A/N: idk how I feel about this one but ShirazuTwin!reader because this needs something like that and I LOVE the idea of Urie ending up with someone like that lol.

Also oops it's ANGST.

[iPhone 6s, gray]

You threw your phone up and down while your brother was somewhere out there trying to get Saiko to commit to the 'super urgent squad meeting' he insisted he had to hold—even if he wasn't the squad leader.

"I got her!" He shouts as he enters the living room, plopping her on a chair and sitting next to you, placing an arm behind the couch and tilting his head back to breath better. This girl drained so much energy out of him... You liked it.

"There's no way Saiko did that to you." You said, trying your best to hold your grin from appearing on your face.

"Don't even start. I won't hesitate to hurt you, (Y/N)."

"Let's not get violent again, please." Mutsuki begged. "But where's Mister Sasaki? Shouldn't he be here if this is a squad meeting?"

You nodded at the green head's words, silently agreeing while pocketing your phone away.

"I'm pretty certain it's not him." Ginshi said, lowering his head back to all of you.

"The way you say it sounds like someone got murdered and you're looking for the culprit." You commented, raising an eyebrow at your brother's odd behaviour.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he killed someone." Urie spoke, making you remember that the manipulative bastard was right there beside you. You raised an eyebrow at him, confused. "Shirazu, that is." At this, you nodded your head, letting out a small 'ah' of agreement as your twin brother hit you upside the back of your head.

"If that were the case you wouldn't be here, moles." Your twin answered, making you snicker. "I heard someone in the office likes (Y/N) and I want to know who the bastard is."

Your heart felt like it dropped, forcing you to become mute for the time being. Luckily 'moles' stepped in for you, speaking your exact thoughts.

"Are you seriously trying to hold a gossip session?" He asked, bewildered by Ginshi's stupidity.

"No, I want to know who it is." He growled. Ah, there was the murder part you were expecting. He was gonna kill the poor guy, wasn't he?

...you really should print out some kind of business cards saying 'please don't mess with the Shirazu's' on it... It might save a few lives.

"Calm down, Shirazu." Mutsuki spoke. "It's not so bad, is it? The chances that (Y/N) likes them back-"

"Are zero." Saiko answered, apparently awake. "Because Shira-chan likes someone else~" she teased, sending a knowing wink your way. How'd she even know?!

"WHAT?!" Your brother yelled, making everyone—Urie included—jump and wince.

"Calm yourself, demon." You muttered, crossing your arms to form a cross. "It's just a crush, not like I'm gonna fool around with him-" Shit. That's a bit too much information right there...

"So it's a him?! What if it's the same guy that likes you?! I'm telling Sassan! No one's fucking my sister!" He exclaimed, getting up.

"You seriously got the whole squad here for a simple sibling quarrel?" Urie deadpanned, but remained seated. Odd... You were surprised he stayed for something like this without complaining it was a waste of his oh so precious time.

"A-and there's no reason to get Sasaki-san involved..." Mutsuki added. Good to know you had your squad to rely on—minus Ginshi and Saiko.

"I'm gonna find the fucker and beat the hell out of him!" Your twin declared.

"What if it's someone of higher rank? Like Ui?" Saiko asked, making you groan. Your brother's gonna think-

"UI?! OUT OF ANYONE?! Really, (Y/N)?!" He yelled, getting up in your face. You grimaced and pushed him away.

"God, no. I don't like mister Bowl Cut King. That guy's like ten to twenty years older than me! And get your shark face away from me before I kick you there again." You threatened. Ginshi immediately leaned back, before storming out of the room muttering about how he was going to murder someone.

"Not so bright, is he?" Urie asked, staring back at the newspaper he picked up at some point. "He's gonna get in trouble."

"I'm afraid I took most of the positive quirks and talents and left him what ever was remaining." You sighed.

Saiko 'ooh'ed loudly, nodding. "That explains the pointy teeth!" She said, apparently satisfied of the new information.

"Explains why you're pretty, too." Urie said nonchalantly as the rest of the squad turned their heads toward him, eyes wide and mouths gaping. You probably all looked like three fish out of water right now.

"Did you just- insult him and compliment me at the same time?" You asked, awkwardly chuckling. It's not everyday someone gets complimented by Urie Kuki himself...

His eyes remained on the paper, scanning the words without registering them.

'Damn it, why did I say that?!' He thought, mentally beating himself up. He wanted to insult Shirazu– the guy– and accidentally complimented Shirazu–the girl–instead?! Fucking hell, what were you doing to him? He hated you so damn much for that, for messing with him to a point where he had no fucking filter over his own words.

"Don't think it means anything." He muttered, before placing–well, slamming– the newspaper down and walking away.

"Shit, pretty strong reaction if you ask me." You said, shrugging and taking your phone out again, crossing your legs and laying down on the couch, your head on a very flustered Mutsuki's lap.

"He's already so far in..." Saiko said, a hint of evil present in her tone of voice. "It seems the elixir is working perfectly..."

"Yonebayashi, you really scare me sometimes." You sighed. "And Tooru, stop blushing so much. I can literally feel the heat radiating off your face from down here."

The male tensed up. "A-ah, sorry, Shirazu."

"I told you, my brother's Shirazu, and I'm just (Y/N)." You answered, eyes not leaving your phone. "Now get some control over your face, dude." You smirked. You were messing around already with the poor guy, how about you fluster him some more? "Or... Could the heat be coming from a bit lower, perhaps?"

Mutsuki went into a coughing fit as you started laughing, Saiko complaining in the background.

"Nooo, Shira-chan! Don't flirt with Mucchan, I need my OTP!"

"I really can't comprehend you, Saiko." You sighed once both you and Mutsuki has calmed down.

••••

[Bose SoundSport Free Truly Wireless Sport Headphones, Black]

Sighing, Urie set down his pen and pushed the paperwork away from him, satisfied with the work done. Now, not only did he have the whole day ahead of him, but he had the Chateau to himself since the others decided to go out with Sasaki.

Or so he thought.

Getting up from the table, his eyes fell on your phone, sitting on the kitchen counter. Had you forgotten it? No, you always had it on you in case of emergencies, and you weren't the forgetful type when it came to stuff like this.

Dates and days, on the other hand, you were terrible at remembering, that he noticed. But that must have been the only weakness he saw in you, and it was a small scale one. You were intelligent, witty, strong, confident, friendly, optimistic and your sense of humour was a thing of wonder. Not only that, but when you used your intellects in fighting, you were a force to be reckoned with. Training with you was something Urie always looked forward to, no matter how much he'd try to deny it.

And there his mind went again, off into an infinite rant about you. He hated that. He absolutely hated how you made him feel so vulnerable inside. He hated that he cared about you so much. That would be his downfall in battle. If anyone found out, they had a perfect hostage right there, and Urie knew he'd do what ever was asked of him to ensure your safety. Being in love was terrible. Especially when he couldn't openly be with you.

His thoughts got cut off when you walked into the spacious room, smile appearing on your face once you spotted him. It was scary how you resembled your twin brother, yet you were your own unique self.

You and Ginshi resembled each other at first, but after getting to know you, it seemed like your appearance changed, like you got even more beautiful than you were before, and he saw more differences between you and your brother than resemblances. It was an odd thing, but what else would someone expect from such a horrible thing like love?

You walked over, a box wrapped up sitting in your hands. They seemed so soft— Urie stopped the train of thoughts before it could take him away again. He can't get caught staring at you like the love sick fool he was.

"Aren't you supposed to be with the others?" He asked, making you laugh. Of course he'd say that.

"Yeah, but I'm still drained from the training from yesterday. You have to admit I'm pretty close to beating you." You said, teasing him.

"If that's what you want to hear." He answered with his uncaring tone. You still had room for (a lot of) improvement...

"Ah, shush, I know." You said, waving him off. "I'm not even close, but it's better than nothing. I've got more chances against Ginshi now. Anyways!" You handed him the box, smile becoming nearly blinding from its brightness. "Happy birthday, Kuki!" You exclaimed.

"I thought you were bad with dates." He said, hiding a smile as he took the package from your hands, carefully avoiding the possibility to brush his hand against yours. He doesn't even want to know how his body would react if he had physical contact with you in a situation that wasn't training.

"I am, but I took note of your birthday on several calendars and I put reminders on my phone."

He was stunned. You did that just for him? That's really, really nice of you. Maybe things aren't so hopeless after all...

"And the other Quinx members and the Suzuya squad, but yeah. I need a lot of noting to remember them." You continued, making Urie mentally face palm at his former thoughts. Of course this treatment wasn't just for him. Nothing was.

"What are you waiting for?" You asked, sitting down on the table, facing your friend. "Open it! I already went through so much trouble to make sure you wouldn't see it before today!"

You watched as Urie sat down again and tore the wrapping paper off, making sure to not make too much of a mess and open the cardboard box, pulling out a smaller, black box. "You're so stupid." He muttered, eyeing the English writing on the box. He wasn't that fluent in the language, but he sure as hell knew what these were. "Aren't those like 28 000 yen (250$)?"

"Yeah, but I thought you might like them more since they're wireless. Less of a hassle when we're out chasing ghouls and such. Also good for training!" You said, apparently not caring on wasting so much money on someone's birthday gift.

"I can't accept these." Urie said, pushing the box towards you, making you frown. His chest tightened at the sight and made guilt flood his veins. Just a little bit more and he'd pull the box back to him. "You should keep them. I don't think it's an appropriate gift for just a friend." Damn, those words stung more than he'd like.

"What?" You asked. "But I wanted the gift to be something useful to you!" You whined, pushing the box back towards Urie. "And I don't care if you think it's not a gift a friend would give! I'm not just anyone! I care about you all!" You went through way too much trouble to have this asshole refusing the gift you worked so hard to buy!

Urie shook his head and pushed the box back, not trusting his voice.

"Be my boyfriend." The harsh tone in your voice surprised you, and apparently Urie too.

"I'm sorry?" He asked. He was surprised that he could keep his cool exterior like he was. The internal yelling wasn't really helping with thinking this situation through.

"Will you accept the gift if you become my boyfriend?" You clarified.

"Are we seriously going to base a relationship on 28 000 yen earbuds?" The squad leader asked, deadpanning. God, he wanted to say yes so bad, but if you didn't return his feelings, it would just hurt even more. Why was love so damn painful all the time?

"Well, no, but I feel like it's now or never." You answered, shrugging. "Last time I checked a healthy relationship is based off love, trust and communication, so we should probably add those in the mix too."

Alright, when was he going to wake up? Urie was so sure this was a dream. Just his brain trying to make him happy for once in his life. But he can't let an opportunity like this just slip away from between his fingers. Dream or not, you actually asked him to be your lover. You gave him the choice, damn it!

But what if it's just a dream? He'll take the consequences.

But what if you don't actually return his feelings? He'll take the consequences.

But what if something happens to you in the future? He'll take the consequences.

He didn't give a shit about the future now. Here, in the present, you just gave the man a chance for him to be yours, and yourself his and if he were to deny it he'd hate himself for all of eternity.

You hesitantly slid the box back to him, feeling the heart failure etching closer and closer as you watched Urie's hand approach yours. Push the box away or take it. This was what it came down to.

You let out a sigh of relief when the male put his hands over yours and then took the box.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything." He said, voice barely above a whisper, but you heard him loud and clear. He eyed the box affectionately, an emotion you easily picked up on.

Smiling brightly, you nodded. "So you were the 'guy from the office', huh?" You finally concluded. Apparently Saiko was both right and wrong...

The look of affection in Urie's eyes died down as his head snapped up. "Shit." He said, eyes searching yours to see if you thought the same as him. Apparently not, because your brows furrowed in confusion, about to ask something until the front door opened.

"Brought you the snacks you wanted, sis!" Ginshi exclaimed as he threw a plastic bag towards you. He saw the box Urie held and looked back at you, incredulous. "You actually fucking went through with it."

"U-uh, yeah..." You said, instantly feeling guilty. Those 28 000 yen could have gone to Haru instead if you hadn't been so selfish... Oh boy, Ginshi was going to beat the shit out of you for that.

"And you gave me a god damn rubber shark bath tub toy for my birthday!" Your sibling exclaimed, heading out of the room. "That's unfair on so many levels, (Y/N)!" He shouted before heading up to his own room. Apparently your death wasn't scheduled for today...

You leaned your head on your hands, palms digging into your forehead. "Fucking hell." You hissed, finally catching on what Urie was upset about earlier.

"We're going to have to hide this effectively." Kuki sighed, getting up once again. "I'm sure we can make it work, though. I'll make this work. Good day, Shirazu." With that, the squad leader went away leaving you to your own thoughts.

Your brother'll be so pissed when he finds out.

••••

[White blanket]

Urie couldn't help but smile in amusement when you tiptoed through the living room in the dark, looking back a few times to make sure no one was following you.

"Relax, ninja." He said, making himself comfortable on the couch, looking through the movies and TV shows. "They're all asleep. They won't figure it out."

You finally plopped down on the couch, hesitantly leaning your head on his shoulder which made his heart flutter. He's been imagining going on some kind of date with you for a while now, but seeing as it was actually happening, he didn't know wether he was dreaming again or not.

"Hm, yeah..." You trailed off before chuckling. "A midnight-movie-first-date... Pretty romantic, I would have never expected it from you, Kuki."

He was about to answer before you pointed to the television. "There! Stop! We have to watch a few episodes of that!" You whisper-yelled, eyes glued on the cover of 'The Office'.

"It's an American TV show, (Y/N). Let's find something local-" He was cut off by you tugging on his shirt.

"You can switch the language to Japanese! I tried before and it works! Please, it's really funny too..." You begged, adverting your gaze to the male beside you.

Could Urie even say no to you? Not to something like this. If it meant seeing you smile and laugh, then hell yeah he was going to watch The Office.

Halfway through season one, you had draped a white blanket over the two of you and you made Urie lay down on the couch so you could lay on top of him. Another half hour and you were knocked out.

Were things going fast in this relation? From the way the two of you were installed at this moment, yes. Did it bother him? Not at all. It just meant he got to be affectionate quicker. Besides, with you fast asleep, he could give you all the loving looks he wished to give you without hearing your constant teasing. All was good. He was happy.

After a while, Urie gave up fighting his heavy eyelids and leaned his head back on the couch, both arms embracing you as he fell asleep too.

••••

[Polaroid picture titled 'OTP']

"What the fuck?!" You jerked awake at the sound of an extremely familiar voice. Rubbing the sleep away from your eyes, you yelped as someone yanked you off Urie, only to have your boyfriend pull you back into his arms.

"Get your hands off my sister you bastard!" Oh. That was Ginshi, wasn't it?

"Urie, I think we'd have a better chance at living through this if you let me go... Just for a little while." You whispered, relieved when his grip on you loosened, and you rolled off of him, getting to your feet. "Ginshi, look..."

"The fuck's going on, (Y/N)?!" He exclaimed.

"Shush, you'll wake everyone up!" You warned, pushing him away from Urie before things got violent.

"It's ten AM! Everyone is up except the two of you, apparently! Is he the guy?! Did you fool around with him?!" You didn't even care if everyone was up and watching, Ginshi was taking this really badly.

"What-"

"You fucking- you broke her, didn't you?!" He yelled at Urie who was now on his feet and a few meters away from you. "I'll fucking kill you!"

You let out a scream as your hands found their way to your twin's chest, using all your strength to keep him away from the calm as fuck Urie behind you. Soon, a head of black and white hair appeared and grabbed your brother by the arms and tugged him back.

"He did nothing wrong, Ginshi! Relax! He's actually really nice. And I like him." You said, standing straight as if to say 'I'm not scared of you.'

You felt Urie's hand on your shoulder, a silent way to tell you that he's 100% with you, until Ginshi's glare made him let go.

Sasaki managed to talk some sense into the enraged blonde, who calmed down after several minutes.

"I still don't want him touching you when I'm in a ten kilometre radius..." He grumbled.

"If that means you won't kill the man, then okay." You said, patting his shoulder. "Thanks for not hurting him, bro." You gave him a smile.

"I won't hurt her, I swear, Shirazu." Urie said, still keeping his distance from you two.