A/N: yes, I finished TG:re and yes, I'm aware of touken but c'mon lil Haise deserves at least his happiness even if it's not forever (because let's be honest things'll go to shit in the relationship once Reaper!Haise/Kaneki takes over).

You were so ashamed, yet, the reason to your shame was so petty that it simply doubled the amount of guilt you were feeling over this whole scenario.

Seeing everyone around you baring their own scars, hearing everyone tell their own unique, sad yet inspiring story... And you had nothing.

He lost both of his parents to ghouls.

Her father was an associate special class investigator killed by a ghoul.

His father was an investigator killed during an owl extermination operation.

He's working here to make money for his sick sister.

Her mother forced her to join for the money.

His adoptive father was a ghoul.

He joined the CCG at fifteen years old due to his incredible talent.

He was kidnapped and raised by a sadistic ghoul, so the CCG took him in.

His family was killed by ghouls.

His best friend went missing so he's here to try and find him again.

And so on.

Everyone had a sad story, a horrible tragedy, late parents or siblings. Everyone had unbearable emotional trauma and some even have mental disorders due to it. The first thing investigators ask once they befriend one another is their story. What had broken them, what made them join. It was the one thing everyone had in common.

Yet you had nothing. No unique talent, no scars, no family trouble, no dead family members because of ghouls. Usually, people would be happy to hear about that, but when you live in an environment where loss is normal, people like you were considered abnormal and out of their minds to be in a business like this. You had always been ashamed of that.

Ever since you joined and learned of how out of place you truly were, you didn't quit. You weren't a quitter for one, and working in the CCG had been a dream of yours, after all. You just... Made yourself invisible. You only spoke when absolutely needed, you stayed in the average work ethic and always hid from others. It worked to a certain extent, and you were satisfied, until you had to meet the Quinx squad.

Seeing as they weren't all males, it was protocol that there had to be a female superior in the household too, and you just had to be miraculously chosen for the job, meaning your cover up and hiding will all go to shit.

And it did.

People were seeing you now, pointing at you and whispering about how you were partially in charge for synthetic half ghouls, and how the Quinx were just mistakes. All you could tell yourself was that at least they weren't talking about your 'abnormal' past...

"So, what's wrong with you, Urie?" Shirazu asked as he settled down on the couch, next to you. "What's the backstory, I mean."

You had to get out, and quickly. But you couldn't just up and leave, they'd notice. And they'd ask questions. Especially with Haise around... You couldn't tell him about what you were scared of. The poor boy has hands down the worst past ever. You'd just be making him feel worse about himself... And never would you want to see that sweet man sad. It'd just break your heart.

"My father was killed by the Owl." He muttered, eyes never leaving the newspaper he was holding.

'Okay, (Y/N). On three, you'll just get up, go to the kitchen to make them think you're getting water or something, and you'll just go to your room.' You said, trying to give yourself a pep talk.

'Three,'

"That's sad. 'M sorry for your loss." Shirazu muttered.

'Two,' you took a deep breath.

"At least you still have your mother, right?" Haise tried to lift the mood, giving Urie a caring smile.

'One.' Activating the muscles in your thighs, your butt was barely an inch above the couch when Mutsuki spoke up, directing his attention on you.

"What about you, (L/N)-san? What's your motivation for joining?" He innocently asked.

'That little shit.' You venomously thought, slowly rising to stand.

"U-uh..." You awkwardly scratched your arm, looking around the room as if it'd help. "I, uh..."

What are you going to tell them about? Your perfect, nuclear family? Your childhood friends? Your days at school where there wasn't an hour that went by without you smiling at least once? You had nothing.

Without uttering another word, you frowned and left the four males, (speed) walking to your room.

"What..? Did I say something..?" Mutsuki asked, still looking at the doorway you disappeared through.

"Women," Shirazu sighed. "They get worked up over the tiniest things." He leaned back on the couch nonchalantly, putting his arms behind his head.

"You guys, stop." Haise intervened. "(Y/N) has a rough time around the office, from what Akira told me..."

"Is her past that bad..?" Mutsuki gaped, "I should go apologize!"

"No! Don't!" Haise jumped up, only to blush at his outburst and sit back down. "I mean... It would just worsen the situation."

"So... What went on with young (Y/N)?" Shark boy asked, eyeing his superior curiously. "I won't judge, promise. Can't say the same for Urie though..."

"Shut up." The purple head growled.

"Oh, so he IS listening! Amazing."

"You guys, stop." Mutsuki whined. "Don't fight again. Last time you gave me a black eye!"

"I won't fight him if Haise tells us what's up." Ginshi shrugged.

"I... You didn't need to threaten me, Shirazu..." Sasaki sighed, shoulders slumping.

"So, then? What's wrong with (Y/N)'s past?"

"Nothing." From his tone, you could tell Haise was regretting telling the truth, but to the Quinx, it just sounded like he was lying.

"Spit it, Sassan." Shirazu pushed, leaning forward a bit.

"(Y/N) has no past issues. That's what she's insecure about. Her family's fine, she had a great childhood and a lot of friends, she did good in school. She joined the CCG because that's what she wanted to do."

"What the hell?" Shirazu spat.

"But... She could have been anything and she chose this..?" Mutsuki asked. "How could she... Oh." Blushing at how easily he reacted, Mutsuki covered his mouth as Haise nodded.

"That's exactly what every one else thinks. Here, it's normal for people to have lost a lot. The fact that she had no past issues makes her... Special from the rest." He explained, sighing. "She must feel so alone, even if there are so many people who would want to be there for her."

"Oi. Do you like her or something?" Shirazu grimaced.

"W-what?! Of course not!" The pudding haired male blushed profusely. "What g-gave you that idea?!"

Mutsuki cringed, Shirazu let out a loud laugh and Urie rolled his eyes. Their mentor's blushed deepened.

"Y-you guys! Stop! I-I don't like her! How unprofessional w-would t-that be?!" He nervously laughed.

"You ain't fooling anyone, Sassan. Go up there and cheer her up or something, because Mutsuki and I suck at that stuff, and Urie's too evil for that gooey shit." With that, the blond kicked Sasaki's leg, signalling him to just go already.

"I don't like her!" He exclaimed as he left the room.

Regardless what he said, he still questioned himself.

'Do I like her?' He asked, unsure.

'No... I can't. I feel like I do, but... He doesn't, does he?'

Shaking his head, Haise let go of the creepy thought and headed to his colleague's bedroom to sort things out.

••••

You heard the soft knock on your door but ignored it, knowing it had to be someone that came to question you about your sudden leave.

"(Y/N)?" Haise hesitantly asked, opening the door and peeking in, see on you at your desk, probably working on paperwork. "Is everything alright? You sort of stormed out back there..."

"Everything's fine, Haise. I just remembered I had these to fill." You waved around the documents. "Anything you wanted to ask me?" You never faced him. If you did, he'd probably notice your glossy, red eyes.

You heard your bed creak as your friend probably sat down. "(Y/N), there's nothing to be ashamed of. You shouldn't be ashamed of your past."

Your hand stopped writing, your whole body frozen by fear. Did he know..? Shit. Shit, not him. He'd probably hate you for it.

"It's okay. I'm fine. It's in the past." You briefly said, hoping he'd think you did have some kind of traumatic past.

"No one is judging you for having a normal life." He reassured, voice soft. Too soft. It made you think he pitied you. You nearly gagged.

"This isn't a normal life." You growled, loudly setting your pencil down. "A normal life is where I don't have to be insecure about the way my coworkers point at me, where I don't think they're whispering about how I have a normal, nuclear family and good memories. Where I'm not ashamed of having a life that remains untouched and uncorrupted by ghouls. This isn't normal, Haise!" You turned your chair around, finally facing the sweet man. Upon seeing his face, your anger disappeared. "Oh no... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I didn't... I got carried away, I'm sorry!" Your blabbering stopped when you saw Haise's confused expression.

"Why would you offend me?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Well... No offence, but my past compared to yours... I have literally no right to complain, and I'm sorry that you had to hear my pity-"

"Don't apologize." The stern tone he used threw you off. "Everyone has problems, and not because someone's problems seem bigger than yours does it mean that you have to bottle up your feelings. I'm not offended, (Y/N). I don't like seeing you like this, unhappy and insecure. I want to see you smile, and laugh and interact with people who you would think of as friends!" He gave you a shy smile. "I want to be there with you when it happens."

Flabbergasted, you let out a huff of air. "You're not... You're not mad?"

"Not at all. If you need to, you can vent it all. I'll be there to listen. No one should try to solve all their problems alone. It usually doesn't work in their favour." With that, Haise got up and took your hands, pulling you up to your feet and hugging you tightly. He settled one hand on the small of your back and the second on the back of your head, gently pressing your face into his chest.

Hesitantly, your arms wrapped around his torso and you pressed yourself against him, relaxing into the hug. "Thank you..." You whispered.

You thought your words got lost somewhere in between, but when his embrace tightened, you knew he had heard you.

"I..." Haise's heartbeat increased. Should he say this? He wasn't sure of it 100%, but he felt it, yet some other part of him... Didn't.

To hell with this. It was his life, not that other guy's. They were his feelings. His decisions.

"I love you, (Y/N). And I'll be there for you, even if you don't want me back." He confessed. The words felt right, to him.

You tensed up in his arms, and fear took over the male's body. You were going to reject his feelings any second now...

"I... I think I love you too, Haise." You admitted, burying your face into his chest furthermore.

You both smiled at the other's confessions, the negativity of the night erased in the light of love.

Even if it doesn't last forever, maybe you could just enjoy yourself for once and forget about your problems, while simultaneously helping Haise forget his own.