A/N: this is loosely based on Louis Armstrong's La Vie en Rose, which is so good and it warms my heart every time I listen to it so why not corrupt it with angst? THIS CONTAINS TOKYO GHOUL:RE SPOILERS SO HEADS UP!

I added a link to the video so you can know what I mean by it actually warms my cold dead heart and soul I love this song so much it makes me fall in love.

Also, be warned there's a lot of French words here and there since I'm fluent in the language as well, so have google translate at the ready! (Be warned some scenes aren't like from the manga because I'm too lazy I'M SORRY)

You collapsed on your couch, taking in the white ceiling above you.

Working in the CCG was such a bad fucking idea.

You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, trying to find everything positive in your life and think of only that, and not the trouble that would come up in the future.

Your childhood friends, those little innocent kids who didn't know about the problems adulthood would give them and the pain it would cause.

Your family, who have been worrying about your wellbeing ever since you enrolled in the CCG, and who you haven't seen in such a long time.

Your friends, most of whom are fighting against ghouls everyday struggling to keep 'peace' in this hell of a city.

Your lover, who was probably the only positive thing you had left. He was a literal ray of positivity and love, busting down the front door of your apartment every once in a while, insisting that the two of you do something together because your job has been keeping you from him.

You smiled at the thought, and your head snapped to the door once you heard it fly open, knowing exactly who it was.

"(Y/N), ma chère!" Shuu greeted as he hugged your now standing form. "You've arrived earlier than I thought!"

You hugged him back and laughed. "What, you just wanted to break into my apartment again?"

"I wanted to surprise you, but I suppose I wouldn't mind if the roles were switched." He hummed as he breathed in your scent.

See, at this point in your relationship with Shuu, gestures like that had just gotten endearing instead of creepy or unsettling. Now that you're dating someone like him, you could never go back to the regular folks ever again. Not that you wanted to. You'd spend eternity with him if it was possible.

"So what brings you to my apartment on this gloo- beautiful day?" You pulled away from him to sit down on the couch once again, and encouraged him to mimic your actions. He happily complied and pulled you to his chest.

"My father wanted us three to have diner tonight. You don't have to if you don't want to, but I have to say you handled it pretty well the last time, trésor." His fingers started trading patterns on your arm.

You were about to answer, but your memories stopped you from doing so.

••••

"There's a resemblance in the two, that's for sure. I can see it, can't you, Ui?" You asked, ripping your gaze away from the pictures of the crime scene. You were glad you knew how to act, because this entire situation was making you incredibly nervous.

'They found Kanae out. They found Kanae out. Oh my god they'll find Shuu.' Your mind repeated these thoughts like a broken record.

"The Rosewald descendant can't survive. We'll call them Rose for now. Kijima, can we entrust this to you?" Matsuri asked.

The creepy bastard nodded, and you raised your hand. "Might I know what I'm doing here, then?" You asked. You really had no business here for more than one reason.

"You'll be back up. We don't know if Rose acts alone or not yet—though I highly doubt they're alone— and the more highly ranked investigators we have on this, the better."

"Sounds legit." You agreed.

"You're all dismissed."

••••

'They haven't found connections to anyone yet. You might as well take the chance before it's too late and they know what's up...' You thought.

"Mon amour? Are you alright? You are aware that you're not forced to do this, right? I'm sure my father would understand if you'd rather rest, we all know your work has been quite tough recently, and with your state..."

"N-no! It's fine, I'd love to have dinner with your family, Shuu." You assured. You felt colour crawl back into your pale face. "Really, I'd love to, as long as I don't need to eat human flesh, of course."

"Ah, l'horreur! I would never let that happen!" He dramatized, leaving you giggling.

"Good, because I don't want some kind of human version of mad cow disease."

He chuckled, glancing at the time. "We should probably get going, then! Come, mi amore!" With that, he interlaced his fingers with yours, dragging you out of your apartment and to the Tsukiyama estate.

••••

"Hm, I just realized." Shuu stated, glancing at you. "You never did tell me in what field you work in, dear."

"A-ah? I didn't?" You question, getting slightly nervous. Sure, if it were only him, maybe you wouldn't have minded coming clear, but Mirumo was there, and so were Matsumae and Kanae. Learning that the next head of the Tsukiyama family was dating a human in the CCG was a HUGE red flag, and you wouldn't be mad if they actually killed you right there and then.

"Not that I recall, (Y/N)." He gave you a smile. Such a sweet smile... You didn't deserve this man.

"A-ah, well... I'm... I was in this cultural project in Disney World a few years back, and it payed really well, so I'm not in need for money right now, but I'm trying to get into a law project soon enough." You lied, making it fairly believable. "We actually met only a few months after I returned from Orlando, Shuu!"

"That's quite interesting." Mirumo commented.

"It was pretty hard to get into, really. It's thanks to my ambitious side that I got in." You explained.

Shuu chuckled. "It would explain a few decorations in your apartment."

Well, not really. You never did get into the Disney cultural project in Epcot. You and your family were just Disney fans, is all. But thank god you worked it out.

"So you want to get into the law business next?" Mirumo asked.

"W-well, it's just an option, really... I know it's too late to get into science, since it would require a lot of years studying and I don't have the time, and while I am doing okay with writing, I can't see going far into it." You took a sip of your glass of water to try and gain some hydration from your sweating. God, they could smell your anxiousness, you knew it.

You just hoped they thought it was because you were jobless at the moment.

"Your knowledge of law may help once we get married and settle with my father's business." Shuu mindlessly commented.

You had no idea water could go so far down a person's windpipe.

Silently coughing, you attempted to speak. "Ma- marhk- Married?!"

Mirumo chuckled. "You're scaring her, Shuu."

"I just- I'm sorry, but that's..."

"Too much for you?" Shuu worriedly asked.

"Well- not exactly, it's just... Oh god, I don't deserve you!"

(Kanae frowned. 'Damn right you don't.')

The Tsukiyama duo seemed taken aback by your statement.

"I apologize." You regained your composure. "I'm just slightly shocked, is all. But in the long run, I wouldn't mind being stuck with you. At this point, we'll have to eventually, right?" You smirked at Shuu knowingly.

You caught a glimpse of a nostalgic smile on Mirumo's face.

••••

You weren't feeling so well today. Ever since a servant from the Tsukiyama household got caught by Kijima, you just felt so under the weather. Anxiety and guilt were eating you up.

What happened to him?

What would happen to you if they knew you were dating Shuu?

What would happen to Shuu himself?

What would he think of you?

It didn't help that today you had a meeting about the case.

Sighing, you opened up the meeting room doors and sat down in your designated seat, between Ui and Suzuya, nausea building up for the millionth time in two weeks.

"You okay (Y/N)?" The man child asked. "You're really pale."

"I'm fine." You gave him a convincing smile. "Just a bit under the weather. Nothing too bad."

"You do know it's not any better if you stay and get sick halfway through, right? I could fill you in later." Haise, who was facing you, said.

"It's fine. I'd feel bad for missing work."

The two let go of the subject and Ui eyed you suspiciously.

Soon, the meeting began and Kijima got up, giving the news that the Tsukiyama family had been discovered. Your stomach turned at the news.

'It's okay. I can tell them to flee the country and go with them. It's okay-"

"I've already made the arrangements to undergo the operation tonight. All the units have been contacted in advance."

Your lower lip twitched, the feeling of bile burning your throat. You swallowed a number of times to try to push it down, but to no avail. Before you could regurgitate your lunch onto the table, Ui swiftly handed you a trash can that he apparently had next to him, and you left it all go, interrupting the meeting.

"I knew something wasn't right with you." He said. "You've been overworking yourself, haven't you?"

Your panting stopped you from denying his accusation. The attention you were getting from the higher ups made you even more nervous.

"You should go home and rest, (Y/N)-San." Haise said.

"B-but the operation-"

"Will go smoothly with and without you. We wouldn't want you puking on the ghouls now, would we?" Ui said, which was out of character and not just a little.

"Besides, maybe... You should take a break." Haise said, glancing at you worriedly. "And maybe check with a doctor if..." He trailed off, but you were too nauseous to ask about anything.

After you were sure you wouldn't puke again, you silently obeyed Sasaki and excused yourself from the meeting, supposedly heading home. After being far enough from the CCG office, you decided to take the long road to the Tsukiyama estate, hoping the CCG didn't have anyone tailing you.

••••

Hurriedly entering once Matsumae had opened the door, you commanded. "I need to see Mirumo. Right fucking now."

"(Y/N)-"

"This is urgent, Matsumae."

"Of course." With that, she led you to where he was.

Upon entering his office, he politely asked you to sit down, which you declined and started pacing around his office once Matsumae left.

"What is it that you need, dear?"

"They found you out. The CCG's coming for you, tonight!" You confessed. Now that you opened your mouth, you couldn't shut it. "I'm an investigator, but I swear I never meant to harm you, or Shuu, or anyone in your estate! I- They found out about Kanae, and I thought maybe they wouldn't be able to trace him, since they were really clueless, but then they kidnaped Yuuma, and they lured Aliza, and she- she got tortured into telling Kijima everything! And now they're planning on raiding this place God knows when, but it's today!" You turned to face Mirumo, a heartbroken expression on your face. "I'm so sorry. I was so happy with your son, I couldn't see how poison I am and because of that-"

"He'll be safe." Mirumo interrupted. "Thank you for telling me, (Y/N). You have done nothing wrong. If it weren't for you, Shuu may not be able to live another day."

You sat down and silently cried. "How are you so calm?"

"I'm not. I'm terrified." He confessed, and you heard the rattling of his chair. "Please, go find Shuu, but refrain from telling him anything. I have some business to attend to."

Before the man could exit the room, you got up. "Mirumo?"

"Yes dear?"

"I will fight by your side. I know some of these people, I've trained with them, but I'm not afraid to fight for him. Please, I can maybe stall them-"

"Stay by Shuu."

"But these people-"

"You've done your part, (Y/N), and Shuu will need someone by his side. We all cannot afford to lose you."

You remained silent and nodded, heading out of his office to find the purple head you love so much.

••••

"A helicopter should be waiting up there for us." Matsumae explained as you passed by the numerous ghouls whispering and chatting nothing but positivity about Shuu.

"Last time I've seen him, he wasn't taller than this!"

"He looks just like his mother..."

"Mirumo told me that human's the reason Shuu is able to escape."

"She'll be a perfect wife and mother, I know it."

You felt uncomfortable from the gossip, but discarded it when you arrived to the elevator and made your way up to the roof, where Matsumae and Mairo left the two of you to stall some time.

"Promise you'll come back." Shuu pleaded.

Not expecting Matsumae to say anything, you placed a hand on your lover's shoulder, a small attempt to console him.

"I'm going to lose everyone..."

Your gaze left the closing door and you faced Shuu, embracing him.

"It's okay... You'll be okay..." You whispered. What else could you say? 'Your not going to lose any one'? Lies. 'What's life without loss?' Depressing. 'I'm here'? Selfish.

"Please, stay with me too." He begged. "I'll protect you, just don't leave me now."

"Can't do otherwise. I've got no weapon to defend myself with."

'But that doesn't mean I won't do anything if it comes to it.' You thought. Too many people had sacrificed their lives for this man. He can't die. Not today, nor tomorrow.

You kept comforting Shuu, listening to the muffled battle downstairs. From the sound of it, more people had joined, ghouls and humans.

Once Shuu seemed more in control of his own emotions, he pulled back. "Aren't you worried for your friends?" He asked.

You tilted your head, confused.

"The CCG. Your friends. Aren't you worried?"

"How long have you..?"

"The morning after. I woke up before you and saw some files in the kitchen."

"Oh." You glanced down. Now you felt even guiltier for lying to him. "I'm sorry..."

"Non, je te pardonne. I understand." He placed his hand on your cheek.

"I still... You told me about your secret, and you trusted me with your whole family history! And I lied to you for years... Hell, I lied in your face for a month! I'm sorry, Shuu. I should have told you. Maybe this wouldn't be happening if I hadn't been so cowardly."

You placed your hand on his, trying to memorize the feeling of it. "I feel like I was lacking trust in you, and that's unforgivable..." You muttered.

Shuu remained silent, causing you to look up. Far in the distance, you could see the helicopter coming this way. Your boyfriend glanced at it too, before turning his attention back to you.

"Once this is all over, I'm going to marry you." He smiled. "We'll live in a foreign country, with a small, normal life... And a family."

"Canada?" You suggested. It was known to be quite peaceful for both humans and ghouls, and in terms of law and such, it was heaven.

"Canada sounds perfect."

The sound of the helicopter approached furthermore, making your heart beat faster than it was before. Freedom was so close...

Yet, so far.

Before the helicopter could land, it blew up and fell down, leaving you bewildered.

What now?

"I can't believe it..." You muttered.

"You're fucking kidding." Tsukiyama deadpanned, staring at someone.

Once your gaze settled on the man, you froze.

"(Y/N)?" Haise asked, rather confused.

"Hi, Sasaki..." You glanced at Tsukiyama. "Listen, can't we... Work this out..?"

Ouch. You sounded pathetic.

"I have no confirmation on Tsukiyama's son yet." Haise stated, probably through a transmitter.

"You're lying..?" You questioned. "You could get severe- actually nevermind I won't mention it."

"Are you taking pity on me?" Shuu said, offended.

"I was ordered to exterminate you." Haise clarified. You took a protective stance out of reflex. "But before that, I want to talk to you."

"What is it?" You glanced between the two, staying on your toes for any sudden movements from Sasaki.

"Please surrender. Both of you. I could have ownership rights over you and make this look like (Y/N) was unwillingly dragged into this. No one will be harmed."

"'Surrender', you say?"

"Shuu, don't even think about it." You warned, before he launched forward and kicked Haise.

'His spine is not supposed to bend like that...' You thought as you looked around for a weapon, a metal pipe being the best thing you could find.

"I would never do that." Shuu spoke from afar as you lifted the pipe and headed towards the fight, disregarding whatever it was that your lover was saying.

You got there as Sasaki was about to thrust something that looked like a metal pole down onto Shuu's neck, which would probably kill him. Panicking, you let go of the pipe and launched yourself forward.

"No!" You screeched, tackling Haise onto the ground. You felt a pricking pain in your chest as it painfully heaved up and down, a thick, dark substance leaking down onto Haise's clothes.

Seeing as the investigator was frozen, you shakily got up and backed away from him.

'Don't look down. Don't look down...'

Glancing down, you spotted the metal piercing deep into your skin, and stumbled backwards. You looked at Shuu, heartbroken by his expression.

"Je t'aime." You spoke, mustering up everything you felt for him in one glance before loosing your balance and falling off the edge of the building.

Was he going to be alright?

Was what you did okay?

Would Sasaki have really killed him if you hadn't stepped in?

Would he live on?

Was this really it?

"I'm sorry." You whimpered before hitting the hard pavemented ground, arms cradling your stomach.

EXTENDED ENDING

He lost everything in mere hours. His father, his friends, his cousin... His lover... His future...

Stumbling on the streets, Shuu knew that CCG investigators were going to ambush him one way or another. Even if he swore he'd live, how could he get out of a situation like this in his state?

But if he died, maybe he'd be with (Y/N) again...

Suddenly, death didn't seem so bad after all... Although he'd miss a few people here.

"There he is! Draw your quinques!" An investigator shouted. Shuu made no movements to fight. As weak as he was, he knew he wouldn't even be able to use his kagune.

Right before his eyes, the humans were killed quickly and painlessly, as two familiar faces greeted him.

Touka looked back to a van, where he spotted Chie waving. After being helped into the car, a familiar head of purple hair turned to him.

"Hello, Shuu." His father calmly greeted, a soft smile on his face. "Where's (Y/N)?"

He told himself he wouldn't cry in front of others, but with everything that happened tonight, how could anyone not break? He curled up on himself and sobbed.

"She's gone..." He managed to say between sobs. "She's gone because I couldn't protect her."