"But how am I supposed to love you when I don't love who I am? And how can I give you all of me when I'm only half a man? 'Cause I'm a sinking ship that's burning so let go of my hand. Oh, how can I give you all of me when I'm only half a man?" —Dean Lewis.

••

The evening air is a little humid, so I ensure not to leave behind my grey, oversize hoodie. It belongs to my late father but I took possession of it due to how roomy and warm it is. But it isn't solely because of that. No matter how many times I wash the fabric, I can still smell his scent on it. It feels as though I am getting a gigantic hug from him whenever I wear it, and it is comforting.

April takes my advice and wears my turtleneck top, and I have to admit that it looks far better on her than it does on me. The long, satin sleeves hug her slender arms perfectly as if the shirt was custom-made just for her. I plan on letting her keep it; it fits her too well.

Yuna and Tia have some group meetings for their Chemistry class, and so they will be coming to the event a little later. The concert is lively and booming when we arrive at the school's landing. Adolescents are all around, laughing, chatting, dancing, and simply enjoying themselves.

"Wow, everyone is so...joyful," I comment above the music.

April laughs as we come to a stop at a corner. "Welcome to college."

My eyes secretly scan the crowded area for Blaze, and April being the observant person she is, notices and smiles.

"He's around here somewhere." She assures me, and my cheeks flush. She always catches me red-handed.

Suddenly, two warm palms press over my eyes from behind, and I freeze.

A noise comes from April as if she was on the verge of revealing the person's identity, but I can tell they had somehow shushed her since she only lets out a chuckle instead.

I smile, shaking my head.

I can feel cool rings pressing against my skin, and the delightful scent coming from them is a total giveaway. I don't need to guess; the answer is obvious.

"Blaze." I giggle. "Try to trick someone else."

He laughs and releases my eyes while he steps back. "Damn, that was quick."

I turn to him smugly. "You can't fool me."

He smiles, and I cannot help taking in how amazing he looks. He's wearing a black T-shirt with ripped black jeans, a white cap sits backward on his head, strands of his dark hair poking out from the open space. A pair of black Vans seals the deal, and his skin is just so flawless that his face appears almost unrealistic.

He's perfect. My perfect.

"You look nice," he says, and I glance at my simple attire. I am wearing a hoodie and jeans. I think I am being overpraised, but I take the compliment anyway.

"Thank you, so do you." I smile.

"April, baby." James beams, moving closer to her. "I missed you."

"James, please get away from me." She hisses.

Blaze laughs, and I begin to recall what April told me earlier about them sleeping together. Suddenly, I can't look at them the same anymore.

It's not that innocent hate/flirt thing like I thought it was, but actually them hiding and denying the fact that they had sex. It makes everything feels different. I don't know, but the fact that April and James could hide that so easily makes me wonder if the rumors about Blaze sleeping with Yuna and Tia were true. When I think about it, Blaze doesn't keep female friends around unless there is something he can get from them, so it leads me to wonder if there are other secrets inside their small little circle.

"You want something to drink?" Blaze asks me, snapping me from my thoughts. Seriously, I need to stop overthinking; I may hurt myself.

I nod. "Yeah, sure thing."

"Come with me." He takes my hand in his, and last night comes flashing before my mind for some reason. Seeing him so vulnerable and lost in ecstasy because of me makes me addicted to the thought of touching him. I want to do it again, but maybe he won't let me.

"Seriously, Blaze, are you going to leave me here with your friend?" April complains, and we turn around to see her facepalming James away from her.

"James, please stop harassing April." Blaze chuckles, and his friend opens his palms with a grin. "I am not; am I harassing you, April?"

She rolls her eyes. "I am going to find Yuna and Tia; you're irritating." She walks away, and James follows her like a lost puppy.

Blaze shakes his head with a smile at the two, and we continue walking.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask.

He smiles. "To get something to drink, and then we can get away from this loud, stupid concert and be alone."

"The life of the party wants to be alone?"

He titters and drops his gaze to the grass while we walk. "I am not the life of the party. Actually. I always love being alone. I just pretend I enjoy these annoying ass people so no one can know about my condition. To be honest, I hate being around all these people here."

He looks at me, and a smile spreads his lips. "Except you...of course."

The sentence leaves me blushing, but I wrinkle my nose to cope with the anxiety. "I don't know. I find it hard to accept that you can't like or love anyone at all...I mean, what about your dad...or your mom. Have you completely lost all feelings for them?"

He tilts his head to the side, and he looks genuinely uncertain. He doesn't answer the question, and I just let it be.

We finally arrive at a stand with beverages, and the guy behind the table grins while connecting fists with Blaze. "Hey, Xander."

"What would you like?" Blaze swings his face to me, and I squint my eyes while staring at the menu chart hanging above the stall. I hate being picky, so I go for the cheapest drink on the list.

"Well...a bottle of water is fine," I say.

He looks at me with a smile of disbelief. "Water? You can get that at the dorm; choose something else, Harmony."

I rub my arm, and the lad behind the stand is smiling while he waits for me to decide. Honestly, I have trouble choosing stuff. I am very indecisive when it comes to menus especially when two pairs of orbs are watching me, probably impatiently.

"Um...I'll just have a Lemonade Splash." Whatever that is.

Blaze seems satisfied, and he nods at the guy who immediately goes to fetch the order.

Once Blaze retrieves it and pays for it, he hands it to me and we walk away. I am struggling to open the bottle when he takes it from my hand and effortlessly spins the cork, then stretches it back to me.

"I don't want you hurting that magical hand of yours." His eyes sparkle with playful lust, and I pretend not to understand that he's hinting at what we did last night.

"Um, thanks." I smile at him nervously. "And thanks for the drink; I'll give you the money for it when we are back at the dorm."

His gaze of disbelief comes back. "No, I don't want it back Harmony, why would I?"

"Because..." I bite my lower lip. "I normally pay for my own drinks."

"Well, not when I am around. Gosh, you're so...civil. You know a lot of girls wouldn't give that back."

"Really? Have girls ever done that with you?"

"No, no I don't normally buy girls drinks...I mean, we don't go farther than the bedroom."

"Oh." The thought of his sexual past tends to raise feelings of jealousy within me, but it immediately gets lost by the fact that Blaze respects me enough to offer me something to drink. He normally wouldn't do that. It makes me realize how different he views me, and for that, I am so grateful.