"And I will find my strength to untape my mouth when I used to be afraid of the words but with you I've learned just to let it out now my heart is ready to burst. 'Cause I feel like I'm ready for love and I wanna be your everything and more. And I know every day I say it but I just want you to be sure, that I am yours~ Ella Henderson.

••

He pulls me on top of him so that I am straddling his lap, and his hard-on immediately grows firmer against my center. It scares me a little, but I don't move away. I don't want to be free from his kiss, not yet.

With our mouths still joined together, the hand caressing my waist wanders down until he's tugging at the drop strings on the front of my shorts. Abruptly, I break the kiss, and his cherry lips jut at the action, wonder reeling in his mesmerizing eyes. My lips part as I stare back at him, my chest lifting and falling.

He smiles. "What? We aren't having sex, don't freak out."

I shake my head, fighting to catch my breath. "It's not that...at all. I-I just think it's unfair for you to be touching me all the time."

He inclines his head to the side, and he seems a mixture of impressed and confused. His hands are off me, and he opens his palms widely while he chuckles.

"Okay, you're right, sorry. See? Not touching you, alright?"

"No, I didn't mean it that way." I clarify, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear, fidgeting on his lap. "I meant...I meant, this time...I wanted to..."

I swallow the words, and my cheeks run crimson. Blaze doesn't need me to finish that sentence because he knows what I mean—perhaps from the way my face is firing up.

His lips turn up in a smile. "You want to touch me."

The words feel so much more embarrassing from his mouth that I wish I could go back to five minutes ago and decide against the thought. I feel cringy all of a sudden, but it's too late to back down now, he already knows.

"Um..." I lower my eyes. "If...if you want me to that is."

I wanted to do something for him. I wanted to return the favor, that's all.

He leans back on his palms, and the smile doesn't leave his lips as he studies my flushed figure sitting on his groin.

"I'd love that," he says, and I look up at him. "But...but I don't think that's a good idea, Harmony."

Ouch.

"Okay..." I feel so humiliated that I could jump from a cliff right now and not regret it. "I-I am sorry, we should watch a movie instead—"

I get off him in a swift, and he bites his lower lip with an uncertain expression. I motion to reach for the laptop that somehow manages to be hanging off the bed now. A result of our heated make-out session.

As I am about to grab the device, Blaze grabs my wrist instead, and I turn my gaze to him.

"I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. I don't want to get too excited, that's all." He releases me, and his tone is serene. "I don't want to lose control because...I don't want to have sex with you."

I understand what he means. He respects me, and that is sweet and comforting. The more time I spend with him is the more my love for him grows.

I nod and smile a little. "Okay, I know. We can watch something you like instead...um, maybe a horror movie?"

I reach for the laptop again, and his hand is on mine once more. I bring my eyes to him.

"I want you to," he says softly, and my complexion now resembles an erupting volcano.

"I mean, you can touch me...if you still want to."

I gulp and nod my head, and suddenly the atmosphere feels flustered. Why did I suggest such a thing? This is unlike me. I am not sure how Blaze Xander manages to tear my walls down and build a castle of himself where it used to be. He defies my nature and my comfort zone.

If my mom knew what I am about to do right now, she would change her mind about me taking rides back to Homewood while Mr. Blake's son is present in the car.

He sits up against the headboard and pulls me gently with him.

"I'll tell you if I want you to stop...if it gets too much."

I smile. "Okay."

His teeth find his lip again, and the red tinges at the sides of his face don't go unnoticed.

I don't know where to begin as I sit in front of him. I have never done anything like this before, not even close. I have never even watched it in movies, mainly because when intimate scenes come on, I usually skip them or find a way to excuse myself. It always makes me so nervous, but here I am, being intimate in real life. It is way past nerve-wracking.

He realizes how ignorant and naive I am about doing this, and he tries to hide a smile as he pats the spot next to him.

"Come sit beside me."

I immediately oblige so that I am also leaning against the headboard.

"Give me your hand."

I do as he tells me, tension whirling within my abdomen, and with his hand guiding mine, he slips us under the band of his shorts and into his boxers. My fingertips graze something warm and rigid, and when I come to terms with what it is I am touching, my face becomes a furnace.

I swallow. Okay.

It's moving, contracting. My tiny palm doesn't cup him, and he notices this too, jerking his head to my opposite hand. "Use two hands."

I shift so I can put my other hand inside, and even with the addition, it's still a struggle to fit him properly. He moves our palms over his length, teaching me. He feels soft yet hard, and I feel as though I'll end up getting an orgasm from this situation more than he.

I take a deep breath, and I can feel my heart beating through my eardrums.

"Just do that, okay? I'll tell you when to stop," he whispers as his hand leaves mine.

I nod, now fearing doing this on my own. I don't have the confidence to pleasure him, but I keep my hands moving, hoping it'll be enough to get a reaction out of him.

And it is. He rolls his head back against the wall and closes his eyes, his breathing becoming a little labored. I worry if that reaction is a good sign or a bad one.

"Is-is this okay?" I ask timidly.

He nods. "Just keep doing that..."

There is a little superiority that comes with doing this. Knowing that you're in full control of a person's sensuality. It boosts your confidence and gives you some amount of power. Is this why people do these things? Is this why he always does this to me?

The side of his face vaguely lifts, and his eyebrows pull together. I figure I am now doing it wrong, so I slow my pace.

"A-Am I doing it right?"

"Y-yes. Keep going...please..."

His red lips part and I watch how beads of perspiration gather on his forehead. His uneven breathing tells me he's reaching somewhere, the same place he always takes me. I slowly increase my rhythm, and he bites his bottom lip as his hips slightly hoist off the bed.

"Fuck..."

"Am I hurting you?"

"No Harmony...shit...don't stop..."

I oblige, and soon an almost non-existent groan leaves his lips.

"I'm gonna cum, alright?"

I nod my head. "Okay."

I keep rubbing him, trailing my palms up and down, until he tenses up a bit. His member jerks under my hold, and then I feel something thick and hot running down my hands. Followed by another stream, and then another. I register that he has just reached his ecstasy point. He is a lot quieter and more composed than I am during an orgasm, just a small groan and clenched eyes.

His boxers are now a pool, and I am afraid to take my hands out.

He's breathing heavily with his head still laid up against the headboard. Seeming tired.

"Are you okay?" I ask skeptically. "Did...did you like it?"

He brings wornout eyes to me, and the corner of his lips quirk up in a breathtaking smirk. "Of course, I did...it was the most amazing experience of my entire life."

I am blushing, but it doesn't stop me from frowning. "I don't believe you at all. I bet Amber does that better."

He raises a brow. "Who's Amber?"

My lips separate in disbelief, and he just laughs and pulls me by my arm closer to him.

"The only girl I care about is Harmony Skye." He purrs and brushes his nose against mine. I close my eyes, unable to contain my smile.

He connects our foreheads as he whispers against my lips.

"My feelings for you are growing each day, Harmony. I have never loved a girl before, so I don't know what it's supposed to feel like...but whatever this is...this may just be it."

His confession leaves me awestricken, and I feel my heart stops for a moment. I want to say something, but I can't find my voice, and so I just smile against his lips and enjoy the silence.

••

"I have no idea why I can't find my turtleneck top." April pushes her hair back exhaustedly as she digs through the crowded closet in our room.

I am always so intrigued that April manages to have so many clothes here at Homewood; is she planning to live here forever? I barely took anything, but I don't have many clothes to begin with.

I must admit that her taste in fashion is impressive. When I first got here, I was surprised at how 'loud' she dresses. All her clothes expose large stretches of legs and chest. But now? They look nice on her, and when I really observe them, they aren't that indecent.

But I'd never wear them. I lack confidence.

"I am so mad right now." She crosses her arms and begins to throw a tantrum like a five-year-old.

I giggle. "Why don't I just lend you my top? I think I have a grey turtleneck in my suitcase." I suggest as I coil my legs underneath me on the bed.

April sighs and turns to me. "Thanks, Harmony, but I think our styles don't sync at all." She chuckles, and I can't help but laugh as well.

She's right. I dress like a nun.

She rests her hand on her waist. "I really wanted to wear it this evening."

"Um, what's happening this evening?" I tilt my head to the side.

"Second-years are having a concert; you should come, they'll be music, bands, and some other stuff."

And a crowd and possibly smoke. The thought is not appealing at all.

I scrunch my face up in disapproval and lay on my back. "I think I will pass...I have to study and—"

"Blaze will be there."

My body instantly raises like a zombie, and April chuckles. "I knew that'd make you reconsider."

"He will?"

"Yeah, it was his and some other guys in our year group's idea, so he'll certainly be there, he and stupid James." She turns back to her closet and continues her search.

I chuckle a little. I can't understand why she dislikes him. James is a cool guy, and he has never done anything to make me hate him or even think of hating him. He's just too goofy in a cute way.

"Why do you hate James so much? He seems nice..."

"Oh, I don't hate him at all." She begins. "It's just that he's annoying, and after that drunk incident with us last year, the only cope mechanism I have is to pretend I hate him..."

I am now curious. Drunk incident?

"What do you mean, what incident?"

She freezes for a while, probably in great surprise that she spilled so much to me. Her body rises and drops in a deep sigh, and then she reels to me.

"Um...well..." She walks over to where I am, and I shuffle over to give her space as she sits next to me on the bed.

She extends her pinky finger toward me. "Promise you won't tell anyone, not even the girls?"

I wrap mine around hers and nod. "Yeah, okay."

"Not even my cousin. Blaze can't know."

"Yeah. It's safe with me."

She pushes her hair back and chews on her lip, uncertainty written all over her face. After taking a deep breath, she begins to share.

"The truth is...James and I...we kind of had sex one time."

My eyes tear open, and I choke on absolutely nothing.

Wow...what?

I wasn't expecting that response at all. She appears to find him irritating, so imagining the two in a bed is quite baffling.

She sighs. "Yeah, I know it's surprising but it wasn't supposed to happen. I was in my first year, and we were at this party; James' party at his hometown. I was drinking, we were all drinking. I got pretty wasted, so I went upstairs to rest. It was James' room and he didn't know I was up there. Yuna, who was dancing like a lunatic all night, had thrown up all over my top, so I went to use his bathroom. I took it off to get the stain out, and then he walked right in. He was surprised to see me there in just my bra; I was too, but then...I don't know...we both were drunk, so we ended up kissing, and then it happened...shit, I was so stupid, right?"

It is odd being the one to give April advice. It's usually the reverse but even the great ones need help sometimes, and I am glad that finally, I can be of aid to her.

I shake my head. "Of course not. You both were drunk, so it's okay."

"Yeah, but a part of me knew what I was doing. I have no idea why I didn't stop."

"Hey, it's alright. Maybe he has forgotten about it. I mean he hasn't said anything about it to anyone."

April shakes her head. "Harmony, sex is not something that is easily forgotten. That's like a big step. And I am certain that he vividly remembers. I mean, the other night he texted me and this was what he said."

She pulls her cell from the nightstand and locates the message. She hands it to me, and I read the text.

I blink. "Okay. I guess you're right; he has definitely not forgotten about it."

I hand it back to her and sigh. "But look at the bright side; he respects you. He told no one about it."

She crosses her arms. "I hope he doesn't. That'd be so embarrassing; the girls would all laugh at me."

"Nah, James is cute and fun," I say. "There is no reason to feel bad. Did you guys talk about it, though?"

"No, not really. When I woke up naked beside him in the middle of the night while the party was still on downstairs, I literally kicked him off the bed. We both were sober then. He was shocked too, but he wasn't mad about it. I was, though."

"Don't worry, this will just be a phase of college and you both will look over it in the future."

She nods. "I hope so."

I smile. "I know so."

She offers one back, and a grateful gleam flashes in her eyes. "Thank you, Harmony; it's nice having a girl talk with you."

I shrug. "Don't mention it. I am happy to help. You're always helping me."

Her smile widens. "You're welcome. By the way, can I still borrow that grey top?"

I chuckle. "Of course, you can even borrow my entire wardrobe."

She laughs and shakes her head, wrinkling her nose. "You know, um, just the grey top is fine."

"I know. My fashion sucks." And we both laugh again.

April is like a big sister I never had. She is the second-best thing that has happened to me here at Homewood, Blaze Xander being the number one serendipity.

My experiences at this school have now taken a better turn than some days ago. Maybe my best college experiences begin here.

Well, at least I hope.