"What I'm desperate to feel is just out of my reach." —McKenna Breinholt.

••

"Are you feeling better?" April checks as we make our way from our dorm room to head to class.

It is Monday, and I would usually feel crabby on this day of the week. However, that isn't the case this morning. I am genuinely contented now that Blaze and I are back on the same page.

April took my stuff back for me while my mom drove me to Homewood yesterday. I was secretly disappointed about that, wanting to ride with Blaze instead. I saw that he wanted that too, but I didn't want to show any form of attachment to him with my mom being around. She sees everything, and I am still edgy about that moment she almost caught us canoodling on the hospital bed.

"Yeah, I am." I smile as April brings a hand up to rub my back comfortingly.

"Brilliant. We were all so worried about you yesterday. Especially Kite."

At the mention of his name, I writhe unnoticeably, deciding to ignore the discomfort it gives. "It was just a fever, so the doctor gave me some medicine."

"Well, thank God. I am glad you're fine."

"Good morning." A voice comes from behind us, paired with an arm coiling around my neck. "Special good morning to you, Harmony."

"Blaze, you don't creep up behind two walking females indulging in a conversation; you may get elbowed in the rib cage." April deadpans, and I chuckle softly.

He smells good. As if he just jumped straight out of the shower only seconds ago. I take in the scent of his deodorant as he pulls me closer to his side.

"I think I can take an elbow in the rib cage, considering I handled being burnt with a hot fork before."

That is sad but true...but very sad.

April and I trade sympathetic gazes, and Blaze sees the exchange and frowns. "Don't look at each other like that. I don't pity myself, so there is no need to pity me."

Among the students filing through the aisle, a lad is passing by us with a carton of muffins in his hands. Blaze removes his arm from around me, and April and I halt our strides as he reaches his hand over and grabs a cupcake from the box. The guy wearing huge spectacles looks at him disapprovingly.

"You can't. It's for my Scouts Club."

"Oh yeah? Well, pretend I am a part of it then." Blaze says before taking a bite out of the cake.

I scrunch my brows together, and the kid looks livid. I can tell he wants to say something else, but Blaze lifts his eyebrows challengingly, urging him to speak. Defeated, the boy looks away timidly and continues his journey down the hallway.

April swats Blaze's arm, and he winces. "That was a very 'bully' thing to do." She shakes her head, and I couldn't agree more. That was very mean.

"Bully? When since sharing becomes bullying?" He looks genuinely confused, and his cousin blows out a pitiful sigh.

"You are completely hopeless, Blaze Xander."

"I tell my Dad that every time." Is his retort, having no hint of remorse on his face.

"Anyway, see you two later, my class is this way." She points in the opposite direction, and I lift my hand in a wave as she walks away.

"Now to boring English. It'd be better if someone puts a rope around my neck and push me off a chair." Blaze stretches out the half-eaten cupcake to me, and I shake my head, giggling at his comment.

"I am okay. Mr. Jones was far worse; I beg to add."

"Why don't we skip school and go to my place? My Dad isn't there, and we could watch some horror—I mean romance movies, anything you like."

I smile softly at the suggestion. "When since you started liking romance movies?" I tilt my head, watching as his shoulders lift in a shrug.

"Since I saw how absorbed you were while watching it. The facial expressions you made were more interesting than the movie itself."

He eats the last of the muffin, and I smile softly. I had no idea he had been watching me that last time we watched that romance movie together. I am not a fan of skipping school but spending alone time with him is much too tempting to resist.

"Okay." I nod. "Let's do that."

His face brightens at this, and it's so breathtaking that I would probably skip school every day just to see this reaction. But of course, his handsome smiles won't help me to pass college, so skipping school today is enough. I won't do this again. At least, I'll try not to.

••

"I can be your hero, baby." Blaze is holding his chest dramatically while he sings the song 'Hero' by Enrique Iglesias. Apparently, he's in a crazy good mood.

I am giggling in my seat because he sounds awful, but at the same time, it's so entertaining. I had missed his horrible crooning in his car while his radio is booming—it makes me feel alive.

I recall that day he overheard me singing while I played the piano in the music room, and a part of the events that followed was him confessing that he'd pay to hear me sing any day. Well, it is pretty much the same thing for me. I would pay any money to listen to this incredibly bad singing.

He's rotating his waists in his seat—a bit too skillfully, and I watch him with an open mouth. "I can kiss away the rain."

I burst out laughing at his incorrect lyrics, and he looks over at me, all thirty-two teeth white and welcoming. "What?"

"It's 'I will kiss away the pain,' not rain, Blaze."

He laughs. "Pretty much the same thing."

"Yeah? How is it?"

"Okay, rain and pain are actually the same things. One's just literal, and one is...metaphorical."

My head tilts, and I am listening to his explanation.

"In movies, music, novels, and art, people perceive 'rain' as sadness because it's the gloomiest weather ever. The darkness indicates the dark period you are currently experiencing, and the raindrops are like tears. So the dark clouds, which are the dark times, bring raindrops, which are tears. Get it? So rain and pain is the same thing."

He has a very valid point; I have never really looked at it that way. I see where I could learn a few substantially non-sexual things from Blaze Xander.

"Okay, you win." I grin.

"Oh of course, baby, I never lose."

The nickname causes me to flush, but he doesn't notice this as he reaches over to turn his radio up.

"And I will stand by you, forever. You can take my breath away."

I smile softly.

If only he knew that he does, in fact, take my breath away.

I am bobbing my head to the rhythm, listening to his voice more so than the actual singer, when suddenly, the car comes to an abrupt halt as a scraping noise of what sounds like two metals colliding resonates in the air.

"Woah. What was that?" I look over at Blaze, who rolls his eyes at the vehicle on his left that presumably scraped against the side of his car.

He switches his radio off, and his jovial countenance switches to a dark one almost immediately.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," he mumbles as he opens his door and gets out. I undo my seatbelt to join him, looking through his tinted mirror to see him tapping on the window of the car next to us.

I make my way around to his side as he knocks again, his jaw firm. "Get out," he orders. The window is dark, so I can't see the person behind the wheels.

Examining Blaze's car, I realize that there is just a small scrape, nothing major, so maybe he could let this go?

"Blaze? It's just a small scratch. It's no big deal."

He taps again, ignoring my statement. The person finally gets out of the black BMW. A guy. He looks around our age or maybe a little younger, and he appears apologetic as he gazes at the unnoticeable damage he caused.

"I am so sorry. I dozed off for a minute." He says, and I can tell that he's being sincere, judging by the humble guilt written all over his face.

My gaze softens, but Blaze narrows his eyes and jams his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, okay...but what the fuck are you going to do about my car?"

I wince. Why is he being so mean? It's just a small scratch.

"I..." The boy swallows. "I don't have much money—"

"Dude." Blaze shuts his eyes, and I watch as his temples tense. "I really don't give a shit. I just need you to fix my car."

"I—I would have to call my insurance company; I don't have much money on me. I go to Gaston's High school, I only have—"

"Blaze." I pull his arm. "He is probably a minor; just let it go."

"Don't your parents have money?" He hauls his bicep from me. "You're driving this car here, so it shouldn't be a problem to fix my car."

"I swear, I have no money." The guy looks like he's on the verge of panicking, and I step forward. "It's okay, kid; you can go."

Blaze shoots me a glare, but I don't look at him.

The guy nods to me in respect and quickly opens his car door. He shuffles in fast and speeds away down the street.

"Seriously, Harmony?" I hear Blaze say from behind me.

I turn to him. "I will pay for the scratch." I begin to dip into my pocket, and he hisses and runs a hand over his face.

"I don't want your money. That was not your business to intervene."

"He's a kid. He's probably around seventeen. He said he had no money, and he said he was sorry."

Blaze snickers dryly as he shakes his head, and I stare at him grimly, wondering why he's being such a jerk.

"Do you think sorry solves anything, Harmony?"

I narrow my eyes.

"Sorry doesn't. If it did then why would there be policemen or the law? Why would there be the word 'punishment' and 'penalty' in the dictionary? Sorry is just a word. Sorry doesn't put broken pieces back together. It doesn't make things the way they once were, and it certainly solves nothing."

"You can't live like that. You cannot live this way, Blaze."

"Well...that's how I live. Stop acting like you don't know that."

I stare at him. He's probably having a bipolar episode or perhaps this is just his ASPD talking. He lacks compassion and empathy for people, and I know he's not doing it intentionally. Now that I know his health condition, I can easily understand why he's acting this way. It doesn't offend me like it's supposed to.

I sigh. "Let's just stop talking about this, okay? Do you still want to watch the movie at your place? Let's just go."

I move to walk away when he grasps my hand. I look at him, and the muscles in his face soften slowly. "You...you still want to hang around me after what just happened?"

I nod. "Well yeah, I do." I smile a little.

His lips stretch faintly, and his eyes sparkle with an emotion that I can't quite explain. It isn't a bad one, though; I can tell that much.

"Come on." I shrug. "Are you coming or—"

He pulls me against his chest suddenly, silencing my utterance as he wraps his arms tightly around me. I am taken aback by the sudden act of affection as I melt against his torso. He kisses my hair, and a sigh leaves his lips. A sigh of contentment.

"I will do better." He whispers. "I will be a better person for you, Harmony..."

I smile softly and close my eyes as my arms come up to wrap tightly around him.

"I know, Blaze...I know."