"Watch me as my world burns down. You kicked me down and stole my crown. Though my heart is telling me to go, I just gotta let you know that you sunk my ship and then you let me drown." —Boy In Space.

••

I break away from Kite's embrace and take a step back. His expression immediately becomes bleak as he swallows down the rejection.

"I need some time," I mutter.

His mouth opens to say something, but I am already turning away to leave the deck.

I spent the rest of the day in the hotel suite. There are two beds in the room, so April and I share the space while Yuna and Tia stay in another billet.

I felt awful that Kite paid for my stay here, yet I am unable to reciprocate his feelings. And so I decided that I would leave and head back to Homewood. I went as far as to pack my stuff, but then April persuaded me not to go because she thinks running away from my problems won't solve it. I tried to assure her that it is not an act of running away but more of a need to not be indebted to anyone. Somehow she convinced me to stay with her, and I came to the conclusion that the ability to coax others obviously runs in their gene.

When everyone left the event at about eight in the night, the girls and I spent some time at my quarters talking and painting our nails. It made me feel a little better, but occasionally my thoughts would regress to Blaze. April could tell, and she would attempt to crack a joke or attempt to speak to me so that I could stop thinking about him. It helped, but only temporarily.

••

It's around midnight when April finally steps out of the bathroom after quite a long shower. She glances over at me, who's lying on my stomach with my head pressed against the pillows. Yuna and Tia went back to their room some while ago, leaving me all alone with my crippling thoughts.

Applying some skin lotion onto her arms, she saunters over to me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." I mumble.

We both know that I'm not.

She sighs and doesn't say anything. She's probably unsure of what else to say, and how can I blame her? I have nothing left to say either. Blaze wants nothing to do with me, and that's the fact of it all.

Earlier this evening, I managed to explain to her what happened between Blaze and me. She told me he spoke with her about Kite kissing me and advised me that he is only scared of commitment. That didn't make the situation any better and just made me feel far worse.

She plods across the room to her bed and crawls under the covers, shifting onto her side so she can look at me.

"Hey, you'll be fine tomorrow, I promise, alright?"

I nod, but deep down, I know that it won't be possible. The heartache only worsens at each second that passes by. Maybe it's because he's my first love why I have fallen this hard, but I never knew falling in love, an emotion rumored to be the most blissful thing, would be this painful and agonizing.

She extends her hand toward the bedside lamp and turns the lights out. "Get some sleep, okay, Harmony? Stop thinking about Blaze."

I nod my head weakly, afraid that I'll start crying again if I were to respond vocally.

In no time, April falls asleep, and I am left in the dark, staring at the grey curtains draped over the closet in front of me.

I am alone with my thoughts now, and it's the scariest feeling.

Maybe I need some air?

I try to be as quiet as possible as I sit up in bed, swinging my legs over the side and cringing when the mattress creaks beneath my body. Stilling in my position, I bring my head around to glance at April, sighing in relief when she is still fast asleep.

I slip my feet in my pair of sandals and make my way out of the room, gently closing the door behind me. The halls are quiet as I roam my way through until I've wandered down to the pool decks.

The glow from the moonlight glistens in the blue waters, and the area is a lot more beautiful when there isn't a party being kept.

Peace. I haven't felt that in a while. I was once this quiet and introverted person. I wasn't in love with anyone and thus, was free from the unbearable pain that comes with it. Now my heart belongs to someone, and I couldn't feel emptier in my entire lifetime.

I sit down on the edge of the deck and hang my feet over in the cold waters. I gaze up at the sky, finding comfort in the small beads of light dotting it.

It makes me a little heartened to know that my dad is up there watching over me. I cannot help thinking about how relaxing it'd be if he was alive and here with me. He would be the perfect person to talk to about my feelings for Blaze. My mom is not someone you can talk to about these things; she will begin her lecture on why she had thought it wise to have become a nun.

My eyes stray to how cool and refreshing the pool is, and I realize that I didn't get the chance to have a swim today because so much had been going on.

I should have just put on my bathing suit before leaving my room, although the matching pink underwear set I am currently wearing is not far from one. It's really late now, and everyone is obviously asleep; a little swim will not hurt. I pull my T-shirt over my head and slide my shorts off.

I climb down into the pool, and the cold waters instantly make me shiver. It stops above my chest, and I inhale a deep breath as goosebumps present themselves on my skin. Pinching my nose between my fingers, I lower my body further into the pool and go for a dive in the deeper end.

There is something peaceful and calm about being underwater. The world is quiet, and you feel as though you're the only inhabitant of the earth.

No worries.

No cares.

No stress.

For once, I am not focused on Blaze but consumed by the heavenly feeling the water offers.

But that bliss quickly turns to horror when I feel a throbbing cramp in my leg.

It has been a while since I last swam, so without a doubt, my muscles must be tight. I should have done some warm-ups before getting in, but the need to escape from my thoughts must have clouded all my common sense.

I thump the spot while attempting not to sink beneath, but the spasm only worsens, spiking fear and anxiety within me.

My chest is now tight from lack of oxygen, and water forces its way through my nostrils as I fight to reach fresh air. However, the muscle knot in my leg just won't allow me, only pulling me further down at each effort I make.

I can feel as my body grows tired from the struggle, and I slowly begin to succumb to a state of unconsciousness.

I can't die like this. This is the silliest way to die.

Will someone save me? Maybe not. The whole resort is asleep by now. Maybe this is fate; dying by drowning is better than dying from a broken heart, isn't it?

But then suddenly, the water parts as someone tears through the deep blue toward my sinking body.

I can't see who it is because my vision is slowly becoming blurry, but as they rush to my drowning figure, I make out a mop of dark hair. My eyes slowly close, and I slip into a pit of blackness.

••

I pull myself out of the pool with Harmony curled into my arms unresponsively.

It is frightening to think about what would happen if I had not been watching her the minute she left her room.

I had been twisting and turning in bed for almost an hour, and after trying to watch an episode of Boruto on my cell, I gave into my thoughts and put the phone aside, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about her.

Her sinless smile. Her contagious laugh, and how her entire face reddens whenever she cries. Guilt was tearing me apart, and I felt awful for kissing her, touching her, and then expecting her to move past it all as if none of it happened. I am quite experienced in the field of intimate affairs but never had I ever felt this bothered after breaking things off with a girl. Normally it'd be an easy task, as simple as reciting the letters of the alphabet, but things are just not that way with Harmony.

A few minutes had passed, and I was still unable to fall asleep, so I got up out of bed, threw a T-shirt on, and chose to go out for a walk.

As soon as I exited the suite, I caught a glimpse of the girl raiding my mind as she broke the corner of the hallway to descend the stairs. I quietly shut my room door and decided to trail far behind her.

I slid my palms in the pockets of my shorts as I watched her sit down on the edge of the deck. She lifted her head to stare up at the stars, and I wondered what could have been going through her mind at that moment.

Leaning my side against the wall, I observed her as she shifted against the deck then began to take her clothes off, oblivious to the audience she was receiving. Quietly clearing my throat to get rid of the huge lump formed there, I shifted in discomfort as her shapely body became open to my view.

The pink bra and underwear covering her nudity were doing a measly job at hiding her most private areas. My junior sprung alive, and I looked away for a second before pulling my gaze back to her, witnessing as the silver moonlight glistened on her creamy skin. She placed her garments in a pile on the deck before she climbed down into the waters.

She went for a dive in the deeper end of the pool, and after a while, she failed to return to the surface. Fear rose within me, and I plodded over to the edge of the deck, peering over and noticing that she appeared to have been struggling beneath.

My heart has never raced this much in ten years as I lay her soaked body against the cold ground. I hover above her still figure, my wet hair dripping onto her face as I gently pat her cheek.

"Harmony!"

No response.

"Harmony, come on."

Breathing heavily, I bring my head to her chest to check her heartbeat. Luckily, it is still pumping, and I place two of my fingers beneath her nose.

She's hardly breathing. She's hardly fucking breathing. Shit.

Anxiety overwhelms me as I gesture to pump her chest, but her smooth breasts are visible from the bra she is wearing. My face reddens, and I have no idea why I am here acting like a fucking virgin when she's on the verge of dying. Blowing my cheeks out, I place one palm over the other and press repeatedly, ignoring the feel of her soft chest beneath my hands.

"Harmony, come on, come on, Harmony."

I put two fingers at her neck and discover a steady but slow rhythmical beat. My hands begin to shake from fear.

"Fuck...Harmony, come on." I begin to pump her chest again. "Come on, baby. Wake up, please..."

I pinch her nose between my fingers and lower my lips onto hers. I breathe into her mouth then pump her chest again. Repeating the procedure over and over. When I see no progress, my eyes begin to sting with worry.

I can't fucking lose her.

"Fuck...please wake up." I put my lips over hers again, transferring my breath into her mouth. I sit up and place my palms on her torso, pressing with much more force than before.

And then she begins to respond as her brows knit together slightly. My forehead smooths out as she begins to cough up water, tilting her head to the side as her chest convulses.

My forehead puckers, and I sigh in relief as she slowly tries to open her eyes. Her face is screwed up and she can hardly seem to make out my image.

My anxiety alleviates as I pull her tightly into my arms, shutting my eyes as something wet slides from beneath my eyelid. It feels warm, but it could just be water from the pool.

Her breathing slowly returns to normal as I strengthen my arms around her, pressing my face into her wet hair and silently thanking her for waking up. If I lost her, I would have lost myself too.

The feeling is divine when her body finally relaxes against my soaked T-shirt, but not long after, her figure grows stiff and she fiercely shoves me away from her.

I fall back onto my palms as my gaze softens.

"Don't touch me," she grumbles.

Her expression is wan as she tries to get up, almost falling over her feet as she does. I pull myself up quickly to grip her arm to keep her steady. "Be careful, Harmony."

"Do not touch me, Blaze!" She shrieks at me, pushing my hand away.

Sorrow shines in her eyes, and I know it's my fault. I did this to her. I broke her.

My brows form a loose frown. "I am sorry, Harmony."

"Are you?" Tears roll down her face. "You are not sorry. You're fine without me. I can tell."

Fine without her? She has no idea how crazy this is driving me.

She gropes her forehead and screws her face up. Concern spans over my features, and I take a step closer to her. "Are you okay?"

I notice she steps back as if being close to me will hurt her far more.

"You look unwell. I am worried about you."

"Don't worry about me, go to that girl you slept with!" She says.

I tilt my head to the side quizzically as she turns away to leave.

"Girl I slept with? What are you talking about, Harmony?"

She ignores my question and continues to grope her forehead while she staggers away from me. Her strides are unsteady and limped, and I stay close behind her.

"Harmony, let me—"

She loses her footing and begins to fall backward. I quickly reach my arms out to catch her. Her head rests against my chest, and I turn her body around and hold her close to my torso. I raise my finger and rest it beneath her nose. She's still breathing, thank God.

I position one of my hands behind her back while the other snakes around her leg, lifting her into my arms and taking her up to my room.

~

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