"I've watched those eyes light up with a smile, river in the not good times. Oh, you taught me all that I know. I've seen your soul grow just like a rose made it through all of those thorns, girl into the woman I know. And it's killing me to say I'm fine, when I really mean to say that you're my all and more and all I know you taught me." —Lauv.

°°

~Previously on Rescue My Drowning Heart.

Harmony wakes up with swollen eyelids after crying all night about what happened with Blaze. She is pulled to the cafeteria by Kite where Blaze flirts with a girl. Harmony gets jealous and emotional and storms out of the cafeteria crying.

Find Out More Below!

••

Regret.

Embarrassment.

Disappointment.

Those aren't even half of the emotions I am currently experiencing. When they told me to stay away from him, this was what they were protecting me from. This agonizing sensation in my chest as if someone's tearing my heart out of its position.

I am crying unrestrainedly in one of the bathroom cells when I hear footsteps enter the cramped room followed by the concerned voice of April.

"Harmony?"

I don't wish to talk right now—to anyone at all. When I close my eyes, the only thing I am seeing is Blaze and his new-found subject of adoration.

"Come on, Harmony, talk to me," she pleads.

She trails the sounds of my unmuffled sobs and locates my stall in no time. She knocks gently on the door before her soft tone travels through the tight creases. "I am coming in, okay?"

Without waiting for a response that may never come, she thrusts the cubicle door open. Her expression dulls at the horrendous state I am in, sitting on the tiled floor with my head on my arms and warm tears drenching my skin.

"Harmony, what's wrong?"

Unable to form dialect, I continue to wail into my hands, my small frame shuddering at each cry that escapes me.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

I lift my head from its hanging position but press my palms over my eyes immediately, hoping it'll stop the excretions. I am struggling to breathe, and if I continue at this rate my asthma may erupt.

"I-I-it's Blaze..." I manage to mutter through violent body jerks and whimpers.

She squats down to my level, and luckily she understood my gibberish. "What about him? What did he do?"

"He..." I can hardly speak, but April is patient and consoling as she watches me.

"He... I..." I hold my forehead and give up trying to communicate; the grieve won't let me.

Sympathy is engraved on her flawless face, and she rubs my back comfortingly as she exhales. "Do you want us to talk about it at the dorm?"

I nod my head, and she helps me to stand.

••

By the time I am finished telling April everything, I am a crying mess. My face is red and wet while my eyes and nose are flushed and swollen.

She looks quite mortified but not confounded as she pushes her long hair back and takes a deep breath. It's obvious she knew this would happen, and I was the idiot to not listen to her. To not listen to anyone.

"So, you said you guys didn't have sex, right?"

I shake my head as I wipe my eyes, but the stupid tears just won't stop falling. "We didn't, we kissed and then...actually...I kind of...wanted him to..."

It is kind of embarrassing to tell her that I implied for us to have sex, but her face isn't one of judgment though; she's just nodding her head encouragingly while she listens.

"But he turned me down. He said he couldn't do it because he felt guilty."

"Wait." April raises her palm, and she looks alarmed. "Did you just say he said he felt guilty?"

I nod my head. "Yeah... what?"

She's looking at me as if I just told her that I could walk on water, and it's sparking my curiosity.

"Blaze can't feel those emotions, so that's very odd of him to say," she mentions.

"What do you mean?"

She moves closer to me on the bed as if she's about to tell me her darkest secret.

"I don't want to tell you everything because that is his secret to share, but Blaze can't feel emotions like guilt, love, trust, or care. It is kind of hard to explain, but he feels emotions like sadness and anger when it is geared at himself, but he can't feel it for anyone or anything else. He experiences a little bit of happiness, but emotions that make humans empathetic and humanitarians are non-existent for him. He's not doing it on purpose, trust me. He can't help it. But the fact that he refused to have sex with you and said he felt guilty is something to look into. It is really weird."

Blaze is incapable of feeling certain emotions? Well, he did tell me something like that, but hearing it from April just confirms the whole thing. That kind of makes me see him in a whole new light now, from a different perspective, and I am suddenly feeling a small tinge of guilt after leaving without hearing him out last night.

"Um, why can't he feel those emotions?" I skeptically ask.

She gives me an unsure expression while she scratches her forehead. "I am sorry, but maybe he should tell you that himself. It is a huge secret of his."

I nod. I respect her loyalty and respect toward her cousin. Mal was right, she certainly loves him a lot but that is absolutely not a bad thing.

I smile at her, and she trails her fingers through my curls. "You're too pretty to cry. What happens in the Caf means nothing, alright?"

"Is she his girlfriend?" I inquire timidly. I don't want to know the answer, but it sure is taunting my mental space.

April shakes her head. "No. Plus, they didn't do anything last night. I stopped there first before I came here and there wasn't a girl over. James was at the dorm all night and they won't sleep with a girl if their roommate is present; the space is small and lacks privacy."

I feel a splash of relief; thank God. But that doesn't cancel out the fact that we aren't on good terms anyway.

"You see, Harmony, Blaze is very good at revenge. He's quite vindictive. If someone gets on his bad side, he tends to try to get back at them. I think he's just trying to pull your leg, don't read into it."

I nod my head.

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No!" I reject the offer so quickly that poor April is taken aback. I don't want to seem pathetic or as if I am pining for him. Although my breaking down and chasing out of the cafeteria is already so dramatic.

"I'll just give him some space," I tell her.

She smiles and nods. "Okay, I guess that would be best then."

I look down at my fingers quietly, and she sighs, resting a palm on my shoulder and squeezing it gently. "Cheer up. I know what will make you feel better."

I wipe my eyes again and look up to see her grinning with excitement. "What?"

"Tomorrow we won't be having classes because the lecturers will be having this stupid seminar thing, so tonight the second years are having a bonfire hang-out night. You should come."

I can't seem to understand how April can attend social gatherings on school nights. I know she said we won't have classes tomorrow but isn't she going to be whipped from being at classes all day today?

But I think chilling outside of the dorms with the girls is far better than staying in. I am quite depressed after Blaze flirted with that chick earlier. I think I need a breather.

I smile. "Okay. I will surely come."

"Awesome!" She jumps up from her spot on the bed. "Let me find you something to wear!" She plods across to the closet in our room, and I smile a little.

I admire April a great deal. She's this confident and strong person, and even after warning me countless times she still lends a listening ear without judgment. I think if I had told her everything from the start I would not have been in this heartbroken position.

••

Before I came to Homewood, I had everything planned out. Spend my days at the library, complete all my assignments on time and ahead of time, steer far from college boys, and keep in my own lane. But now? A lot of the things I had planned is out the door.

My assignments are still given in on time and I am still acing my tests, but I haven't been at the library in a while and in place of that, here I am, on my way to a bonfire night-out with April and the girls. This is oddly everything I did not plan for.

The night air is so freezing that I can't even feel my earlobes as we tread onto the field. The heat from the bonfires as we approach the gathering makes me feel a tad better, and I tuck my cold hands into the pockets of my sweater. The field is colder than other parts of the school; the reason is that there is this big forest behind it.

The music is madly loud and chatters from college kids chilling around compete with the deafening stereo.

"Where is Blaze?" Tia asks as her brown eyes search the wide area.

The sound of his name makes my heart sidestep for a second. April looks at me, and she can tell that I am starting to second think even coming out here. She tucks her arm in mine, probably realizing that I am close to making a U-turn back to the dorms.

"Hey, April! Over here!" James's voice draws our attention to where they are stationed at the back of the field, sitting around a blazing bonfire.

Through the sweltering flames, I catch sight of Blaze's silhouette, but to my complete dismay, he has a girl sitting between his legs—a different one than the broad thigh supermodel at lunch.

I can't. I should just go back.

"I'll be at the dorms," I tell April, but she shakes her head and grasps my arm, gently pulling me back.

"No. Don't. You can't keep running away from your fears, Harmony."

She is right, but can I just hide away from it all for tonight? Blaze is taking his little 'revenge' too far and I can't take it.

"He has a girl between his legs," I mutter.

"Suzie Mattfeild? He doesn't even like her; let's go." She tugs me along with her as they journey over to where they are, and I duck my head as we get closer, suddenly finding interest in the small gravels beneath my feet.

April told me this was supposed to make me feel better but I am feeling far worse. Why did she take me out here knowing that Blaze will also be present? This is not a cheer-up. This is a cheer-down.

"Harmony, sweetheart!" James purrs; I can tell he's partially drunk as he spreads his arms widely. "You look... splendid!"

He sways unsteadily to the side, knocking into Blaze who uses his elbow to nudge him away with a face of annoyance.

I begin to imagine what would happen if James bounced them so hard that the mahogany-haired girl sitting between Blaze's lap gets thrown headway into the blazing bonfire.

God, my thoughts are so sinful; when did I become this person?

I try not to look at the guy who broke my heart as I sit down on the large rug placed on the grass, crossing my ankles underneath me. But it is difficult to avoid his eyes when he is sitting right in front of me—approximately two feet away.

I uphold my gaze on the crackling flames, but I can hear him saying something to the girl who keeps giggling and uttering: "stop it, Blaze" like an infatuated twelve-year-old.

"Yo! Yo!" A voice comes from behind me, and I strain my neck to look up. Kite waves a hand in greeting to the group, and there is a guy with short golden hair standing next to him, chewing gum in his mouth.

Kite is dressed in an oversized black sweater with Jaxton University imprinted on the front. Without even realizing, I begin to mentally compare his attire to Blaze's grey hoodie that has two large mechanical guns animated on it. I am not a gun person, but I think I like what Blaze is wearing better. Sigh. I am hopeless.

Kite finds a seat beside me and the friend he took along with him goes to sit beside Tia. He says something to her and she smacks his shoulder and begins to laugh, and I am guessing they know each other. Apparently, I am the only one here who feels weird and out of place.

"Hey, Harmony." Kite inclines his head toward me, flashing me a lopsided smirk.

I smile. "Hey."

At the corner of my eyes, I sight when Blaze's eyes turn up to watch us, but I can't tell what his expression is like.

April is smiling softly while she reaches for a cold beer from the open igloo next to her.

"You're here often when you clearly don't go to this University." The icy voice comes from across us.

I lift my eyes to see that it was Blaze who had spoken. His vocalization makes the hair on my arms stand up, or maybe it is the dark gleam currently consuming his orbs. I take the opportunity to look at the girl between his lap and realize that she kinds of resembles a squirrel—in all honesty.

"Well yeah." Kite shrugs. "Especially since Harmony is here."

I look over at him, and he winks an eye at me.

Blaze snickers mirthlessly and everyone pulls their gazes to him.

"Well, count on her to stick by you through thick and thin."

Ouch.

I slump my vision to my thighs, and if I said those words didn't hurt—I'd be lying.

"You two had a thing?" Kite asks, reclining onto the flat of his palms.

"Well—"

"No, we didn't." I cut in.

It's not a lie, Blaze and I didn't have anything. He is a stranger that I know absolutely nothing about, who used his famous charm to kiss me and touch me when those precious gifts could have been for someone else. I get that he's mad because I didn't hear him out last night, but he's going too far.

He is now looking at me and I stare back at him daringly.

"Oh, are you sure we didn't have anything, Harmony?" He taunts, a corrupted smirk rising on his face.

Why is he doing this?

My pulse begins to race. Is he trying to publicize what happened between us? He is pulling my leg way too far.

"Yeah. We had nothing. We just danced at a party one night." I say vengefully. "But unfortunately, I liked Kite's dance so much better."

"Oooooh, ouch." The guy who came along with Kite holds his mouth in amusement, and the girls' eyes are wide open, including April's.

Did I just say that?

I swallow. I shouldn't have, right?

Blaze's jaws tighten as he glares at me, and then his lips curve up into a devilish simper.

Okay. I really shouldn't have.

"Really, Harmony? Well, that's funny, considering you didn't say that the night when I made you cu—"

"Blaze, don't." April raises her palm to stop him. She shoots him a warning gaze, and he takes a deep breath and turns his face away. For a second he looks hurt, and I am overwhelmed with remorse. I really shouldn't have said that.

Kite smiles. "You liked that dance? Maybe we could do it again sometimes."

I force a smile, but I am too busy wallowing in my self-guilt to keep my lips stretching for long.

The circle grows quiet for a while then the golden-haired guy claps his hands together and sits up straighter. "Okay. I hate this tension, so let's play truth or dare!"

"Come on, really?" The girl whose head is perched against Blaze's thigh scrunches her face up. "That's so seventh grade."

"Then don't play, simple." The lad tells her, and I want to hug him and give him an award.

"My name's Dustin. In case anyone is wondering," he says as he reaches behind him for an empty beer bottle. He smiles widely and wiggles his eyebrows. "And let the games begin!"