Okay, I'm so sorry that it took this long before I was able to update. But I was able to mash this mess of words up and now here it is.

I'm sorry about the title. I don't think that it is much relevant to the chapter but I suck at giving titles so *shrugs*

Just a head up, this is long, the length is equivalent to two chapters. I hope that this will turn out well.

Enjoy!

*****

"Will you let me in?" I stood there, not moving from my place as he stared at me with those bright, hopeful, turquoise eyes. He's nervous, if I were to judge from the way his body was rigid and stiff as a board as he stood in front of me.

I didn't say anything. Silence was hanging over us as we stared at each other, him waiting for my response to allow him inside. What was he doing here? How can he act so casually after the shit that happened last night between him and his twin?

Still not in the mood to talk, I instead used the moment to take in the sight in front of me, eyeing him from head to toe. He was wearing a black trench coat and what seems like a pair of black skinny jeans, mittens, bonnet, with a dark blue scarf wrapped around his neck and hiding his mouth; appropriate clothes for protecting himself from the cold weather. A shade of pink was visible on his nose and cheeks—most probably because of the cold—making him look like he's blushing. He stood still the whole time I observed him, worry visible on his face as I took my time examining him with a blank expression on my face.

When I finished examining him, I looked up to meet his gaze head on. In that moment, I couldn't help but appreciate the way swarm of gold flickered in his irises, making it shine a little more. Eren's eyebrows furrowed as the span of silence between us lengthened, the staring contest I unknowingly started getting more intense in each second that passed by.

After a good minute or so, Eren sighed, closing his eyes as he took a few deep breaths, composing himself in the process. When he opened his eyes again, he looked at me in all seriousness, looking determined. Opening his mouth, he was supposed to speak when I cut him off.

"Why are you here?" My voice came out sounding blank, making Eren wince visibly. It made the determined look on his face falter before he once again composed himself, looking more determined than he did before.

"I went here to take a visit-"

"I'm not ill. As you can see, I'm in perfect condition. Thank you and you can go."

I know that I sounded like an asshole but after what happened last night, I am far from ready to face any of the two of them. Not now, not for the next coming days. I need time to think, to decide and to choose between the two of them before I can see them in order to fix every single thing that I fucked up. Before fixing it becomes too late.

Taking a step back, I was supposed to turn my back when his hand grabbed my arm, keeping it held tightly in his hand. I looked from his hand before my eyes travelled to his face, seeing the same determination reflected on it. His eyebrows furrowed more when I tried to get my hand freed from his, his grip tightening more in response.

"Levi. I'm not here to joke around. I went here because it's your birthday. I want you to enjoy it. I want to spend the day with you." The tone of his voice was a bit stern, his eyes placed on me and it successfully pinned me at my place. I can't believe how much control those eyes had over me. I don't know whether or not I should hate it or what.

Scowling at him, I jerked my arm away, this time successfully freeing my hand from his grip. I let my arm fall to my side, my scowl still on my face.

"Do you think that I can fucking enjoy this day after what happened last night? Are you fucking dumb?" I shook my head, my gaze falling to the ground, letting out a humorless chuckle. "You're hopeless."

"But it's your birthday! And it's Christmas! What I want is for you to forget about your problems even it it's just for a day but you're making it harder for the two of us!"

I scoffed, my eyes narrowing at him. "Forget about my problems? Let me ask you this. Who is the one who started this shitfest?"

A hurt expression now rested on Eren's face like he just got stabbed by me. Shit, I know that what I did is a dick move. I shouldn't have said that. When will this stupid mouth stop spouting out whatever I'm thinking? Suddenly, I felt my throat dried before I forced out my words.

"Sorry. I didn't mean that." I looked away, feeling ashamed. There are times that being so fucking blunt wouldn't help you and will get you into so much fucking trouble.

"Levi." The way Eren said my name made me look back at him, surprised. The stern tone his voice held earlier was gone, replaced by a soft one, almost as if he's talking to a child. He was looking at me, the corner of his lips lifted up to form a small smile, the corner of his eyes a little bit wrinkled, his eyes having a kind of fond look in it. As I look at him, my heart clenched in ways that only him can trigger.

"It's okay. You don't need to say sorry." Lifting his right hand up, he moved it until it was hovering over my cheek but decided to put it back down before it came in contact with me. His hand fall back to his sides, clenching and unclenching, and to me it looked as if he's doing it to refrain himself from touching me.

In some way, watching him controlling himself around me brought a bitter taste to my tongue. He's known for being a stubborn, hot-headed and hard-headed bastard, so it wasn't like him to act so careful. It made him look like he was walking on eggshells, something that never went along the name Eren Yeager.

Sighing, he continued talking. "I know that it's my fault and I still blame myself everyday for hurting you. But I can't stay away from you, Levi. Hell, I know that going here after what happened last night- which is also my damn fault- is not a good idea, but I can't help it. I want to see you. I miss being with you, Levi. But it looks like I should just go home." He looked as if he's waiting for me to answer, to tell him that it's alright to stay, that I'm happy to see him, but I didn't. I stayed silent, not having any idea about what kind of expression my face bore because of the way my emotions are once again a mess.

Due to the lack of answer, he smiled at me again but this time, it's sad. The hope his eyes held earlier was extinguished all thanks to me and my silence. All that's left pooling in his eyes are sadness and longing. Making his decision, Eren let out a sigh before turning his back to me, disappointment evident on his face.

I know that I shouldn't let him be with me. I know that it'd be best if I'll just let him go. Watch him walk away from me, walk away from our past no matter how hard it was for him, for the both of us. Then maybe, just maybe, choosing Rein over him will be much more easier. But as I stood at my doorway, watching him walk away from me, I couldn't bear it. My heart is longing for him, for his presence, for his scent and warmth. No matter how much denial I put myself into, I couldn't let him go.

So without any more thoughts, I ran, following him as he made his way back to his car. Just when he was about to open his car's door, I grabbed his coat, halting him. I didn't mind the cold weather. All I could focus on was to stop him from walking away from me again.

He looked back to me, watching me in confusion. He was about to speak when I cut him off again. "Don't."

"What?" His confusion was reflected well by the tone of his voice. I looked up to see his face, his eyebrows furrowed with his lips pressed in a thin line, but underneath that I saw a sliver of hope lighten up in his eyes.

"Stay." I didn't believe that one word could pull such a big reaction from someone but looking at Eren, I was proven wrong. In an instant he brightened up, a huge grin blossomed on his lips. It made my heart melt, becoming putty just at the sight of his smiles, smiles that I missed seeing on his face.

I turned on my heel and started walking back to my house when I heard him say, "Thank you. Thank you so much, Levi."

I didn't reply, but hearing those words from him made a small smile show on my lips.

*****

"Where are you planning to to take me?"

We are currently in his car, Eren driving us to some place that he didn't bother telling me earlier. I was sitting rather silently in the passenger seat, keeping my eyes fixed on the window as some random songs come out of the car's radio. However, I was looking at him now, waiting for an answer.

"Just wait for it, Levi. I have a feeling that you'll like it there." I didn't argue. I stayed silent after that, letting the songs from the radio fill the silence between us. The silence was comfortable, putting me in the most comfort that I ever felt for the past few weeks.

I couldn't believe that after everything that happened, I would find myself sitting inside Eren's car just how I used to before. To say that I didn't miss it would be nothing but denial because I did miss it. I missed going to places with him, missed spending our time out. I miss being with him.

Still, that doesn't mean that I could be with him. Not without thinking through this more.

The trip only took an hour and a half. When I looked out I saw a large building, with some kids playing outside. I looked at Eren and confusion took over me when I saw him turned the ignition off and started unbuckling his belt.

"Where are we?" I couldn't help but voice out my confusion. I have a clue of where we currently are, but as to why and what we're doing here, I don't have any damn idea.

"We're taking a visit here," he said in a tone that sounds like he's stating the most obvious thing in the world. When he was done unbuckling his seatbelt, he went out and went to my side of the car. I, however, didn't do anything, still dumbfounded by the place he chose to spend our day at.

He opened the car door and waited for me to come out. Despite my confusion, I unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped out, watching when he closed the door before taking his guitar from the backseat.

"Hand me your phone." He held out an open hand to me, waiting for me to give him my phone. I took it out and placed it on his palm, watching him as he turned it off and pocketed it.

I looked up from where he hid my phone to his face, a frown resting on my face. "What the fuck was that for?"

Eren also took his phone out, doing the same thing as he did to mine before hiding it. He then looked at me. "I want this day to be spent with only the two of us. Let's forget about the others. I want to get away and you're the only person I want to be with. So I'll ask you, Levi. Forget about the world with me, even just for today."

His eyes gleamed with affection as he told me those words. I also want to get away. I'm tired. I want to forget everything and just be happy.

And so I smiled, nodding at him. "Okay."

The smile on his face almost made me melt despite the cold of the winter.

Soon, I found myself following him as he guided me towards the building, the children playing outside stopped playing and started calling his name at the sight of him walking to them.

"Eren!"

"Big brother Eren is here!"

Breaking my gaze away from the children, I looked at Eren, and I was surprised by the sight that welcomed me. He was wearing a big smile, one of the most genuine smiles that I ever saw painted on his lips. He waved at the children before starting to walk faster, leaving my sorry short ass behind.

The children ran towards him, waving and clinging onto him. Eren laughed and picked one of the children up, ruffling their hair while some of them are asking to be carried. I didn't know that I stopped following him while I watched the scene in front of me. Seeing him around kids, laughing and looking happy, made warmth blossomed in my chest. I forgot the fact that Eren has been fond of children and is good around them.

Eren broke his gaze away from the children and looked at me, beckoning me to come closer with his finger. Reluctantly I did what he asked, slowly making my way towards them. The kids around him stopped clinging onto him to look at me, curiosity obvious on their faces.

Once I'm only a few feet from them, Eren cleared his throat, catching their attention. "Okay. So today, I brought my friend here," I couldn't help but notice how his voice strained when he said the word 'friend', "to spend some time with you. Meet Levi, kids. It's his birthday and I expect you to be good to him. Is that clear?"

None of them spoke for a moment until they erupted into a mess of noise. I couldn't understand anything, the words too jumbled for my comprehension, until one sentence stood out.

"He's Jesus!" All of us went silent. The kid who said it looked around, confused. "He is! It's Christmas and it's his birthday!"

Getting over his shock, Eren shook his head, chuckling. "He isn't Jesus. He's just born in the same date."

Amused, a small smirk appeared on my lips. "Eren's right. I'm not Jesus, kid. Far from it."

Some of the kids walked away from Eren and crowded around me, some clinging onto my clothes and leg just like how they did to Eren. Feeling a tug on my shirt, I looked down and saw a young girl who looks like no more than four raising her hands up, making grabby hands.

I didn't know what to do. Asking for guidance, I turned my head to look at Eren. He smiled at me and gave me a nod.

"Go on, Levi. It's fine."

Looking down at the child again, I leaned down and picked her up. She made a joyous sound as I did so, laughing and making a 'weee' sound as I lifted her up. Situating her on my arm, she wrapped her small arms around me, looking at me while giggling.

Once again, I looked at Eren. He was wearing a tender look, his eyes soft with a small smile on his lips as he looked at me. It made me want to melt under his gaze, not used to how it felt to be subjected under his gaze after not being with him for quite a long time. One kid took my hand and pulled me, making us walk towards Eren's direction.

Once we're near them, Eren asked me a question. "Are you okay with being in here, Levi?"

Eren is looking at me questioningly but under that I could see worry. Worry for the chance that I might not like it here and his time with me would be wasted.

I shook my head. "No, it's fine. I like it here."

How could I not like it? Seeing the joy his face expressed was enough for me. For the past times I've seen him, he always looked hopeless, stressed and sad. How could I not like it here if being in this place would bring a smile on his face?

Hearing my answer made him looked like a boulder was lifted off of his shoulders, his worry dissipating into thin air. He smiled at me happily before looking down at the children surrounding us.

"You heard him, right? Don't let him regret that he spent his birthday with you, kids." The children nodded and said their affirmations before pulling the two of us towards the building, laughing and yippee-ing as they did so. Eren looked at me apologetically and I shook my head in response, letting a small smile show on my lips.

Busting through the doors, they started chanting that 'brother Eren is here'. I could hear some of them saying that Eren has brought a friend. I couldn't believe how children find happiness in such small things.

When we are still kids, many are wishing to become an adult immediately. But when we reach adulthood, we wish to become children again. Maybe this is the reason why. They aren't aware of the cruelty of the world they live in. They're not obliged to handle problems and responsibilities. Children can find joy in the simplest things, something that is vanishing as we grow old.

I felt a poke on my cheek, making me look at the little girl in my arms. She pointed at the floor before looking back at me. Taking it as a signal, I put her down, watching her ran to the other children.

"They're cute, aren't they?" I didn't notice that Eren was already standing beside me, catching me off guard when he suddenly spoke. He has his eyes set on the children just a few feet away from us.

"Yeah. I forgot how much you like children until now."

"Well, I appreciate them. They're so easy to be around. Carefree, light, no dramas. They know how to enjoy everything." Eren sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"Are we this happy before? When we were still kids?"

What I said made him look at me. Without any hesitance, he replied. "Yes. If not, we're happier even though there's only three of us."

I couldn't deny that. Eren and Rein had been my first friends and had always been together for years before they left. It has been the happiest years of my life and without them, I don't think that I'll have something to treasure from the past.

"Eren! It's good to see you!" Both of us turned to the direction where the voice had come from. From there I saw a lady, who looks like she's in her 50's, walking towards us in a rather fast pace. She was wearing a long skirt that went past her knees and a plain white blouse, a smile resting on her lips at the sight of Eren. She has a motherly aura in her, years of being around children did that to her.

Eren smiled back at her, giving her a hug once they were close to each other.

"It's good to be here again." Eren laughed, patting the woman's back twice before he unlatched himself to her.

When they broke the contact, the woman looked at me, her smile still resting on her lips.

"Who's this handsome young man you brought here with you?" She approached me, taking a few steps before stopping in front of me. I noticed that she was shorter than me by a few inches so I actually have to look down a bit. Finally.

"My name's Levi. It's nice to meet you." Offering my hand, she took it before pulling me into a hug. I didn't move, not used yo physical contact.

"It's nice to know you, Levi." She seemed to drag my name a little, putting emphasis on it while looking at Eren with a knowing look. Eren feigned an innocent look, smiling a bit before looking away. Their actions confused me. What the hell is that for?

"Come in, come in. I'm sure the kids are glad to see you." She made a gesture telling us to follow her. We traipsed through the place, my eyes taking in the sight of the children's drawing posted on the white wall as we did so. The building's ceiling is high, the floor made of wood with pieces of furniture such as couches in the corner.

The lady led us to what seems like the main room or what would be the living room of the building. More than twenty kids seemed to be in the place, laughing, playing and talking to each other. When they saw Eren came in, they stopped what they're doing and gathered around him, calling his name in glee. Eren seemed to brighten up more, ruffling their hair and making high fives with them.