Okay, a few days ago, @DracoOkamiDemon left a message on my message board and I was surprised at what they said. I went to their profile and saw this...

They made a fanart for Love Me Or Leave Me! I am so, so glad that I want to share it to you guys. Thank you for the support and understanding :) You all make me happy.

P.S. Look at how small Levi is. And they didn't forget the flower crown. Ahhh!

*****

Days after Rein's apology and confession, everything went smoother. It's like a boulder was lifted off of my shoulder and even though there's still a heavy feeling that's leaving a hole in my chest, it felt lighter, more bearable. Rein took everything easy, which I am thankful for. I don't know what I'll fucking do if ever a fight breaks between those two.

I let out another sigh, stretching my arms, neck and back, feeling my bones pop into place. I'm sore from sitting too long and studying, almost stood up and just leave it behind, but I chose not to. I need to do this if I want to actually pass my subjects.

Rein and I decided to go to the city library to study together even though we aren't taking up the same course. We took our seats in the most unused part of the library, the furthermost corner in the second floor of the place, where we are sure that little to no amount of people would be there. We weren't disappointed with what we saw when we arrived and since then we started studying.

Rein came back with a couple of books in hand. Placing the book on top of the table, he plopped down the chair unceremoniously, throwing his head back with a groan.

"Oh. What's this? The genius kid's already giving up?" My teasing tone caught Rein's attention. Slowly, he lifted his head up, looking at me with a playful glint in their eyes.

He scoffed. "Who said that?"

"Me. Obviously."

He sighed, letting his head fall back again. "It's just that it's tiring. Christmas is just around the corner and we're still neck deep with works."

"Stop whining and do actual work. That would help you unlike whining."

We went back to our works after that. I kept on writing the book review that I needed to pass two days from now, my fingers flying across my laptop's keyboard as words continue to show up in the screen. Rein was busy reading the books he took earlier and with the both of us not bothering to talk, the only sounds that can be heard are the sounds of my fingers tapping the keyboard and his occasional flipping of pages.

As I finish the book review, I saved the document into my file folder for my requirements and shut my laptop off. I took a few moments to rest my eye from the strain and decided to look around. My eyes barely caught it and thought that I was only seeing things, but I quickly snapped my head back to where I saw the familiar figure. And there, sitting alone, is Eren.

He was reading while taking down some notes, his hair tied back into a ponytail, making me able to stare at his face without it being obscured. He looked healthier and better now, almost like how he was before we broke up, except for the dark circles he has under his eyes. His brows were furrowed, his teeth biting his bottom lip as he focused on his task.

"Levi... Levi?" Rein pulled me out of my trance. I looked at him and saw the worried look on his face. "Hey, are you okay?"

I gave him a nod and let out a deep breath. "Yes, I'm just tired."

It didn't change the look on his face. "Do you want to go home?"

I huffed out a breath and rolled my eyes, pushing his forehead with two of my fingers. "Just shut up and finish your works."

Giving me one last uncertain look, he nodded and started working again. I took a glance at where Eren is and watched him for a minute before I started working again.

Another hour had passed when I decided that enough is enough. I let my head fall onto the book, breathing out another deep breath because of the exhaustion I felt. I couldn't focus properly now because of it. That and the fact that Eren is just some meters away from me.

"Tired?" I lifted my head up to look at Rein who's currently sporting a fond look on his face.

"Yeah." I straightened up and stretched again, trying to relieve myself from some of the soreness I felt. He started gathering his things so I did the same, too fucking ready to have a break from studying and leave the library.

"So, do you have any plans on Christmas?"

"I-" A loud noise of the chair sliding through the floor cut me off and grabbed both Rein's and my attention. We turned our heads to look at where the sound came from, only to see that it was caused by no other than Eren. He looked at us to apologize, only for it to be left hanging as his eyes went wide at the sight of us.

"Eren?" Rein slowly stood up before he started walking to where his twin is. Eren met him halfway, a small smile resting on his face as he ruffled Rein's hair. "I didn't know that you'll go here."

"I just thought that I need to get some information from a certain book here." He looked at me and smiled. "Hey, Levi."

"Hey..." I fucking hate how fast my heart is beating right now while he's acting so fucking casual like nothing happened.

"I didn't think that I'd see you here." Eren looked at me because of what I suddenly blurted out. Fuck, what the hell's happening to me? He just looked at me for a few seconds and my mind is going haywire.

"Levi, I do study, you know." Then he laughed, and it made my stomach tied itself in knots again. Fuck, Levi. Control your fucking self. Everything's already over between the two of you. Just fucking forget those shitty feelings and fucking move on.

"Well," Rein started, making the both of us look at him. "Since the three of us are here, how about we go somewhere? It's been a long time since we went out and I honestly miss it."

Fuck. I don't think I'm comfortable enough to actually spend any time with Eren. "I-"

"That's okay." Even Eren sounded excited, the twins have smiles plastered on their faces. "I know the perfect place to go to."

"And where might that be?"

"There's a new café that just opened around last week. I know who the owner is and it is worth the try." Eren smiled at us, his turquoise eyes more alight than ever. It's been a while since I saw that shine in his eyes. I don't think I can take that away by refusing to go.

"Well, I believe in Eren's taste so it's an okay for me. How about you, Levi?"

Eren set his eyes on me, looking at me with a questioning look. "You going?"

Heaving out a sigh, I nodded. "Yeah."

Hearing my answer he perked up, his expression became more happier. "Let's get going now, shall we?"

*****

After minutes of driving, we arrived at the café that Eren is pertaining to. Soon after the car was parked, we went inside, the cold weather of December contrasting to the warmth we felt inside the café.

The place are lightened up by yellow lights, dimming the surrounding just enough. The couches are comfortable to sit on, each table has a soft looking carpet on the ground. The place was painted in white and brown colors, matching the colors of the table and the couch. The air is so full of the smell of coffee and it's obvious that the two of them are enjoying it, being a huge fan of coffee.

"You guys go take a seat now, I'll order for us." We didn't say anything and just did what he asked, sitting at the corner beside the glass window. There's only a few people around in which I am grateful for. I sat by the window while Rein sat beside me in silence.

While Rein is looking around, I took the opportunity to look at Eren. He was currently talking to the cashier, a smile on his face as he exchanged words with her, making the other laugh. My eyes narrowed at the sight, still not used to see him talking with the others that much, but I stopped myself. Maybe if this happened before my action would be logical, but not now.

Clicking my tongue, I turned my gaze away from the two just in time before Eren looked at our direction. I can feel Rein's eyes set on me, aware that the reason why he's looking is because of my sudden show of irritation. Still I didn't talk and just kept my eyes fixed outside until Eren came back with a tray in his hand.

He set the cups and plates down, each one having the same type of muffin on it. I thanked him as I took it and he smiled before sitting down on the seats in front of us.

Rein, who already took a sip from his drink, started up a conversation. "Christmas is near already. Do you two have any plans?"

I shook my head. "None, I often spend it alone in my apartment.

They both looked at me. "Isn't your birthday on Christmas?" I looked up from the table where I fixed my eyes at and placed it on Eren, whose eyebrows are furrowed.

"Who said about me celebrating my birthday?"

"So you really don't?"

Again, I shook my head. "No, and I don't plan to." I took a sip from my own cup and looked down at the table again. I can't look in front of me knowing the fact that Eren would be in plain sight.

Both of them sighed, well aware of the fact that I am stubborn and wouldn't listen to them even if they try to. Rein looked at his twin. "How about you?"

"Oh, I am going to sing in a bar on Christmas eve."

"Really? With that voice of yours? Oh man, Christmas eve is going to be rainy then." Rein laughed to further tease the other, making Eren shook his head.

"Compared to yours, I am very much thankful for mine."

"My voice is better than yours, Eren. You need to accept it."

"Maybe that's why Mom named you Rein. She foresaw that whenever you sing, it's going to rain. She really is clever, naming you appropriately." Eren smirked at his twin.

"Oh don't you dare include my name in this talk, Eren." Then they both laughed, making me sigh. They didn't change. Still laughing at their own talks.

"Well, I guess that we need to prove who has a better voice, huh? How about you go there and watch to settle this?"

Rein nodded, taking a sip from his drink while still looking back at his twin. "Fine. Let's settle this one and for all." Rein sounded like he's taking a serious challenge, not one that only popped out because of a bickering.

"Levi, are you going to Eren's gig?" I looked at Rein who's looking at me with an eyebrow raised before looking at Eren, who is wearing an expression that I couldn't point out what. In his eyes, however, hope is reflected. He invited me to come and see him sing before and even after what happened, he's hoping that I'll come.

I know that I should just listen to my head, to just ignore his silent plea and request to come, but I found out that I couldn't. I've been berating myself for being weak when it comes to him, how I am unable to resist him no matter how hard I tell myself to not give in. I am frustrated at him for having those irrationally intense eyes that are capable of making you bend to his will, but I am more frustrated at myself. Frustrated because I've never been a weak man, I've always been in control of myself but just because of this man, I found myself in a position that I never thought that I will be in.

Maybe I'll let this thing slip one last time. After this, well, there will be nothing else besides friendship between us.

I will try to forget whatever I feel about him.

Sighing, I nodded before letting out a whispered 'yes'. Rein only smiled, his eyes containing an emotion I couldn't put a finger on. On the other hand, Eren, who is still sitting in front of me, is wearing a downcast look, probably aware of what I was thinking. I didn't have the heart to look at it, knowing all too well that just a look of him can trigger a whole range of emotions in me, something that I want to get over with.

Silence reigned in the air and I chose to turn my attention to the table between us, suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the world. Just like how I became this past few days, I spaced out, blocking out any thoughts in my mind. I don't know why I usually space out, but I guess that it's better than having a migraine because of all the fucking thoughts bombarding my head.

I lifted my eyes from the table and looked at Rein just in time to see him take a bite of his muffin. Crumbs are left on his lips, making my fingers itch at the urge to clean it up. Unaware, my hand took a napkin and lifted it up to his lips, cleaning it. I watched as his eyes widen at the gesture, his cheeks having a tint of pink. After realizing what I've done and that Eren is looking at us, his face blank but eyes filled with hurt, I quickly pulled away, placing the napkin on the table.

The action made the silence heavier, and I wasn't aware that it was fucking possible until it happened. It was so damn heavy that I can feel it crushing me in its grip, my chest getting heavier and heavier as each second passed by. I'm such a fucking idiot. Why did I do that? Eren is here and by the looks of it, he'd rather have me stabbing him on his chest than watch Rein and I together.

Knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to look at Eren head on, I returned my gaze on the table in front of us. I was hyper aware of everything, and for some reason I was able to hear our breaths in the otherwise silent place.

Rein poked me, causing me to look at him. He was holding the muffin that was given to me, still in its pristine state. I just stared at it before shifting my eyes to his face, seeing him smiling at me.

"Open your mouth and take a bite, Levi. It's good and it'll be a waste if you wouldn't eat it, right, Eren?"

Casting my gaze towards Eren, I saw him nod, allowing a painfully fake smile to show. He looked like he's in physical pain, like someone's pressing a hot steel on his tan skin.

"Yeah." I almost flinched at the sound of his voice. Even his voice is strained, making me feel more guilty. A part of me is screaming at me to stop this, to just ignore Rein and go to Eren's side to comfort him, but the other part of me is telling me that I'm doing the right thing. That this will be helping us to forget.

Maybe I'm being nothing but an insensitive prick. Or maybe I just really enjoy watching the two of us suffer because I complied at Rein's wish, ignoring the way my stomach twisted and the sinking feeling on my chest.

After taking a bite, I looked out of the window, my hands blindly seeking my cup of tea, not having enough guts to look at it with the risk of being able to see Eren. We were silent once again, no one bothering to break the silence.

That is until a sound of a phone ringing broke the blanket of silence over us. I knew that it isn't mine so I tore my eyes from the window to look at where it came from. I saw Eren taking out his phone, checking it before answering.

"Hey, Horseface." Eren sighed, running his free hand through his hair. I can see relief in his eyes. For what? I don't fucking know.

The one on the other line spoke. I wasn't able to hear what they said but whatever it is, it's enough to make him roll his eyes. "Whatever. What do you want?" There's a pause. "Practice? Now?"

He looked at the watch that he's wearing. "Oh fuck, sorry, I forgot about it. I'll be there shortly." He ended the call and look at us apologetically.

"Sorry, but I have to go. Jean just called me."

"Jean?" Rein tilted his head a bit. Jean, huh? His name sounded familiar.

"One of my band mates." Eren took his cup nd drank what's left. "I'll be leaving now." He smiled at us before he turned his back and walked out of the shop quickly.

I watched until he's out of my sight. He may be gone for now, but the aching and heavy feeling didn't disappear.

If only he could take it all away with him.

*****

For the first time, I was thankful that Jean called me. Thankful that I was saved from that place, where I can only watch him be together with my twin as I slowly die inside. I didn't think that it would hurt so much to see them together. It's worse than being stabbed in the chest a hundred times.

When I reached the place where we will be practicing, I parked my car but I didn't go out. I stayed inside the car, my grip on the steering wheel hard as I did my best to even out my breathing. I couldn't afford to let these things get to me. I still have an obligation to attend to.

Getting out of the car, I slammed the door shut before making my way to Jean's house. I rang the doorbell once and not a minute has passed before the front door opened. Jean stepped aside to make way for me.

"Why are you late? That's so unusual for you, Yeager."

Jean closed the door and followed me to the living room. I sat down on the couch, my head falling onto my hands that were propped by my elbows on my knees.

"Hey, you look sick. What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, because obviously, you didn't look like you've just been into something that you'd rather not be into."

I lifted my head up to glare at him. "Shut up, Horseface. You're not helping."

He leaned back on the couch he's sitting on, looking smug. "See? You got a problem, Bastard. What is it?"

I heave out a sigh. Maybe telling him about it would help me feel even a little bit better.

"Aren't we going to practice?"

He shrugged. "Technically, we should. But seeing as the others are not here yet, we'll talk. We couldn't practice properly if you're being troubled by something."

I slumped on the couch. I can feel a wide range of emotions wanting to get out. Anger, sadness, hopelessness. It's too suffocating, too heavy that it's weighting me down.

"It's Levi." My heart clenched at the mention of his name. God, I miss him so fucking much. I miss his warmth, his voice, his touches. I miss all of those late night talks, all of his kisses. I miss everything about him. He completes me and I still live with this void inside me with him gone.

"Your ex?"

"...yeah."

Jean was silent. He is being careful, aware of how sensitive this topic is to me. "What about him?"

"I was with him earlier. My twin was also there."

Jean knew about what happened between Levi and I. It was an accident, though. He saw me crying because of what happened then he asked me about it. I told him everything. Despite our usual bickering, I admit that he was a good listener. He just listened, keeping his thoughts to himself even though it's very obvious that I fucked up.

"It just hurt so fucking much. I want him to be mine, but how will he if Rein already have him?" I tilted my head and looked up, willing the tears that are threatening to fall away. "I didn't know that it will hurt this much until I see them together."

"You know, it isn't bad to cry." I looked at him and saw him wearing a small, unsure smile. "Let it out, Yeager."