Sorry about the shitty title. Unedited. I apologize in advance. And also, I would appreciate it if you'll read the author's note at the end.

On with the story.

*****

I didn't know how long I stood there, frozen with my eyes wide because of the shock with just what happened. Despite the lack of reaction in my part, he didn't pull away, keeping his arms tightly wounded around me.

Recovering over my shock, my hands slowly made its way up, my fingers burying themselves into his shirt. I closed my eyes with a shaky breath, my head falling to rest on his shoulder.

"Rein..." My voice sounded hoarse, my throat felt as dry as a desert, making speaking any word out hard. Saying his name isn't something that I'm prepared to do, not after what just happened, but I know that he shouldn't be affected with what happened between his twin and I. He has nothing to do with it.

He lifted his head from the crook of my neck and I did the same, looking straight back at the face that I've grown to know too much. The sight sent a pang of hurt in my chest, because no matter how much I tried to avoid it, he is always able to sneak into my fucking mind. Now I hate it how much they resembled each other.

"I miss you, Levi. God, I can't believe that you're finally here. I finally see you after five long years." He let out a laugh, sounding relieved and happy, like seeing me genuinely made him grateful. I tried to smile, I really fucking did, but I couldn't. Not with my mind telling me how messed up my situation is now. I looked away in shame.

"Yeah, I'm—" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm glad to see you, too." I lifted my gaze from the floor and into his eyes, the pair of amber eyes staring straight at me. Only then I noticed that Eren's eyes that was covered with contacts isn't as vivid as this one, as rich and smooth as the real ones. "...welcome back."

He smiled at that again, pulling me into another hug that I didn't hesitate to return. As I looked over his shoulder, my eye caught something—or someone—in my peripheral vision, and my body automatically went stiff.

Rein noticed my reaction and pulled away, looking at me in worry. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Before I can even reply, someone cuts me into it, speaking before I could utter any word. "Rein."

Rein turned around to look at where the voice came from, immediately lighting up when he saw his twin brother, Eren, standing a few meters away with an expression that I couldn't explain. I can feel his gaze burning holes through me despite his twin being here, and I have to look away once I was met by his turquoise eyes. I couldn't handle looking at those expressive eyes.

I remained standing by the doorway, watching as Rein practically ran towards him and hugged his brother, telling him how much he missed him for the past months with him being gone. Eren, being at least a couple inches taller than Rein, ruffled his brother's hair, a small smile resting on his lips. Then his eyes lifted from Rein to me, and his smile suddenly vanished. This time, he's the one who looked away.

Saying that his action didn't hurt me is a fucking lie, but I'm the one who did it first in the first damn place. Maybe it'll be better for us to be like this now. Now that Rein is here, it'll be better to just forget about what happened between us. I couldn't risk making any more fucking damage to our relationship.

Rein is still talking, the smile never leaving his face while Eren looked melancholic. It wouldn't be noticeable at first glance, considering the small smile on his lips, but his those expressive turquoise gave all of it away. Hidden beneath its depth is sadness, accompanied by acceptance. Maybe now that Rein's here, he thought that he really did lose the game. The little flame of hope that's resting in his chest was extinguished by the arrival of his twin.

Rein walked towards me with Eren trailing behind him but instead of being glad at the thought of us three being together again, I panicked inside, not knowing how to deal with Eren. We haven't talked since the day we broke up, and we couldn't let Rein notice that there's something wrong between the two of us.

I am scared to know what Rein's reaction will be once he discovered what Eren did, that Eren pretended to be him to get me. I know that Rein's serious with being with me, about the promise that he made before when they left for Germany, and it would cause a conflict between them two once he knew what his twin did. No matter how much I think I hate Eren for what he did, I couldn't imagine being the cause of a fight between them.

When Rein stopped in front of me, he didn't say any word. Silence hung heavy between the two of us, Eren not meeting my gaze and vice versa, and only a fucking idiot wouldn't feel the tension—so thick you can cut it with a fucking knife—that has settled over us.

Rein looked between the two of us, his brows knitting together slightly in confusion. "Is there something wrong between you two?"

I shook my head. "No."

"No."

Eren and I looked at each other, caught off guard by the fact that we answered the same thing at the same time. We held our gazes for a short time before looking away.

Rein cleared his throat. "Okay, I'm sure that there's some misunderstanding going on between you two, but I want that to be set aside for now. I just came back and this is what I'll get? And here I am hoping that we guys can catch up."

I muttered lowly under my breath. "If only it's that easy."

I spared a glance at Eren and saw a flash of emotion in his eyes, but before I could even point what emotion it is, it was suddenly gone, replaced by a blank look that made his eyes looked dull and lifeless.

Rein looked at me. "Huh? Did you say something, Levi?"

Again, I shook my head. "No." Noticing that their clothes aren't suitable for the cold weather, I stepped aside, opening the door for them. "Come in."

Rein is the first one who made a move, walking inside and removing his shoes which I'm glad for. Eren hesitated for a moment, before releasing a sigh and walking in. He stopped when he's in front of me, looking at me and opening his mouth to say something, but chose against his better judgement. Instead, he just shook his head and proceeded inside. I didn't let myself dwell over what he must've said if he didn't choose against it and just closed the door before following them inside.

When I reached the living room, I saw the both of them sitting on the couch, Rein looking around in amusement while Eren kept his gaze low at the ground. I quickly looked away when Eren lifted his head and looked at my direction, acting like I didn't spare any glance at him and kept my eyes on Rein.

On the other hand, Rein stopped looking around and settled his gaze on me, smiling widely. "Nice house you have here, Levi."

I bobbed my head and gave him a nod. "Thanks. Would the two of you like some tea?"

"Eh," Rein cocked his head a bit to the right. "I am more of a coffee person so if you have coffee, that's what I would like to have. Eren here anyways..." Eren quickly shot his twin a glare, clearly shouting 'shut the fuck up', but Rein ignored it. Instead he turned to look at me, a teasing smile on his lips. "He used to avoid drinking tea when we're in Germany, but when he went back here he told me that he already loved it. I guess I'll also learn to like it now that I'm staying here."

Rein looked back at his twin who in turn, gave him a deadlier glare than he did before. Eren sighed and shook his head before looking at me, his face sporting a blank look. "I would like some tea, thanks."

Without saying another word, I went to the kitchen and prepared their drinks. I worked in silence, the twin's voice coming from the living room sounding faint for me to understand anything. I took my time in creating their drinks just to prolong the time that I am away from Eren. Even after seeing him earlier at his apartment, being able to look at him this close makes all the change that happened to him more noticeable. Sunken eyes with dark bags under it, his eyes lost the light in it that it used to have like it was extinguished. His skin lost its rich tan color and turned a little pale which looks unhealthy, and his clothes seems to be hung on his body than how it used to.

I shook my head. I should stop letting my fucking mind wander and just finished my task.

After pouring their drinks into their cups, I placed the cups including mine in a tray before I went back to the living room. The both of them are having a conversation which kept a smile on both of their faces, although Eren's smile is miniscule. Placing the tray on top of the coffee table, they both thanked me and took each of their respective drinks as I settled myself on one of the single person couches across from them. The three of us sipped our drinks in silence, waiting for one of us to speak and start a conversation. The tension in the air is still present, but not enough for Rein to give attention to. I doubt that it would vanish as long as Eren and I are together in one place.

Resting his cup on the table, Rein leaned back on the couch and looked at us. He looked happy, his amber eyes reflecting it, and it also sent a wave of content inside me as I took in the fact that the three of us are back together in one place now, despite Eren and I's situation.

I placed my cup back on the coffee table before I turned to Rein. "When did you arrived here?"

"I just arrived here this morning. I went to the hotel first and settled my things there before I made my way here."

Eren regarded at him with a frown. "Why would you stay in a hotel if you can stay at my apartment? I share it with one person, but we have one spare room that you can take."

Rein chuckled. "It's because I want to surprise the both of you. How the hell am I supposed to do that if you knew I am coming?"

It's my turn to frown, this time in confusion. "Eren didn't know you're coming back?"

"Nope." He shook his head, making sure to pop the 'p' when he answered. "Like what I had said, it's a surprise. Is it a success?"

Eren clicked his tongue and mumbled something under his breath. What a fucking surprise it is, coming in an unwelcomed time.

"Yes it is." I sighed, taking my cup from the table and sipping from the hot liquid before speaking again. "So, are you going to stay here permanently?"

"I'm gonna stay here now until I finish college. Maybe even after that. I don't know, I really don't have any concrete plans right now." He shrugged, also taking a sip in his coffee. "How about you? Five years are so long, there must've been something that happened."

I shook my head. Now that I think about it, there's nothing fucking interesting that happened in my life for the past five years that are worth talking about. Except for one thing, but I don't think that all of us would like to hear the damn story.

I trailed the tip of my pointing finger on my cup's rim. "Nothing. My life's boring as fuck." I just spent the past five years of my life waiting for these two idiots.

"Hmm? As in none? Haven't you ever had a relationship in the past years?" I heard Eren choked and my body went stiff at the question, the question that I wanted to avoid the most. What am I supposed to say? That I haven't been in a relationship even though Eren is here? Even I am not that much of a fucking asshole to say that. We still had a history. No amount of pretense can change that.

"I..." From the corner of my eye, I saw Eren looked at me. There it is again, the expression that he makes that I couldn't point out. "I had one. We lasted a few months. He's the only one I got into a relationship with."

I can feel both of their gazes burning holes through me. I didn't dare take a look at Eren, not knowing what fucking awaits me if I ever take a glance at him. Instead I kept my eyes glued to the floor.

Silence stretched over the three of us after that. No one bothered to speak until someone chuckled, and I looked up to see that it's Rein, a small smile resting on his lips as he looked at me. "You know what? I'm not surprised. Actually I'm more surprised that you only had one. What happened to the both of you? Considering that you said you lasted a few months, it means you're not together now."

Eren removed his unyielding gaze on me and set it on his twin, the expression is face is bearing is a serious one. "Rein." Eren's voice held some sort of warning, silently telling Rein to stop. I don't know if he's doing if for his sake or mine, but I'm thankful that he's also trying to avoid talking about it. Both of us weren't fucking ready for it.

"Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable, Levi?" Rein looked at me apologetically. I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak, only to find no words coming out. Taking another sip from my tea that already became cold, I cleared my throat.

"No, it's okay. It's just that it's still a topic that I don't want to talk about." Sighing, I drank all of my tea and putting it back on the tray, all of us already done with our drinks.

"Can you at least tell me what happened?" He looked at me pleadingly and I slapped myself mentally when I find myself giving in.

"Nothing fucking major. We just didn't work out." I did my best to keep my voice void of any hurt, and I'm so fucking glad that I managed to. Eren's looking at me again, his face still as blank as ever, but his eyes shows conflicting emotions, like a storm.

Rein nodded, shooting me an unsure smile. "I'm sorry for that. He's a fucking idiot to let you go. Right, Eren?"

Eren visibly flinched like Rein's words hurt him physically. He looked at his twin first, then to me, before looking away. "Yeah, he is. If only he realized what he lost."

I felt a sharp pain hit my chest when I heard the underlying hurt under Eren's otherwise blank tone. Even if he sounded like that, I can pick up hints that shows that he feels otherwise. Now I'm wondering if he can also see through my fucking mask.

I stood up and excused myself, taking the tray with me. "I'll go wash these first."

Quickly walking away, I went to the kitchen and made a beeline to the sink. Turning the faucet on, I let the water flow down and started washing the cups, totally unaware of the other presence in the room.

"Levi..."

Recognizing the voice, my movements halted to a stop. Turning the faucet off, I dried my hands with the towel resting on the side and took a deep breath to compose myself before I turned around. My eyes are met by Eren's form, standing a few feet away from me.

When grey clashes with turquoise, I was pinned in my place. It's like the absence of emotions on his face earlier was pent up, and now the fucking dam broke, leaving him looking very vulnerable. His face and those expressive eyes of his reflect all of his emotions—regret, hurt, and longing, all being flashed like a page of an open book.

"Levi—"

"What do you want, Eren? If you want to talk about what happened, then you can stop now. I don't want to talk about it."

"Wait, listen first—" He ran his hand through his hair, pushing his bangs away from his face, giving me a good view of the conflicted look on his face. "I understand it if you don't want to talk about it but at least listen to me first."

Clicking my tongue, I allowed him to speak. I leaned back on the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, keeping my face as blank as I possibly can. "Talk."

He sighed, whether in relief or exasperation, I don't know. Then he fixed his eyes on me.

"I went here to talk to you about what happened between us. About what I did." He paused, taking another deep breath, and I watch his Adam's apple moved as he swallowed.

"I just want you to know how fucking sorry I am. I regret all of it with every fiber of my being, Levi. I can't stop thinking about you. I know that it's my fucking fault why it has come to this and that's why I'm here. I want you to forgive me, Levi. I want to fix everything between us. I know that it seems impossible to happen especially now that Rein's here but please, Levi. Please. I don't think that I can be without you, not now when I finally experienced having you."

Eren looked at me with a desperately, and the sight made my stomach twist in knots and squeeze my heart painfully. Watching him look like that, the polar opposite of the confident Eren I am used to see, did unpleasant things to me. I couldn't deny that deep within me, I hoped that he really wouldn't give up, that he will show me proof that I fell for him not because I thought he was Rein, but I fall for him because of his personality, his doings, and not just his name.

But still, I couldn't decide without thinking this thoroughly. No, not now that Rein, the one who he pretended to be, is here. I need to fucking know who I really have feelings for, and I won't be able to figure any shit out in my condition. I can't afford to make any reckless decision. Our friendship is at stake, something that is very precious to me.

Taking in enough courage, I looked back at Eren, fighting to keep my impassive mask from breaking at the total misery that's coming off of him.

"I may forgive you, but I don't think that you can fix what was broken. It's already too fucking hard to understand anything, Eren, and to think that Rein is here, I don't think that it will be any easier."

"But I will fight to have you..." His voice cracked, eyes starting to glisten with unshed tears. I tore my gaze away from him knowing that if I look any longer, my mask will completely fall off.

"But I don't think that I am willing to. Not now that my emotions are in disarray. I don't even fucking know who I really have feelings for."

Silence followed after that, until I heard a humorless chuckle. I looked up to see him, tears already flowing down his cheeks from his eyes as he shook his head, looking dejected.

"I should've known that this is fucking futile. You've liked him since we were kids. Who am I compared to him? Nothing. I should've known better than to try fix anything about us. It's fucking impossible from the start, but i'm too much of a stubborn idiot. But could you fucking blame me? I love you so damn much it fucking hurts."

"Eren—"

"What's happening here?" I was cut off when Rein spoke, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Eren quickly wiped his face with his sleeve and turned away from his twin's gaze. "Are the both of you okay?"

I opened my mouth to speak. "We're talking about something important—"

"Everything's fine." Eren once again looked at me, and I was taken aback when I saw how emotionless his face and eyes are. "Everything's fucking fine."

He turned to look at Rein, his look not changing, his whole being becoming cold and distant. "I'll go now. I don't feel well."

Without waiting for Rein's reply, he turned on his heel, leaving both of us in stunned silence. We were frozen in place until we heard the door shut, and only then we managed to move.

Rein still has his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he turned to look at me. "What the hell happened—Levi, why are you crying?"

My hand shot up to touch my cheek, feeling my skin wet with tears that I didn't notice already falling from my eyes. Then everything came at once. The unbearable pain in my chest, the way my stomach felt sick. As Rein stared at me not knowing what to do or say, Eren's words echoed in my head.