《Knights, Nobles, and Cannibals》Ambitions as an Emperor.
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No trees could be seen anywhere in the sprawling urban blocks of the city. The streets remained spotless, windless, and unoccupied. Not a fly, tick, elf or anything else naturally occurring was around to disturb the peace. A river ran through the center with green stagnant waters where nothing naturally occurring was disturbing the peace. A towering suspension bridge connected it all together with large toll gates on either end, and massive billboard advertisements flanking the sides in order to fund its operation.
In the center of the city sat a massive green pyramid flanked by ones that grew smaller, and smaller. On the very top triangle of the biggest structure the elf brains reside pickled to save them from old age. The hive minds below claimed to be their own bosses, but at the end of the day the orders all came from the top of the food pyramid. As no two things in elves culture could be the same size, everything was forced to the tier list. This of course was all decided by the hive-mind, albeit with influence from the pawns who lived below it.
Elf as a whole were far too intelligent to reproduce the way rats, humans, and other species lower on the list did. It was something that took years of brainstorming to plan out, and then do business on. A lot of things were at stake between the gender-less parties so a lot of precautionary law had to take place first. Sure a lot of this was an excuse, because being a culture of pure individuality the elf society functioned best with little bodies. Elf's ran businesses, made profit, climbed the pyramids, or worse came to worse would focus in on an intellectual pursuit that would pay. Any form of labor was strictly outlawed, and intended for animals with a lower ranking.
“ZAAP!”
A violent burst of energy exploding out onto a privatized main street. A newspaper stand was knocked over, and a billboard pleading “Stockpile gold, not crystals” burst into green flames. Nearby the private human security paid in neither of the above came running to the commotion. The guard out in front covering his face with his hand to avoid the wafts of black smoke pouring down the alley.
“I don’t believe the boss-man is paying a fire brigade” said the guy in the back stepping back.
“Cough cough true. Let me just see what we are dealing with here Gregory '' coughed the guy in front pushing on.
“Come on Billy don’t become a fool on me” said the guy breathing clean air.
Billy covered his mouth with a spare sock he brought for wet weather. An iron rung fire exit ran above him to a high up apartment, while at ground level trash was locked away in a stack of rented bins. He walked forward more as the smoke started to clear in the immediate area. Billy peered forward straining to see with his smoke stung eyes. A bolt of black flashed towards him narrowly missing. Billy belly flopped on the concrete covering his metal helmet with both hands. He turned, his body slowly shaking to see behind him. Right behind his left foot a stack of metal mailbox lockers already turned black, pulsing with electricity.
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A figure emerged from the alley cradling a bloodied crystal cutting hook in one arm. His mother slung over his other shoulder. King Edward looked down at the guard who had drawn his weapon.
“I’ve teleported here to purchase plastic surgery for my mother. Do you mind showing me to the clinic?” asked Edward, dropping a sack of currency at the grunts feet.
“Yes at once come with me, oh ah what salute do you prefer sir” said the grunt pausing.
“Oh this is a deluxe mercenary, how else can you serve me” said Edward.
“I will show you the best steakhouse after you drop her off for the procedure,my name's Greg” he said, taking out a hand for a split second by instinct, and then quickly hiding it.
Edward smiled and offered his hook to shake, dangling the offer while looking the man in the eye.
“Martha, can you please call the surgeon at once. We have an urgent patient” yelled Gregory running to the front desk of the clinic.
Behind him he heard the door open, and winced.
“The doctor will be right to just take a seat please” said Martha from where she was placing a crystal call.
“I'll wait outside, '' said Greg, rapidly shuffling to the side.
Edward carried his unconscious mother to the front desk. Unlimited power had run her ragged, eventually culminating in an extended stay in paranoid seclusion locked away in the core of the planet for many moons. She was frail, toothless, loose skin, visible bones, and sunken set eyes with bruised tear troughs completed an ugly picture to him. Even if he had her killed later nobody should see her like this.
“Yes I need you to work your full magical powers here plastic witch surgeon” said Edward dropping his mother onto an operation table.
“Nice hook there man, and yeah I am thinking about doing six tucks, then implanting ten implants, bloodletting a lot of blood, and injecting a lot of better stuff” said the doctor sharpening a buck tooth saw with a file.
“Do the best of everything doctor. I want to love my mother again, because her personality already drives me away” demanded Edward.
“Ha ha well give me a little down payment here, and another out at the front desk” said the elf witch doctor.
Edward threw bands of crystal to the floor, then more, and more.
“Remember to do the best that can be bought,” said Edward glancing at his matriarch a final time.
“Of course,” said the Dr.hobgoblin, smiling.
Outside rain fell far overhead the clinic where it was caught by some kind of invisible barrier. Edward loosened his collar with his hand. Soon enough a piece of his brain would be pickling in the golden brine found at the top triangle in the Elven team leaders executive tomb. Ultimately chunks cut from Edward the emperor would rule all 12 kingdoms together from different thrones. This was the ultimate test of a man's character when it comes to making something for himself in this free for all world. So much more plotting, killing, and scheming to earn the title of most masterful manipulator of all time.
“Other human beings where have you run for, don't you remember I pay well” King Edward called.
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There was an echo of the ruler's voice, and nothing else. Edward was here to speak to his own Elven council. A law office that he needed to locate, as well as room, and food. He had teleported himself here straight from the core, then he would teleport with his lawyer to take the capital throne officially crowned. The King’s boots clobbered down a golden path marking the way to the fingernail district. Rows of warehouses where money was counted, tallied and maintained 1-1 with the crystal before going back to the vaults somewhere else.
“No person in sight, doesn’t anyone want to work at night” called the King. “Why if I ruled this place my slaves would be killing it with productivity”.
He kicked a rock into the water as he approached the toll for the river crossing.
“How much do you want?” called the King.
There was no response, and on closer inspection the guarding toll post was coin operated. Human change was rejected, and spit back out. Having no other options Edward swiftly limbo-ed under the beam. Orange, and white beams pulsed out from the toll, and a shrill alarm played behind the blaring lights. Guards swarmed from out the small toll shack four, then six blocking him on the bridge.
“Drop that weapon immediately” said a guard taking the front who was equipped with shocking taser gloves powered by wires running to somewhere in his high tech armor.
“Oh this it’s my hand you can’t take that from me for not having any loose change” cried Edward climbing the guard rail.
The guards stopped and stared before one of them was able to fish out a coin, and raise the automatic toll. They rushed onto the bridge splitting up to search for clues to where Edward had hidden. A light came from the other side of the bridge. Guards charged forward towards it with their weapons drawn. An electric fist came down in the center of the bridge, shocking its target who fell overboard. The light rose revealing a pair of confused mercenaries watching the guy who had come with them being the target of friendly fire.
“Cool it, cool it!” another guard called calming them.
The patrol kept a well manned search of the entire bridge for ten minutes with no luck.
“Where is he? I wonda know, I wonda know tho. If it aint him here then where he at?” a soldier wondered in a foul accent barely comprehensible to Edward who winced on every noun losing brain cells from where he clung in hiding.
He was hiding by hanging underneath the bridge, his hook wrapped around an underside stone tit. Edwards' feet hung with no support over a vast, and steep drop to a dry river bed of death. The former waterway was lined with large sparkling shards of sparkling green clover crystals that would stab him. No doubt his demise caused by the rocks brought out to cover the shame uncovered by the drought.
“A man who finds himself humbled by these sorts of cliff hangers doesn’t deserve the crown of king” said Edward starting to swing back and forth gaining momentum from where he remained hooked.
“Who said that?” responded a guard.
All the mercs swarmed together at the center of the bridge with their backs pressed together. An archer readied a shock stone arrow, while next to him the man in power gloves let off sparks from an overload of amps.
“I’m about to do an overkill” said the mercenary of electric shock.
“En guard,” said Edward, leaping above the crowd from a vault below.
“Get him” yelled a guard with a crystal cutting sword running forward.
Out of the dark the man's lopped off head came rolling to the rest of the pack's feet. The archer blew his load missing the dark shadow drawing closer, and closer to them. The arrow hit the rail, spouting sparks, and electrocuting three guards touching it all along the bridge. Edward leaped forward in the confusion raising his hook. With no time to think three heads came sliced off by sharp instinct, and then the hand of a reloading archer. He dropped his bow running away leaving a stream of red in his wake.
“Zap, zap” announced the large man in electrocute gloves smacking them together as he charged.
Edwards' hook met its match against his adversaries' shock glove. The two combatants exploded in a shock-wave of energy. Both men went flying away from each others punch straight off the bridge. One was impaled far below on the green zen crystals exploding in a big ball of electric light, while the other's hook dragged into a ledge of rocks pulling him down slowly. The human king was hooked above a dam, with roaring rapids smashing into his legs once again left dangling.
Ice cold water splashed over Edwards body as it squirmed all around momentary blinded with a spray. He rocked from side to side above where he could die. His hook was well dug in, which meant he wasn't going anywhere. For better, or for worse.
“I gotta stay a bit humble I suppose. Ah but really this is nothing but a detour” said the king immediately humiliated with another spray of water.
Becoming so lost in his own world of hatching an escape he hadn't noticed he wasn’t the only one laughing. The Elves happened to live a very long time, and with all this freetime had developed an extremely sophisticated system of gossip, and public ridicule. Word had already quickly spread, and many elves had descended from their apartments to watch the self apointed king struggle to survive over the dam. The elf scholars formed the bulk of the early onlookers. Their information gathering Nth crystals encased in transcribing devices recording the action for historical purposes, future replays. This was a very important moment for their culture.
Edward finally took notice by the time the crowd had grown to the hundreds. He relaxed himself swinging side to side cold, wet, and coming down off snorting crystals in the core. He would lay still in protest not to give them any more ammunition.
“I would hope my lawyers will see me hanging here, and jump in with helping hands” yelled the King, his face beginning to go rage red.
The water coming into contact with Edward had began to steam.
"Facinating" said a sholar seeing mans fabled anger displayed for the first time.
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8 184Your Majesty Is Annoying
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