《Wild Thing (Lesbian Story) (GirlxGirl)》26. Epiphany
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Hangovers. Hangovers were the worst thing in the universe. As a constant partier, hangovers had become like a hated best friend. The best friend in which you were their best friend, but they didn't mean sh-t to you. The best friend that continuously annoyed you for so many reasons. Hangovers was like that to me. I hated them so f-cking much but they were recurrent because of my drinking. The only way to eliminate the horrible feeling was sobriety, but I wasn't ready for that just yet. Alcohol was my best friend, just like the hangovers except alcohol and I had a somewhat mutual infatuation.
With my head pounding and myself feeling quite nauseous, I sat up and looked to where Mira normally laid beside me. She wasn't there. Where she once laid, the bed was made. I grabbed my phone and looked at the time. It was coming close to the afternoon. She had probably been awake since the morning. I don't know how she could be such a morning person. Waking up before noon was like death to me, unfortunately, I had to constantly wake up early for interviews, traveling and the studio during working periods. Thankfully, I had this break. Enough time to spend with my family, my friends and most importantly, Mira.
Getting up from the bed, I walked over to the mirror and just stared at myself with a pout. My hair dangled over my eyes, blocking my vision partially. I swept my short locks away and rubbed my eyes before making my way to the bathroom. I brushed away all the alcohol from my teeth and breath before taking a long shower, with extremely hot water. I felt so f-cking dirty. My shower had to last for just over an hour. When I finally got out, I was feeling a little bit better. Before, I was having a hard time breathing and I felt sick to my stomach, but now I was basically back to myself, but with a slight headache.
Once I was all dressed for the day, I left the bedroom for the first time to look for Mira. I had spent all day in with her and then all night with my friends. There was no telling what my buddies and I were up to last night. I remember basically nothing about the night before, which was probably a good thing. Since, Mira and I spent most of the day inside yesterday, I wanted to spend one of our final days in Melbourne out. I've showed her around before but there were so may more places that I wanted her to see.
When I walked out of the room, the first place I thought to look for Mira was in the living area. I found her there, but not the way I expected. I expected to see her watching television with her feet propped up on my mum's funky coffee table, but she wasn't. Instead, she was sitting on the couch beside my mother. My mother had her hands wrapped around her as she cried into her shoulder. My heart stopped for a brief second with worry. What the hell had happened while I was asleep? I quickly walked up to my mother and my girlfriend. "What's wrong," I asked sincerely.
My mum for some reason gave me a very dirty look. Her glare kind of scared me. It was the glare that she always gave me when I was younger when I seriously f-cked something up. I wasn't sure what the hell I could've done, though. I've been pretty good to Mira lately, other than a few mistakes that we clearly talked about and worked out. Everything was severely peculiar as I just stood there and stared at the two of them as they basically ignored me. "What did I do," I asked with the utmost confusion. I needed answers.
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I guess me saying something else was the last straw because Mira finally let my mother go. She got up and rushed past me without even looking at me. Of course, I began to pursue her to see what the hell was going on but my mother called out my name. I stopped in my tracks and turned to face my blank faced mum. She instructed me to sit down in a very sharp voice. My stomach turned. Something told me that I had really f-cked up, but f-cking how!?
"She knows that you cheated on her last night," my mum finally explained. What the f-ck was she talking about? I hadn't cheated on Mira with anyone since we had our talk. She didn't want me touching any other girl and I was going to obey her. The last thing that I wanted was to lose her. My mouth ran dry and I began trying to rack my brain for any amount of information from last night. I stared at my mother with a blank face.
Slowly, things began to piece together. I remembered going to my favorite nightclub in Melbourne with four of my high school buddies. We smoked and drank a lot in the V.I.P. sections. They had some girls come up, but I was having no part of it. I just drank to myself and listened to the music that the DJ was playing, critiquing every song. I was all alone in the corner by myself, but a girl did approach me. She sat on my lap and started telling me how she enjoyed my last album. It was very awkward for me because she was coming on to me and I was so f-cking drunk. I remembered her kissing my neck. At first, it was numb to me. I didn't feel anything, but then it dawned on me. Mira. I couldn't hurt her. I pushed the girl off of me. She walked away furiously and all of my friends thought I was crazy for turning her down.
The rest of the night, I spent it drinking until I was flat out drunk which led to me to have a hangover this morning. Now I was stuck in this predicament. I covered my face with my hands and cursed loudly, not caring that my mother was sitting right beside me. Why the hell was I such a f-ck up!? How could I be so stupid!? I shouldn't even gave that girl a chance to f-cking touch me! "Arden...," my mother asked worriedly.
"I didn't have sex with anyone else! We just made out and I pushed her away before anything could happen! I didn't want to hurt Mira! I just messed up for a few minutes, mum," I protested. I was guilty of tears coming to my eyes. This time I probably really messed up things with Mira. I couldn't blame her if she left, but I'd be hurt as hell if she did. My mum just stared at me and sighed as I began crying to myself. "I swear, mum, I didn't mean to hurt her," I kept telling my mother over and over again. It was like I was a broken record.
My mother put her hand on my back and began rubbing it soothingly as I covered my face with my hands. I didn't want to appear so weak. It was the first time my mother had ever seen me seriously cry since I was an adult. I usually held in my feelings, especially around my family. My mother was seeing a whole other side of me at the moment. "Arden, I'm going to tell you this, and I'm only telling you this because I love and I care about you. I care about the woman that you're going to grow into. I understand you're young now. You're in your early twenties. You still feel invincible. I get it. But you really need to get yourself together. Mira is a beautiful girl with a heart that's way too big and lenient for you to keep toying with. Either you want her or you don't. The way you're being now reminds me so much of your father. You're going to end up just like him if you don't get yourself together."
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My father. That was the last person I wanted to be like. He was a worthless piece of sh-t. I knew that and I hadn't even laid eyes on the man in my entire life. My mother didn't know that her telling me that made me feel like complete sh-t. If I was anything like him then I was pretty much setting myself up to be a failure and a coward. That was the last thing I wanted to be. The hatred for my father was real, and just thinking that I could possibly be like him made me want to hate myself. If my mother felt like I was similar to him then that was just a testament on how much I really needed to get myself together for Mira. I had to stop making stupid mistakes. I had to get help so I could be the best girlfriend to Mira, especially if I wanted a future with her.
"I have to go apologize," is all I said to my mother. I excused myself and made my way to my room where I'm sure Mira was. Slowly, I walked into the room. Mira was packing her bags as if her life depended on it.
"Don't even say anything. It's truly over this time, Arden! I mean it!"
"No, Mira. You have to understand. Just let me explain," I begged as I walked towards her. She backed away from me and I stopped in my tracks. "Mira, last night, I forgot everything that happened and it all just came to me. I'm so sorry. I feel like a piece of sh-t. Last night, I went out and I got drunk obviously. This girl started kissing on me but I pushed her off of me. I didn't kiss her back. I didn't want her. Things got out of hand and I shouldn't have even let her get that close to me in the first place. It was my fault, kitten. I wasn't thinking. I had the alcohol in my system, but even being drunk, I couldn't cheat on you. I don't want to hurt you, Mira. I don't want to break your heart. I meant everything I said the other night when we were looking at the sky. You're the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me so please just don't walk out of my life. Please, just give me one more chance. One more chance and if I f-ck it up again then you have every right to leave me and never talk to me again."
Mira didn't look at me but she stared at her half packed suitcase. I was basically on my knees at the moment begging her not to leave. "Why should I give you one more chance," she asked unmoved by my tears and begging. I guess she was fed up with me. My constant bullsh-t had finally ran her down. No matter how sincere I was, words couldn't shake Mira. My actions had to help persuade her that I was worth having another chance.
I swallowed hard as I stayed down on my knees. "You should give me another chance because I'm willing to change. When we get back to America, I'm going to stop drinking and I'm going to start seeing a therapist. This will never happen again, kitten. You just have to have faith in me. I know it might sound like the same old song, but I'm willing to take action this time. I want to be the best I can be for you. I want to make you happy. I don't want to see you cry because of me anymore, Mira. I want to get along with your family and friends. For now on, you're my main focus. I'm going to stop throwing parties at my house. I'm going to make you proud to be my girl, Mira."
"I don't know, Arden. I want to believe you, but you've let me down time and time again."
"Not this time. I'm sick of the bullsh-t. I just want us to be happy."
"If you mean this, I want you to take action as soon as possible. If you're serious about this, we're going to take the first plane back to Los Angeles and you're going to get help immediately. You're going to find yourself a psychiatrist and you're going to stop drinking."
"I mean it. We can leave today. I'll do anything." I stood up from the floor and looked over to her suitcase. "You can pack your bags and I can pack mine and we can start brand new."
We both began packing in silence. I had gotten lucky this time, but I knew this was truly my last chance. There was no room to f-ck up anymore for me. I had made far too many mistakes and now it was my turn to fix them. Mira had been the perfect girlfriend but now it was my turn. This was my chance to show Mira, my mother and everyone who had saw all of the bad in me that I could truly be a good person. I could be sober, faithful and sane. It was possible. I just needed to get some therapy. I needed to get know who I really was and I needed to find out quick. Soon, I'd be on tour and everything would be heightened. Temptation would be all around me.
There was quick goodbyes to my mother, my brother, nephew and even my sister before Mira and I left on my private jet. The plane ride was silent but Mira sat beside me and she held my hand. "I believe in you," she told me quietly. That was the only thing she said and that was the only thing I needed to hear. She believed in me so nothing else mattered.
I dropped her off home and then went to mine. Jet lag was heavy and deep. I decided to get some rest, but I made it my job to call the best therapist in Los Angeles when I had awoke from my slumber. My whole life was about to shift and this time it was for good and not bad. These sessions I had with my therapist were really going to test me. The sobriety was really going be a challenge. Alcohol that was once my best friend was about to become a distant memory. It actually pained me to think that I was going to let one of my favorite things go. The only bright sides of knowing that alcohol was about to be eliminated from my life, was knowing that it'd better me as a person and the relationship between me and Mira, and also hangovers were about to be erased from my life.
Here was a new beginning. A new me. I wasn't my father. I'd never be like him and I was going to prove that to everyone who believed so.
-
Was Mira right for giving her one last chance?
Do you think Arden can redeem herself?
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