Chapter 9 – I Will Let You Go

The Book of Love – Peter Gabriel

"Spencer."

I kept my head buried in the History book. "Not now, mom."

Mom huffed. "You don't want any dinner?"

"Maybe next time, mom. Now, please, can I get back to studying?"

There was a silence but I still got the feeling someone was behind me.

"Is that anyway to talk to your mom?"

It took me a moment to register the voice but when it sank in, my lips quivered and curved into a smile.

I spun around and launched out of the chair, shamelessly ran over to him and jumped into his arms.

"Woah, little bro," He chuckled as he stumbled back with me in his arms. His back knocked the edge of the door's frame and I jumped down.

"What are you doing here, Kai?"

He smiled, "Came to see you, Spence."

I cocked my head. I wasn't stupid, "Say that again, and maybe the truth this time?"

He smirked and put his hands into his pocket, walking forward, causing me to walk back to the bed. "I've kind of been suspended for a week."

I rolled my eyes, hardly surprised that he did. The most of Kai's high school years were spent in his room on weekdays after being sent home for smoking something. "What was it this time?"

He smiled sheepishly, and kicked his right foot a little, "Ecstasy in the nurse's office."

I sighed with shallow disappointment and shook my head, "Does mom and dad know?"

He shook his head, "They just think that we have a week off before finals."

I shook my head again, "You are really something, Kai." He looked down and smiled, ruffling my hair with his hands and moving to my dresser, rustling through my things.

"So, what's been going on with you?"

What hasn't been going on with me? I bit my lip. I wanted to say nothing but me and Kai never lied to one another. "I'm sort of, kind of, in a relationship...I think."

Kai span a round with playfully surprised eyes, "You're in a relationship?" he came over and sat next to me on the bed, "With who?"

I shrugged, "It depends on who you ask."

He raised an eyebrow but seemed to catch the message, "So if I asked mom and dad they'd say..."

"Karla."

Kai snorted, "Karla has been one of your best friends since middle school, Mom and Dad would never fall for that."

It stayed quiet and Kai caught that message as well. He sighed and placed a brotherly hand on my shoulder, "So I'm guessing Mom and Dad still aren't the best of parents."

"We're no Brady Bunch I can tell you that." I answered with a scent of sarcasm piping off of the words.

"Hey, I know better than anyone how out of touch mom and dad can be. I mean, if they had paid as much attention to me as they did their jobs, maybe I wouldn't have gotten into smoking weed." His eyes narrowed, "You're not..."

I blinked once, then another time before I caught it, "No." I answered quickly, "God, no. I don't do," I snickered, "drugs."

He nodded stiffly, "Good." He face lit up again. "So who's the lucky gal?"

"Well..." I trailed, "It's not really a girl."

Kai raised both his eyebrows, "Oh, so you finally realized you're gay?"

I rolled my eyes and huffed, "The next person who asks me that gets a kick to the groin."

He raised his hands in defense, "Okay, killer." He chuckled. He never took my threats seriously.

I rolled my eyes, "So what does Pleasant Acres' returning Bad Boy have planned?"

He shrugged, "Honestly, just the wedding."

I blinked and he caught wind of my confusion. He raised an eyebrow and slightly chuckled, "Mr. and Mrs. Littman are renewing their vows tomorrow."

"What?"

"Yeah, dude. Did your boytoy forget to mention that?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, "It seems he did." Even Ethan, someone you forgets everything should have remembered something of this level of importance.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to call him, yell at him and then take things from there."

He chuckled, "Some things never change."

I shrugged with a smile. Kai got to his feet and patted me on the head. "Goodnight, little brother."

I scowled and moved his hand, "Goodnight, idiot boy."

He laughed before leaving my room and closing the door.

On Sunday – like I planned, I got ready to head to the Littman's wedding but not before I called Ethan and screamed at him and just like always, He apologized and promised to save me a seat in the front row.

Just when I was about to leave – my mother informed me that they were having an all day family event to welcome back Kai for the week. I wanted to say no but I would have been just been wasting my breath.

So I sat through breakfast where mom scolded me for not wearing proper breakfast attire (whatever that was). I barely made it through lunch when Dad scolded me for staying out late and I though I was about to lose it at dinner when they both pressured me to bring Karla around more – who they still thought was my girlfriend.

Through all of this someone was missing. The very person who we were doing this for.

.

He was MIA all day long, and practically threw me to the wolves covered in red meat.

When dinner was over, I announced that I was going to The Littman's reception that started shortly after eight. Mom and Dad agreed for me to go but gave me a curfew – one that I wasn't planning on following but nodded my head to give them a false sense of authority over me.

I had to call Kai when Ethan didn't pick up his phone to get the directions and after he led me to a strip club – twice, he finally stopped messing around and directed me to a big tent near the park where The Littman's were.

I got out of my car and walked into a heavily cream clad tent with lights scanning the walls. A huge table was in the middle where I suppose get were seated with other smaller tables surooding it.

Everyone was either drinking or dancing to the slow music that was playing.

My eyes got a glimpse of Mrs. Littman who glowed and shined in her sparkly white wedding gown that covered all of her body and swept the ground with its silky bottom.

I mowed the room, searching for Ethan but found another boy surprisingly and confusingly here.

He came up to me first, dressed in a white tuxedo that complimented his shining eyes and gelled hair.

He came closer and basically towered over me. Either I was extremely short or he was pretty tall and it had to be the latter seeing that Ethan was a decent height and I was just a few inches shorter than him.

"What are you doing here, Austin?"

He smirked, "Hello to you too, Mr. Haynes."

I rolled my eyes, "That doesn't answer my question."

His smirk deepened, "I was invited by Ethan...and I brought Piper with me."

"Naturally." I huffed, "Where is said boy?"

Someone lit up in his eyes, I didn't know what it was but they seem to sparkle, "With said girl."

I narrowed my eyes but didn't say anything. I brushed passed him and continued my hunt for Ethan. Only this time, I wasn't searching to be in his company, I more curious to find out what Austin meant, even though I knew what he meant to imply.

'Excuse Me' stayed at my tongue the entire time I was brushing pass the attendees until I finally found Josh and Kai sitting at an otherwise vacant table together.

Kai was the first to catch a glimpse of me and mumbled something to Josh who looked up at me rather stunned to see me.

I folded my arms over my chest and stared like death into the eyes of Kai who just sat there with this little smile set steady at his lips.

"Hey, baby bro. What's good in the hood?"

"You left me in that house with those sharks we call parents and you're asking me 'what's good'?"

He shrugged his shoulders and slightly snickered, "Sorry, Spence but no way I was spending the entire day with Mom and Dad."

I groaned, "You could have taken me with you."

He cooed, "Aw, I'm sorry mi hermano. Next time I won't forget you, I promise."

I rolled my eyes at is empty promise and looked over to the other boy, "Hey Joshy," I greeted with a smile, "have you seen Ethan?"

"Yeah," he smiled and pointed to another opening in the tent behind them, "he went out there with some chick."

I nodded but said nothing else. I just went around the boys and slipped through the opening.

Right there, not too far from where I was standing, Ethan and Piper were sitting. She sat on a tree stump in her pink knee length dress and sparkling black pumps while Ethan sat up against a tree's trunk in his all black tuxedo. They were talking and giggling and while doing so, he would ever so often let his foot brush against hers and she would seem to love the contact they had with one another.

After ten minutes just watching them, Ethan's head just missed and spun in my direction.

The moment his eyes connected with mine, he shot to his feet and dusted himself off. Piper's eyes flashed of worry at his sudden movements and they followed his befuddled gaze to me. Her eyes then mirrored his.

Ethan jogged over and placed an unwanted kiss on my cheek instead of my lips; mainly because I shifted my head so that it would miss.

His smile fell, "Hey, Spence. I thought you weren't coming anymore."

My eyes blinked over to Piper who was fidgeting while watching us, "I noticed."

Ethan ran his hand through his hair and chuckled nervously, "We were just talking."

"Well don't let me stop you."

He sighed, obviously sensing my crude and daring tone, "It's not what you think, Spence."

"Okay."

"Piper and I aren't doing anything wrong."

"Okay."

"Please stop saying 'okay'."

"Okay."

He hung his head down in defeat, grabbed me by one hand and led me into the tent – leaving Piper outside by herself. Couldn't say I was feeling any sympathy though.

He led us to the middle of the floor right next to Mr. and Mrs. Littman and started swaying us back and forth gently. His hand sat on my hip and mine clutched his back but it didn't feel all warm and mushy as it normally did. After a while in silence, I just had to say something.

"Ethan?" I called and he mumbled a response. "Promise me something?"

He retracted away from me and eyed me carefully but with soft, regret-filled eyes, "Anything." He mumbled with a crooked smile.

A smile that my face could not hold. Piper's smiling image was still ever ablaze in my head and didn't want to leave. "If you ever...ever feel that you don't want to be with me-"

He sighed, "Spencer..."

"No," I said quickly, "Let me finish." I swallowed and kept both eyes on him, "If you ever feel that someone else has caught your eye; or recaptures them or that you need something that I can't give you...let me go."

He stopped rocking us back and forth and stared at me in bewilderment. His eyes almost seemed to hold fear. "I won't."

I shook my head, "That's beside the point. If you do...let me go." there was a stiffening silence, "Say it and promise me." I softly commanded.

He readily opened his mouth to speak and it would seem he was about to fulfill my request; but, almost as fast as his lips parted, they connected again. His jaw clenched, his mouth reopened and with as sigh sounding of defeat he muttered, "I will let you go. I Promise."

I smiled, a soft one, "Thank you." I mumbled before placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

After a few moments of awkward silence, I excused myself and retreated to the outside of the tent. I stood near its front entrnace and looked up at the stars and the moon. I didn't know what to feel at the moment. I didn't know if asking Ethan to promise me those things scared him straight off of Piper's path or that it worked to confide in her more. And that scared me.

"Trouble in Paradise?"

I exhaled quite loudly at the voice from behind me, "I'm in no mood for your charm right now, Austin."

He chuckled from behind and came to stand on the side of me, following my eyes to the sky, "Beautiful Sunday Night isn't it?"

"I've seen better ones."

I saw him smirk from the corner of my eye, "I noticed you and Ethan and I'm thrilled you two are finally together."

For a split second, I tense up a bit. Either he was extremely observant or we were very obvious. And that was saying something since we always did that sort of thing together.

"It's hard to tell if you are being sarcastic or if you're genuine and for your sake I hope it's the latter because you suck at the former."

"Woah," he chuckled, "Feisty tonight aren't we?"

I turned to meet him, "Is there something I can help you with?" I asked with a slight tinge of agitation. It wasn't his fault that I was angry but he was sure adding to it.

He looked taken off guard by my brash attitude but recovered quickly and put a little smile.

"Look, Austin." I barked, "Do you know the reason why I like Ethan and won't leave Ethan for you even if he cheated?"

He opened his mouth to reply but I snapped my fingers and he closed it.

"That was rhetorical." I growled. "That reason being Ethan is complete idiot, impulsive, a moron, a horn dog and a little racist but he is one hundred percent himself in every way possible. He flirts, he's bold, he's athletic and he's so, so honest. He's never tried to impress me by being someone he isn't," I glared, "Unlike you."

He reopened his mouth but I shot him a glare that made him rethink talking, "Austin, I don't want some charming date that turns out to be a douche boyfriend. If there is any chance of us happening which is dismal and basically, please do yourself a favor and be you."

"Ouch." He murmured with a slight chuckle. His eyes were softer – sadder than when we I first saw them.

I sighed a little and brought the back of my hand to his cheek, "You are really cute Austin; but, you are trying too hard and it's not attractive."

His jaw clenched, "Gotcha."

After a few awkward seconds, I turned back to the entrance, "I better go ...it's been a long day and even longer night."

I started walking in before he spoke, "Oh, and Spencer?"

I turned around to meet his eyes, they were a bit more hardened and tense, possibly from my blatant rejection, "If Ethan is as beautiful as you describe him, you have to remember something. The beautiful Ones hurt you every time."

A smile slowly formed at my lips, "Goodnight to you......and the Prince song you stole those lyrics from."

His eyes slightly widened when he was caught but smiled, "You're something, kid."

I flashed him a small smile before spinning around and reentering the tent. Ethan wasn't where I left him and it would only get increasingly more difficult and to find him around this time. Everyone had drinks in their hands.

I caught a glimpse of Mrs. Littman sitting with a friend at the main table so I walked over. The moment she saw me, she said something quietly to her friend and she smiled up at me.

"Spencer," she said with cheery flare, "Are you having fun?"

I faked a smile, there was no need to bring her down, this was her night, "Yeah, it's, uh, amazing; but, have you seen Ethan anywhere? I can't seem find him."

She thought for a second, "I saw him grab his keys and leave," her smile dropped a bit and was replaced by a more somber look, "come to think of it, he looked pretty depressed. Did something happen?"

I really needed to talk to someone about this but she was hardly the one to with, "No, we're fine." I lied.

I got the feeling she could tell I was lying but decided to let it go with a gentle nod and a wink of an eye. I smiled in return and span around, made sure my keys were in my pocket and left.

I'm not usually the one to keep on looking at their phone, but I'd admit while I was driving home, I looked at least twelve times and just when I had given up hope, it rang. I stopped the car and parked on the side of the road and picked it up.

It wasn't the desired person I wanted though, "Hey, Jake." I sighed.

He took a moment, "Try to control all that enthusiasm." He sarcastically remarked.

I smiled a bit and rolled my eyes, " Where the hell have you guys been and is there something wrong?"

"No, but I need you to come over at Ethan's right this second."

"Why? Is Ethan there?"

"No," my heart sunk a little, "he told me he's staying by his Uncle for the night to...cool off or something." He took few brief moments of silence, "Did anything go wrong?"

"No..."

He sighed too, "Okay, but get here, like, now."

I huffed and nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see visual confirmation, "I'll be there in thirty." He hung-up first and I followed suit before spinning around and heading towards The Littman abode.

When I got there, Jake's car was clearly parked in the driveway and sat next to Karla's with Russo's jeep parked behind them.

"What is going on." I mumbled to myself before I stepped out and made sure my doors were locked. Before I could even knock on the door, it swung open and Abby poked her head out.

I gave her a confused look and an even more riddled one when she fully opened the door. She was in white - pure white with her blonde hair pinned up and makeup lightly applied o her face.

"Abby, what's going on and why are you dressed like this?"

"Because," Karla said as she appeared from the other room dressed in a dress that was near identical to Abby's. She had a bouquet in one hand and a lipstick smile at her lips, "we are ready for a wedding." She concluded.

She placed the bouquet in my hand and grabbed me by the hand. My eyebrows shot up, "Well you're a couple of horus late. Mr. and Mrs. Littman's wedding is over."

Karla huffed exaggeratingly, "You know, sometimes I think that the only reason you look smart is because Ethan is just so much more stupid."

"I'd defend that if it wasn't slightly true."

Abby chuckled on the side of me as the led me up the stairs that was mysteriously trimmed with white streamers.

We walked in silence down the hall until I got to Ethan's bedroom door where Russo stood in front wearing a tux.

"Okay, this is getting way too Twilight Zone for me. Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?"

Karla smiled and before she and Russo communicated through sly looks, winks and chuckles.

I growled as a consequence of the growing agitation that was building in my stomach, "Guys, can you please tell me what is going on before I snap?"

"Okay, Mr. Littman."

"Wha—"

I didn't get to finish. Russo opened the door and revealed the inside of Ethan's room. Or a room that I thought was his. Because unlike the regular standing of Ethan's domain, this room was clean, smelled like vanilla and was clad in white everywhere. Streamers hang from the ceilings, balloons were bouncing idly on the floor, and the bed was repositioned near the closet wall so there was a huge open space in the middle.

Jake's back was towards me and he was talking softly to someone in front of him.

"Jake?" I called out. The two boys looked directly at me. I hardly noticed Jake's attire, mostly because my eyes were stuck on Ethan.