I care about Rylee. I do, I don't know where it came from and I don't know how I do but I care about her. Maybe it's the fact that she isn't trying to get or keep my attention or maybe it's the fact that she willingly helped me but I care about her.

Hearing her open up to me about this sociopath is making me realize two things. The first one being that I know I care about her, the second one being that she deserves more. And that's the reason me taking her back to him is killing me.

I faked not being in pain this morning so I could make her breakfast and hoped that she'd stay for a little while. But I think she's realized that she cares about me more than just what she thinks, and that she's opening her eyes.

"So where too?" I ask pulling out of the driveway.

"North Main Street, I'll show you how to get there." She tells me as I nod and cover up the throbbing pain in my foot. I drive with music playing quietly as the silence between us becomes unbearable.

"You know you can call me whenever right?" I ask her as she nods. She rubs her hand through her hair as she shows me those bring green orbs and holds a baseball cap in her lap with her coat.

"I know Jax and I will be soon. We'll have to go get coffee or something." She tells me as I nod. I hate coffee with a passion but if she loves it I'll make and exception and pretend to drink it.

"I hate this." I finally tell her as I pull up to a red light in town. "What?" She asks as I nod.

"I fucking hate taking you somewhere I don't know that you'll be safe at." I tell her as she stares at me. She takes a deep sigh before she grabs my hand in hers.

"Jax pull over." She tells me as I cut on my blinker and park on the side of the street. "Look at me" she tells me as I look over at her.

"Jax, I'll be okay. He won't hurt me, he'll be upset but it will be fine. I promise you, pinky promise you that I'm fine and if I feel like I'm not I'll call you and you can come and get me or I'll drive to you or we'll meet somewhere. No matter what I know that I'll have you Jax and that's good because I know you care about me and I care about you too. Keep me up to date with your foot too, I can help with that." She tells me as she rubs my hand.

I've been fighting my urge to kiss her since last night. It's crazy how I just know that I care about her, we didn't even know each other a day ago and now, I feel like she's partly mine and I know I shouldn't feel that way when she's not. I've never been like this with girls or in relationships, it's always been the women who got attached, but now I feel like a woman in this situation.

"Fuck" I mutter under my breath when she's leaned closer to me to talk. "Jax, what's really wrong?" She asks leaning over the console to me.

"Nothing. I'll take you back." I admit to her lying my ass off as I pull back into traffic. And it's quiet for five more minutes before she starts with clearing her throat, "Just turn left at the light and then left into the parking lot." She tells me as I nod.

I pull into where she tells me and we're let through by security when she shows her ID. I park where she tells me and cut off the car before she looks over.

"Thanks for everything Ry" I tell her as she smiles. "Thank you for everything Jax" she tells me back as she leans over and kisses my cheek.

"You're an amazing man." She tells me rubbing my hand before she pulls open the door to get out and I stop her. I get out and grab my keys before walking over to the passengers side door and opening it as she smiles at me.

"How gentlemen like of you." She tells me as I smile and lean down to hug her. She hugs me back and rubs my back in her hand before pulling away and I just know I'll probably not see her again for a while.

But when she pulls away I don't let go of her hips. I hold both of them in my palms as I stare at her. "Jax." She whispers as I hold her still.

"Ry, I don't-" I go to start as I hear her name being yelled as we turn cutting me off from telling her not to go. "RJ!" He yells when I control my anger.

"Shit." She whispers as I look at him and fume. He looks like a dick, he just looks like a pile of shit.

"Hey stop, it's okay." She tells me rubbing my chest before taking my hands off her hips as I look over and see her fucktard. He's short and small, I could kill him in a punch.

"Who the fuck is this?" He yells across the parking lot coming towards us. Rylee steps out and starts walking to him when I take the same steps right behind her.

"You fucker." I demand under my breath as I go behind her. She stops in front of him and I stand right beside her towering over the small guy as he looks between us.

"A day, a fucking day and you've done this?" He asks while pointing to me. I step in front of her and grab his throat before he can say anything else.

"Don't talk about her like that you little shit." I tell him as I grab his collar and jack him up.

"Jax stop it." She tells me pulling my hands away from his collar. "Jax I'm fine. Thank you for the ride." She tells me pulling me away as I release my grip.

"Jacob we need to talk. Jax, I'm okay." She tells me placing her hand on my back rubbing in under her hand. She pushes Jacob around as they start walking away and she turns and smiles at me.

"Thanks Jax." She mouths as she waves and walks away with him instead of me and I'm pissed beyond compare. Rylee will be mine and I'm not giving up on that hope.

___

When we get into the apartment the whole mood is intense. "What the fuck did you go do?!" He yells at me as I close the door.

"Oh you piece of shit. I didn't do anything. Jax is a friend from years ago and I needed somewhere to go so I stayed with him and Bee." I tell him honestly as I make it sound a little better than what it was by lying.

"With him and Bee?" He asks as I nod. "Yes, his roommate named Bee, I didn't do anything wrong and he's just my friend!" I explain as I stare at Jacob.

After seeing and being with Jax, I know something has shifted in my feelings for Jac. I know I care about him, and I always will but Jax made me feel like I could tell him anything and it was okay, and that he had my back no matter what.

"So you didn't kiss him or sleep around?" He asks as I shake my head no. "Why would you ask that, I'd never do that to you. I don't make those mistakes." I spit out bitterly remembering what happened two years ago. He went on a bachelors party and he slept with a girl and cheated on me, I forgave him since there was video proof of him completely drunk and he told me he didn't even remember it happening. So I forgave him and it's never happened again, I have trust issues because of him and I've never cheated on him once. Not even when I desperately wanted to kiss Jax my subconscious reminds me.

"Fine. Then we need to have a talk about what you said last night." He tells me as I sigh.

"Let me clear up what I meant. Either you get your damn shit together and pay off your loans without my help or I'm leaving. I want to be engaged and married within two years and if that doesn't happen I'm leaving you." I tell him as he stands stunned.

"Oh and I'm going to see my parents and family soon without your permission because I make my own money and your loans are not my responsibility anymore. I'm sick and tired of helping you and praying you do what's right when you don't." I demand as I move out of the way. I go into our bedroom and strip out of my clothing before changing into a clean pair of leggings with a long sleeve pullover and clean socks. I slip on a random pair of my sneakers with the fit as I start on my hair.

I'm curling it in the bathroom when he walks in and sits on the side of the tub. "RJ" he whispers trying to get my attention as I continue spraying my hair with hairspray and curling it in place.

"RJ look at me" he tells me as I look at him through the mirror. "Baby I'm sorry. I know I haven't been saving the way I should and it's my fault. I do want to marry you, and start a family like we talked about but I'm not ready right now." He tells me as I stare.

"Not ready? I've waited for four years on you. What's more to be ready for?" I ask as he looks down at his hands latched together.

"I'm just not okay. And my loans come first you know that." He tells me as I turn around.

"They come first? What about me? Jacob I'm really trying to understand you on this but you're not making any type of decisions that make since to me! I have never left your side in years and tell me if I'm wrong but I feel like I'm your support system just as much as your mine. We do everything together including have sex, so what's the difference if we get engaged and married? Children in the future?" I ask him as he sighs.

"I'm not ready for any of that yet RJ." He tells me as tears whelp in my eyes. I put down my iron and cut it off before throwing my hair into a high ponytail and slipping some small pearl earrings on.

"That doesn't answer my question. Why?" I ask as I turn around. I hold back my tears and stare him directly in the face as he looks back. He opens his mouth to answer and closes it again when I realize he really doesn't have any answers besides he's not ready and that's complete bullshit.

I nod as I look away from him and go back into our room as I pack my bag. I pack enough of my clothes to last me a week and then I take my scrubs and work shoes along with my makeup bag. I grab my straightener from the bathroom as he sees my gigantic bag and I pack everything together.

"RJ baby don't go." He tells me as he tries to wrap his arms around me and I push him away from me.

"No. You can't give me a good reason of why we aren't more serious. The loans and you're not ready aren't clear to me, how are you not ready? Why? I have all these questions about us and at this point I'd rather not live with you while I figure it out." I tell him as I immediately grab my wallet and keys in the bedroom.

I make my way to the front door as he sits down on the couch and I open the front door. "Will you at least call me or text me so I know you'll be fine. And tell me where you go?" He asks as I sigh and then nod.

"RJ I do love you." He tells me as I walk out the door.

"It just doesn't feel like it." I tell him shutting the door as I break down. I'm crying my eyes out as I get to the elevator and wipe my tears on my pullover.

Why is this so hard? Why do I feel like this? I don't know, I just don't know.