AZRIEL

Azriel laid in his enormous bed, staring up at the wooden ceiling.

The sun broke through the small windows in his cabin, letting him know that it was time to get up, but he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed.

He stayed up the entire night, his mind replaying the desirable hunger he had only felt hours before with his mate. Her lingering touches were like ghosts on his skin, still feeling the warmness of her body caressing him.

When he arrived back home, the scent of her - rosemary and berries, stained his clothes; evident for anyone walking by to know that he was with the Daughter of Dawn in a more intimate way. He immediately took them off, chucking them somewhere onto the floor. He couldn't bring himself to give a shit at the moment.

He laid naked in his bed, closing his eyes and resisting the urge to jerk off. But his roaring mind, along with his throbbing erection, were hounding him, hungry for some sort of friction.

Seconds later, Azriel wrapped his hand around himself, his cock solid and dripping for more. He groaned loudly at the touch, already on the brink of completion.

His body came alive at the thought of Auriella, his blood boiling with undeniable lust. He wanted to have her in his bed, ripping her clothes off to have his tongue on her sex, tasting the sweetness of her. He wanted her to beg for more of him before he devoured her whole. He craved to be inside of her, exploring every inch while she moaned his name.

His imagination ran wild with Auriella, consuming all other thoughts with her.

Azriel couldn't help but think of how she would look on top of him, riding him. He would drag his hands down her naked body, memorizing every beautiful part of her. His lips would lick and nibble on those pebbled breasts, writhing underneath his hands. He would pound himself deeper into her, feeling the walls of her tighten around him until they both reached the peak of oblivion.

He would fuck her until they were both unable to take it anymore.

The Spymaster relieved himself three times, finishing with her name on his lips each time before he came. He gripped the sheets with his free hand, sweat beading down his forehead from the pleasure. His body became limp, grunting as he took his hand off of his wasted self.

He closed his eyes for a moment, staying in the disheveled state.

The sun shined directly on his bare skin, making him cover his eyes with his arm. He let the warmth of the sun revive him, its touch tender and soothing. He calmed his mind, slowing his breathing, and thinking of something else other than his mate.

He didn't know how to explain this level of... whatever it was. It was as if he was drunk on her very being, begging for more. If she had asked for him to go further, he would have. They would have sealed their bond at that moment. He would have fucked her right on that piano, savoring her in the moonlight.

There wasn't a part of him that didn't want her.

For three years, she was all he thought about. Even his shadows whispered her name into his ear, constantly reminding him of his mate. He would take out his raging desire on inanimate objects, relieving his pent-up emotions that he tried so hard to suppress.

He was glad that he had his companions and his duty as Spymaster to distract him from his clustered mind. But once he was alone, there was nothing stopping his thoughts from becoming unholy and inappropriate.

It was exhausting at times, having to control himself around others, even around his High Lord and High Lady. Sometimes, he wanted to leap out of a window because he couldn't stand seeing them together.

There were a few times where he wanted to say "fuck it" and winnow to the Dawn Court to meet with his mate, to introduce himself properly to her, or to just get a glimpse of her. If Auriella hadn't come to the Night Court sooner... Azriel didn't even want to know what would have happened.

The Spymaster took a deep breath, cleaning himself up with a rag that was beside his bed. He walked out of his cabin without anything but a towel, heading to the waterfall that was only steps away.

The rushing water filled his ears with bliss, aching to dive under the coldness of it. He tugged off his towel before going in, swimming beneath the gleaming waves. He swam all the way behind the waterfall, before coming up to the shallow surface. He grunted, rolling out his muscles and moving his wet hair from his face.

Little to no light showed behind there, letting him hide behind the downpour.

Azriel enjoyed heading underneath the waterfall if only to have a moment's peace from his duties and responsibilities. He liked having a place to himself, relaxing in the roaring of the water that let him clear his mind and let him have a few minutes to breathe.

But most of all, he liked going behind there to let out his every word onto the concrete wall that was filled with them. He would use a rock to etch out his thoughts that he wouldn't dare say aloud. He wouldn't even think about them to prevent Rhys or anyone else from hearing them.

Will I ever be good enough for anyone?

Is this all that my life has to offer?

Will I ever become something more to someone?

His doubts. The wall was covered in them, reminding him of the emptiness that he held inside of him. He yearned to have that one person beside him; someone who would be beside him for the rest of his life.

Morrigan will never want me.

She doesn't think of me as I think of her.

I don't deserve her.

As he stared at those words, he couldn't help but look away. Morrigan. She was the only woman he thought about for centuries, the woman he would protect to the ends of the earth. She was someone who occupied his mind, making him smile or sent him into a fit of silent rage.

She had made her point that she was never going to be with him, but it didn't matter. Azriel still wanted to show her that he cared, even when he knew that she could handle herself.

Daughter of Dawn. Mate.

Auriella. Mate.

Mate.

He had written those words to let them sink into his mind. When he came back to the Night Court after the war, it was the first thing he did, still unable to process the realization. His shadows had whispered her name, again and again, repeating it as if it were a song.

Azriel stared at the words now, picturing the future. His mind was filled with wonder and his heart fluttered at the thought of her accepting the bond. A smile made a way to his lips as he stared at her name, craving for something that he wanted for so long.

And he wondered if she craved the same.

The Spymaster grabbed the rock that sat on a small ledge, letting his next set of words pour out from his mind and onto his wall of thoughts.

***

Once Azriel finished washing himself off, he spent the rest of his morning sharpening truth-teller outside of his cabin, wearing nothing but trousers.

He cleaned the blade, making sure there were no indents or marks that could weaken it. His wings were pushed out, letting the sunlight hit them. He shivered in the warm heat, small bumps forming on his skin.

Azriel felt nothing but peace out in the forest, nature around every tree that was scattered around. He liked looking up at the blue sky, hearing the birds chirping through the gentle wind. Sure, there were times he missed the House of Wind, but the beauty of the outside mesmerized him.

But soon, his peace was interrupted.

Rhysand winnowed into the clearing, holding Nyx in his arms.

The child took one look at the Spymaster, showing his little toothy grin. Rhys set him down, letting him trudge through the grass. He tripped a couple of times, giggling as he made his way towards the Shadowsinger.

Azriel chuckled at the High Prince, lifting him into his arms.

"You didn't come by the House today. That's very rare of you." Rhys says, putting his hands in his pockets.

He shrugged, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, brother. Sometimes, I just want to enjoy the peace and quiet of the morning." He tells him.

Rhysand puts a hand up, "Save your excuses, Az. You know Cassian cannot hide his thoughts very well. He was quite ecstatic in the morning when he came by to see me. I couldn't help but see why for myself." He says, smirking.

Azriel releases a breath of frustration, resisting the urge of wanting to strangle his brother to death. Instead, he nodded, "I can't say I'm surprised, given that the both of you always want to know everything about my personal life." He says.

Rhys grins, "It's a way of entertaining ourselves, Az."

"How shitty of you, brother." He says, sitting back down on his log with the High Prince on his lap. The child coos, staring at Azriel's tattoos around his chest, picking at the permanent ink. His shadows circled around the kid, gaining his attention. Nyx tried to grab them with his small hands, but the darkness was quick to dodge.

He giggled once more.

The Spymaster stares at Nyx, seeing so much of Feyre in him. He had her lips, her nose, and the beautiful combination of his mother and father's eyes. He was extremely beautiful, able to put anyone into a trance.

Rhysand takes a deep breath, extending his hand out. A report appears.

He hands it to Azriel, who stares up at his brother, warily. "Is there something wrong? Why that look on your face?" He asked.

The High Lord of Night clears his throat, "There have been... unusual things happening around Prythian. Recently, citizens of every court have reported graves being dug up and remains are nowhere to be found. But, an exclusive team of Dawn soldiers have looked into it and found piles upon piles of remains in one place." He explains.

Azriel's shadows still, fearing the next words. "Where?" He asks.

Rhysand's eyes darken, the dark rage radiated out of him. He was trembling slightly as if the words he was about to say next terrified him.

"Where, Rhysand?" Azriel asked again, clutching the High Prince closer to him.

The High Lord clenched his fists, "Under the Mountain," He breathed.