My pups are now three days old. I'm tired since I have to be up every couple of hours to feel Amaris, but I love every second I get with my pups. I still feel weird about people holding Amaris but I'm slowly getting used to sharing him now. Dada holds him when I cuddle my other pups. Aria and Atlas love cuddling me, but they love their daddies arms more.

Amaris on the other hand definitely prefers me or dada, but if he's laying down he has to be in between Atlas and Aria or all three pups cry. But I've learnt that whenever all three pups are laid on the bed, Atlas is on the left, Aria on the right and Amaris in the middle. While they sleep separated, they don't seem to mind it as much, but when they know each sibling is close, they don't stop crying until they're closer or touching.

Alaric and Karter have been so good. They haven't slept in a couple nights so they can keep on track feeding our greedy pups. But they have naps throughout the day while the pups sleep as well. When my mates sleep we all make sure the triplets have a clean bum and have been fed so they don't fuss.

As much as they didn't want to, Karter and Alaric had to leave me on the first day of having Aria, Atlas and Amaris to get a few more vests and baby grows for Amaris and a Moses basket. Toto forced them to give me space so gave them that task while grandpa Arlo stayed with me. Every day since I gave birth my parents have come to see me with my brothers. All of them like having cuddles with the pups, I of course only let dada hold Amaris but only for short amount of times, that was when I went to the toilet.

I am severely protective of Amaris because of his size. Simply because he's so small and all the men in my life are massive and have bulging muscles other than grandpa Arlo. I grew up feeling intimidated from that, and I don't want my son feeling that. I only felt safe with my papa and dada and Karter. Then of course Alaric came and I got comfortable around him quickly. Now that I'm much older I don't feel as intimidated by my family, but when I was younger seeing uncle Theo, my grandpas and sometimes my fathers when they got angry, I hated feeling so small and intimidated.

Knowing Amaris is a runt like me, I know no matter his mindset he'll feel small and intimidated by the men in his life. I refuse to let my son feel the way I felt growing up because no one completely understood my mindset of being a runt. They understood that I'd be small because grandpa Arlo and Cara are both runts like me, but my mindset is much younger than my actual age, both of them have a mindset like everyone else in the family.

As bad as it sounds, I hope Amaris has the mindset of his age because I want him to understand what I don't. I want him to know the dangers of the world and for the love of god, I want him to understand sex so he knows. If he has a male mate he'll know if he gets pregnant, or if he has a dominant female mate he'll know to use protection until both are ready to have pups. All them kinds of things that I don't understand. I want my pup to be independent and not have to rely on anyone but himself because I know people won't be in his life forever. I won't be and I don't want him to rely on me because one day I know I'll have to leave him, whereas if he's independent, he won't be as devastated because I'm all he knows.

But if he has a mindset like me, I'll love and protect him with everything I have. Until my last breath I'll make sure he knows he's capable of doing what his siblings can do, he can go on runs on his own, but I'll make sure he knows how to mind link his family in case he needs help or is lost so we can track him and get him home safely. Who knows, maybe when he's older he'll find his mate like I did, on a run. When I found Alaric.

Both my mates walked into the bedroom while I had my pups asleep on me. Amaris in my arms, Aria and Atlas on my thighs where they slept soundly. But I know soon they'll be too big to lay like that, so I'll have to turn to other things. Of course Karter took his mini me and Alaric took his into their arms. While they sat next to me, I leaned my head on Alarics shoulder kissing Atlas' cheek.

"My little handsome boy." I whispered. My son smiled back but I know it was just wind, but seeing him like that made me smile. I turned my head to my daughter laying on her fathers shoulder, once again kissing her little chubby cheek and whispering, "My beautiful baby girl."

Pulling Amaris to my shoulder, I kissed his forehead muttering, "My special baby boy." Alaric and Karter smiled at me before each of them kissing my cheeks either side.

"We do make beautiful babies don't we?" Karter chuckled.

"I made these, you two just fertilised my egg." I shrugged smiling.

"Since when did you know that?" Karter asked.

"Wow, thanks for the encouragement. Nice to know you think I'm dumb." I muttered.

"That's not what I mean and you know it." He frowned. "I mean, you never listened in school, I'm just confused."

"I did listen." I glared at him. "I'm going to lay Amaris down." I got up and went into the nursery closing the door behind me. Since the pups' room is connected to ours through the bathroom, I closed the door so I didn't have to look at my mates.

I sat on the rocking chair and rocked myself a little, not only bringing Amaris comfort, but me as well. It's things like this that make me angry about who I am and how I am. I know it didn't seem like it, but I did listen in school sometimes. It wasn't all the time I'll admit that, but I did listen when I wanted to. After my arms started to ache a little, I got up and laid Amaris in the cot. Even though they sleep in Moses baskets in our bedroom, I do like laying my pups in their cots sometimes so it's not a massive change when they get bigger and move out of their Moses baskets.

Once again, I sat down on the rocking chair and rocked myself. I had my knees pulled to my chest where I laid my forehead on them and closed my eyes. Arms wrapped around my before pulling me up and sitting me on their lap while they sat on the chair. Alaric kissed my head gently pulling me from my curled up position.

"I love you." He smiled softly at me.

"I love you." I whispered, moving to straddle him and wrapping my arms around his neck where he laid his head on my chest.

"Don't let him get you down, okay? You know what he's like, he speaks before he thinks. A lot like Toto and grandpa kolby and Elias." Alaric stated.

"He made me feel dumb. I know I am, but he didn't need to make me feel like I don't know anything." I sighed resting my cheek on top of his head.

Alaric looked up at me and smiled. "You're not dumb, Nova. Karter just can't keep his mouth shut sometimes. Don't be afraid to stand up to anyone who makes you feel like that, because you are smarter than you think. Now please, give me a smile?"

I smiled and pressed my forehead against his. "I hate that you can get me to smile when I'm down."

"I wouldn't be a good mate if I couldn't. Why don't we go and get some ice cream? Leave Karter with the pups for an hour?"

"I don't want to leave my pups." I muttered. "You and Karter go, I'll stay with them. They need to feed soon anyway."

"Karter can do it. They'll be fine. You haven't left the house in three days, you need some fresh air." Alaric sighed.

"But Amaris needs me to breastfeed him. I can't do that if I'm twenty minutes away." I sighed. "We'll go another day, okay. When Amaris can drink from a bottle."

"Okay. Well you still need to get out of the house. Why don't we go see Theo, Mika and Miya. Be around family, a change in scenery other than the same four walls. I'll get Wyatt and Edith to meet us there as well if you want. A short walk to get some air and see other people other than me and Karter. You need it baby." Alaric suggested.

"Okay. Let me shower and get ready. Can you get Amaris dressed please?" I asked.

"Do I actually get to hold my son and change him?" He gasped.

"Shut up." I hit his shoulder lightly. "I always let you and Karter hold Amaris. You two just always go for Aria and Atlas first."

"Don't say it like that. You make it sound like we have favourites."

"Then maybe switch cuddling pups every time. You don't have to always hold Atlas, you have two other pups as well." I laughed lightly making a joke of it.

"I know. I'll do it more often. I will prove to you that I don't have a favourite child." Alaric smiled. "I love you so much, Nova. Please communicate with us. We're not here for nothing. We want to help you as much as we can, but you need to meet us halfway."

"I will. I'm sorry, I'll try more but that goes for you and Karter as well. You don't always communicate with me." I told him.

"We will. Now go get ready so I can dress my little man." He smiled. I nodded and kissed him before getting up and going to shower.

After I was done showering, I left the bathroom in a towel. I have nothing to hide from my mates, they've seen it all before so I don't bother getting dressed in privacy. When I went into the bedroom, Karter and Alaric were sat down, Karter holding Amaris in his massive arms while Alaric had Aria and Atlas, both pups laid on his shoulders.

"Christ Nova." Karter groaned.

"What?" I frowned. "I'm just getting ready."

"Goddess it feels like we haven't had you in so long." Alaric muttered. I shrugged and went into the closet to get dressed. Seeing as I'm still healing, I pulled out some jeans so it'll hide the pads I wear a bit more than leggings or a dress would.

As I let the towel drop, both my mates came into the closet and stood either side of me, while I had my back to them. "Where's the pups?"

"In their Moses baskets. They're safe." Karter replied. His hand trailing down my arm while Alaric placed his arm around my waist and resting his hand on my belly. Since I haven't fully healed since I had the pups, I still have a bit of a belly, stretch marks and I'm still sore down there so I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to.

Both my mates stood close to me so I could feel their hard cocks on my bum through their jeans. "I would love to carry on, but I'm not fully healed and we have somewhere to be." I told them.

"Just once baby. You look so fucking beautiful." Alaric groaned in my ear, his lips brushing over the shell of my ear.

"What? With a belly and stretch marks? I don't think I'm beautiful right now." I laughed lightly.

"You look beautiful no matter what you look like. We just haven't seen you like this in so long, we can't help but want to worship you." Karter whispered brushing his lips against my ear like Alaric did.

"I know, but I'm not healed yet. You could make it worse and then we'd have to wait longer. I'd rather wait until I'm fully healed than do it now and be in pain for longer. I'm still sore from the birth." I told them.

"Just once." Karter muttered trailing his hand to my heat. I pulled away from my mates and turned around pulling my towel up to cover myself.

"I said no Karter. I delivered our pups three days ago, three pups only a few days ago. I'm still in pain and I don't want to mate just yet. Please get out so I can get dressed." I glared at him.

"We're sorry baby. We didn't mean to overstep. Get ready and we'll go to Theo's and see everyone." Alaric sighed and kissed my head. "I'm so sorry baby."

"Please, just get out." I whispered. Alaric nodded and sighed before pushing Karter out of the closet and shutting the door for me. My heart beat rapidly feeling like it was going to come out of my chest. I quickly got dressed and went to get the pups ready. We all took one pup downstairs and laid them in the pushchair. With a lot of searching, we were able to find the perfect one for all three of the pups.

"Ready?" Alaric asked me. I nodded and pushed my pups out of the door. Alaric took the pushchair from me as I struggled to get it out of the door with the heavy weight of it. "I got it. You can take it back in a minute." I nodded and stood back placing my hand on my forehead.

Before I could get out of the door to follow Alaric, Karter pulled me to his chest to which I pulled myself back. "Please don't touch me."

"I'm so sorry Nova. We got a little carried away, Isaiah and Rogue just wanted to make you feel good. We haven't done anything in months and they got a bit restless seeing you naked. We're so sorry doll." Karter apologised.

"Can we just leave now?" I asked, holding my hands in fists so he wouldn't see them shaking at my sides. He sighed with a nod, to which I turned around and left the house. Alaric stood to the side letting me push the pups and walk to Theo's house.

"Uncle Theo?" I mind linked him.

"Yes darling, what's up?" He answered.

"I know I said we'd come to your house, but I really need to see papa and dada. Could you ask Alaric and Karter to go to you please? I just need a while alone." I asked, my voice shaking even though I tried not to.

"Of course. Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Can you just get them please? I need papa and dada." I stated trying my hardest not to cry. I didn't want Karter and Alaric to touch me.

"Nova you're worrying me." Uncle Theo told me, worry lacing his voice.

"Please uncle Theo. I just need them away from me." I begged, it getting harder not to cry.

"Okay. I'll get Karter to come here with Alaric. Make sure you tell me when you get to your fathers house so I know you're safe." He told me.

"I will." I said and cut the link. After a minute, Karter said, "Theo needs us at his house asap. Will you be okay for the rest of the walk?" He asked. I nodded making him sigh. They both went to kiss my head but I pulled away. Both ran off using their vampire speed letting me divert and go to my fathers' house.

When I got there, I was able to get the pushchair in and into the kitchen where Kobe, papa and dada were. My other younger brothers at school since it was a weekday. As soon as I saw them, I wasn't able to hold back my tears. Dada immediately held me to his chest since he was the closest to me.

"C-can I stay h-here for a couple days? M-me and the p-pups?" I asked, my voice shaking as he fisted dadas T-shirt.

"Of course baby. We'll set up your room and a place for the pups to sleep." Papa replied stroking my hair.

"I'll do it." Kobe said and stood up from his seat. "You can talk to me when you're ready, okay?" I nodded and he kissed my head before he walked off to set up my old room and most likely getting my old crib to set up so the pups could sleep in that.

"Where's Karter and Alaric?" Papa asked. I tensed up making dada tense as well, him now knowing something was wrong.

"Let's not talk about it, okay? Let me see them grandbabies of mine." Dada said changing the subject while him and papa took my pups from the pushchair and cradling them. Papa holding Aria while dada held Atlas and Amaris in his large arms. He is beta after all.

We all went to the living room where we sat down talking about the pups, not once did they bring up why I wanted to stay for a couple days without my mates being there. I just don't want to talk about it or see Alaric or Karter until I'm ready.