Alaric, Karter and I sat in bed, all of us holding a pup. Karter holding Aria, Alaric Atlas and me with Amaris. All three of them sleeping soundly after feeding. After seeing how small Amaris was, I decided I'd breast feed him directly while Aria and Atlas would feed from a bottle, but I'd pump for them. Also it gives Alaric and Karter that time to feed their pups as well.

It took some getting used to and Cara helping me quite a bit as she's the only female in the family to have pups and breastfeed, the rest males who could carry. So since she's the only one with boobs and breastfed Wyatt, she helped me. Also helping me pump milk for my other chunky pups.

Even small, Aria and Atlas were still quite big compared to Amaris. Aria weighing seven pound and three ounces, while Atlas weight seven pound 6 ounces. My little Amaris weighing five pound exactly and needed more nutrients to gain weight. And the fact he was so much smaller in size where as the other two were longer. Both will be tall like their fathers.

Papa and dada stayed with me most of them day, a couple times they both went to check on Kobe who was babysitting our brothers, but once they were done they came back. Since it was so early in the morning when the pups came, we waited until around lunch time when we called other family members. All four of my grandparents rushed over, Wyatt, Mika, Miya, Edith and uncle Theo turned up at the same time as my grandparents, so my bedroom was very full.

All of them were surprised when they saw three pups instead of two. Toto called it saying he knew another little one would make an appearance sooner or later. Alaric and Karter didn't want to give up holding their pups, but with a warning growl from me and a small glare, they stood up and let people sit down to hold Aria and Atlas.

Since papa and dada and Cara had cuddles all morning, they stood away to let the other family have their turns meeting the new family members. Grandpa Arlo and Toto sat on the bed next to me, Toto holding my daughter and grandpa my first son while I held Amaris close to me.

"They're so beautiful, Nova. I'm so proud of you." Grandpa smiled tears slowly falling down his cheeks.

"Thank you grandpa. Aria and Atlas are definitely mini me's of their fathers." I laughed a little.

"I can see that." He chuckled. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. A little sore but that's to be expected. Other than that I'm glad they're here. Cara checked them over so they're good as well." I told him.

"Good." He smiled.

"Can I hold Amaris?" Wyatt asked sitting by my feet.

"Uh." I frowned a little. "I, I don't know."

"Nova, let Wyatt hold Amaris. We had to let go of Aria and Atlas, your turn." Karter said making my frown deepen.

"But-," I started but was cut off my Karter. "No buts. He needs to get used to someone other than his mother."

A lump formed in my throat as tears rimmed my eyes. With a nod of defeat I let Wyatt take my baby. "I need a minute." I whispered before getting up and going into the bathroom and closing the door. I could hear everyone talking about the pups and gushing about how cute they are.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I held the back of my hand to my mouth so no one would hear my sobs. The door opened then closed again, the scent of my mates filled my nose making me turn away even more.

"Why are you crying baby?" Alaric asked pulled me to his chest where he let me cry.

"Is it because I told you to let Wyatt hold Amaris?" Karter asked rubbing my back. I didn't say a word, I just cried into Alarics chest.

"I want a minute alone." I sniffled pulling myself from my mates arms.

"Nova." Alaric muttered trying to pull me back to his chest but I didn't let him.

"Leave me alone please." I whispered turning away completely. "I want to shower."

"Let me help you." He said and put his hand on my shoulder.

"I just want to be alone." I shouted. "Get out! Get out!"

"Out, now!" Toto growled glaring at Alaric and Karter. "Don't make me repeat myself." My mates left the bathroom while I sat on the toilet crying into my hands. The door closed making me think I was alone until Toto kneeled in front of me.

"What's going on? Talk to me, Nova." He sighed softly. His once angry face now soft and caring.

"It's stupid." I frowned and wiped my eyes.

"Nothings stupid, darlin'. Tell me what's on your mind."

"I don't want to give him up." I shrugged and let out a sob. "He's so small and fragile I don't want anyone else holding him but me. He's so small and I know he'll be safe in my arms. Everyone else is so big, I don't want him to feel intimidated. I don't want him to feel how I did growing up. Intimidated and small and everyone babying me." I confessed letting out all my pent up emotions.

"Toto if he's with me I know I won't do that because I hated it so fucking much. And all of a sudden these massive people come in wanting to hold him, and I wasn't ready to let him go. He's been in this world for a few hours and I feel like I haven't had any time with him, then everyone wants to hold my pup." I sighed.

"You have every right to feel like that, Nova. It's been hours but I feels like minutes doesn't it? That you gave birth and hold that pup for two minutes before people come in a swoop him away. That's completely normal for a mother to feel. To feel protective and not want anyone else to have him other than you. And that's completely normal, okay." Toto told me.

"But I feel selfish because I told Alaric and Karter to let you and grandpa hold Aria and Atlas." I whispered. "That isn't fair."

"I know, but you knew about them, you've had months of knowing they were there and having them close to you. With Amaris you've only had him for a couple hours and you have to share him so quickly. It's okay to have time for yourself to hold him and love him. Aria and Atlas have had three and a half months of your love and you carrying them, you didn't know about Amaris so it's okay to want him all to yourself for a couple hours more. Because most people in that room know what it's like to feel like you've only had their pup for a few minutes before everyone comes in to take him away. So don't feel guilty about keeping that little one to yourself for a few more hours. Days if you're not ready to let him be in someone else's arms. Because you know what's right for you and your pup. Okay?"

"Okay." I nodded.

"Now wipe your tears and go and get that pup back. If someone tries to take him, growl and give them your nastiest glare. Show them who's boss." He smiled at me. I nodded with a small laugh wiping my eyes.

Once I splashed my face with cold water, I dried it off before leaving the bathroom with Toto. Dada held Amaris in his large arms making me frown a little. I walked over and slipped my hands beneath my sons head and bum so I could lift him into my arms.

"I'm sorry Nova. I should've waited." Wyatt said putting his hand on my shoulder, Amaris laying his cheek on the other while I rubbed his back.

"It's fine." I muttered and sat back down on my bed. Papa held my little girl and uncle Theo holding my eldest son. "I'd like to have my pups please." I stated sitting back against the headboard of my bed. Papa immediately laid Aria on my thighs and uncle Theo laid Atlas next to his sister.

"I'd like everyone to leave now, please." I whispered.

"Anything you need baby, just let me know." Dada told me and kissed my head before pulling papa out of the room. Everyone kissed my head before leaving my bedroom, probably all sitting in the living room waiting for me to call on them. Once the door shut, it was only me, my pups and my mates.

"I'd like to be alone for a little while. I need to feed them." I looked at Alaric and Karter.

"Nova I'm sorry, but don't push us away. Let us help you." Karter sighed.

"If you don't want us in here let someone else help you at least." Alaric sighed knowing it wouldn't help arguing to stay.

"I can do it myself. I would like to be alone for a while with my pups." I growled. "I'll get Toto to make you leave."

"I'll drag them by their ears." Toto shouted up the stairs. I wanted to laugh but held my glare.

"Please don't make me ask again." I muttered looking down at my sons and daughter. Alaric kissed my head and each of the pups before dragging Karter from the bedroom. The door shut making me sigh out now alone with my pups.

I know it's selfish, I know I shouldn't have done that but I need to make Alaric and Karter aware I can do this on my own. I don't need help, I'm capable of doing this and doing everything my children need. If I don't want to let someone hold my pup I won't let them, if I don't want my mates in the room with me, I shouldn't have to. Call me selfish, but I shouldn't have to listen to everyone's commands, I'm my own person and now a mother.

Amaris shouldn't have to step back and let people walk all over him because they think he's incapable of making his own choices, I refuse to let my little boy do that. I'll make sure he's head strong and won't let anyone tell him what to do and when to do it. If I start now, he'll learn so early on that even with a younger mindset than any other pup in the pack, I'll make sure he doesn't have to go through what I did.

His siblings won't baby him, his fathers certainly won't or they can sleep at the cabin. Better yet I'll take the pups to the cabin so we'll have mother-pup time without their overbearing fathers. I know growing up Karter did what he thought was best for me, but sometimes he was like Kobe and Jax, overbearing and babying me. Amaris shouldn't have to feel put down because others think he can't handle himself. He'll be able to do just as much as his brother and sister. He may be small and not have the same age mindset, but I'll make sure he gets all the opportunities his siblings get. I'll make sure my pup has the childhood I never got because people think they know what's best for me, when they don't, only I know and so will Amaris. Again, call me selfish for kicking my family and mates out, but I will not be told what to do anymore.

The timer on my phone went off letting me know it was time to feed my babies. I set all three down on the bed, Amaris between his siblings where they all touched. I learnt that a few hours ago when none of them were touching, all three cried until they felt each other. Especially Aria and Atlas, they had to be touching their younger brother. Like they were protecting him like they did while I was pregnant with them. Kept him hidden and safe.

I got two bottles of my breast milk and warmed it up before sitting on the bed. From papa and dada I got a pillow that Amaris could lay on while he fed and I had both hands free to hold the bottles for Aria and Atlas. So I did just that. Just incase someone walked in, I covered my chest and pup so no one would see my boob. More so for me than the other person because my boobs changed a lot during this pregnancy. And it gave me an eased mind that if it was one of my bothers, they wouldn't be scarred and same with my parents.

A knock at the door came and I called a soft come in. Kobe opened the door and smiled a little. I took a deep breath but told him to come in anyway. He shut the door behind him and sat on the bed next to me.

"I can't believe your a mum now." He chuckled lightly.

"Yeah, I guess that happens when you have dogs for mates. I hope they heard that, both of them are animals." I told him.

"Yeah." Kobe smiled. "They're really cute. Definitely take after Karter and Alaric."

"I know. I'm just glad I got my mini me too." I smiled widely, proud of my little unknown creation. I'm proud of all three of my pups, but more so Amaris, he kept hidden for a long time. But then again Aria and Atlas could've been hiding him with their chunky bodies.

"Three? Wow, how'd you do it?"

"I don't know. I just, did it. The thought of getting my pups here safely was all that mattered me. I didn't care what happened to me, all I wanted for my babies to be safe and healthy. Even if that meant I didn't get to watch them grow up." I told him.

"You're a great mum, you know that. You're so fucking strong and I'm so proud to be your little brother." Kobe said tears forming in his eyes.

"Now you admit that I'm older than you." I joked tearing up myself with a small laugh. "I love you Kobe. You're my little brother."

"I'm so sorry Nova, I never meant to hurt you. I was so angry that Karter has had you all your life then all of a sudden Alaric came along as well taking you away from me. I was jealous that you turned to someone else and not me. But I realise what I did wrong and I'll do anything to make it better, I promise."

"I forgive you Kobe." I smiled wanting to hug him, but my babies come first so it'd have to wait.

"So, who are my niece and nephews?" He asked.

"Aria and Atlas. Atlas came first, then Aria. And our little unknown surprise is Amaris." I smiled talking about my babies.

"I love their names." He smiled looking down at Atlas and Aria. "Need any help with anything?"

"Yes. Can you burp Atlas please?" I asked pulling the now empty bottle from my greedy pups mouth. Kobe nodded and pulled Atlas over his shoulder and gently patted his back to bring up the wind. I did the same to Aria being careful of Amaris who was still feeding. Cara told me to let him feed and don't force him to stop as he needs more nutrients as Aria and Atlas took it all in the womb. So I don't burp Amaris until he detaches himself.

When Aria burped, I laid her down and let her sleep, Kobe doing the same and laying Atlas next to his sister. Amaris detached his mouth from my nipple a minute later. Being careful not to flash my boob to my brother, I was able to lift my top back into place and show Kobe my little man.

"He's a runt like me." I told him lifting Amaris up to my shoulder and rubbed his small back. "But I won't let anyone treat him how I was. I want my son to be independent and do what he knows is best for him, not what people think is best for him. Even if he has a mind like me, I know he'll be able to protect himself."

"He will be. We'll both make sure no one does anything for him. Well when he's older, but for now we'll have to do it for him." Kobe replied.

"I know. But when he starts becoming independent I don't want him to feel like I did. People deciding for me and feeling like I'm incapable of doing my own thing. I don't want that anymore, so if I start now, Amaris will see that he can take care of himself, no matter his mindset."

"You're so strong, Nova. Thank you for letting me meet them. I'll leave you to it now. Want me to send anyone up?"

"No thank you. Me and my pups are going to watch Tangled. I promise to call someone if I need help." I told him.

"Well everyone's in the living room anyway, so they're not too far away." Kobe chuckled.

"I thought so. Love you." I leaned over and hugged him.

"Love you too, nova." He kissed the top of my head before leaving my bedroom.

With a smile, I laid my pups down together then laid next to Aria, Amaris in the middle then Atlas on the end. I had my arm softly over them and let Atlas hold my finger while I played Tangled on the tv. This is all I need, me and my pups. I love Alaric and Karter so much, but now I have three new loves of my life that I need to put before anyone else.