While Nova slept, I rubbed her back loving how she loves to be close to me. All I want is to see her smile, and have all the hugs she's willing to give me. Nothing beats seeing this girl smiling it just makes me happy knowing I can make her smile with just my presence. All the time she's dependent on me, I'm scared she'll stick to that. Nova has never really liked change, so when she gets her mate she won't need me.

I feel like it'll be hard on her if anything. The fact she won't have me will upset her to no end because she's so dependent on me. When she's sick she wants me, being runt means she's more prone to get sick but not as bad as humans. I would do anything to be Nova's mate so she doesn't have to go through much change when the time comes. Because I know she'll hate it.

But I know I'm not. I'm not sure anyway, but I feel like I'm not. I would trade anything just to have her by my side forever, but I know someone else will come and snatch her up being her mate. If it can't be me, I hope to goddess that she has someone who will take care of me like I do, who will love her just as much as I do if not more. I just need that reassurance that my nova will be taken care of like she princess she is.

Nothing will change my love for this girl. Not even my mate or beloved can change that. Nova is my soulmate, even if it's the way I don't want it to be... just friends. Even if that's all we are and I'm godfather or uncle to her pups, I'd do anything to keep it. To promise her and watch over her family when she passes on, because I know it'll happen.

Sooner or later, nova will be older than me, she'll be ageing and I'll be left behind. I just want her to live her life to the fullest so she doesn't regret anything. To be able to think back on the things and laugh about it later in life. Later when she won't give me a single thought because she'll have a mate, pups and grand pups to think about. The time when I'm living away from the pack because I won't have much family to be there for.

Theo and Cara would have died so no siblings, dad would have been long gone, I can't even think about that day, and dad wouldn't want to stay because of the memories. After all of it, the only person I would have is dad because he's a vampire as well. Being half vampire I have the life span of one, immorality. Only a stake to the heart can kill me, even then there's a possibility of survival with it being removed immediately and the splinters taken out. Going to the clan that supplies dad and I blood bags, they had that happen to someone and the medical team managed to keep him alive.

All of these thoughts just keep popping up. And to say it makes me depressed is an understatement. I know I'll have dad forever, but I want more. I want to be able to keep my father alive, my siblings, would say niece but it's weird for both me and Mika to call each other uncle and niece. We're good to just be friends or say we're cousins. Knowing Nova will be gone kills me inside.

"I need to go." I mumbled and stood up. Carefully carrying my little Nova to her room, I tucked her in replacing my chest with her bear that my fathers told me I got her when she was born. She's obsessed with that damn thing. With a kiss to her head, I left the room and walked back downstairs.

"I'll be back to get Nova for school tomorrow. Please apologise to her that I couldn't be here when she wakes up. But I'll get her ice cream tomorrow." I told Eli and Ryan.

"Okay mate. You okay?" Ryan asked.

I nodded not being able to say anything without my voice breaking. With that, I left the house after muttering a quick goodbye. Not stopping off at my house, I ran straight to the only other vampires I know. In the town my siblings grew up in, right next door to the apartment they were born in. Knocking on the door, Jerry answered, smiling when he saw me.

"Hey." His smile fell when he saw my distressed face. "What happened?"

"I don't want to lose her." I said, my voice cracking with tears filling my eyes. Jerry didn't hesitate to pull me into a hug and bring me into the house. Trying to hold back the tears I took deep breaths.

"What happened?" Jerry asked again.

"Stupid thoughts. Just the thought of losing everyone hurts so bad." I cried. "I can't bear the thought of losing Nova or dad. I don't want them to die."

"Oh Karter." He whispered hugging me tighter. His comforting arms left mine and I was pulled into the only mother figure I have. Katie hugged me tighter than her husband, I rested my head on top of hers, the height difference not letting me hide into her chest. Not like Jerry anyway where he was roughly the same size as me. Both taller than 6 foot.

"It'll all be okay darling." Katie whispered. "Nothing will happen to them, not for a long long time. I promise. And when the time comes you'll have so many people to help you through it. Especially me and Jerry, and you'll have Tommy. It'll all be okay."

"It hurts so bad to think about it. I just had Nova on my lap and I couldn't help but think of it. I can't lose her, I don't want to." I whispered. "I'll do anything to stop her from leaving me."

"I know, I don't want any of that family to go because they're so pure and kind hearted. Maybe kolby and Elias, they're still in my bad books." She said making me laugh.

"Aunt Katie it's been so long since then. Surely they're forgiven." I chuckled sniffling.

"Not to me they're not. I've forgiven but I can't forget, not what they did to that poor boy." She shook her head.

"I know. I'd kill anyone who dares to hurt Nova like that. I don't care if they're family, I'll kill them." I said, seriousness on my face. Katie pulled me back so she could look up to me.

"You've got something hidden that you won't tell anyone. Not even your best friend, little Nova." She smiled.

"What may that be?" I raised an eyebrow.

"So not even you know." Katie smiled. "Get some rest. You'll have to be up early to run back to get Nova."

With that, she left laughing to herself quietly.

"What's with her?" I looked at Jerry.

"She's crazy, I never know." He shrugged with a chuckle.

I shook my head going to the spare room I go to whenever I stay. Being around wolves so much agitates me even though I'm half wolf myself. I guess my vampire genes are more dominant because I can't stand being around wolves, unless it's Nova and dad, I tolerate my family.

As harsh as it sounds, I really can't stand the scent of wolves. Having three out of four fathers as wolves is annoying, dad I could never get annoyed with. I don't know what it is about Nova and my dad, but they just don't annoy me and Isaiah, Rogue is just a lazy bastard who sleeps most of the time. Only coming out when I'm angry, even then it's mostly Isaiah.

"Call me a lazy bastard again see what you get." Speak of the wolf and he appears.

"What will you actually do Rogue? Bite me." Isaiah laughed.

"Says the blood sucker. You bite more than me." My wolf growled. And this is what I put up with, having two sides to me.

"Shut up both of you. You know it annoys the fuck out of me when you argue." I rolled my eyes while laying down on the bed.

Isaiah and Rogue ignored me and cut off the link, probably still arguing. Knowing that, I just roll my eyes again and leave them to it. They'll end up making up by the end of it. Seeing as they are literally the same thing just different species. Just voices in my head unless they take control.

Thinking of Nova, I fell asleep knowing she'll wake up from her nap upset. That hurts me more than anything.