In my entire life, I only regret three times.

The first one was when I turn my back against you that night when you need me the most.

Second is when I try not to turn back and face you when I know in myself that I want to wrap you in my hugs and stay by your side wether you like it or not.

But do you want to know the third thing I am regretting?

for not introducing myself to you earlier so everything won't be happen badly.

It was four years ago when I started to stalk Venice and check his safety everytime he'll go outside.

Four years ago everything was fine not until I saw that cute man with a dimple in his cheeks and was sulking beside the fish pond.

+++

I was following Venice going to the main family's house to visit to our cousins and run some errands to uncle Korn.

I parked my car outside the mansion not so far from where the entrance is, from here I can see the backyard and where Tankhun's fish pond is.

I don't have any plan to go near because I might caught by the surveillance cameras and the other bodyguards that on duty.

I waited for almost thirty minutes when my eyes caught someone is blabbing inside the backyard.

"It's so hot! My skin will burn now, Khun No always wants me to check Elizabeth and Sebastian." I frown upon narrowing my eyes to see who is mumbling inside.

Some man who in his bodyguard uniform and holding a bag of fish food, probably feeding the fish.

"I just want to go dive in this pond, maybe my body will get refresh" The man whined as he wiped his sweats in his temple.

I just chuckle a bit seeing him sulk to his boss for letting him lay down under the sun.

He looks like a tomato who is going to explode in red.

"I don't care anymore! Here eat all of these, eat well koi's" The man poured all of the treats and smile proudly.

After some time the man sigh in relief then he clapped his hand cutely and turned around to go back inside.

He's cute...

I smack and shook my head to go back into my senses, I'm not admiring that cute guy, am I?

Ugh! Whatever he's just a normal bodyguard of main family and no other reason.

Days passed and I still doing the same routine as I follow Venice everywhere he goes, he sometimes go to main family causing me to sometimes see the same man with dimple.

Everytime Venice is inside the house, the cute man with dimple is always outside the house. Sometimes he's in the pond with Tankhun, sometimes he is outside the mansion smoking.

I wonder if Venice met him already or did they cross their already.

I can find him cute and hot at the same time, when he smile, the first thing I'll notice in him was his dimple and his eyes that almost lost when he laugh.

I'm not aware of the time and days passing by, I just notice the sudden changes in me. Even though Venice is not heading to the main family's house, I used to drive alone and check if the cute man with dimple is there.

Sometimes I saw him outside smoking together with his colleagues and sometimes he's not there. Maybe he's inside the house together with Tankhun.

I don't know, but everytime I walk up early. The first thing I look forward is to see that man, at least take a glance on his dimple and my day is complete.

Everything goes by the routine until that one night, the first night I got to talk to him and heard his voice.

It was new year's eve party of Theerapanyakul, everyone is invited including the minor family, I received the message saying that they're expecting me but I don't have any plan to show myself to them.

It's seven in the evening when Venice, Macau, and Pa arrived at the main family's mansion.

The venue happened in the backyard that's why somehow I can take a glance inside, but I parked my car in another side of the road so no one will notice.

With my black hoodie that covered my entire upper body, I stand by the side of the huge post waiting for that cute man with dimple to show up.

I saw him roaming around together with Tankhun earlier, but it was three hours ago and I didn't got to see him again.

I grabbed my cigarette and light it. While waiting for that cute man, I lean my back against the post listening to the loud RnB music inside that for sure Tankhun's was the one who chose.

Another hour past, finally I saw that cute man with dimple. He's casually standing beside the pool together with two other bodyguards, he's smiling while roaming his eyes around admiring the lights and bubbles that floating infront of him.

I can only smile seeing him again with a joy in his face, that dimple of him was enough to be my new year gift.

I was about to get my phone and take of picture of him, but Tankhun walk towards the cute man and whispered something.

That cute man just pouted and nodded as he enter the house, I sigh in frustration. I can't see him again, this Khun is just an epic fail.

I sigh and lean my back against the posts again, probably will wait for him to go out.

Another minute past, I heard some chuckles and voices came out from the main family's gate.

I immediately run towards my car and enter, I narrowed my eyes who go outside and I saw that cute man with dimple smiling from ear to ear together with Venice.

They are both smiling and laughing to each other like they're talking about something.

After some time, they both enter Venice's car and started the engine. Since Venice's car is tinted window, I can't see what's inside.

I just follow them, both of them stop by the near 7/11 store, still laughing at each other, they both enter the store.

I parked my car behind Venice's car, I can only smile a bit to see them look like they're having fun. The cute man with dimple seems to double his smile now that he's beside Venice.

After that, they left the store carrying a bunch of popcorns and they enter the car and didn't drive eventually. I frown upon noticing time running, it's already 11:57 pm in December 31.

They're probably reach the new year's countdown.

They're going to spend the new year's countdown together?

And the countdown came, it's new year and I saw the both of them sat down on Venice's hood of the car.

They greeted each other happily, I smile staring at him.

Happy new year, cute man with dimple.

After an hour of sitting down there, I saw the both of them left the store and drove back to the mansion.

I just followed them silently, they enter the house and I remain standing there outside eating my dinner alone.

I don't know how many hours pass by, but I saw Venice, Macau, and Pa's car left the main family's house.

It's already 4:00 am and I think the party is over. The time my family left the house, I get out of my car walk towards the barricades of the main family's house hoping to at least take a last glance of that man with dimple.

After some time, I saw a man get out of the house wearing his blue paired of pajama carrying a two garbage bag.

I smile under my hoodie as I saw him smiling while throwing the garbage.

After some time still staring at him, he might felt my presence so he immediately tilt his head and grabbed his gun.

"Who's there?!" He yelled pointing the gun on me.

I only raise my both hand as a sign of surrendering.

The cute man with dimple slowly walk towards me and I just stay still.

"Removed your hoodie, are you a spy?!" The cute man seems not to be cute right now.

He stare at me fiercely while narrowing his eyes, seeing his dimple while glaring made me smile a bit.

And there I removed my hoodie, I'm no longer scared to be shoot by him. At least the man who will kill me was the man who I adore.

"Khun Venice?" The cute man was immediately stand up properly and hide his gun.

My smile dropped the way he called me, I knew it when he'll saw me the first name he'll call me is my twin's name.

"What are you doing this hour, I thought you already left the house Khun" The man with dimple just shyly hide his both arms behind his back.

"I'm here to check on you" I confess while smiling.

"Really?" He asked excitedly "I mean— why? Khun..." He pursed his lips bowing his head down.

I walk slowly towards him and caress his head.

"I just missed your cute dimple" I said then poke his dimple, for the first time I got to feel how is it to feel his skin.

"Aw" He bow his head down again and still hiding his smile.

Cute...

"P—!" We both turn our gazes to the mansion when someone shouted.

I really don't clearly heard what name is it but I'm sure it was his name, it sounds like Pst? Pet? Fit? I don't know.

"Oh... Khun Venice, my colleagues are calling me... do you want to go inside?" He asked smiling.

"No... I gotta go, just don't tell them I came back and also don't remind me tomorrow that I came here" I said so Venice won't know that I came here and been following him.

"Oh, if that so... ok Khun" He said and nodded.

I was about to turn around when he grabbed my wrist.

"Khun... before the night end, can I tell you something?" He shyly said biting his lower lip.

I just nodded and smile.

"Since we're not going to talk about this night tomorrow, I'll going to confess something" He sigh.

"I don't know, but I think you're the most perfect man I knew since this evening... I just hope no one is better than you, I just— I just admire you and I don't want anyone mess it" He said mumbling still bowing his head.

After that he immediately turn around and run inside the mansion leaving me dumbfounded.

That words are like a knife that being stabbed in my heart, he just said that he don't want anyone to be better than Venice so no one will change his idol?

That words of you, Pete. I brought that through the years I worked hard.

After that night, I sealed in my mind that I will do everything to be equal to Venice or more than to Venice.

I never been so competitive towards my twin, I'm always giving him the things we both wanted. I always make him the bestest among us, so he doesn't feel like he's a loser.

That night changes everything.

I started to plan my lifting, I promise myself that I will come back stronger and someone who will be proud off.

I will come back for you, so you will be able to accept me.

Three years, three years I tried to built my own business, I worked hard just so I could show you a face when I got home.

+++

And after three years when I'm ready to face you, to introduce myself as someone you can see as a man. A man you can see who is better with someone.

But then I came back to encounter the mistake we didn't mean to do. The time I thought I can finally introduce myself to you properly was the time you engrave a hatred on me.

Many things happen, I got know your name and I was so happy that time but then happiness together with the years I worked hard for only fades away when I heard that you're together with Venice.

You were Venice's man, that I don't have any choice but to back off. I don't have enough I don't have enough fight compared to Venice you loved before me.

"Stop worrying yourself, let's just pretend it didn't happen...but I'll never forget about it" That's the only words I can say that time, Pete.

Which is actually I have many things to tell you, many things I want to share to you but I can't do that anymore knowing you were marrying my twin.

With so many people I can annoy because you chose why my twin? So I can't do anything but let it go to him, again.

I tried to avoid you and distance myself from you, but the image of you that night and that smiling face of you three years ago was like a dream to me that I don't want to let it just go.

I watch you agree to his proposal and I was there receiving all the pain and suffering.

The time Venice got into accident, I know it's cruel to think but I got happy and thankful that happened to him.

At least for two weeks with you, Pete. Two week I got to change your mind. I made you love me, I fell harder each day we're with each other, Pete.

+++

Many things happen but look where we are right now, both happy and thankful to have our own family.

You, Me, and Viwi.

"Vegas, you've been spacing out there since earlier" Pete walks towards me carrying our son.

I just shook my head and turn my gaze to my son.

"Hey, Viwi come to Dada" Pete handed me Viwi, and he stretched his arms.

"Dada...Pa..." Pete and I looked at each other as we both heard our son mumble.

"You heard that?" I asked.

"Yeah, haha omg! Viwi" Pete can only nodded and smile in proud towards our one year old son.

"Dada... Ve...gas..." Viwi mumble slowly and I can't do anything but nodded in excitement.

"Pa... Pip" Pete just pouted and sigh in frustration when Viwi didn't say his name properly.

I just burst into laughter as Pete continue to pout.

"Oh baby, look at your Pa he's sad... Say his name na" I said convincing our little Viwi.

"Pa...Pete" Viwi finally said and both of us jumped in happiness that finally our son can talk.

He utter his first words and it is our names. It's just heart warming and so happy to feel.

Only one thing I can assure, the time God gave me Pete and Viwi. I learned to appreciate small things more.

Being by their side and was able to protect them was enough to make me happy and thankful that I became a husband to Pete, and a father to Viwi.

//