CHAPTER 30 Lily's POV

Warning: Anxiety Attack

Where is everybody? I checked my phone and there was still no reply from them. Salvy is not in his office, I even mustered all my courage to enter his office but he was not there. Andrea and William are not in their room too. I feel too awkward to ask the other people here, I also can't find the familiar men that always follow me and Salvy around. I went to the garden and sat on the bench. It's cold and I forgot to bring a jacket.

I felt something warm wrap around me. "I received your text and saw you freezing yourself alone here so I brought some things to warm you up" Andrei sat beside me and gave me a glass of warm milk.

I immediately took a sip and smiled at him. "Where is everybody?"

"Salvy and Enzo are in a meeting. Andrea and William are in a club somewhere" he answered while drinking some brandy straight from the bottle.

"You did not join them? You like clubs right?" I asked.

"I don't want to leave you alone here. I know you rarely wake up in the middle of the night but I figure out that you will be too anxious if you wake up alone and you can't find us" he shrugs.

I lowered my head and tightened my hold on the glass. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry" I whispered.

"It's fine. I also don't want to babysit William and Andrea. Did you have another nightmare?" He looked at me cautiously.

I shook my head, I rarely have nightmares ever since I told Salvy everything. He looked relieved and I nudged his shoulder. "I'm getting better. I promise!"

He chuckled and raised his glass. I also raised my glass and shouted. "Cheers" We both laugh and stare at the night sky, letting silence comfort us.

My phone vibrated and I received an email with no subject. There was nothing on the email but 2 videos attached to it. My heart started to beat really fast.

"What's wrong?" he worriedly asked. I showed my phone to him. "What the? Do you want to watch it?"

I nod my head. He held my hand and I opened the first one. It was a video of a girl, half of her face was covered with her wavy blonde hair. She was naked and currently on top of a guy. It was obvious that the guy is the one filming the girl from the angle of the video. Why did someone show me her porn? Am I even allowed to watch this? She started to move and I blushed on how her boobs bounced. My heart sank when she moaned Salvy's name. She said something in Italian and the camera was moved. Salvy and the girl can now be seen on the screen. Salvy looked at her lustfully and held on to her waist while the girl kept on moving on top of him. The video ended and I'm trying my best not to have an attack right now.

"That girl looks familiar." Andrei was lost in his thoughts when he realized that I'm terribly shaking. "I'm sorry Lily. Let's stop watching this, it could be just an old video or something" he tried to move the cellphone away but I hold on to my phone.

"L-let's w-watch the next o-one" I stuttered. He sighed and played the next video.

My whole world shattered on what I saw. Salvy, Andrea, Enzo, William and a blonde girl are in a room. The are all talking to each other except Salvy who is drinking on his own. A redhead girl wearing a skintight tube dress walked to Salvy. Salvy and the girl talked to each other and he even shared his drink to the girl. It was the same girl from the first video but this time her hair color is different. Salvy smiled at her and the girl kissed him. The thing that hurt the most was Salvy not pushing her away and letting her kiss him. The video ended and I tried to control my breathing.

"I remember her now. She's ahmm Salvy's sort of ex" Andrei excitedly exclaimed. His excitement faded when he saw my face. "I think they attended the same high school but I know Salvy don't do girlfriends before you so she might be just ahmm one of the girls she had casual sex with" he explained and removed the cellphone from my hand.

"B-but the se-second vi-video looks r-recent" I mumbled and clumsily wiped my tears.

"Yeah I think the second video happened tonight. Sorry Lily, I'm not good with words and I can't think of any explanation for it." he said and scratched the back of his head.

I hugged my knees and tried to calm myself down. The girl was so beautiful and I am nothing compared to her. She already had sex with Salvy and I can't even go further than make out with him. She is more suitable for him. Should I confront him? Or just ignore it? I felt my entire body went numb, I helplessly tried to move my fingers but I'm too overwhelmed with everything.

He doesn't hurt me and takes good care of me. Who am I to complain? He is a guy and he has needs that I'm not yet ready to give to him. I already talked to my therapist. We are already working on my trauma and on how I can slowly get my confidence to have sexual contact with him but maybe my efforts are not enough. Maybe I'm just not good enough. Salvy is getting tired of me. What should I do? I can't lose him, I need him in my life. I tried to swallow hard and breathe properly but I couldn't. I feel like I'm drowning on a bottomless pit on my own.

"Lily ahmm I think you're having an attack but I don't know what to do. Oh Sh!t your shaking" Andrei said in panic.

I tried to talk to him but my mouth is not moving and everything in my head is not making sense. He laid me down on the bench, I can feel him touching my shoulders and wiping my tears. My chest hurts and I keep feeling that it's tightening, I punch my chest several times but it still hurts. He removed my hand from my chest and combed my hair using his fingers.

"It says here on the net that you ahmm you need to breathe. I also remembered Andrea doing the counting thing with you before. Let's try that. Focus on my voice and breathe through your nose." he whispered slowly to me.

I followed his voice and synchronized my breathing with his counting. A few minutes had passed and my heartbeat slowly went back to normal. The hazy cloud on my head cleared up. I heard him talking to someone and he gently opened my mouth. "I have your medicine here. They are on their way home." he cooed and put the tablet under my tongue.

My heartbeat became erratic again. "Wh-what if Salvy br-breaks up with me?" I asked.

"He won't Lily. You saw Andrea and William on the second video, If Salvy really did cheat on you. I don't think he will make it out of the club alive. Relax for now. Whatever happens we are all here for you, yeah?" he smiled and continued brushing my hair.

Salvy's POV

I felt someone slap my arm, I instinctively grabbed and twisted the wrist. "Fck! Fck! It hurts. Salvy it's me!" Enzo shouted in pain. I let go of his hand and rolled my eyes. "What the fck?" I asked.

He held on to his injured wrist and sat down beside me. "I've been trying to get your attention but you're not responding. She's already in the building." He whispered.

I nodded my head and scanned the area. A woman wearing a skin tight mini tube dress walks to our table and stops in front of me. I looked at her from head to toe. "From Blonde to ginger?" I smirked and pointed at her dyed hair.

"You like it? I've heard that you have a thing for gingers now." She bit her lips and flipped her hair. I saw Andrea and William glared at her, I internally rolled my eyes. They have to keep it together or our trip to this place will be for nothing

I know that she doesn't have any wire on her but we still have to be cautious since I'm aware that she did not come here alone. "No. It's just that my d!ck and everything I have is owned by a specific red headed angel." I shrugged and drank half of my drink.

She sat beside me and grabbed my glass, she drank the rest of my drink and licked her lips. She leaned close to me and kissed my earlobe. "Don, I was asked to seduce you. We are being recorded, 40 degrees and 150 degrees. Just cameras with no mic. Push me or break my bones, I don't mind but I need to follow the order to fulfill my mission." She sweetly whispered in my ear and kissed my neck.

She stood up and faced me, She seductively smiled and pulled me in for a kiss. I waited for a few seconds before I grabbed her neck and lifted her to the ground. She held onto my hand that's on her neck while trying to grasp for air. I wiped my mouth and threw her to the ground. I put a chair in the middle of her torso to trap her. I sat on the chair and stared down on her. The chair was crushing her and I evilly glared at her.

"Thank you for your loyalty. I expect a report from you tomorrow morning. Stai attento e abbi cura di te" (Be careful and take care) I stood up and kicked the chair off her. She hurriedly stand up and run to the door

"What was that about?" William shouted and stood up, he tried to attack me but Enzo kept him in his place.

Andrea and William were glaring at me. I rolled my eyes. "Stop looking at me like that before I lose my patience. Enzo explained what's going on to those two. I need to talk to the old man and after that we will leave." I sternly said and looked at them. They all bowed their head and said, "Yes Don"

I nod and leave the room, I need to get this all done as soon as possible. I have a bad feeling about this.