My dearest Krist,

Hello Krist! How are you? I haven't heard of you for a while now. Do you know how much I miss you?

I am surprised that you still remember me. Do you really remember me or you just want me to be pained again?

Do you remember the first day we met? The time I didn't like you at school because you're a show off. And you hated me because I was too harsh of a hazer? You followed me EVERYWHERE just to prove that you're not a douchebag but instead you're a bundle of joy.

I miss the way you always prove yourself to me, the way I prove myself to you.

Do you remember when we were about to first shoot SOTUS ? We went to Pattaya with the other staffs. We barely talk but the way your eyes shines when you saw the jet ski we were about to ride. You dragged me towards the beach, I love the way you babbled how you badly want to ride it.

I miss your continues babbles about how you want this and that. Will it be done again?

Do you remember when we were shooting SOTUS. I found you so dazzling, the way you fierce and smiled. The way you act like it was real... I wish it was real.

Do you remember when you said the line "even if i don't say it, i still love you" it sounds so real. So fucking real. To the point I have to pray to the highest above to wish it was real. And I was living in that series.

Do you remember after we shoot you'll always ask me to have dinner with you because you love it when we talk for hours and hours.

I wish you'd still ask me that. I still do.

Do you remember the first time we kissed. The director said I am The one who should initiate it. I was so shock. Happy shocked. The way our lips touched. Your smooth ones on mine, I felt I was on cloudnine. My stomach was swarmed with butterflies— no the whole zoo actually. It happened so many times and it fled so fast.

I hope it happens again. I really do.

Do you remember when we travelled to japan. You kept cuddling to my arm because you were cold. Even P'Tay was confused. Maybe he wants newwie to cuddle like you on P'Tay's Arm. And at our hotel room. You even locked or hands together. You fell asleep like a cat...

I miss your little snores and the way you pout when you sleep.

And then Comes our show, friendship with kristsingto. The way you laughed. I love when it echoes around me. I love the way how you snuggle on my neck when we're in the van.

You even sniffkiss my neck, we held hands.

When we see frightening rides, your eyes curve in disbelief "Ohoh, P'Sing! I'm not gonna ride that thing!" You blabbered how you wanna leave the place.

I miss the way you're scared of almost EVERYTHING!

And when we went to korea, you cheered like a excited kid, you pulled my coat and pointed at things you want me to buy for you, hell you point at places where you want me to take a photo of you.

You'd always make fun of my "elephant" camera.

I miss seeing you poses through my lenses. Specially when you flash you're white smile.

Do you remember when I went to your graduation unknowingly. Your eyes shined and shaped liked hearts. Well, that's what I saw. You refused to throw yourself on me because there's so many people around us. Watching.

You chatted and marveled at how everything went. I'm sorry that I was late that day.

Someday, I hope I hug you like there's no tomorrow.

Do you remember when we went on a date? You were making fun of me because of how I can eat much and I still be scrawny. And you were howling at how funny when I shoved a whole square of tofu in my mouth. The waiter even scolded us because we were to loud.

Can you still laugh as loud now?

I am so happy for you. I know it's been years and we cut ties because you told me you wanted to have a family. And you were so scared of commitment. I agreed. Who even wants to marry me? Because of you... I never liked girls anymore. I guess I'm too delusional for that to happen.

And the i told you I'm flying to America to study and live there. You were so happy! Happy for me or you're happy that I'm finally leaving? It's alright!

I felt the disgust through the phone when you answered "P'Sing, it's only for the fans"

Right, it's only for the fans but why would you give me such hope? Do you even know how much I pray day and night? Do you even know how hurt I am when you ditch me?

It's Selfish of me isn't it. I wanted to keep you for myself but I ended up hurting us both. I'm sorry. I'm older and I should be the one thinking straight. I should've just let you go when you wanted to. I shouldn't have forced you to stay in my life.

I wish you the best in life! I wish I could smile at you and embrace you for the last time. Congrats for being famous! You even reached the red carpet kinda fame. I wish you more success. I hope you have the future you want and deserve. I will keep you in my heart forever. Gosh! Am I too emotional? I couldn't stress what I'm feeling right now since I barely talk to anyone for years and kept myself company.

And Tell your family I wish them a happy life like yours!

And krist, my answer to your question is no.

I'm not going to your wedding.

Singto,

This sucks. IM SORRY!!!