"Watch me inhale this whole bag of chips!" You were lounging across an old sofa at Matt's house as Four Eyes left to prepare him some water for when he choked. He was already three steps ahead of her and inhaling the bag as crumbs sprayed across his face and onto the carpeted floor.

Not even halfway done with the bag, he started choking as Four Eyes rushed to his rescue in an attempt to save him from his dumbassery. "This is why we only let you chug drinks!" She started patting him on the back as he coughed soggy chip crumbs up and onto the carpet.

You grimaced and grabbed your own bag of chips and popped it open. "Amature..." They both looked up at you just in time to see you dump the whole bag on your face with your mouth wide open. Chips went everywhere on the couch as you moved your head forward and closed your mouth. You slowly, and with much effort, started chewing as Four Eyes's eye twitched in annoyance.

"I'm giving you a head start before I murder you." You immediately jumped up and started sprinting while Matt tried to hold the bloodthirsty woman back.

"Run (Y/n)!"

You jolted awake at the sound of an alarm going off somewhere beside you. This was surely a new way Narancia and Mista attempted to wake you up, but it was better than waking up tied upside down or with one of the two breathing in your face.

Without bothering to open your eyes, you smacked your nightstand a few times in an attempt to find the clock going off.

About the fourth hard smack, you heard something shatter along with a sharp pain shooting through your hand and up your arm. You quickly sat up and nursed your cut and bloody hand before finally finding the alarm and unplugging it.

"FUCK! WHY THE FUCK IS THEIR GLASS ON MY NIGHTSTAND?!" You looked at the pile of bloody glass that shattered under the force of your hand slamming against the small wooden structure in an attempt to turn the annoying clock off.

You hissed in pain and pulled a few small chunks of glass out of your palm before inspecting the bloody pile of glass. After staring at the remains and studying the larger chunks, you concluded you had zero idea what you were looking at, and it was another mess to clean up later.

"I swear I'm going to kill those two later..." You threw the covers off yourself with your uninjured hand, and haphazardly swung your feet off the bed, and stood up.

Not even two steps and you stepped on something cold and hard that had the similar pain of stepping on a Lego. "Son of a bitch!" You quickly stepped off the small object and gripped your foot in pain, not caring you were slightly smearing blood onto your foot.

You glared down at the small object and realized what you stepped on at the first glance. "What in the actual-"

You knelt down and picked the small glass chess piece up with more annoyance than fear. And then you realized you didn't live alone and may have just put everyone in danger if someone was somehow able to break into the house without waking anyone up.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-" You gripped the chess piece in your bloody palm and sprinted out of your room in alarm. You slid across the hardwood floor in a panic as you turned the corner to peer down the front door's hallway, ignoring everyone in the room behind you. Already slightly relieved none of them were murdered in their sleep.

"Morning (Y/n)-" You ignored Mista's tired greeting and sprinted towards the front door and immediately started inspecting it.

Looking at the door's handle and paintwork for any signs of forced entry. Sure enough, you could see some engraved marks on the inside of the door from where some wedged something between the door and the doorframe. The paint was chipped off, revealing the wood that lay beneath the exterior.

You started panicking and backed away from the door, not hearing the calls from behind you as you tried not to cry from the shitty situation. Whoever broke in could come back and easily kill everyone in the house and yourself easily.

It'd be all your fault...

Everyone's life would be put at unnecessary risk and the blame would be on you. You didn't want your friends to die in your place or them to get hurt because of your beef with a psycho. You wouldn't ever be able to forgive yourself or recover emotionally if one of them were to die.

"(Y/n)!" You felt someone shake you as you let out a shaky breath you didn't know you were holding in.

You couldn't find your words as Fugo whirled you around and shook you a few times. "Earth to (Y/n)! What's wrong?" You could hear worry lacing his voice under his exasperated overtones.

Narancia quickly shoved him out of the way and grabbed your hand with a scared look as he tried to pry the bloody fist open. You didn't even realize the strength of your hand has broken the second piece in your fit of fear and guilt. "You're bleeding! Giorno what's wrong with her?! Why isn't she saying anything?!" You could see tears forming in the corner of his eyes as he tried to snap you out of your state of fear and shock.

Giorno was quick to cut in front of everyone to quickly heal your bloody hand as Trish and Mista rushed out of the room to get sterile wipes and a dustpan.

You could feel the painful tingling in your palm as the rook and glass shards were converted into new healthy flesh and blood cells. You were still not responding and staring off into space, trying to comprehend what just happened and what your next move should be while still stuck in a state of panic.

It was getting hard to breathe; why was it getting hard to breathe? There should be enough oxygen; why couldn't you breathe?

Abbacchio knew that look all too well as your breathing grew heavy and fast gradually. "Fuck- everyone back up and give her some fucking air you morons!" He grabbed the back of Giorno's and Narancia's collar and pulled them away as Bucciarati pushed himself to the front and moved you out of the thin hallway.

He quickly moved you to the couch as you let out a small whimper. You opened your mouth to help get oxygen into your lungs as Bucciarati patted your back and whispered soft comforts.

"She needs a distraction. Make something dumbass!" Abbacchio yelled at Giorno as the younger boy stumbled forward to grab a pillow off the couch. He quickly thought of an animal he thought you would like and let take it from there.

The pillow quickly shifted into a medium-sized animal with a flat face and a curly tail. He held the new creation up as it panted and looked around, with its floppy ears bouncing on its head.

"Is that a fucking pug? Really?" Fugo deadpanned at the animal as Giorno placed it on your lap to let it work its magic.

You were snapped out of your thoughts with the chubby animal snorting in your lap as it rolled around on its back. Your breathing quickly calmed down and you snorted as you rubbed its belly.

"Can we keep him?" You held the animal up at Giorno and Bucciarati with stars in your eyes.

They both look at each other in confusion from your sudden mood change. Bucciarati shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head. "Sure, but don't expect anyone to take care of him for you." You squealed and shook the dog before placing it back into your lap.

Everyone was reminded once again that you never owned a pet before and had no idea how to take care of it. Mista and Trish walked in at the perfect time to see you playing with the pug on the couch, completely fine and not freaking out anymore.

"Is that a dog?" Mista pointed at the small animal that continued to wheeze and roll on its back as you rubbed its belly. He handed you a wipe for your bloody hand, which you took gladly.

"You're damn right it's a dog, and you're damn right we're keeping it!" You gave it a few more scratches before letting it do its own thing.

"What did you name it?" Mista scratched the animal's ass, causing it to grunt and kick its leg.

"Jack Bauer. JB for short." Mista nodded his head at the name and hummed in approval.

"I honestly thought you would name it Major Tom Jr. or something," Mista replied, causing you to grimace at the foggy memory of the hamster that was turned back into Abbacchio's phone.

"Don't remind me... I had the worst headache afterward, and I cried for a good thirty minutes when I realized Major Tom was basically dead. He'll forever live on inside Abbacchio's phone." Half of the group was confused on why Abbacchio's phone was a hamster in the first place, but no one bothered asking. They didn't need context to guess what happened.

"But JB is permanent! We're going to enjoy eating junk food together, aren't we~" You put on a cheery voice and scratched JB's back as he panted for a second before sneezing.

"Bless you. Anyway, what's on the menu this morning?" Abbacchio grunted and flicked your forehead before settling on the armrest.

"Oh, shit- the stove!" Mista ran back out of the room and into the kitchen as Bucciarati followed behind him quickly, silently praying the kitchen wouldn't have another accident.

"Want to talk about what happened this morning?" Abbacchio spoke quietly to you as everyone lingered slightly nearby.

"Oh, yeah... so someone broke into the house." You spoke quite loudly, causing you to grab a few people's attention in alarm.

"What do you mean someone broke into the house?!" Narancia yelled, slightly disturbed by the fact he couldn't hear the intruder in the middle of the night. The boy wouldn't be able to hear a dump truck backing up in the middle of the afternoon from how heavy he sleeps anyway.

Fugo quickly left the room to investigate the door for any signs of forced entry as everyone started to get slightly riled up from the disturbing news.

Fugo soon came back with a pissed-off expression as everyone impatiently waited for his report. "Someone broke the lock on our door and we somehow slept through it." A few people groaned while you grimaced at your confirmed suspicions.

"We'll just get better locks then!" Narancia tried to lighten the mood while Mista and Bucciarati came out of the kitchen coughing with a bit of smoke. "They'll just break back in." Trish reasoned with the boy as Mista and Bucciarati stood there confused.

"Who broke in?! I'll just let them get friendly with my stand for the first and last time!" Mista threatened the mystery intruder. You could hear cheering in agreement as you sat there and played with the fur on JB's back.

"About that," Everyone turned their attention to you as you continued to look down and play with your new pet. "It may or may not have been a rook..."

"Hang on a second. Someone who wants you dead broke into the house just to scare you and possibly return?" Abbacchio mused out loud as you nodded your head.

"I'm not really sure what to do. I don't want y'all to get murdered in your sleep, but I also don't want to deprive any of y'all of sleep either." Like a god answering your prayers, your stand manifested and looked down at you with his arms crossed.

Everyone looked up at him as you quirked a brow at the flashy-looking humanoid. He made glasses with his hands over his shutter sunglasses with the mouth opened like a fish gasping for air. You had no idea what he was doing and tilted your head to the side confused.

Your stand put a finger up and changed poses; he covered one of his eyes, and put a hand on his hip, and jutted it out. "Ooh! Ooh! I know! You're wearing an eyepatch and really sassy!" Narancia yelled, causing your stand to facepalm.

He changed poses once again; he put his hands behind his head and bent his knees slightly as everyone tried to guess what he was trying to tell everyone.

He eventually gave up and sat in the corner and sulked. You looked at him with a bit of pity before he stood back up and skated towards the staircase. You watched as he struggled to climb the stairs with wheels before disappearing upstairs.

"What's your stand doing, (Y/n)?" Giorno pointed at the staircase the humanoid climbed with much effort. "Like hell, I know... he confuses me more than the meaning of life." You could hear him clanging around upstairs before he not-so-gracefully went down the stairs with a notebook and pen.

"Is that my notebook?" Narancia questioned as your stand slammed it down on the coffee table and flipped it open to a random page, which happened to have some poorly done math.

You watched as he quickly drew 7 circles before giving them distinct features. One had curly hair and glasses; another had what seemed to be a jester's hat and blacked-out eyes- wait a damn minute.

"THAT'S LA SQUADRA!" Your stand quickly threw the pen on the table and put his hands in the air in victory.

"What about them?" You watched as he drew a house around them before drawing another circle that seemed to be a poorly drawn version of you with an arrow pointing to the house.

"Go over to their house?" Your stand then sketched a suitcase and you immediately got the memo. "Spend a few nights over there?" Your stand clapped his hands in triumph as a few of your teammates began to object your stand's idea.

"We can protect you just fine! We'll pull night shifts and make sure no one gets to you!" Narancia bargained as a few people agreed.

"You don't need those dumbasses' help. You can start sleeping in my room again if that makes you feel better." Abbacchio objected before getting shot a warning look by Bucciarati. "Well- Bucciarati will obviously be with us too or someone else." He quickly corrected himself, not really caring about the rule since he'll end up breaking it anyway.

"Or you can sleep in my room and Mista can keep watch! I'm sure he and Narancia can switch shifts at night." Trish interjected, ignoring Mista's groan from getting beat to the punch.

"I can make some guard dogs. They'll alert us if anyone breaks in." Fugo agreed with Giorno's idea as you sat on the couch awkwardly from being fought over.

Your stand nudged you with your flip-phone, you didn't even notice him leaving the room as you flipped your phone open with your decision already made.

Giving your team a break and keeping them semi-protected. You were pretty sure living with people that killed for a living would be better since you assumed a few of them would be light sleepers. sure your team was the bodyguard team, but they couldn't waste their energy on trying to stay up all night to help you rest easy.

You quietly slipped away and dialed Risotto's number. You surprisingly rarely ever call him, if not ever. You heard it ring a few times before a click sounded on the other side with a familiar husky deep voice responding on the other side.

"Hello?" You couldn't hear anything in the background and assumed he was lounging about in his office.

"Yo, Risotto! Quick question; do you guys have a spare bedroom I can crash in?" You were pretty sure he could hear everyone bickering in the background as you heard a huff in response.

"Changed your mind about living with them already?" He sounded indifferent as you awkwardly laughed.

"Well~ someone may or may not have broken in and ya know... been one of the people threatening to kill me." You muttered the last part quickly and sucked a breath in. You listened intently to the other side before hearing a sigh.

"Pack your things. I'll be there in a bit." He hung up before you could thank him.

"Welp! Time to pack!" That seemed to catch everyone's attention as they suddenly stopped bickering and looked at you with shocked looks.

"Noooo~!" Narancia crumpled to the floor in defeat as Mista patted his back in reassurance.

"Seriously (Y/n)? We can protect you better than those assholes." Abbacchio scowled at you with the slight hint of hurt in his eyes.

Bucciarati didn't say anything as he stared at you with a sad expression.

Trish was the first to immediately volunteer to help you pack for a few nights' stay. Fugo was trying to cheer Narancia up as he sobbed on the floor with Mista. "Come on guys. Stop being dramatic. I'm not staying over there forever." Narancia hiccuped a few times and pouted before snarling. "I'll fight every last of them to prove we can protect you better!" He declared with narrowed eyes before Giorno put his hand on his shoulder.

"It's her choice, I don't think we can change her mind. She's not going to be gone for long, Narancia." Giorno seemed to be the only one who wasn't too upset about your temporary leave, which was slightly reliving.

JB jumped off the couch and trotted over to you and wagged his tail. You completely forgot about JB. You had no idea if Risotto would let you take the dog. You were already a bad parent for forgetting about your child.

"Aw, man... and I just got you..." You scratched JB's head before Giorno got an idea. "If you can keep the dog with you then we'll let you stay with La Squadra temporarily with no fuss." Giorno secretly wanted you to stay, but he would've respected your decision either way.

Everyone already knew there was no way Risotto would let you take a dog with you back, so they immediately accepted the proposal. You looked down at JB and shrugged your shoulders. "If the dog can come with then I'll go, and if not then I'll stay and figure something out."

"Sure."

"Wait, seriously?" You didn't expect Risotto to agree so easily as everyone's jaw dropped from behind you.

"Your idea was bullshit, Giovanna," Abbacchio growled as the younger male shrugged his shoulders. "We were just taking a gamble; there was no guarantee it would've worked." He replied cooly, watching you toss a suitcase Trish let you borrow into the trunk. JB already took a seat in the back as Risotto reached back and scratched the animal's head. His hand eclipsed its head completely as he rubbed JB gently before shifting back in his seat properly.

"Make sure to text us and if you ever feel uncomfortable, just give me a call and I'll come to get you." Bucciarati gave you a big hug as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "I'm sorry we couldn't offer you the protection you needed. I hope we didn't let you down."

You frowned at his words and shook your head. "You didn't let me down, I just need to lay low somewhere they can't find me for a while, and I just wanted to keep y'all safe. Make sure they don't do anything dumb without me." You whispered the last part, causing him to chuckle before pulling away.

You backed up a few feet and spread your arms wide. "Alright, guys, give me a group hug and get it out of your system now because who knows when I'll give ya another one." Everyone immediately attacked you for a hug as you gave them a warm embrace.

"Mista, if anyone gets too nosy just... ya know... shoot 'em..." He cocked an eyebrow as you grinned and climbed into the passenger seat. "Shoot 'em?" He echoed back as you buckled your seatbelt and rolled down your window. "Politely..."

Just like that, Risotto pulled off as everyone waved goodbye. You reclined in your chair a bit and stretched. "So where am I sleeping, big guy?"

"With me." You choked on your spit and sat up. "Ex'fuckin'cuse me?"