《StateHuman Stories (and Oneshots)》Van
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"Hey man, this is nice!" Louisiana laughed, leaning back in her seat. The states had finally saved up enough money to buy their dream van, and now they were taking it for a spin. New York was driving, and Texas was in the passenger seat, as someone had to be there to supervise him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.
"ITS A PARTY IN THE USA, BITCH!" Washington shouted as he fist-bumped Oregon, who grinned as he snacked on a bag of chips. Hawaii turned up the volume on the music and picked up a hairbrush, using it like a microphone as she tossed her hair around and sang.
"GET IT, GIRL!" Virginia cheered, as Hawaii sang the chorus of Say So by Doja Cat. West Virginia ran into the back and came back with a disco projector and plugged it in, illuminating the van in all colors of the rainbow. Everyone was having fun, singing and dancing and laughing, when
"DEER!" Montana shrieked, causing New York to swerve, just barely missing the poor doe, who scampered away, clearly spooked by the whole situation.
The van, meanwhile, was quickly skidding off the road and into the woods. Everyone was shouting and scrambling to find a way to stop it, but there was no use.
"TAKE THE WHEEL, TEXAS!" New York exclaimed, getting out of the driver's seat.
"WHAT?!" Texas questioned as he shook his head furiously.
"JUST DO IT, DUMBASS!" Tennessee shrieked, gripping the edges of her seat towards the middle of the van. Then, there was a thud. Someone was sleeping, and they had slid from the back of the van all the way up to the front and landed at Missouri's feet. Missouri gently poked at the figure's head, until they finally started moving.
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California groaned and slowly pushed herself off the floor and onto her knees. She rubbed her temples and shook her head.
"The hell did I miss?"
As soon as she said that, the van jerked to the side, throwing nearly everyone out of their seats.
"I take that back, I don't wanna know." Cali mumbled and went to sit in an empty seat.
The van was still all over the place, and nobody had been able to gain control of it, despite many attempts. It was now careening through the woods of god-knows-where, straight on track to slide right off a cliff.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Florida screeched.
"Yeah, that's kinda cool though, like, to go out this way." Alaska shrugged. All the states turned to stare at him in either shock or fear.
"BRACE YOURSELVES!" Alabama called. Everyone immediately focused back on the situation at hand.
The whole van closed their eyes and held each others hands, preparing for impact.
But it never came.
"YOOOOOO" Colorado exclaimed, backing away from Texas's spot in the driver's seat.
"But how?" Iowa asked, bewildered.
"Rocky mountain magic, baby!" Colorado threw his hands up in the air.
Iowa shook her head and sighed.
"We should probably get back before Pa gets too angry" Idaho said, happy to interrupt the two idiots.
"Yeahhhh....good idea." They all agreed as New York climbed back behind the wheel and began to drive away.
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