《StateHuman Stories (and Oneshots)》Home Alone (Short Story)
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Today Ame had some stuff to do so he left me, 'Tana, Penny, Texas, Dela, 'Diana, Lou, Virginia and West, Yorkie, Jersey, Massy, Cali, Rhode, and the triplets home alone.
Big mistake, right off the bat.
"No, Jersey, you can't cut Virginia's braids off while she sleeps. "
"Come on Delaaaaa, just once?"
"Do you realize how angry Dad would be?!?" Louisiana piped up from across the room.
"Well yea', sure." New Jersey shrugged, lighting another cigarette.
Delaware sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Just then, the front door flung open to reveal a terrified Rhode Island and a hysterically laughing Texas.
"HE- HE SET THE DOG ON FIRE!"
At that, Texas started laughing even harder, which I didn't even think was possible. Virginia jerked up from where she was sleeping and whipped around, hitting me right across the face with her obnoxiously long braids. She groaned and whispered something to West, and he made a face that looked somewhere between him trying to sneeze, and him trying to swallow a frog. I'm going to guess that whatever 'Ginny said must've been funny. Man, good ol' Florida is always left out on the jokes, rude much.
"Y'ALL SHOULDA SEEN IT, I WAS LIKE 'WHOOSH' AND HE WAS LIKE 'NOOOO' and then everyone was like 'AAAHH' " Texas shouted, struggling to stop laughing. Then he flopped down on the carpet right in the middle of the room, took off his hat, and put it on top of his face. I never understood why he does that, but I've just been going along with it. I don't wanna call her out and risk being his next target. I value my life, thank you very much.
I looked over to the other couch and Georgia and I exchanged an amused glance. Texas has a big thing for fire. He's kind of a pyromaniac. Anything within his reach is bound to either be shot with one of his 16 bajillion guns or go up in flames within the next minute or so. Sometimes both, if he's in a good mood. This wasn't the first time that poor Liberty, our pit bull, had been a victim of this cruel fate. Once, Georgie and I had to hose both her and the whole yard down because her tail caught on fire as she was running around outside.
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Massachusetts shook his head and stood up from where him and New York were busy playing some kind of card game. He threw his cards down on the carpet and brushed off his pants, before turning toward everyone in the room.
"Well then, I'm gonna go help the damn dog, don't anyone die while I'm gone. Help would be appreciated." And with that, he was out the door. Being the most reasonable states of the group, Delaware and York followed right after him.
"Ohohoh wait, guys..." Texas said, a smirk crossing his face.
"What is i-" Mississippi started, but paused when he looked over to where Texas laid sprawled out on the carpet
"Oh god Tex, don't give me that look. What could you possibly be planning now...?"
Texas giggled, sat up, and looked around the room. New Jersey was smoking over by the door, Georgia and Alabama were watching videos on Alabama's phone, Mississippi was snacking on the couch, Louisiana was off over in the kitchen making some kind of soup, Florida was half asleep, staring out the window, Virginia and West were bickering about who-knows-what, as per usual, Cali was painting her nails, and everyone else was watching TV. Mass, New York, and Delaware were still outside with Liberty.
Texas giggled a little before catching himself. Oh, how he loved mischief.
"Now that everyone sane is gone, why don't we have a little bit of fun?" I grinned.
Cali set down her bottle of rose gold nail polish and blew on her nails. Then she looked up at me, an intrigued look on her face.
"Whatever it is, I'm in. I'm bored out of my mind." She replied nonchalantly.
I leaned back a little and ran my fingers through my dirty auburn-colored hair. There were so many things we could do. We could burn things, which is always fun, but Dad hates when we mess with fire. We could shoot things, but we'd probably get in trouble, which isn't anything new but that would be the fourth time today. I always have fun shooting stuff, but sometimes stuff goes wrong, like that one time I shot Mexico right in the leg because I kinda sorta maybe thought he was a bird. Poor guy was in the hospital for so long. But hey, I mean it's not my fault he looks like a giant bird man!
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Wait...
That gives me an idea...
As we finished hosing off Liberty, who, by the way, looked absolutely traumatized, but luckily not on fire anymore, a very concerning amount of laughter began to come from the house. I glanced over at Mass and York, and we all shared an expression of pure fear.
"Should we go check on them...?" New York asked, lowering the garden hose onto the grass, where it continued to run water, which soaked into the ground. Great, now there's freaking mud everywhere.
"Definitely." Mass and I said in unison.
As the three of us walked closer to the front door, the sounds of pure chaos just got louder and louder. Eventually, we were standing on the doorstep looking back and forth to each other, trying to silently figure out who was going to be the unlucky one to open the door and unleash pure havoc.
"I vote the oldest to go first." New York said with a shrug.
"I second that." Mass replied and shifted his gaze over to me.
I sighed. I wasn't going to argue, I stand no chance against those two. I shook my head and grabbed the doorknob, then slowly pulled it open to reveal the madness that had been going on while we were gone.
Well, to put it short, it was not what we expected.
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