as I awoke with a panicked start. The sun was absent though it was a no-brainer it would soon rise, I'd been here before. Mud clung to my bare skin; tiny twigs had coiled into my hair. Rough and icky I cringed at my naked form as I tried to peel off the dried mud from my arms and legs. Tall Trees with wide, ruffling leaves surrounded the area that was close to the Alpha's gated compound guarded by the first line of Deltas in security. That would tackle me and give me up to the disciplinary office for trespassing in the private area.

Clearly, I had sleepwalked and slept in the woods again.

The second time in a new week and as the first drops of rain touched my bare skin, I hugged myself desperate and close. Shielding from view all the important parts even though there was no one around to trespass on my privacy. For no one dared to walk this part of the woods without clearance from the council. I'd never been caught since I'd started sleeping walking near the Alpha's private compound. It had to be the gods doing; using sleepwalking to reach out and communicate with me. I could feel their urgency in my bones every time I woke up like so. With just as much force I would close myself off and dare to pray away the mate they had imposed on me back to them.

I knew it was Blasphemous of me to do so; it was unheard of, unholy, sinful and if my parents learnt the truth they wouldn't look at me the same. Despite all of that there was a sliver of hope within me that needed the gods to look within me and see my determination. So that they would grace me with a second mate or a way of escape from Brady Victrolli. Thereby fasting, praying and a whole lot of misleading had become my new life.

Dark and grey the rain fell down on me with heavy pelts, it was the gods trying to lash me into submission.

I looked up and searched for a bolt of lighting coming down my way, but there was none. The heavens were just angrily dark even as though the moon was still high up. I looked over my shoulder, searching the perimeter behind me with my wolf sight. I was only a minute's walk away from the Alpha compound, and that damned scent was working its pull inside me. My heart pounded hard against my chest, my knees weakened, mouth dried up as my body started to heat up a little. My head ached through the suppression and my wolf-sight became hazy as well through my self-denial.

All I had to do for relief was make a grab for one of the boxers I had littered in hidden little places of the woods, exactly for mornings like this and head over to the blue bloods with the truth. A faint whisper of a voice emanated from my heart counselling me on honesty and honour, but the memory of Brady's unsolicited picture. From the day I came of age plastered itself wide and full in colour in my mind. Reminding me why exactly that wasn't a good idea. Why? Why had the gods given him to me as my mate?

Him!

Whom amongst many other distasteful things I had once overheard talking boastfully. Bragging with his friends, negatively kissing and telling about the type of girls they sent such pics to. Clearly, he thought of me that way, 'thirsty, easy, loose.' I pulled on my clothes, knowing the rain had gotten me good anyway. I huffed at the memory of the pic and how that showed his opinion of me. I then began my journey that would take me home. Turning wasn't an option for my wolf couldn't be trusted. The last time I had turned to hurry home my wolf diverted and almost made it to the Alpha's compound.

"Malik is that you?" a familiar voice, with a familiar scent called.

I picked my pace up, but the familiar delicate scent grew closer causing my nostrils to flare and its pull caused my heart to drum harder against my chest. The sound of footsteps directly behind me made me widen my eyes; with fear and excitement at the same time. A hand landed on my shoulder spinning me around to stand face to face with him "Didn't you hear me talk to you?"

Honestly, I found it warm and bizarrely romantic that he ran to catch up to me.

The thought that Brady, our school's football star player, our pack's pride and joy for he was the next Alpha with all the conventional proportions and good looks. Had actually braved the heavy rain to run after me, made my insides mushy with warm feelings pushed by the electrifying bond. I now only had on a pair of speedos and where I would've normally obsessed about hiding away my less than perfect body. I didn't care, my knees were weak, my heart was pounding so hard and my arms wanted to wrap themselves around his neck. Sexual and romantic interest was growing in me, further with each second he stood before me, his hand still on my shoulder. I was contemplating lifting my eyes to gaze from the muddy ground to look into his, and maybe say something.

But then he opened his mouth and demanded. "Dammit, I'm talking to you?"

"I'm not obligated to reply you, you're not my Alpha." I snapped without thinking and once again, completely miffed by his entitlement. It wasn't just what he said, it was mostly the tone he'd used and the way his forehead was creased. As if I annoyed him as if I was a child caught wandering alone in the woods. Disappointed and angered, I began to turn away and out of his strong grasp.

His hand stopped me from pivoting, just as the heavy rain suddenly stopped pouring and it started to look like morning again. Brady gave me a lopsided grin I found sickeningly attractive. "Maybe so, but I'm still of the Alpha blood and you're in my territory." his hand moved to my neck and the hairs on my back stood. I could feel and hear the pressure of my own pulse speed, my mouth ran dry and my eyes watered with yearning. When he gave me a suggestive once over followed by. "How do you suppose I should punish you?"

Anger and embarrassment flooded me. Exactly how did he see me? I'd seen how him and his friends punished people in school. Boys tied to poles, the freshmen line on the football team locked in trash cans, faces smashed with lunch trays. I'd seen them do it all. My blood ran cold as I wondered again, why the gods had given him to me.

"Brady!" a familiar female voice called.

I swatted his hand away.

He looked at the hand that had swatted him and a crease formed on his forehead.

"Brady, where are you?" the female voice called again.

"I found him!" he called back, voice humbled and less sleazy.

No second later, a girl in her late twenties with similar but softer features to Brady's emerged from the closely knitted trees and leaned on one smiling. "Is my stupid brother giving you trouble?" she quirked a brow.

The Victrollis were by no means snobs even Brady when you really thought about it. Once out of high school they would relocate. This meant that the rest of the pack even those on the council rarely saw them often for they would only come back for summer breaks, special and wedding ceremonies. His second eldest sister had been back close to a month now, running errands and checklists. For the graduating wolf class to ensure the blessing ritual went down perfectly. Plenty of times I'd heard my mother and Malia coo at the Victrolli girl's beautiful appearance, but looking at her hourglass frame and having heard her voice I realized they had forgotten to mention how kind it sounded. So unlike her brother.

"Why do you always think I'm always causing trouble? Besides I'm friends with him."

"That's because you and your friends always are. Isn't that right Malik?" She raised a brow at me as if questioning if we were.

I cursed over a glance to Brady and he was smiling; a boyish, kind of grin sitting on his delicious looking lips. My knees went weak, heat started to make my heartbeat thrum through my ears. "Yes!" I cleared my throat looking at the ground. "Yes, we are...friends. Not best friends or anything more...we're just...we are friends that's all."

His sister walked up to me and gave me her green knee length coat. "Well, you have a bad friend in Brady." She cast him an admonishing side eye and explained. "He didn't even give you something to cover up with."

Immediately Brady started to take off his letterman jacket.

She raised a palm to make him stop, "No need, it's drenched in rain besides I have something warm for him in the truck. Come with me love."

The truck turned out to be a minibus and soon as we reached the door she told me to take off the rain-soaked raincoat and replace it with a warmer one inside her minibus. She went to take her seat in the driver's seat. Brady was behind me, he placed a hand on the small of my back and led me inside the dark-lit minibus. "Get in I'll help you."

I didn't think, I was too sensitive to his touch and hearing his voice behind me so close to my ear.

"Here," he was still behind me, so close behind me. His warm hands were on the collar of his sister's raincoat, helping me take it off. As he did so his warm hands brushed along my skin and that heat flared up again. I felt blood rush to pool in my groin area, too comfortable that we were in a private and dark space. Had I been facing him I would have freaked out at the possibility of him seeing me sport a boner. But, thankfully he was behind me and there was comfort in knowing that he couldn't see anything from our position. My back to his front and also soon I would be in another coat so I could hide my heat and try to cloak my scent. I expected to be given a coat right away however Brady started to pat down my back with a drying towel, "You're wet with rain. Here, let me." He said.

Obviously, more heat engulfed me as I felt him pat my bare skin.

Just then snickers came up.

I froze, I didn't think anyone else was in the minibus besides Brady and me I. Brady didn't seem surprised he kept patting to dry my skin.

I adjusted my eyes and finally saw them, Tyler and Evan exchanged glances and without even trying to conceal their mockery they started laughing. Loudly and looking in my direction. I then dropped my eyes to inspect if my strain of arousal was visible. Very much to my horror it was very aroused and very visible through the wet shorts.

"I take it that something's going on here that I don't know about?" Brady commented.

"Fuck. Bruh don't...don't touch him," Tyler spluttered his words, in reply to Brady.

"He's wet, I don't want him to dampen the seats," Brady said.

Tyler took on a sleazy and teasing tone, "He sure is wet, isn't that right Malik?"

Then it was three of them; Tyler, Greg and Evan lying flat on the omnibus seats. All three sets of eyes were on me, lips pulled into wreckage, mocking grins before they all burst out laughing at me. I shifted, scrambled really searching for that coat. Any coat because for some reason the gods had me in hell. The strain hadn't relaxed it had stayed firm holding onto the pheromones coming off the oblivious Brady. Their laughs prickled my ears, tears stung my eyes and if I needed any more proof that I was the biggest loser ever it was that despite where I looked I couldn't find any damn coat or cover-up.

"Why do you always get a boner around Brady?" Greg asked.

"I have a mate!"

"Ok. So why get a boner around Brady when you have a mate?" Evan asked.

I was panicking and I couldn't find any cover-up. "That was one time!"

Brady turned me to face him, his blue eyes dropped to my rain-soaked boxer shorts. Despite expecting it the press of the pronounced look he got shocked me. The rain dripping down from my hair felt too wet and then it felt frozen. My heart that was once drumming so loudly in my ears, slowed, then I swear it stopped before it went harder. Like the loser they all thought I was I lost my words but I least fought to hold the tears from falling. I stared into Brady's blue eyes dumbly, sickly and a certain I look I can't describe crossed his features to give me a faint hope. But just as fast it was gone and anger, shame, and that feeling of humiliation resurfaced. I was sure that any second from that time I would wake up - it had to be a dream.

"Do you want Brady to fuck you?"

I snapped, "Shut up Tyler,"

Evan was next, "Tyler is sorry, what he meant is do you want Brady here to make love to you?"

"Guys," Brady said in a chastising tone, as he handed me a coat, his face turned towards the seats where his friends were lying in.

Greg calmly asked Brady nodding to me, "Brady you should fuck him."

"What? Ew. No" Brady's reply was fast, firm and it hurt me.

'Ew. No'

It made it sink in for me, that I could never be with someone who couldn't stand me. Someone who would puke at the idea of a hypothetical situation where he was with me like that, yet had sent me pictures and a message that could've said otherwise. That truth felt unreal, and it pained my esteem that despite all of it, he was my actual mate. The person the gods had seen fit for me to spend the rest of my life with. At sixteen, I was only a teenager, a minor allowed to have sex but not yet to vote. The rest of my life was such a long time to be with someone who found disgust at the idea of being with me. I felt out of my body as though I was outside of myself looking in. It felt like a dream but this was no dream, it was real life and the gods weren't changing it fast enough. "I can't," I whispered to myself.

"What was that?" Someone asked.

"Stop the car," I felt that familiar pringle of tears nip at my eyes, "stop the car!" I repeated banging on the windscreen so his sister could hear me.

"What? What's wrong sweetie?" She opened up the section window and asked.

"Pretty boy, wants a moment to cry because Brady won't fuck him," Evan claimed.

"No person would for that matter - he's obviously a crier and no one wants to feel like a date rapist," Tyler spoke.

"Hey! Hey! Watch it." Brady's sister lashed. "What's wrong Malik?"

How does one answer that without looking like a massive loser?

"Malik?" She prompted.

"Brady, hold his hand he's about to have an episode," Greg whispered so I would hear, but not the Alpha female.

"Stop the car!" I was getting frantic and unfortunately playing into the part they had already cast me in even before I was this tall. "Drop me off here."

The tires screeched and the car stopped abruptly. "Malik are you o..."

I didn't wait to hear the rest of her sentence before I was out of the truck and shifting. Desperately running to escape the pull that was strangling me and the shame. That was burying me under the tangible evidence of why I was motivated to lie in the first place.