Looking through the window completely don't know what our feelings like is quite weird. It's like you don't have any emotion inside you that really show what you feel inside.

That's what happen to me right now , I don't know what happen to me but it's like I'm feelless. I don't know if I'm tired , I don't know if I'm legit don't like this guy or like the guy , I don't know what to do , I don't know what I'm going to do and things like that.

I'm lifeless this night and I don't know why

"You okay?" Suddenly Dan's voice makes me go back to reality

"I'm fine" I smiled awkwardly to him

"You've been staring at your meat for a long time , is everything okay?" He asked worried and I just nodded , I cut my steak and eat it. I know my phone has been vibrating since I sit on Dan's car , it doesn't stop vibrating

"Thanks for the meal , I'm sorry if I just walked out from the exhibition it's jus-"

"It's okay Janet , you already apologise a few times so it's fine" He chuckled lightly as he sipped his drink.

"Sorry for spacing out too" I added

"Stop saying sorry Janet , it's not a big deal" He smiled

"Thankyou really" I said

After Dan picked me up , we just went to a steak restaurant a couple of blocks from our hotel so it's not far. I even know how to go back to the hotel. I need to be alone , I know this feeling.

I need really need to be alone.

After finish eating , Dan payed it but nefore that we had an arguement who will pay and everything but he ended up winning and he will let me pay in the future. When we walked to the car I kinda told him that I wanted to be alone and walked back to the hotel.

He doesn't let me at first because this is London not New York and I might get lost or something but I assure him that I'll text him when I arrive at the hotel.

He still hesitate about letting me go alone but at last he left and I walked at the road towards the hotel. I just walked slowly and admiring the road and the building with a really empty mind.

I have a gone through this situation a couple of times when I'm sad and just need a break from everything. I will walk carelessly without caring about the time , situation for hours.

I suddenly miss my mom , it's been years since she left the world and I've been quite lonely. My dad acted weird and he's now in coma , my brother is in a different state and my bestfriend kinda busy with her journalism work.

I don't even have a boyfriend that I can share my life or love. It's not that boys doesn't hit on me , they continously come but I don't have enough money to spare to date and have fun. I don't have a time to have fun in life and it's just tiring sometimes.

Wanting to have an ordinary life with my parents supporting me and I don't care if I have a small house but at least I'm not lonely.

People said that I'm a tough girl , I sure am. I live my life from a scratch.

Suddenly I really want to write my blog , I miss writing. I didn't get the time to write much but my fingers are now itching. Deciding to go to the nearest coffee shop and opened my phone.

I rolled my eyes as I saw 58 missed calls from Sky and a 49 messages from him. Still don't get him , I put my phone in airplane mode and start writing.

Writing is my passion but I didn't get the time to write a novel because I have to work for living and being a writer doesn't have a monthly salary so it's quite hard to reach my dreams.

That's why I started my blog , it began with stories and tips. People attracted to that thing so I gain followers.

I started writing and unconsiously spend a few hours there , I write and write and write nonstop until I decided to stop. I stood up and walked out from the coffee shop after paying for my americano.

Putting my phone back to my bag and walked towards the hotel. Taking a really deep breath and let it out before I walked inside. The cold air meets my skin and it makes me shiver. I looked at the ground and walked towards the lift.

I stopped as I saw a nice black leather shoes on the ground , looking up and found Sky in a really dark expression.

"Where were you?" He asked

"I was eating dinner" I said not wanting to fight or argue with him

"Alone? For 4 hours? Do you even know what time is it now?" He asked me without breathing and looked into my eyes worried

"Yeah , I just need time alone" I lied , if I told him that I'm wi-

"You're with Daniel" He stated coldly and what annoys me is that he knew but he asked me

"I'm tired and you should get a rest too , you have schedule tomorrow" I looked into his eyes calmly and walked pass him. Press the lift button and waited for the lift

"Are you okay?" He suddenly asked and I just nodded lightly

"Earlier Was Laura Black my ex , she-"

"I don't care" I cut him and I just realise what I said , I gulped nervously not daring to look at his face. He stayed silent

"Let's have a drink and drunk tonight" He said as the lift door opens

"Call" I agreed to that because I need a drink and it's a good thing he asked. He suddenly grab my wrist and pulled me towards a room , when he opened it revealing a nice luxury bar.

Dragging me to the corner and we both sit there. He ordered some drinks and now we're both in silence again. None of us want to talk but it's not an awkward silent , it's a comforting silent.

The bartender serves us a bottle of alcohol and Sky poured it to my glass and then to his. We cheers silently and gulped it. I can feel the burn on my neck but it feels amazing

"I don't want you to hangout with Daniel" He stated and that made me turn to him

"He's-"

"Using me as a rebound moving on from Laura" I continueing his sentence and he looked at me disbelief

"He's Laura's ex" I added

"Not only that.. he's her husband Janet" My breath got hitch