- Clay -

The months flew by once we got to New York. The first week was slow as we settled in and got our apartment together, but it shifted into warp speed as soon as classes started. I couldn't believe it was already October.

I quickly picked up our dirty clothes off the floor-most of them belonging to Emmett-and stuffed them in the hamper next to the rack of clothes that acted as our closet. I started shoving things in random drawers to make the place look tidy. I'd probably be pissed at myself later when I went looking for my class notes, but that was a problem for Future Clay. Our apartment was a shoebox. We didn't have enough room for anything.

"You stress out about these things way too much." Emmett said. "You don't even know these people. Besides, they already like you. Otherwise, they wouldn't keep following you."

He was partially right. I didn't know most of them. But there were a few I talked to on a regular basis. I had come to appreciate my little community. I talked to them about everything: my life, my relationship, losing my father, my coming out drama, even my anxiety disorder. So many of them claimed it helped to see me pursuing the life I wanted despite the obstacles that many of them related to. These live chats were especially helpful as me and Emmett were going through the process of applying for college, waiting for acceptance, then finally moving to New York. A lot of them gave me advice on where to live, where to eat, and the awesome local places to go if I wanted to avoid the tourist traps.

I stopped to lean over the edge of our bed to give Emmett an upside down kiss. "Wish me luck, baby."

"You don't need it." Emmett gripped my face and pulled me back down for another brief kiss. "But good luck."

I sat in the desk chair, turning so the windows showed off our view of Manhattan across the river. I blew out a breath and pressed the button to start the live stream. Within thirty seconds, I had forty-six viewers. Then two hundred. The number kept rising.

"Hello, all you lovely people out there." I gave a wave. "I see a lot of familiar names popping up. What's up, Brandon? You better be going home for Thanksgiving, dude. I miss the hell out of you. Everybody, say, 'Hi, Brandon.'"

A wave of greetings for Brandon came in.

"Hi, Brandon." Emmett said from the other side of the room.

The comments filled with hearts. Some commenters wondered who was with me. They had to be new.

"That's my beautiful boyfriend speaking, for those of you asking." I flipped to the back camera to show Emmett stretched out on our bed, focused on his own phone. "Say hi, baby."

Emmett rolled his head to the side and waved. "Hi, people."

I switched the camera back to myself. "He's so adorable. Even when he's cranky."

"I'm not cranky." Emmett protested. He jumped up and came over to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my neck. "I'm hungry."

I turned my head to kiss Emmett's cheek. "I'll only be a minute. I promise."

"Okay." Emmett leaned around and puckered his lips. "Kiss?"

I gave him a peck on the lips before he went back to plop down on the bed. A flood of heart-eyed emojis poured in, along with comments about our cuteness. I laughed, reading a comment. "GracieGirl19 called us, 'Couple goals.' What do you have to say to that, babe?" I pointed the camera at him.

"Thank you, Gracie. Mmmwah." Emmett blew an exaggerated kiss. "Love ya, girl."

I scanned the comments as they rolled by. I was up to 1,419 viewers and it seemed they all had something to say. It sometimes blew my mind that I had almost as many followers now as Brandon.

I gasped. "Rachel is here." I smiled and waved at the camera. "Hey, Bean. Love you. I miss you so much. Say hi to Mom and Dad for me."

"Love you, Rach!" Emmett called out.

"Anyway, guys, I just came on to say, it's been exactly one year since I posted my coming out video. I'm so grateful to all of you guys who have followed me and stuck around to listen to me ramble about my boring life. And for those of you who sent me such amazing messages about how I inspired you to come out or to accept your identity, I'm truly touched by that. I literally cry at every one of them."

"He really does." Emmett shouted.

I scowled at him, but he wasn't paying attention, so I returned my focus to the camera. "I've been so overwhelmed by all the love and support I've gotten. It's been one of the most amazing things to ever happen to me. And I know some of you ask if I'll post more, and I will try, but school is a bitch and a half. Besides, I didn't set out to get followers or be quasi-famous and put my life out there. I just wanted to own who I am."

"Baby," Emmet said, getting up to put his shoes on. "Carrie and Summer are downstairs."

"Okay." I looked back at the camera and smiled. "Well, that's my cue. I'm going to celebrate this day with my friends and my amazing boyfriend. Have a great one, guys. I love you all. Bye." I blew a kiss and waved before ending the stream.

I got up and embraced Emmett, giving him a proper kiss now that we were alone.

"I can't believe we've been together for over a year." Emmett said.

"I know." I hooked my arms around Emmett's neck. "I can't believe we actually made it to New York together. It's been everything I didn't know I always wanted." I cupped Emmett's cheek in my palm. "It's more than what I pictured for my life."

"Because you didn't think you'd go to college?"

"Because I thought I'd be a shell of a person forever, never really connecting to anyone that I was with. You gave me love, Emmett Noble."

"I mean, how could I not love you? You're delightful." Emmett said with a soft chuckle.

"No. That's not what I'm talking about. I don't mean you gave me your love, as in you love me. Which is amazing, and I'm so grateful to have you. But I mean, meeting you, being with you, brought that out of me. It gave me the feeling of love. Feeling it, understanding it. And, as corny as it sounds, falling in love with you made everything make sense."

Emmett pressed his lips together as his cheeks reddened.

"Before you, Em, I had a picture of my life and my future, and I understood the picture. I could recognize it, but it didn't look right. It was grainy and dark. Then you showed up and yelled at me for being an asshole, and it changed everything. What I saw became this new image that was so much more clear and honest. And it was always there. I just needed help to focus and see it the right way." I shook my head, sighing. "I'm sorry. That was such a terrible metaphor."

"Don't worry. I know exactly what you mean."

"Good, 'cause I felt like I was being a bit too rambly to make any actual sense."

"After a year with you, I know how your mind works." Emmett gave me a peck on the lips. "It's a twisty place, that mind of yours, but it makes sense to me."

"Well, that makes one of us."

Emmett laughed and squeezed me tighter, kissing my cheek. "Come on, weirdo. Let's go before Carrie and Summer yell at us for wasting their time after they both traveled for over an hour to get here, which you know they'll mention."

"I thought one of the perks of being gay was you get to show up to things up whenever you want and claim to be fashionably late."

"I have literally never been so turned on by you as I am in this very moment."

I laughed and hooked my arm around Emmett's waist as we headed out to meet our friends.