《He Says He's Just A Friend》Chapter 21 - Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
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Emmett sat on the countertop in my kitchen while I stood beside him, making him a sandwich out of some truly bizarre items. Who would put marshmallow fluff on a sandwich with salami, pimento cheese, and black olives? But he must've asked for those ingredients because he watched me make it without a word of rebuttal. Actually, he was talking about unicorns and how they come in all different colors. "Some of them can even change their color. Like that horse in The Wizard of Oz."
"I didn't know that." I said, because I didn't know that.
"They're very pretty." he said. "Not as pretty as you, though."
I blushed because Emmett had never said something like that to me before. I looked up into his green eyes. All shimmery like kaleidoscopes with that golden ring at the center.
"Are you okay?" Emmett asked.
I shook my head. I was not okay. I moved to stand in front of Emmett. Slowly, I stepped forward to stand between his legs, resting my hands on his thighs, the way he did to me that one time in his room after I drew on his foot.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I think you're pretty too."
"I didn't know you were into guys at all. You never said."
I chuckled. "You never asked."
"That was very dumb of me." he said, because that was very dumb of him.
"I've never felt this way about anyone else. I think it's what you're supposed to feel when you... want someone."
"You think you want me?"
I licked my lips before giving a brief nod. "I just wanna try something." I inched closer until I could feel his breath against my lips.
"Okay. If that's what you really want."
My lips gently touched Emmett's for a moment before quickly retreating. "How was that?"
"It was nice." Emmett said, keeping his tone soft.
"Can I try again?"
"Sure."
Moving my hands up to his face, I drew him toward me. Once again, I pressed my lips to his, only this time I didn't pull away. I kissed him for real. And he kissed me back. His fingers curled into my hair. We kissed like we never wanted it to stop. Like we were in love. It was hot and intense and ferocious.
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I finally broke away. I giggled when I looked up and saw that Emmett's crown was crooked now. I carefully removed it from his head and set it among the sandwich ingredients, afraid it might break if our kisses continued to be so frenzied.
I brushed my hand across his cheek. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the night we met. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up. And you're the last thing I think about at night. I never smile more than when I know I'll get to see you. But it's never enough. Every time we're together, I imagine telling you how I feel. I think about the way you'd kiss me, how it would feel to touch you. Or even just to hold your hand, and have you know what it means to me."
Emmett stared at me with all the devotion I longed to see in his eyes every day.
"I want you, Emmett. I want you in every way I can have you."
Without a moment's hesitation, Emmett pulled me into a kiss. I broke away long enough to pull my t-shirt over my head. I pushed him onto his bed in that little cubbyhole surrounded by those royal blue walls. Our little hideaway, where I always felt so safe. The TV hanging above his bookshelf played all the best moments from our friendship. All the memories that played on loop in my mind before going to bed, hoping to dream of him.
Emmett shoved me rather fiercely, knocking me onto my back. He climbed on top of me to continue kissing me. He said my name, which made me smile. Although it sounded too far away. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, hooking a leg around his waist. He was solid and warm. The weight of him laying on me was so reassuring. I leaned into him, rubbing against him, getting very worked up, and not a bit sorry about it.
"Clay!" Emmett said sharply.
I startled, my eyes flying open. I was hugging Emmett. For real. With my leg hooked around his. A pang of fear shot through my chest because I was very hard and very much shoving it against his hip.
I rolled over, sitting up on the edge of the bed. There was no way Emmett didn't feel that. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry." My face burned almost as hot as that time I fell asleep at the lake and got a terrible blistering sunburn. "I didn't realize... I didn't know where I was. Or that you were you."
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Even if this situation had resulted from dreams about Emmett, I couldn't let him know that.
"I get it." Emmett didn't sound mad. Actually, he sounded kind of amused. I turned to see that he was almost smiling. "It's not like you can control what you do when you're asleep."
I pounced on that justification, nodding profusely. "Exactly!"
I wanted to tell Emmett that it had nothing to do with him, but I couldn't lie to him like that. I was already lying to him about how I felt. I didn't want to add more lies to the heap if I could avoid it. "Can we please pretend like that never happened?"
"I finished my book if you want to do something." Emmett tossed the book to the end of the bed.
I was grateful that he ignored the awkwardness. My other friends would never let me live it down if I did that to one of them. Of course, I'd never do that to them, because I would never be in this position with any of them. Even when I slept over at their houses, I never would have slept in one of their beds. If there was no spare bed, I'd sleep on the floor or on the couch.
"So, what did you have in mind?" I asked.
"You're the one who's bored." Emmett crawled around me and got up. "You tell me."
I grabbed my shoes and shoved my feet into them, tightening the laces. "How about we just go for a drive? See where we end up."
"Sure."
We went for a late lunch to Emmett's favorite Indian restaurant. He claimed they had the best curry chicken in the county. I—someone who'd never even tasted Indian food—instantly fell in love with it.
"You're always introducing me to new things," I said as we walked through downtown.
I rarely came around here. I liked the interesting juxtaposition of hundred-year-old brick buildings, with wrought iron detailing, mixed in with brand new high rises made of glass and steel. On a few of the side streets, someone had painted beautiful murals along the sides of the windowless walls. One of them stretched for half a block.
"I didn't realize how sheltered and set it in my ways I was before I met you."
"I'm glad to help broaden your horizons." Emmett sipped on the iced latte he got from a tiny coffee shop in a building that was once a gas station. They'd created a patio where cars used to pull in to fill up, replacing the gas pumps with flower boxes filled to the brim with a rainbow of diverse flowers.
My mind went to the other thing Emmett had brought out of me—this insatiable longing. I wanted so badly to take his hand as we strolled along. I couldn't do it, but that didn't stop me from walking a little too close occasionally, so my arm or the back of my hand brushed Emmett's, sending sparks across my skin.
When a family approached from the opposite direction, I laid a hand on the small of Emmett's back—okay, maybe it was a little closer to his butt—leaning against him to let the group pass. No one could fault me for that. I was simply being courteous to other pedestrians.
"Do you want the rest of this?" Emmett asked, holding his cup toward me. "I think I'm a little too wired to drink anymore."
I already drank an entire iced coffee of my own, but I just couldn't pass up the chance to put my lips where Emmett's had been. I admit, it was weird, but it was all I had.
"You know, you've also taken me out of my comfort zone," Emmett said. "I never would've gotten in a go-kart if it wasn't for you."
I laughed. "That was a fun day."
I didn't mention the next day. We never talked about that day. I suspected Emmett didn't bring it up because it embarrassed him. Also, the whole Duke thing. He probably didn't like dwelling on it. I didn't bring it up because it was the start of these feelings that brought me nothing but confusion and anxiety—a different sort than I'd previously dealt with.
"We should do that again," Emmett said.
I bumped my shoulder against Emmett's. "I'm going to hold you to that, I hope you know."
Emmett shrugged. "I don't mind."
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