I wallowed in a funk of despair and self-loathing for several days, fretting about what happened. I barely ate. I also worried about what I did in the shower when I got home that day—what I thought about while doing it—and what that meant for me.

Emmett was all I could think about. Every time he came to mind, desire took over, overshadowing all other thoughts. Emmett's soft hands grabbing my face, pulling it to his, connecting us at the lips. Then came the tongues, and the hands, and everything else.

I had never experienced this kind of uncontrollable lust for someone before. I'd had five girlfriends, and not a single one of them elicited this response. They were all beautiful girls—Summer more than anyone. I cared about each of them, but I never wanted them like this. I never craved their touch the way I craved Emmett's.

The mere thought of Emmett's hands on me sent me reeling more than actually having sex ever had, and that scared me.

Seeking a non-sexual outlet to relieve all that tension, I tried working out. It always worked on my anxiety. I figured it might help with this, too. I started with my usual jog around the neighborhood. When that proved fruitless, I moved on to more intense exercises: push-ups, pull-ups, crunches, lunges, squats. I tried everything.

Nearly an hour later, I finally gave up the effort. It didn't work. The only way to make it go away was to give in to it.

Afterwards, I showered and dressed, making up my mind that I needed to see Emmett. Distance didn't make the feelings go away, so why torture myself? It had been five days, and I missed him terribly.

How was it possible to miss someone I just met this much?

I drove up the street to pick up a bag of doughnuts from Donut Run. I'd burned enough calories this morning to earn one—or five.

My skin felt electrified as I neared Emmett's street. If I kept going straight, I could just go back home. Back to my old life. Eat my doughnuts and keep ignoring these feelings. Maybe they would eventually pass.

I didn't even realize I'd made the turn until I saw Emmett's house up ahead. Apparently, my body decided for me. My body wanted Emmett, even if my mind was resisting.

I parked at the curb in front of the blue house. I grabbed the bag of doughnuts and headed up the sidewalk, lined with little yellow flowers.

The front door opened before I got there. Emmett's mother stepped out. She was a beautiful woman with the same olive skin and black hair as her son. I hadn't taken the time to notice her the other day, too concerned with checking out Emmett. Also, she had her face mostly hidden behind her giant coffee mug almost the whole time.

Mrs. Noble startled at the sight of me. She clutched at her chest. "You scared me."

"Sorry." I offered a sheepish grin. "I don't know if you remember me, from the other day."

"If I didn't on my own, my son has made sure I can't forget."

What did that mean? Had Emmett been talking about me a lot?

"Is he here?"

She laughed, brushing her hair back off her shoulder. "Emmett is still in bed. He rarely wakes up before eleven when school is out."

"Oh." My excitement deflated, my shoulders slumping. Eleven was two more hours. "I guess I'll just, um... I'll come back later."

"Wait!" Mrs. Noble said when I turned to go. I looked back over my shoulder. "You're more than welcome to try waking him." She pushed the front door open and waved inside.

"I don't want to disturb him."

Mrs. Noble had an impish grin on her face. "I think he'd be okay with it. He'll be more upset if he finds out he missed you."

I perked up at that. "Are you sure?" I asked, already walking to the door.

"Will you tell him I went to work?"

"Sure." I paused after stepping over the threshold. I looked at her. "Thanks."

Mrs. Noble smiled and waved, walking over to her car.

I pushed the door shut and walked up the stairs. My feet felt heavier with every step I climbed. I imagined that scene from A Nightmare on Elm Street where Nancy is trying to go up the stairs, but her feet sink into the floor. My heart hammered against my rib cage as I reached Emmett's door.

I took a deep, steadying breath as I twisted the knob around. The room was dark, so I waited for my eyes to adjust until the light streaming around the edges of the curtains became enough to see by.

Emmett's bed was slotted sideways into the recess in the front wall, by the large window that overlooked the street. I remembered there being a bookshelf at the foot of the bed, too. A small television hung on the wall above it, so Emmett could watch TV in bed. I thought the setup was so cool when I first saw it.

I shuffled over to the bed and perched on the very edge. I set the bag of doughnuts on the floor.

Being closer to the window, I could see Emmett much better now. I hadn't gotten a chance to really study him the few times we'd hung out. I had forced myself not to stare at him. But I couldn't help myself now that I had the opportunity. Emmett had a slight bump in the bridge of his nose. A small beauty mark above his left eyebrow. His round, full lips brought about thoughts of kissing.

I pushed the intrusive thought away, realizing how creepy it was to watch someone sleep. Especially when they weren't aware of your presence. It might be different if we were in a relationship and we'd fallen asleep together. But if Emmett woke up right now, he'd totally think I was a psycho stalker among the ranks of Sting, Edward Cullen, and Joe Goldberg.

I reached out and shook Emmett's shoulder, mumbling his name.

Emmett grumbled but didn't wake.

I tried again. This time, shaking Emmett harder and speaking louder.

"Wha?" Emmett snapped. His lashes fluttered, his eyelids cracking open to look up.

When his eyes met mine, they went wide. He jolted up in bed, clutching his covers in his lap. I jumped to my feet, worried about being too close. Relief warred with disappointment when I saw he slept in a t-shirt.

I didn't know how to feel about wanting to see him shirtless.

"What are you doing here?" Emmett asked. It sounded almost like an accusation.

Now I felt like I was intruding. Even if Emmett's mother told me to wake him, that didn't mean he wanted me here.

To answer the question, I bent down beside the bed to retrieve the bag. "I brought apology doughnuts."

Emmett wiped the sleep from the corners of his eyes. "What are you apologizing for?"

"For disappearing on you. I just got super busy." That wasn't totally a lie. I had busied myself every day to take my mind off those fantasies of him.

"What kind ya got?"

I held the bag out. "A few glazed. I figured that was a safe bet since I wasn't sure what you like. There's also a cruller, a chocolate, and a strawberry iced with sprinkles."

Emmett grabbed the bag and looked inside. "Which one is yours?"

"I eat them all. Just take whatever you want."

Emmett grinned. "You're going to make me fall in love with you."

If only.

"Will you hit the light?" Emmett asked.

I walked over to the door and flipped the switch, blinking against the influx of brightness.

Emmett patted the bed, scooting over. My muscles were sluggish as I went back to sit beside him, tucking one leg under the other. The bed was warm in the spot Emmett had just vacated. I noticed for the first time that the walls around his bed were a deep, rich shade of royal blue. The others were all a much lighter shade, like the powdery blue of the early morning sky.

"These always remind me of The Simpsons." Emmett pulled out the strawberry iced doughnut and took a bite, getting a bit of icing stuck to his lip.

When I imagined leaning over to lick that away, I tugged the hem of my shirt down to cover my lap so he couldn't see the effects of that thought.

"Want a bite?" Emmett asked, holding out the doughnut.

The offer was too tempting to pass up. If I couldn't kiss Emmett, I could at least put my lips where his had been. That was almost as good. Right?

I stretched forward and took a bite, holding my hand under my chin to catch the sprinkles falling off. "It's so good," I said, before licking the excess sugar off my palm.

Emmett smiled and wiped something off the corner of my mouth. I didn't know what it was, but Emmett licked it off his finger.

Oh my fucking God!

I went from halfway hard to full-on rock solid. It was hard—no pun intended—to deny my feelings when my body reacted this way around him.

"Is it horrible that I want you to feel bad every day so I can get doughnuts?" Emmett mumbled around a mouthful of cruller.

I laughed. "I'll bring you doughnuts every morning, if that's what you want."

"God, I really need to find me a man like you." Emmett looked over at me, his eyes wide. "Not you! Obviously. Just someone to lavish me with delicious goodies."

I wanted to say, "I'm right here if you want me." I would give Emmett anything he asked for. But he didn't see me that way. He just wanted to be my friend. He'd made that fact very clear.

So, I bottled up my feelings. I just chuckled and nodded in response.