I looked at the pink clouds slowly spreading over the night sky. I watched as a group of birds spread their wings flying into what seemed like nothingness. I took a drag of my cigarette and watched the smoke disappear into thin air. If it wasn't for my shaking hands it would've seemed like the perfect night.

"What did you do Rachel?" Ava asked.

I tilted my head to face her. I let my head fall back and turned my gaze back to the beautiful sky above of me. My brain flooded with thoughts but I decided to ignore it for another moment. I didn't want to deal with this. Not now. Not in this very moment.

"Rachel, talk to me." Her voice now sounding more demanding. What I once considered the most beautiful sound in the world now made me uncomfortable.

I didn't know what she would think if I told her what I had done. I realized it was a stupid thing to do and if it wasn't for me I wouldn't have messed this up for us.

I wanted to take another drag of my cigarette but my hands were now shaking uncontrollably to the point where smoking became almost impossible. I groaned and threw the cigarette over my balcony.

"Hey baby. Calm down." Ava grabbed my hands and rubbed the sides with her thumb. "You're fine. You're okay."

I smiled, still not being able to look her in her eyes. I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't even know myself what I had done. Maybe James was just hurt and would be fine, maybe his injuries would turn out to be more significant or maybe they'd be fatal. I had no way of knowing. I ran out of there without looking back, and God did I regret that.

My mind spun a million miles an hour. What if he died? What if the police would show up at the door to arrest me? What if I brought Ava in danger? I shook my head. I couldn't believe what I had done.

"Tell me what happened. You can trust me." Ava said, still holding my hand.

I looked into her eyes. Oh those mesmerizing green eyes that could take all my worries with just one glance. They had such a beautiful sparkle in them that I seemed to miss in my own eyes. It reminded me off what I had lost, but also gave me a sense of hope. Maybe mine would sparkle like that again one day.

"I-." I tried to get the words out but the moment i opened my mouth to speak I started to cry uncontrollably. "I don't want you to hate me." I cried.

"I could never hate you." Ava said while stroking my cheeks. "I love you. Nothing will ever change that."

I nodded. "Remember that when I tell you this." I straightened my back and sat back up. "I confronted James today."

Ava her eyes widened and I could visibly see that she wasn't happy. She looked like she wanted to scream but instead she stayed calm. "Why?" She just asked me.

"I hate what he has done to you. He scared you. You look so broken everytime I see you. He can touch me all he wants but not you. I'm not letting him get to you. I need to protect you. I want you to feel safe around me, not having to fear for your life."

"Rach-"

"No, please let me talk because there's more to it. You've always gone out of your way to help me. To protect me. You quite literally saved my life. I for once wanted to do something to make you feel the same way you always make me feel." I gulped. "But I think I messed up."

Ava took my hands and drew little circles on them with her thumb. She knew I didn't want her to say anything so she waited until I started talking again.

"I was very angry when I got to his house. Adrenaline took over I guess." I forced a fake laugh. "I got there, ready to finally stand my ground. I wanted to make him regret what he did to you. I really wanted to but his hold over me seemed to win again and I cracked under his presence. He started saying these awful things about getting rid of me and before I even processed what he was saying he grabbed me by my throat. There was no way I was getting out of this grip and I was starting to feel more lightheaded by the second so I did something stupid. I- I grabbed my keys and with all the strength I had I stabbed him in his back."

Ava stared at me in disbelief. The room filled with silence when I stopped talking. Her hand still in mine made the silence even louder. I just sat there, waiting for her to say something, anything.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.

I was a little taken back by her question. "Yes, but didn't you hear what I just said? I might have.. I might have killed someone."

"Have you not learned by now that I don't care what you do?" She weakly smiled. "Rachel, I am so head over heels in love with you it doesn't matter how bad you fuck up. I love you, and like I said, nothing will ever change that. Do i think it's stupid you went to his place? Yes. Do I hate you for it? No. You were trying to help me and I appreciate that more than you'll ever know, but please don't ever put yourself in a dangerous situation like that. You could've ended up dead. I don't ever wanna come home to the news that my love has died."

I started crying at her words. I had never experienced true love in my life and I never really believed in it. Even being with Ava, I never thought love was real. I just assumed at some point she would break my heart like everyone else did. But here we are, eye to eye as she tells me what's on her mind, and for the first time in what seemed to be forever i saw a glimpse of what love looks like. True love.

"What do I do now?" I asked her. "Should we go to the police?"

"No." She said. "Wait here." She got out of her seat and walked away. I could hear her talk to someone on the phone but I couldn't quite make out who it was. I wasn't sure what she was up to but I could only hope she wasn't gonna pull one of her stunts that she pulled with James again. That didn't end very well. I waited, patiently for her to come back.

"You wanted to travel right?" Ava said as she entered the room.

"Yes?" I was hesitant, not sure why she asked me that.

"Then let's travel."

"What now?" I asked. "I can't just leave now I have to go to the police."

"We can't go to the police. They didn't even take you seriously last time, what makes you think they won't arrest you? You have no evidence of what James has done to you. All they see is a girl stabbing her ex-boyfriend with a set of keys. You don't know how this is going to end Rachel. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."

"Do you really want to do this?" I asked.

"You've finished all your exams. You'll get a call if you've passed your exams, so you don't have to worry about not getting your degree. Let's go away for the meantime. Let's get away from all of this."

"But don't you want to stay here? Your friends? Your family?" I pleaded.

"We won't be gone forever. I'll be fine, but for now all I want is to leave this place for a few months. With you."

"Are you a hundred percent sure?" I asked her. I didn't want her to do something so big out of pity.

She held out her pinky. I bit my lip and slowly locked mine with hers. "I promise you, I've never been more sure of anything."

A smile appeared on my face. "Okay, let's do it."

I looked at our pinkies still locked. "Hey, did you know that seahorses like to swim in pairs?" I said. "They link tails so they don't lose each other."

Ava smiled. "I guess we're seahorses now, I ain't letting go of that pinky of yours anymore."

I grinned. "We're really doing this, huh."

"Yes baby, we're really doing this."

—

The night seemed to be going on for ages. I twisted and turned but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't sleep. I was restless and questioning whether going away with Ava was a good idea, because if we're being honest it was more like running away. I wasn't sure if leaving was the right thing, but everytime I looked at the beautiful woman next to me I couldn't care anymore. All I wanted was to go away with her.

"Hey, are you okay baby?" She asked. She yawned and rubbed her eyes before turning around to face me.

"Oh yea, I'm sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep." I said to her.

"No no, don't be silly. Why aren't you asleep."

"I couldn't sleep, nothing special."

"Oh come her." She opened the covers, ordering me to lay next to her. I scooched over and my shaking body instantly calmed down as my skin touched hers.

"God you're freezing." She laughed, pulling me in closing to her. Her arms wrapped around my body as if I were a Christmas gift. Her lips on my neck made me shiver in the best way possible.

She left tiny kisses all over my neck. Her wet, soft lips drove me crazy. I grabbed her face with my hands and brought her closer to my face. I rested me lips on hers, slowly brushing them against each other. I placed my other hands in her neck and slowly pushed her closer to me.

I took her upper lip in between my lips and softly started sucking on them. She let her head fall back a little so I placed my hand on her throat and slowly trailed down her olive skin with my fingers.

I kissed her. Now with a little more intensity. Everytime I kissed her it felt like a million tiny electric shocks entering my body. Kissing her always felt electrical. Her tongue slowly spinning around mine, fitting around eachother like magnets.

She softly bit my lip before pulling away. "Now go to sleep, sweet girl. Early day tomorrow." She grinned.

"Such a tease you are." I said while turning around. I linked my legs with hers and put my arm around her.

"Sleepwell beautiful." I gave her a kiss in her neck.

"Sweet dreams, my love."

I closed my eyes and let my mind drift off for a second. Even though I was anxious about what the future would bring me I was excited to start this new adventure. I got to travel the world with the love of my life and no matter how hard I sometimes tried to push her away, she never gave up on me. She somehow always made sure I felt safe and loved.

I was obviously going to miss my friends but I really needed to get out of this town for a while. We needed to get out of this town.

I already started thinking of all the things we could do. All the places we could watch the stars together, all the beaches we could lay on, all the food we were going to eat and the places we were going to have sex. I grinned at my own thoughts. I just couldn't help it. I was so excited.

I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a start of a new chapter, and I couldn't wait to see what it had planned for me and my girlfriend.

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hello friends, i am so sorry it took me a million years to update. to be honest i've been kinda dreading writing a new chapter because it's coming to an end and it's hard to write a 'good' ending. i still have one or two chapters left so this will not be the last. i hope you like it!!! i've gained about 20k reads in like a month and i just want to thank everyone for reading, voting and leaving comments!!! it means the world to me 💗💗💗💗