The bell rang. I looked over at the clock. 4pm. I let out a sigh and closed my books. This day has been long enough already but I still had detention to go to. I didn't know if I was physically able to survive that.

I looked over at David. "Wanna come smoke a cig before I head to detention?"

David gave me a big smile. "You don't have to ask me that twice."

I grinned and locked my arm with his as we were walking outside. "God David, how am I gonna survive detention? Look at the state of me! I look like I've died and crawled back to life."

David started laughing. "You do look rough babe. Just freshen up a bit before you go in."

"Yeah, I will." I replied.

I sat down on the stairs in front of the school. I lit my cigarette and took a deep drag. I was too tired to talk so I just stared at the bright sun. Way too bright for me. I felt like a vampire. A million thoughts flooded my brain. I was tired. Too tired to even think. I looked over to David. He knew I wasn't in the mood to talk so he just stared at the sky just like I was.

"I'm gonna go freshen up, alright?" I said to David.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Please be safe, text me when you're done." He answered.

"I will." I gave him a big hug and walked back inside.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I don't even look too bad. I just have to stay awake. I started searching through my pockets. Bingo. I still had some coke left. I put some on my phone screen and crushed the white powder with my school card. I made the most perfect line and grabbed the straw that I used before to snort the line I just made.

I immediately felt so much relief. I could feel the tiredness fade away as my vision started to clear and my body started to work again. I looked at myself in the mirror. No matter how disappointed I was in myself right now I couldn't care. I quickly fixed my make-up and checked my nose to make sure I didn't walk out looking like I just stuffed my nose with powdered sugar.

Classroom 203. I took a deep breath and walked in.

"Hi miss." I quietly said. She looked at me and gave me a soft smile. I could feel my face turning red. How embarrassing.

"Welcome Rachel." She said. "Take a seat." I quickly sat down. I was too nervous to ask her what I had to do so I just sat there looking at the board behind her.

After a painfully quiet minute she looked up from her laptop. "I will go easy on you today. You can use this hour to read the stuff we've discussed in class, because I know you weren't paying attention."

She was not wrong, so I nodded. "I'll catch up on the reading."

I grabbed my books and started reading the very first page. I just stared at the letters and flipped the pages every now and then because I still couldn't properly focus. The letters seemed to dance around eachother, jumping up and down, making it impossible for me to read.

Suddenly a drop of red appeared on the page. It took me a second to realize I wasn't just hallucinating. I quickly reached for my nose trying to stop the bleeding before the teacher saw. I had to get out of here.

Ms Lopez looked up to me. "Oh god, what happened? Are you okay?"

A slight worry displayed on her face. "I'm fine, I just need a tissue." Ms Lopez turned around and grabbed some tissues from her bag and walked up to me. She kneeled down next to me. She softly started pressing the tissue against my nose. I looked down at her and she stared right back at me. Her sparkly eyes gave me a sense of comfort I haven't felt in forever. I looked away.

"Oh don't worry, miss. I don't want you to get blood on your hands."

She put her hand on my thigh. My whole body tensed. "Don't worry about it, I can easily wash it off." I didn't say anything back. Her hand on my thigh caught me off guard, leaving me speechless.

I watched as she walked out of the classroom. I assumed she was gonna wash her hands. I let my face rest in the palm of my hand. I slowly started to drift away. I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I fucked up. I was really still doing drugs while at school? That was low, even for me. Ever since I met james things seemed to get worse every single day. We got high every weekend, didn't sleep for days, I barely attended school and my depression has hit an all time low.

I let out a sigh. I was waiting for a wave of sadness to hit but lately I didn't seem to feel much. I was numb. I so desperately wanted to feel something, anything, but there was nothing. I was empty.

The sound of someone coughing caught my attention. I woke up from my thoughts. I looked up to see Ms. Lopez standing in front of me. She looked sad. Or worried. I couldn't really tell. I didn't even hear her come in. God knows how long she'd been standing there for.

"I'm sorry." I quickly say. "I must have zoned out." I tried to brush it off by smiling.

She looked at me and nods. Still looking at me with a weird look in her eyes.

"Rachel, are you okay? Is there something going on?" I should've seen this one coming but it still took my by surprise. Every teacher knew something was up with me, but none of them seemed to care enough to ask me that question. Although she looked very nice, the thought of me talking to her about what was going on in my life made me cringe.

"I'm fine, miss. I just had a rough day, that's all." I tried to give her a soft smile again but it was weak and probably only showed her that I was in fact not fine at all.

She looked at me sideways. "You're not a very good liar, miss Young. I'll keep my eye on you. Make sure to do your homework, i'll be checking tomorrow."

"Thank you, I will." I grabbed my stuff and walked past her. She briefly touched my arm and gave me a warm look. I smiled back at her and walked out the door. I could finally breathe again.