I woke up to David almost pushing me off my chair.

"Rach, wake up you're gonna get in trouble again."

I slowly opened my eyes and let out a loud yawn. I would sell my kidney to be in bed right now but I still had like 6 hours to go.

I looked at David who was sitting next to me. "Thanks D." He gave me a soft smile.

I felt my heart break just a tiny bit. I recognized that smile, the face, the expression. It was filled with worry and sympathy. All the guilt I was so deeply trying not to feel came back up.

How could I let David down? He is the only person who genuinely cares about me to this day and I was ruining it. My guilt turned into anger very fast. I was pissed. Not at David, but at myself. I was selfish. I knew how worried David was about me and still I waved it off. I kept doing everything I promised him not to do. I still smoke everyday, I still do coke every weekend, I don't sleep, don't work and I barely even go to school. I'm a disappointment. No wonder my parents wanted nothing to do with me.

A tear escaped my eye. Thinking about how I was ruining my life completely made me realize how fucked up I was. A million memories I was trying so hard to push away started coming back to me. I needed to snap out of this before I was gonna lose it.

I looked at David and winked at him. He looked a bit confused but he looked me in my eyes, sticked his tongue out and make a silly face. I giggled. For a second all the worries I had, left my mind. David had this way where he could make me feel like the saddest and happiest girl in the world.

I looked at the clock on the wall. 10:15. Lunch break started in 30 minutes but I couldn't be bothered to stay in class. It doesn't matter how hot the teacher was, nothing could make class better.

I walked up to Ms. Lopez. When I got to her desk our eyes met and everything around me went silent for a second. Her sparkly green eyes met my hazel brown eyes and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't look away. Her eyes were mesmerizing and there was nothing else I wanted to look at. After what felt like forever I finally snapped out. I cleared my throat and asked her if I could use the restroom

"That's alright Rachel." She said while still looking at me. I nodded and nervously turned around, grabbed my bag and walked out the door.

I closed the door behind me and walked directly outside to light up a cigarette. It got too much for me inside. This comedown is worse than I thought it would be. Apart from the anxiety I was feeling, my head felt like it was about to explode and my eyes were so tired it hurt to keep them opened.

I don't know how long I had been gone for but before I could even check the high pitched noise of the school bell infiltrated my ears. Fuck. I forgot to go back to class. I rolled my eyes. Out of all days this is the worst day for this to happen. Instead of going inside I decided to smoke another cigarette. No one ever comes outside during lunch break so it's nice to have some alone time, and it's not like I could fuck up more than I already had.

I heard someone opening the door. I took a drag of my cigarette and looked up to see who it was. Standing there was no one other than Ms. Lopez. I turned my face away from her, not wanting to deal with confrontation. As she started walking up to me I didn't quite know what to do with my cigarette so I just stared at the ground until she was stood right in front of me.

" I didn't see you back in class, Rachel." She said to me.

A wave of shame hit me. I looked back at her. "I didn't really feel well. I just needed a breather."

She looked at me with a little more sympathy than she did before. "How come?" She asked me while lighting up a cigarette for herself.

I was surprised at the sight in front of me. I looked at her while she put the cigarette closer to her lips. Watching her smoke a cigarette turned me on for no god damn reason.

I snapped out of my creepy behaviour and answered her question. "I'm really tired, I didn't sleep very well last night." I'm not lying and you could definitely see that I was tired so I'm sure she'll buy it.

She looked at me and a warm smile appeared on her face. "Just tell me next time instead of disappearing from my class and if you need anything you can always talk to me."

I now felt even worse for leaving class the way I did. I gave a her a smile back. "Thank you miss."

She put out her cigarette and walked towards the door. "See you in detention, Rachel." She walked away from me through the door as I watched her until there was no sight of her left. Fuck. Detention.