True P.O.V

I don't know what I expected when I walked up to the school, I was wondering if anything would change. Maybe some of my bullies would lay back a little because of how far they had already pushed me. I didn't really think that was actually going to change. Why would they stop? They had been begging me to end it for what seems like forever I think they're probably disappointed that I was still alive, and I was in the same boat as them. I still felt like I should have died, but I didn't want to kill myself anymore, I think it's because I made my brother suffer in the small amount of time between the house and the hospital, he probably thought I was going to die. I didn't want my brother to ever have to go through that ever again.

I didn't want him to go through it again.

I walked slowly, as slow as I could towards the doors not wanting to enter the building but knew I had to. I couldn't' skip school, mom would get a call about me missing school. She would be upset with me for skipping, and maybe even result in the abusive version of my mother would return and the old pattern would start up again and the evil version of my family would return and life would become bad again. I didn't want to have that issue restart, it would make my life once again, awful. It's gotten a little better since the attempt but I think they're only treating me like this now because I had almost died. I give them about a month or so before the old them return.

I saw the double set of doors, and that's when my body froze temporarily. A sense of fear crept through my body as I glanced around the scenery and almost every bad thing that had happened came rushing to me and knocked the breath out of my lungs as a subtle panic set in before I snapped out of it and took another step towards the school, calming my breathing. I look back up at the school heading towards the double doors with a small hint of hesitation as half of my body was urging me to turn around and never return to this hell hole.

I took a final deep breath before pushing the doors open and stepping into the school. The hallways were empty as everyone was already in class and a small sense of dread filled me yet again, my first class is Science and Science equals Mr. Troy's classroom and I don't want to see this man, the pervert he is. I hate that man, and he deserves my hate, he deserves to die. It made me wonder how his three kids are, how they've been raised if they knew that their parents are rapists. It made me wonder what would happen to those kids if they're parents are ever caught by the police. I personally wanted to the meet these kids but another part of me doesn't want to know, I don't need to know to live my life. It was just simple curiosity.

I walked down the hallways slowly before I found myself standing in front of the door, trying to calm my heart rate as it began to skyrocket. I unconsciously rubbed my stomach and I was about to rub my left leg through my jeans before I caught myself. I shouldn't be panicking, there's nothing to panic about. Well, besides the rapist teacher inside this room, oh and my peers who were scarier than some gang member in my eye.

I work up the courage before I made a fist and knocked on the door, a breath escaping as I waited for Mr. Troy or another one of my peers to open the door for me. I'd be getting my stuff later, I don't need it right now.

The knob turned and the door opened and Mr. Troy looked up and his mouth popped open like he didn't expect me to be here, more so alive. A small hint of guilt was in his eyes, but lust was stronger than the guilt, making me feel disgusted yet again.

He didn't say anything, his mouth was just stuck in a gasping like a look. He stepped to the side and let me into his classroom, and when I stepped in all the conversations stopped instantly. I looked around the classroom at my peers and saw shocked faces. They didn't look like they expected me to show my face at this school ever again. They all knew I had attempted to kill myself, Claire confirmed it, they all probably thought that meant I actually succeeded. My peers are truly dumb.

The class remained silent until Mr. Troy told me to go to my seat which was where it was before, empty of life. No one sat at the desk that I had claimed at the beginning of the year. I walk to the back of the room, surprised that no one attempted to trip me, but I think they didn't trip me because they were in shock. Shocked that I was alive.

I took my seat and glanced up at the class seeing people staring at me with shock before noticing that I was looking at them before turning away, some pulling their phones out, most likely going onto social media, or messaging someone else about me being here, which seemed to shock everyone, as they didn't talk at all throughout the whole school.

I saw Mr. Troy continuously glancing in my direction like he expected me to disappear ever time he looked away. Yes, the guilt was apparent in his eye, it was kind of unnerving. He should be guilty they should all be guilty. In the end, even the smallest part of the reason I tried to kill myself should weigh on they're shoulders because they should know it was partly their fault.

I sat in the back of the room not paying a lot of attention to what was happening in the classroom, I was actually trying to ignore the constant glancing I was getting, the peaks from the corner of their eyes. I wanted them to ignore me, pretend that I didn't exist like some of them did before. I didn't want or need the attention, I wanted to be left alone. But I knew that wasn't exactly possible.

When the bell rang, everyone got up, giving me side glances before leaving. I myself got up when only a few students remain, not wanting to be trapped in a classroom with Mr. Troy, but I didn't want to leave with the main crowd. When I entered the hallway, I felt loads of eyes land on me as I walked towards my locker, wanting to get my books for my class, a slight pain coming from my left side of my stomach, the urge to rub it was strong, but Karin said that it would aggravate the wound more than it already was so I ignored the pain as best as I could.

I walk to my locker, opening it, a small blush appearing on my cheeks as I felt many eyes, watching me, watching my every move like hawks. It was uncomfortable. It was really unnerving and that's when I felt arms wrap about me. The person was slightly taller, but not by a lot, and it only took me about five seconds to realize who was hugging me before I hugged back.

Kyle.

He was slightly crying, I felt his tears soak slightly through my shirt. It was making my shoulder wet but I wasn't letting Kyle go. He needed this comfort. The bell rang overhead but it was apparent that Kyle wasn't planning on letting me go anytime soon, so I sat us on the floor and when a teacher came out to get the few remaining students to go to class, she glanced at us, realized who we were, she simply allowed us to remain in the hallway, she knew the situation. Suicidal teenager reunites with a friend. She was right to not disturb us, I would have been upset and I knew Kyle would have been as well, and he potentially might have thrown a fit.

After about ten minutes Kyle releases me and sits directly in front of me, red eyes, puffy from all his crying, though he was older than me, I felt like he was younger at the moment.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to remove all the tears in his eyes when he spoke, his words broke my heart, "You broke your promise." It took me a second to remember what exactly he meant before I saw the hoodie he was currently wearing. My promise hoodie. My heart stopped for a minute as I saw how to hurt Kyle was by me breaking the oh so important promise, before I reached a handout, and touched his cheek he was shaking slightly. I rested my forehead on his. Letting him feel my heartbeat.

"I know I did, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I felt myself tear up. I refused to let the tears fall, I've cried to much within the past few weeks. A school was not the place to let my tears fall.

"W-why?" Kyle asked, and I knew he wasn't asking why I was sorry, he was asking why I tried to kill myself. I knew at that moment that I had to tell him everything, I couldn't keep it trapped inside anymore.

"R-remember that survey we took the other day?" I asked him, making him pull away from our forehead position and looked at me confused on why I was asking him about that, probably wondering how it was attached to my suicide attempt.

"Yeah, why? What does that have to do with anything?" He asked looking at me with so much confusion.

I ignored the latter part of the question and asked him another question. "Do you remember all the questioned they asked? The topics?" I asked looking at him in the eyes. I knew my eyes weren't as dead looking as they were days before my suicide. They had looked lifeless.

"Umm, Bullying, Family, Sexually I know there was another one," Kyle said with an uncertain amount of fear filling his face when he said sexually as if he was hoping deep inside that sex or something sexually related wasn't involved.

"Do you remember the Halloween Dance here at school?" I ask looking at the ceiling not wanting to be eye to eye.

"Yeah, um, I saw you and I danced with Luke and drank a little, I didn't see you the rest of the night though, why?" He said obviously wondering what I was hinting at. I sigh before opening my eyes again.

"A-after I saw you I walked around and then Union found me and dragged me to a room and, and-" That's when the tears fell from my eyes. "He, h-" Kyle pulled me into his arms tears prickling his eyes as he figured out what exactly happened in that room. He hugged me tightly as he shook and I knew it was more so out of anger towards Union than anything else.

"A-a-and dad had friends over once and he dragged me to the basement and l-l-left me with t-them and one l-left but t-the o-other h-he d-d-did the same a-as Union," I said more tears coming out of my eyes as I revealed everything to Kyle bit by bit. I was shaking slightly as well, especially after I realized I haven't see Union yet today but I certainly would during English.

"Shh, shhh, you're okay," Kyle whispered into my ear as he rocked us back and forth trying to calm me down. I tried to slow my breathing, as I was close to having something like a panic attack.

Kyle rubbed my back until I was calm enough to sit back against the locker. I looked at him, and he was shaking slightly.

"So . . . hows it been going for you?" I ask looking at him, seeing small circles under his eyes, and he was wearing clothes from Karin's house meaning he wasn't with Luke and Alister and I was curious as to why.

Kyle laughed without no humor in his voice. "Well, Luke knew ahead of time that you attempted and didn't tell me and let me find out with everyone else and all I could hear was our classmates whispering about how happy they were to have you gone," Kyle said looking at the ground. My mind went to the fact that Luke and Kyle weren't having the happiest relationship as of now when no more than a week before his suicide they were as happy as could be.

And it's my fault.

I reach forward and grab his cheek and force him to look me directly in the eyes.

"You need to forgive him," I started and I saw Kyle about to protest and I gripped his cheeks tighter slightly. "He probably knew it was an attempt and didn't want to worry or frighten you, yes he probably should have told you something had happened, but he was doing what he thought was best, whether his best be right or not, you love this boy Kyle, he's the one, I can see that, forgive him," I said shaking his head slightly. "What your doing is hurting both of you, you're tired, you look weak, I bet you've been barely eating, o back to your man!" I said shaking the life out of my best friend.

Kyle looked me in the eye for a hint of lie and deception, and when he saw neither, he sighed and rested his head on my shoulder and I heard him mutter an 'okay' before he hugged me again, and whispered a 'thank you' into my ear. We stood up and by luck, the bell chooses that moment to ring, which made me and Kyle smile, I grabbed my stuff and started walking towards our class when we heard it.

Shots.