˜All I want to do right now us cry and scream and let it out because it's killing me inside- Unknown˜

True P.O.V

I walked through the school like a ghost, like I was just watching through the eyes in my body, I was just a bystander in the day. I didn't even feel aware of everything, just the motions I made. Like walking or moving my head. I don't even think anyone noticed or cared enough to notice, including Kyle who didn't seem to notice that I wasn't exactly aware of what was going on with me.

He probably know's that theres something wrong but he didn't bring it up, which was his own mistake. He couldn't know though, so it was also potentially my fault, if I told him though, he'd try and stop me and it was simply to late for that, it had been to late for that at the dance, or on November 11th, December 9th, or two days ago, those days, if they hadn't happened . . . I wouldn't be in this position right now, I wouldn't be walking around like a living zombie, nor would I be wishing for my bestfriend, for fucking anybody to see that I was a day from shattering, a day from being free, a day from suicide.

What a wonderful day it shall be.

I walked out of my English class, not even believing that it was just the first class and that I still had a handful more to attend. It was a waste, I wasn't paying the teachers any attention nor was I taking any notes, or would this information any us to me, a kid who was about to kill himself.

But they didn't seem to know that, they didn't know that one of their students would walk out of class tomorrow and never walk back in. They couldn't possibly know, they couldn't even begin to ponder that, because they didn't know me, nor did they care to, it didn't matter though, I don't need saving, I was fine with falling, it was time for me to fall, I was simply dragging people down at this point. I didn't want to drag people down for my life's mistakes, my life's faults, because there my mistakes and my faults and they are mine to deal with.

I didn't want to go to my next class, I didn't feel like going into my assigned Science classroom and seeing one of my rapists and potential reasons for killing myself, even though some could say he was a key point, a key reason, others have no idea he even rapes his students those people the ignorant are the ones who both make me mad and angry at how they couldn't see something right under their noses, and scared at how well Mr. and Mrs. Troy managed to hide the situation so well that you couldn't prove it, well they think they couldn't prove it.

Regardless of the fact that I didn't want to go into Mr. Troy's classroom I still had too, not wanting to go to a class didn't stop me from going before and it wasn't going to stop me now.

Walking down the hallways, I didn't glance up at anyone, keeping my eyes on my shoes, not looking around like I used to, instead the I looked at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the hallway.

I never noticed what a nice color the floors were until now.

I nearly tripped when someone bumped into my shoulder, but I continued to walk, not even looking up at whoever I bumped into, nor did I apologize, it wasn't necessary, they probably didn't even care, I mean, this is high school, people get pushed and shoved all the time, it was definitely nothing new.

I sighed as I walked through the door way of Mr. Troy's room, seeing Mr. Troy at his desk talking to Mrs. Troy, which was nothing new, and I didn't feel like easedropping so I ease through the desks until I get to the back row and sit down before resting my head on my crossed arms, not even caring about how depressed the position made me look, I simply didn't care anymore.

What's left to care about? I couldn't think of anything that could make all the abuse not matter, if even for a moment because there wasn't anything in my life or around me that could make all of it worth living for, the abuse had been to much, made it too damaging, it had broken me too much for anything or anyone to make it better.

I ignored the two teachers as they most likely ploted the next kid to rape, or flirted, or even better, which student to have a threesome with because they love doing that. Both of my teachers are sick, what they are doing, is sick.

I heard the bell ring over head but didn't raise my head, nor did I look up when Mr. Troy started his lesson, I simply didn't care and I felt like a nap, I felt like sleeping forever but that would mean I'd dream and I don't have anymore good memorizes to dream about anymore.

The whole class period was wasted on me thinking about tomorrow and what would happen after I was gone, after nobody had to deal with me and my bullshit anymore, after my burdon of life was gone, after my burdon of life was gone and never to be seen again.

Well besides in a potential news channel or a website and the only reason I'd be put in a website blog or news paper would be because of my fathers money and that was the reason he was well known for a business that wasn't even legal.

I'm not even sure half the things that go on inside the school are illegal because raping underage children is illegal, teacher and student relationships are illegal, allowing bullying between students is illegal, drug trade, which is something I know about under the school ground of the upper class students, allowing children to smoke. These are all things that should be fixed, should be worked on but they aren't, nobody seems to care that these things are going on, and that's fine, after tomorrow, I won't care either.

When the bell rang, I snapped up from my position that screamed I was depressed, and rushed out of the classroom as quickly as possible. I didn't want to go to math either but I still did anyway.

I walk into the class thinking about how the lesson wasn't going to matter after tomorrow, but I looked around the room, seeing people who picked on me, who wished me dead, well would they wish me dead when they find out that I actually did what they asked me to do?

Who knows, I won't, because I won't be alive, I'll be dead and that seems to be what everyone wants, maybe except four people but four out of hundreds doesn't seem to even tap into making it worth staying. I love those four people, but I know I'm a burdon. I know that I'm making life hard for them, so I'm going to walk away and they'll finally be free.

I hope that's what they want.

Because I'm doing it all for them.