True P.O.V

I looked up as the clock clicked and turned to midnight and the twenty-sixteen was offically over and taking it's place was twenty-seventeen. I looked up at the ceiling, wondering what my parents were doing. Mom and dad were probably partying drunkly, not even aware that it was no longer December, but that it was now January and that it was now a new year and that maybe they could maybe turn around and make everything better.

But then I think, if they were abusive before, than their not going to change especially if they didn't change last year, or the year before that. They aren't going to change.

I pull myself up from my bed, wincing when I do. God damn it, my back hurts. I huff quietly, walking the few steps to my door, not even caring about being careful since I was home alone.

Bryan was at a friends house, a friend named Gina. Madisyn was at a sleepover with her girl-friends, Michael was at Ashton, his bestfriends, house. And Chris, who the hell know's where he is right now, or if he's not drunk or high.

He's probably both.

I walk slowly towards the bathroom, and flicking the light on and seeing the pale bathroom fill with a small glow.

I walk into the bathroom, not even looking at myself in the mirror, because I didn't like what I'd see. I mean who would?

I pull my shirt off, and turn around so my back is facing the mirror and straining my neck, I saw the bruises that covered my back from my father's belt. I wince looking at them, the array of purplish bruises that were covering my whole back, making me want to cover my back permanently, well, I wished I could hide forever, and disappear from the world.

I sigh, before turning away from the mirror and yanking my pants and underware off. I walk over to the shower and turn the warm water on and wait for the water to warm up.

I look back over to the mirror, and look at myself one more time. I was covered in bruises, my hair was too long for my liking. I needed to get it cut, but I don't think I have the time to do it.

I get into the stream of water and sigh as I warms my body and as the bathroom slowly starts to steam up.

I look at the dew covered shower wall and think about something I nearly forgot. A new years resolution. I need to give myself one, even though it was really stupid.

I look at the ceiling allowing the water to stream around me.

Before my birthday, I'm going to kill myself.

I open my eyes as water streams into my eyes. That's the perfect New Years Resolution. Regardless of the fack that birthday is on the 30th of this month.

I have thirty days but that seems like a blessing. I'd be free, finely free from this pitiful life, free from all the pain. I'd be away from the people who have been harming and using me. I'd finally be okay.

But I'm not okay right now.

Somedays I just want to go into a store buy a pack of assorted nuts and eat them, and die. I'm deathly allergic to nuts, along with apples and chocolate. But it's worse with nuts.

I don't even think my parents are aware that I'm allergic to these things, I think Chris does because every time we eat out, he'll ask the waiter if the meals we orders have nuts in them, and every time he does his eyes will side glance over to me, because every time I feel his eyes on me.

It's those moments I think he might actually care and then, that thought disappears because he'll punch me, or he'd slap me.

I grab the shampoo and run it into my hair, making sure that none of the suds get into my eyes. That's one of the few reasons I hate showers, the fact that you can get soap into your eyes and the fact that said soap burns like hell.

But whatever.

I scrub the shampoo out of my hair, before grabbing the cheap conditioner, a faintly applying it into my hair, making it feel silky, or that was the hopeful outcome.

I shake my hair as the conditioner and shampoo is cleaned out of my blonde hair and grabbed the tube of body wash, pouring a small amount of it onto my hands before rubbing them togetter and then rubbing the suds it made all over my body, making sure to apply lightly as my poor bruised body couldn't take a lot of pressure on some of the bruises.

Once I was finished, I felt cleaner, which is good.

I mean I hope I'm cleaner otherwise the idea of bathing is a fail.

I hop out of the bathroom, and grab one of the towels and wrap it around my hair and begin to shake in a attempt to dry the hair off. I mean that is the hardest part to dry off.

After I decide the hair is dried, I dry the rest of my body.

After I'm sure no part of my body is wet anymore. I felt a small amount of relief as I was no longer wet and for the fact that I was now clean.

It felt good to be clean. I walk over to the counter, noticing everything was out of place, rearrange everything to it's perfect position, before reaching into the cabinet underneath and grab my hair brush and run it through my locks which were getting way to long for my liking. Once the hair was combed, I wrap the towel around my waist and walk out of the bathroom and head back to my room.

I hurry into my room, regardless of the fact that NO ONES HERE, I close the door behind me and allow the towel to fall into a puddle at my feet and hurry over to my 'closet' and pull out a plain white tee, and a pair of briefs, before I see my phone light up, vibrating on my bed.

Curious I walk over to it, ignoring the towel and grabbing my phone to see who sent the message and see they came from Kyle.

I shake my head as I read the barely readable texts that came from Kyle's phone. That was one of Kyle's issues, he was a secret tellings, giggling drunk, and a drunk texter.

It took Kyle to answer, and in that second I imagined Kyle jumping when his phone vibrated, and him looking down at it with wide eyes before realizing it was his phone.

I frown when I had to wait a few seconds for a respond before switching contact and open Alister.

I got a instant response.

I was glad he didn't ask why, it really was a waste of breath and time.

I type the new number into my phone and begin a text.

I smile turning my phone off before hooking it into the charger and go and lay down. Sighing quietly to myself knowing the morning would be rough when all my family members return one by one.

Fun.