"You can come back in now." I said when I was done changing into the pajamas that Summer had given me.

He got back in the tent and sighed heavily, "I would've closed my eyes." Karsen said and I shrugged as I pulled my hair out from the inside of the shirt, "Well I don't trust you that much yet."

He scoffed, "Yet?" He started as I undid my bra from under the shirt and he was quiet the entire time, possibly not even breathing because I couldn't hear his breathing.

When I pulled it out and dropped it on the tent floor beside me he blinked between me and the bra.

"But you can do that?"

"Its not like you saw my boobs Karsen." I say before I laid back on the floor when he spoke, "Wanna play eye spy?"

"Theres nothing in here to see." I reply dryly and he looked around the tent before I looked to the outside of the tent.

I smiled at a sudden thought, crawling back over to the opening of tent and I looked outside to see the stars slowly splinter all over the sky.

I laid back, staring up through the opening and tapped the space beside me, hoping he'd get the gist of it.

He did.

He came and laid beside me, staring up at the sky too. "Thats scutum." I told him, tracing the constellation out with my finger. "And my favorite, Draco."

"Because of Harry Potter?"

I grinned widely. "Yes." I looked to him beside me, eyeing him thoughtfully. "I didn't think you've watched Harry Potter."

"I only read the books." He admitted and I rose a brow, admittedly shocked at his admittance to actually have read something. "You can read?" I joked dryly and he rolled his eye dramatically causing me to giggle.

I looked back again, tracing another outline. "Little dipper."

He picks his hand up, pointing to constellations. "And big dipper and thats norma."

I blinked, looking to him beside me. "You knew these constellations the entire time?"

He nodded.

I raise both brow, fairly impressed by his knowledge of stars. "You surprise me sometimes Karsen." I tell him, pushing my hair back when I turned over to my side. "You're not just a stupid pretty looking football player." I joked, watching as he zipped up the tent behind us once again. "Did you just call me pretty?" He asked, moving to lay beside me, also on his side.

"I called you stupid too."

He moved a little more closer to me, almost till our noses were grazing and I blinked at the closeness of his face.

"That wasn't as important."

"I thought it w-was."

He smiled.

I think he noticed the smallest little catch in my voice at the last word.

I stared at him.

"You had to know I did want you here, right?" He asked me but I didn't reply. I didn't know. Summer had asked me to come with more than once, not him.

I wasn't one to lie, so I just stared at him.

"Right Adrienne?"

Truth was I didn't think he did.

"I didn't think you'd come and I didn't want to force you."

I don't reply. I only blink.

"Say something."

Arg.

"I thought you'd be pissed off later on." I mumbled softly, wanting to look away but I don't, I keep my eyes set on his.

"Why?"

"Its so obvious this was an excuse for the couples to have sex and make themselves feel better after the loss."

He snorted at that and I shrugged because it was the truth, we all knew it, "And well im not gonna do that."

"Not into tent sex?" He asked casually, although he was definitely teasing me.

"Not particularly no." I joked back dryly.

He smiled gently, leaning a little closer, brushing my nose with his, "I don't want sex, I just want you."

I feel the butterflies fill my stomach again. And it makes my body heat up. "You mean... to spend time with me?"

He just hummed. Not a yes, nor did he say a no.

We stayed like that, close, so damn close, till he pushed my hair back and away from my face, getting a better looked at me, "Is that... all you want?" I ask him softly, barely audible and when I hear him speak my heart stops. "Can I ask if you've ever been kissed before?"

My eyes widened and I looked up from his shirt and to him, "Why would you ask me something like that?" I said with a glare, and of course he smirked because it sounded much too defensive, "So you haven't?"

"Shut up."

He smiled and I glared harder, "Its not funny."

"Im not laughing."

I hummed before I rolled my eyes, "Whatever Karsen."

"You're really pretty though."

I ignored that. "And scary, guys never really liked me in high school, I think I was bitch."

He snorted, rolling his eyes, "Oh yeah, most probably."

I was gonna strangle hi- oh wait, now I see it.

"I can be your first kiss if you want."

I blinked at that. My eyes almost widening.

Woah.

Did he really say that?

"What do you get out of it?"

His head dipped lower, our lips so close, "You."

I swear, their was something on my chest, pressing down, or something lodged in my throat, causing an ache to form there and my breathing picked up, "W-why?"

"I wanted to kiss you since your smart ass got me cold coffee for the first time, its just that now I actually have the chance to do it without you slapping me."

That was so damn long ago.

"What makes you think you have the chance?"

"You haven't said no."

I bit at my cheek, "Friends don't kiss."

"You said we're not friends, remember?" He cupped my jaw, tilting my head back at my chin, "So if we kiss, its just two people kissing."

"I was lying." I breathed looking up to him beneath my lashes, "Me too." He murmured, leaning closer, "Fuck, the things I would do with you... to you." He kisses beside my lip softly, "For you."

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

My breath hitches at that, my words stuck in my throat.

He moves his lips lower, then to the side, brushing lips over my lower lip and I almost shiver at the feeling.

So soft.

When I don't reject his soft patient brushes, he leans closer, and his lips press down to mine in a gentle kiss and the world seemed to stall for a second.

My skin was hot.

And his lips were on mine.

And I was shocked.

So damn shocked that he actually wanted to kiss me, and that he was actually currently kissing me, right now, in this moment, we were kissing. Karsen and I.

We were kissing.

Reality hit me when his lips moved harder down onto mine and I forced myself out of my daze before I kissed him back, my hands jutted out to his jaw, pulling him closer to me and he smirked against my mouth knowing he'd finally got me out of that shell.

All in time. He always said. All in time.

And now was that time.

Somewhere between the kissing that made my mind go haywire he moved over me, my hands sliding up and into his hair out of instinct, and our lips part together, his hands moving up to where mine were before he pinned them down on the floor and kissed me harder.

I felt everything, including the way he slides my hand down on the sleeping bag, his fingers, the two silver rings, cold on my own bare ones, tangling our fingers together, keeping then in place, the way he kisses along my neck, the way he tugs on my ear lobe between his teeth.

It feels euphoric.

Just like in a movie.

It feels fake because its so good but its not fake, its real, and its messing with my head.

In that moment it feels like the books were all right.

Kisses feel like art when its done slowly, melodically, when he kisses like his coaxing me to stay beneath him, telling me that this was where I belonged without saying it.

He keeps kissing my neck till im sure im marked with a red so much more beautiful than the color of a rose, I feel my body move up against his, my body wanting more, brushing against him, wanting something, or maybe something less, like less clothes on to keep him away from me.

I wanted to feel him.

Its not hot, fast and messy, its not boring either, its slow, sexy and fuck its so damn lovely that he's taking his time with me, letting me feel everything, every glide of his tongue, skim of his teeth, every suck and every single kiss. Its like he wanted me to remember what he did to me tonight.

We move back away from one another just for a second to breathe.

That is till his lips find mine again and he kisses me hard, rushed, needy and his kisses taste like stay. Like an ache. Like a want. He's so desperate for something but I don't want to admit that I know who that someone is.

Its not a something, its an ache for a person, and its for me.

We both pant softly between kisses but never stop and finally he gives me the words. "I told you in my bedroom that I wanted you here Adrienne." He says softly between our pecks, he says it like his begging me to realize something. "I want you here, I want you beneath me, you hear me? I just want you."

And just like that I feel like ice that begins to melt only in his touch.

He wanted me before I was happy.

And he still wanted me after last night. After everything.

I could give in a little, I could enjoy our doomed story now and cry at all the memories later.

His words come from a place of want, not of need, he's not forced to some indescribable feeling, instead he actively chooses me and he keeps telling himself that he's gonna keep choosing me.

For now, at least.

"You're such an idiot Krist." I tell him softly, my heart beat erratic, chest heaving, thoughts a mess, he smiled almost lazily back, like he was delirious from this and I was too.

It was real but it felt too damn good to be true.

"And you're so damn pretty." He breathes as he leans closer, noses brushing over, "Its killing me."

"Oh I know it has been." I joke just as he smirks, moving his mouth away from mine and kisses down my jaw, and the kisses are so soft that it feels like butterflies.

"Lets just get these shorts off of you baby." He murmured as he tugged them down my legs and I felt my breath hitch at the endearment.

Baby.

I've never been called that before.

Never.

Surprisingly, I was okay with it. I liked it. A lot more than i'd like to admit.

I helped him to take my pants off as I squirmed out of them, looking back to him and our mouths moulded together again, lips parting just for a single second when his tongue slides past my lips and strokes over mine.

Its a different feeling, but it makes the spot between my legs ache.

It makes me want him more, to want to have his tongue trace every inch of my body the way it makes love to my mouth.

His lips continued tenderly moving against my own. So in sync, our kisses never grow too fast or too slow and, the air is palpable around us.

So freaking palpable.

Im left breathless.

"We should put the flashlight off." I tell him breathily somewhere between us getting our clothes off, he nods as his fingers unwrapped from mine and he tugged me up by my hand till we were both sitting in front of one another.

I took the flashlight from beside us and put it off myself, looking to him in the dark.

I swallow hard, "Is this a bad idea?" I ask, adrenaline still pumping but theres just enough space between us for me to think again.

His hands find my waist and he leans closer, pulling me closer to him too, "No, its not."

It feels like it might be.

His hand slides up from my waist to my jaw, his thumb slowly rubbing over my bottom lip and it automatically parts for him, "Don't you like it when I touch you?" He asks, tipping my chin back till my eyes are locked with his again.

I think I like it a little too much when he touches me, or kisses me, or when he does anything to me.

"I can make you feel this way more often." His head turns to the side a little as he leans down closer to me, "And I can take the ache away, I'll make you come over and over baby, till it no longer feels like a bad idea."

My chest is heaving and I have no words. Im speechless at how inappropriate that was but just how badly some part of me wanted it.

His hands in my hair and our bodies pressed together and all I can think about is that it feels so good, it feels right, even if its different.

Different is not always bad.

"Don't you want me to kiss you again, Adrienne?"

Did I?

I did.

I nod and I know my head isn't involved, just my heart, and my heart wants him.

His hands slide into my hair and mine is in his and we're holding onto something that we know might never happen.

I don't know if i'd ever be able to give myself to him wholly and completely, this was just it, we're gonna kiss and touch tonight and then we're gonna go back home soon and act like we weren't begging for one another's skin the days before.

"Say it, ask me to kiss you again, and I will." He whispers when our mouth is inches apart and I swallow the dryness away. "I'll do anything for you, just ask me to Adrienne, I just- I have to hear you say you want me as much as I want you."

Holy shit.

I pull my lower lip into my mouth before I let it slip out and I speak, Im not depriving myself of him, at least not tonight when he made it clear that he really actually wanted me, "Please... I want you to kiss me Karsen."

And he obliges.

He presses our lips together again and when my eyes close it feels like it rolls to the back of my head.

His hands slide down my body and up my shirt, tugging it up from the hem upwards and he slowly pulls it up and off my body.

My skin is cold as soon as the shirt is off and on the floor but when he presses himself close to me and im warm all over again and I don't care about my nakedness.

He pulls it off my body and im left in my panties and when his eyes drop to my body I tip his head back to avoid him staring at my body for too long.

And I kiss him again, not wanting him to stare long enough to see the marks that would never go away, to see my breasts, to see me.

I think he saw the marks already, because he doesn't say something sweet like, let me see you, but instead he kisses me, silently telling me he sees me, but he still wants to be here.

His hands slide up my stomach and he rubs soothing circles on my ribs, my lips parting at the gentle action, his tongue slips in my mouth and all I taste is him.

And its all I want to taste for a really long time.

He tugs his shirt off and our upper bodies are pressed together, skin to skin, my heart is beating erratic in my chest, and I know his is too, I can feel his chest rise every time, just like mine.

After all the sex and girls he has been with, he still got nervous with me. It was cute, sexy even.

He moves back from the kiss first and swallows like he had no idea where to start with me, looking down he seems to decide and thats how our eyes meet once again.

He moves his hands from my jaw, kissing me softly before he runs his hands down my chest, over my breasts and when his finger circles my nipple, pressing down I almost shy away.

He noticed how quickly my nipples harden for him as he moves closer to me, his other hand pressing into my lower back. "Lay down." He says lowly, his eyes dark, as if he couldn't wait to have me beneath him.

I quickly oblige and lay back down, letting him take control as he moves over me, and leans down.

His kisses down my neck, down my collarbones and my hands are in his hair when his lips part and he circles my nipple with his tongue, sucking almost my whole boob into his mouth, kneading the other, giving both equal amounts of attention.

The unfamiliar action makes me moan softly, it makes the hot wetness pool between my legs, an ache for his tongue down there, and I almost gasp at the carnal thought of him tasting me, licking me this way, a thought that doesn't seem to leave my head as he licks and nibbles.

My hips buck, no idea how to extinguish the pleasurable ache im feeling and I feel him hard against my core, really hard.

I move my hips slowly over his erection to get some sort of friction between us and I hear him mutter a soft exasperated fuck at the feeling.

It drives me to the brink of delirium.

I don't want to stop.

His teeth graze my nipples as he pulls it out his mouth, sucking over my skin and I whimper as he moves to the other, "I think Im in love with your tits Adrienne." He murmurs before he sucks on my nipple again and I bite my lower lip, heat spreading all over at that.

He continues to kisses down between my breasts, his lips kissing each scar but he doesn't tell me he's doing it, I just know where they are, and I know his lips are on them.

Theres two long scars from the accident, just two long marks on my stomach starting at the left side of my ribs and ending on the side of my back.

It doesn't look ugly, its just the mark from the stitches, thats it.

But no one has seen them other than my mother and thats what terrified me most, but he'a still kissing down my hips and its like he didn't even notice it.

He hooks his fingers over my panties and slowly pulls them down, looking up at me for confirmation, wanting to know if I'm ready for that and I nod because I am.

I wanted it.

Badly.

But before he can get them down any further theres a sound from outside.

My eyes widen and I move back, startled I grab at his shirt and put it over my body, he takes my bra and puts it behind him so no one see it but no one tries to come in or anything.

My breathing is heavy and my eyes are wide and im definitely no longer in a state of thoughtlessness over Karsen's tongue and kisses.

I look for my shorts and get it on and over my legs as he opens the tent and moves out first, not even so much as waiting for me, "Karsen!" I hiss in a harsh whisper, soon following him out the tent.

"Shh!" He hisses back when I continue whisper shouting his name and I glared at nothing in particular, staying close behind him, noticing his hair that was disheveled like he was either sleeping minutes ago or fucking someone, my cheeks turned red knowing that if he was going to be fucking anyone, it would've been me, especially since I was wearing his shirt right now.

I looked around us, hearing a sound again, that is till he turned around and turned me around to by my shoulders, pushing me forward and back to the tent and I almost trip.

"What? Hey-"

"Its sex, they're having sex, like real kinky sex." He deadpanned and I choked on my next words, why the hell was everyone so damn horny tonight!?

"They sounded like dying badgers."

He snorted a laugh out at my words and I smiled, his hands still holding onto my waist as we got back into the tent.

I snatched my bra and shirt from the floor, pulling it to my chest as i'd moved to my sleeping bag beside his, curling myself into a ball, "Goodnight." Was all i'd squeaked out before I closed my eyes, huddling close to my own body, facing the opposite way of him and I ignored him completely as I forced myself into a restless sleep.

Telling myself not to dream about Karsen kissing me anymore than we had already kissed tonight.