My thoughts had always been one of the darker places for me, for at least as long as I could remember, a little more than normal and so I always someone who immersed themselves in the arts.

I loved books, and I loved paintings, I secretly loved museums too. There was one museum across town i'd always visit alone, it felt safe, like it was mine even if it wasn't, like the college library, and like my drawing room.

The museum I stood in felt like mine, and something that was yours would always bring you a sense of comfort, which was why I was there yesterday.

I lied to Karsen and told him I was babysitting but I wasn't, I was at the museum at the time he texted me, walking around mindlessly for awhile, clearing my head till I drove back home, checked on my mom, then I drew a little and proceeded to fall asleep.

And now I was using my earphones and drawing on the grass under the shade of a tree, having no work at the library today since it had closed early for some maintenance. A shelf had broken of what was probably old age and the chancellor was scared the others would too, and that would cause a problem for the college, for example they'd have to pay if a person got hurt on campus due to the shelves.

So I didn't have to work today, and so I also completely ignored my last class and decided to come here to laze under this huge tree, that is till I heard someone, a familiar voice and I looked to it behind me.

It was one of the guys Karsen hung out with, Matt, I think.

And he was walking with another guy beside him, that guy holding a guitar and explaining something very passionately as Matt stared at him and answered a few times.

I smiled a little at them and I had no idea why.

They looked so sweet together, admiration clear as day and when Matt looked away and to the front, to me, he smiled a small smile and waved and I blinked, sending a tight lipped smile and wave of my fingers back before I looked back to my art.

It seemed like everyone in his friend group had someone, Summer and Chance, Matt and a shorter ginger head, maybe Karsen did too, maybe.

I continued with my drawing for an hour or so till I got bored and uninspired and laid down on the grass here, the book under my head as I count the leaves of the tree.

Suddenly my phone rang in my pocket and I took it out, looking to see my nonna's name and I answered.

"Yes nonna?"

"No hello ragazza?"

I snort at that, "Hello, how're you?"

"Very bored, would you like to come visit me before Im in my grave?"

I smile at that and almost say sure when I realize I have to go see Karsen today for the stupid project. I almost snarl at the thought but suppress it and roll my eyes instead.

"I can't, I still have my project to do and I don't wanna keep letting my partner down."

"Oh no no then, school always comes first."

"Always." I repeat with a smirk till I look at the time, seeing that it was already five now. "I've got to go, talk when I get home."

"Uh huh." She says, "Be good."

"Will do." I reply before I end the call and get up, bag draped over my shoulders as I walk to the football field that was not too far away from here.

I get there just a few minutes after practice ends, looking for the tallest guy from all till it landed on him and I almost sighed in relief that I wouldn't have to wait.

A girl was walking beside him as he goes towards the locker room and they're talking for awhile as I walk over there.

Just talking.

That is until they stop walking, standing by the locker rooms door, she leans a little closer to him and tugs at his shirt, pressing her lips to his and a second later he kisses her back, his hands snaking up to her jaw, tongue sliding over her bottom lip, and I stop walking in that direction.

I blink.

And I look away.

Feeling a sense of discomfit or just relatively uncomfortable for having witnessed that.

Im about to walk away, to just go wait in the parking lot where it was a little more kissing free right now when someone speaks up from behind me.

"Hey you!"

I look away and to Summer as she holds a bag on her shoulder, a pink ballet outfit on, black skirt and Uggs on and I almost smirk at her brown colored Uggs.

"Hi."

"How are you? I haven't seen you since Monday." She says, nudging my arm with her own as she gets beside me and I shrug.

"Im fine, and you?"

"Good great, are you waiting for Karsen?"

I nod.

"Chance?" I ask and her whole entire being seems to beam at the mention of her boyfriend before she nods.

"He kinda went in there with a girl so I wanted to go, you know." I explain, scratching the back of my head, "Don't want to be a cockblocker or anything."

She chokes before she laughs at that, a hearty laugh, her head falling back but she shakes her head, "Don't worry, the locker rooms are too open, it won't get that far."

I think it probably would but I force a smile her way anyway, swallowing as I rock on my converses till she points to the bleachers, urging me to go with her and I nod, shoving my hands in my back jeans pockets before I follow her.

"So what major are you?" She asks as we sit beside one another and I take my water bottle out from my bag, "Art."

She rolls her eyes, "Sorry I have a Dory brain, I knew that of course."

I snort.

"And you?" I ask.

"Dance." She gestures to her outfit on her body, "But mostly ballet."

It suited her, I'm sure she'd make the perfect future ballerina.

"Is it as daunting as on tv?" I ask and her eyes seem to soften as she nods, "Some people think it isn't."

I scoff, "I can imagine it being hard, they're just assholes."

She smiles at that and I smile a small smile back at her till her boyfriend plops down beside her, kissing her cheek and then he looks over to me.

"Adrienne Faye? Right?"

I send a single nod his way.

"Just Adrienne yeah."

He nods, a small smile gracing his face and I realized they were probably the sweetest group of people i'd ever met.

"Karsen's jus-"

"Oh no, don't." I say, stopping him from giving me a mental image of what was going on in there, "I'll just wait in peace."

He snorts, "We'll wait with you, we don't have anywhere to be."

I nod once and look to the ground, bringing my knees up and plopping my chin down on it as I listen to the two speak about the upcoming football games that would be held soon, and every once awhile they added me into the conversation when they realized I wouldn't chip in myself.

I didn't do anything after college other than work, so I preferred to just listen to them, but they never once made me feel left out throughout the conversation which was sweet on their end.

I was mindlessly staring at the doors, maybe just twenty minutes later when the girl comes out and then Karsen does too.

He pulls a hoodie over his shirt and I look away, back over to Summer.

"Theres your boy."

I shake my head as I bring my legs back down to the bleachers, ready to stand up and go. "Can I get your number?" Summer asks me, more so blurts out and I almost hesitate when I reply. "Oh- oh sure, i'll tell Karsen to send it to you."

She nods with a smile and when Karsen comes up he immediately starts spewing words out, "Shit, shit, shit Im sorry, you've been waiting?"

I look to him, nod once before I stand up, "Thanks for keeping me company, Summer, Chance." I tell both of them and they send me shrugs that say it wasn't a problem. "Anytime."

I walk past Karsen when he talks to Chance, bag straps in hand over my shoulders till he gets to my side, running a hand through his hair.

"Im so fucking sorry Addy."

I shrug, "Okay."

====

We didn't talk the whole way to the store.

I just sat there on the passenger seat, counting the raindrops that slid down the window, drawing on the glass pane when it fogged till the car came to a stop outside a store and I look to him because he doesn't get out, he just parked.

"Are you angry at me?"

All I can do is blink at that. Why would I be angry? Maybe a little pissed off that he made me wait while he had a quickie in the locker room but I wasn't angry.

"I bailed on you yesterday, you made me wait almost half an hour for you, we're even, and I don't care about what you do with your dick, so no, im not pissed, this is just me being me."

I have no idea if he flinches at my tone or my words but I just look away, "Can we go just go get the stuff, please." I press on the matter as I open the door and get out, even in the rain.

I walk normally till I feel something being put over me in seconds, and suddenly a hood is over my head, covering even my eyes.

I blink, walking until I get undercover and look down to see I was in his hoodie, and he had a white long-sleeve underneath and I blink again.

It was... nice.

I take his hoodie off and push it at his chest.

I hated how nice he was.

I hated how handsome he was.

I think I actually started to hate him.

I squeeze my hair of the water and bunch my curls in hand, up and down squeezes before I let it go and walk in the store, getting a cart on the side and continue walking ahead of him.

"Addy."

"Adrienne." I correct him even if I know its pointless at this rate.

"Im sorry." He says, sounding so fucking guilty that it makes me roll my eyes because he is not guilty, he just had sex with some girl in the locker room and its not like he left me alone if thats what he was worried about. I had Summer and Chance to keep my company, even if I didn't really need it.

"I don't really care." I tell him honestly.

"Please don't ignore me."

Hell, this man. "Im not ignoring you."

"Addy." I was gonna turn around and slap him if he continued speaking to me about this.

"Adrienne."

"You sound angry." He says.

I turn around, not to slap him but to speak to him clearly because it seems like I wasn't clear the first one hundred times, "Because you're annoying me Karsen, You're too damn clingy, I barely even know you and you're acting like we're best friends." I hiss up at him.

We're both quiet for a moment and I almost felt remorseful when he simply blinks, wondering if I took it too far, till his lips tilt upward, a dimple revealed and he speaks.

"You said my name again."

Im gonna kill him.

I groan, turning around, pushing the cart forward and continue ignoring his existence.

I couldn't believe this little ray of sunshine in front of me was the same guy who'd probably fucked a girl in a locker room not too long ago and blatantly kissed her outside it too, with his tongue down her throat and all.

He was an enigma, really.

I shook my head, a little flustered at the thought.

I swallowed, "Can you just get the resin?" I ask, pointing up there and he does, passing it down to me and I look to his hands.

"Did you wash your hands?"

He sends me a deadpan stare that tells me he did but my trust issues kick in and I say, hell no, to all the sexy time bodily fluids.

"Never mind, you just put it in the cart." I tell him, turning on my heel as I pull my shirt down my stomach a little more and continue looking for stuff, "Can you take me to get my car?" I ask and he hums from behind me, "I'll take you home and fetch you tomorrow, you can get your car then."

I blink, looking back to him, "I'd prefer not."

"Why?"

"Don't ask me questions Krist." I say, taking more stuff and putting it into the cart, "We're not friends, just reminding you."

"So we're acquaintances?" He presses as he follows me around, the sound of the cart turning every time I turn the only thing I hear as it mixes with his voice.

"We're project partners."

"Is that below acquaintances?"

"I suppose." I tell him and he snorts, "Well we can only go up from here."

"No, no we cannot."

"You've been talking to me more often." He says it like its supposed to be a revelation to me but I know I have been talking more to him, im a stubborn girl, the most stubborn you'd ever meet, but im not an idiot. I knew that I had to talk to him if I was gonna accept this.

And I did accept it.

So I was talking to him but my feelings towards him has stayed the same. I didn't really like him, not even enough to be acquaintances who greeted one another when passing in the hall.

So I was far from being his friend too.

"Can you get that?" I ask, pointing to the bigger clear buckets high up instead of encouraging his stupid version of small talk and he does, he pulls it down and two others drop and I literally screech.

My eyes widen.

I can't believe I fucking screeched.

"Karsen!"

"Sorry there was so many." He defends as he puts four in the cart, with the plastic dividers in between so the paints don't mix and walks around me.

"Nice scream." He teases near my ear, poking me between the ribs and I slap his hand away, glaring bullets at the back of his head.

If looks could kill, I think I would've killed Karsen the day i'd been partnered up with him, or any other day since then because it seemed like I was already always glaring his way.

I keep walking till im beside him until he goes to the sweet isle and I roll my eyes, going to get some soup premixes for my mother and I, that is before my phone rings and I take it out, looking to see my mothers name on the screen.

I answer the call, immediately grabbing a few random soups ones and walking, "What's wrong?"

"Need my meds."

Fuck. No, fuck.

I didn't get any of her tablets.

I look outside and nod when I look to the drug store, "I can get some, i'll be home soon."

She says a quick okay, before I cut the call and find Karsen waiting for me at self checkout with gummy worms and a Monster.

I hate this man.

I look down to my phone, checking if I had made any notes on medication we needed till- "What's wrong?"

I look up at him and he blinks.

He stares at me and I stare at him.

What do I even say to that?

I send him a dirty look before I move around him. "That's just my face, thanks." I reply as I start scanning the stuff at self checkout, "Can you just sort the rest of these out, I need to go to the drug store quickly."

He nods and I take my leave.

The drug store is diagonal from here, so I have too quickly run through the rain, getting to the other side and back below the roof.

I was drenched and cold and in an even more shitty mood as I got to the isle's inside, I get a few stuff like a few hairbands and then make my way to the counter and get the medicines.

The lady was barely talking too, probably having a day as bad as mine so it went fairly quickly, just saying what I needed and she gave it to me without much of a hassle before I paid with what cash I had on me which was barely anything and I knew I needed to pick up more babysitting jobs.

Fuck.

I was exhausted.

I made my way out the drug store, barely able to function as I walked out slowly, dragging myself out the store and this time, I didn't care how soaked in rain water I got, even if it had significantly stopped.

My mood couldn't be anymore dampened. It was already kicked to the ground so easily that sometimes I thought it was better not to even try to be happy.

I was done trying for today.

As I walked to the store Karsen came out and he blinked at me, "You're more rain water than human."

I look at him, I blink, feeling like I wanted to cry but I don't.

I grab two packets from the cart and walk to his car without another word.