It was another day today, and of course I woke up in the worst fucking mood possible.

Unsurprisingly.

And Karsen with a K? He was the literal opposite.

Unsurprisingly.

"Hey you."

Oh fucking hell. He was like a golden retriever but instead of being a cute floppy haired dog who liked belly rubs he was a six foot, possibly taller, handsome man who just smiled a lot.

I look up and away from my sandwich just to see Karsen staring at me as I sit on a bench and eat my food and his smiling like he didn't just interrupt what I had going on, which was nothing, but nothing is still the something, and he'd interrupted my, nothing.

I wanted to stand up, to just get up and walk away, maybe go off to my car and sit there to finish my lunch but I was refraining from doing so, I could manage to be a decent human being for a little while longer.

So instead of leaving I settled for looking away and back to my food after a single nod at him, eating without another word of exchange on my end because I just wanted to be quiet sometimes.

When I was in that mood I didn't want to talk and I didn't want anyone to talk to me, its like both my body and mouth was too lazy to converse with anyone.

No noise, no speaking, just sile-

"How're you?"

This man.

I wanted to say, im horrible Karsen. I wanted to tell him, Im tired. To say, Im hungry. Maybe slip in, Im lonely. Something along then lines of, my head hurts. To say, I want to be alone.

I don't want to be here. I want to sleep. Im so exhausted.

I didn't say any of that out loud though.

I wanted to say im quite literally horrible, but when I finally find my voice and open my mouth the words, Im fine, come tumbling out instead and it leaves a bigger hole in my chest than the one i'd had minutes ago.

I had the opportunity to speak up, but I didn't take it.

Unsurprisingly.

He hums in acknowledgment to my words, sitting beside me, shoving his hands into his jackets pockets and I side eye him, up and down then back up again.

He looked handsome today.

He looked the same everyday though.

Handsome. Everyday.

He was so annoying.

I look away, bringing my legs up on the bench with me and cross them beneath me as I take another bite of my sandwich.

I stare ahead mindlessly, watching as people walked around here, spoke, laughed, threw balls and even shoved their tongues down one another's throats.

I could see everything from this tiny hill above from the old colleges football field, they don't use it anymore since they'd made a much bigger one, and now during lunch it was always taken up by people just to hang out.

"You don't talk much."

I nod at that. Its true, I was never a talker, not even when I was young, but as I grew, it just got lesser and less.

"I talk a lot." He admits, but its not much of any admittance if we both already knew it.

"I've gathered that." I mumble dryly between bites of my sandwich, so soft that it sounds like Im talking more to myself than him as I look down to my water between my legs and I pick it up, opening the cap and take a few huge gulps.

He is silently for now, which is surprising, then the world sets back on its axis when he does speak, "So do you have any friends?"

I blink at that.

I wasn't really expecting that type of question and it wasn't really a question I wanted to answer either, people assumed that just because I didn't have any friends I was a loner, I had my thoughts, they weren't friendly but they were company so maybe I wasn't really a loner.

I look to him, "We're in college, everyones assholes here." Truth was I just never really tried to create a bond with anyone, to reach a level of understanding and then the level of friendship.

"Im not." He says it and he sounds so damn proud that I want to snort.

"Just you then." I reply as I look away, "Plus I just come here to learn then I go home, thats the purpose of college, you know, further education, degree..."

"Thats a sad way of looking at it."

I shrug, not really caring, or maybe I did, theres just no right way to respond to something like that. That's a sad way of looking at it. I'd tell him thats the point, the way we perceive things is different, we're not the same, we won't ever click, he should leave, but I just stay quiet.

He clears his throat as if he senses the sudden tension that arose between us, a heavy blanket of discomfort and I want to roll my eyes that he can't just keep quiet and be comfortable in the silence. "So you don't have a boyfriend? Or girlfriend? Or whichever way you swing?"

I restrain a giggle, and I bite my tongue to keep a snarky response down. Something along the lines of, Is that something you have to know? Swarms in my head, but I don't say it.

Instead I say, "No, I don't like people." I choose the more blunt option, straight to the point, no need for any more of his questions.

"I've gathered that." He replied, his tone almost teasing but I just brush it off as I finally question him, not the other way around, for once. "Where are your friends?" I ask, more so asking him so he could get up and leave at the realization that he had friends and didn't have to sit with me.

He could leave if he wanted to, actually, maybe he should leave now. It was... different, sitting together and not talking about our project, just talking about general life stuff.

He shrugs, "Somewhere around here."

"You should go find them." I tell him, hoping it sounded more of a suggestion than a blatant rude statement but when he sighs much too heavily for my liking I know exactly whats coming out of his mouth next, but I stop him before he says it.

"Don't say it." I hiss down at my food but its directed to him.

Don't say, I want to be your friend, or I want to try to at least get along with you so this doesn't feel forced.

Don't. Fucking. Say. It. Karsen.

He bites his tongue and doesn't say it and a part of me is thankful.

I look at him, my expression neutral and for once, his is too.

We just look at each other.

No words.

We hear his name being called and we both look away from one another and ahead to the sound, the guy and the girl and the other guy walk up over to us and I almost hurl myself off the bench and make a break for it to the parking lot.

I imagine myself doing that, of course, but I don't do it.

"Hi." The girl, the blondie, speaks to me first, a small smile on her face and I force myself to return it, "Im Summer."

"Adrienne." I say simply, and she nods.

I look to Karsen who's looking at me already, I think I give him a weird look because he smiles a little back at me.

Weirdo.

"This is Matt and Chance."

I nod at them, forced smile as I get up with my lunchbox and lunch bag in hand. "It was nice meeting you, I have to get some stuff before class."

I see the way Karsen's face falls a little but I don't think too much about it.

I give him a small wave before I turn on my heel and walk away, feeling a wave of discomfort as I leave but I keep going, and I keep ignoring it.