I've decided against going to my sculpting class for the rest of the week, not even bothering with anything that i'd missed either. I'd just continued with my life like that was how it always was, sculpt-less basically.

Doing all my other projects and assignments, studying for upcoming tests and of course finding time to eat between that even if it could get hectic sometimes since my lack of creativity was a pain in the ass lately.

I'd also actively avoided Karsen Krist, whenever I saw him in the hall or library or just somewhere around campus in general, i'd not done anything dramatic, just decided to turn around and walk the other way, or take another route to wherever I was going and it was fairly easy since this campus had a hell of a lot of ways to get to one place.

It wasn't childish, it was just keeping me at my calm, no disturbances, no change, nothing new to disturb the ongoing cycle I had going on.

Yet for some reason, when nothing new happened and the day stayed the same, I felt like nothing, and when I felt like nothing I didn't want to do anything, didn't want talk to anyone, didn't want to read, didn't feel like sleeping or watching tv or even so much as eating, it felt like I was burdened by being alive and being forced to move forward and continue living when all I wanted to do was stop, just for a second, a moment. To take a breather.

I think I self sabotaged myself often.

And I think I was becoming a little uncomfortable with it too.

I was walking down the corridor at the end of the week on Friday morning to get to the bathroom after a long time spent on drinking tea and reading a poetry books up in the library that were so dramatic that I think I wanted to die.

See what I did there? Infectious I tell you.

I was walking fast, my hands in my pockets, my eyes set on the bathroom but when a certain dark haired guy walked out the guys bathroom with two other guys on his sides.

I almost whipped myself back around to drive back home before my three o'clock babysitting appointment, but it would be much more realistic if I just decided to urinate in my jeans right here instead because my bladder was at its weakest point, literally at the edge of bursting.

I grimaced at the thought of my wet jeans, yeah, no. I had to go inside here before I pissed myself.

Another group of other people i've never quite seen before walked beside me and I moved closer to their sides, not too close that they looked at me suspiciously or anything; just close enough to not be seen by Karsen and his friends.

I did not want to be seen by him now, not even if he wasn't gonna be able to talk to me since I had to go pee because who knows? What if he waited to talk to me?

Thankfully I blended in with them, just before I separated back out the group and made way into the the bathroom, pushing the door open with a heavy sigh in relief.

I walked in to the first open stall I saw and did my business before I walked out and washed my hands in one of the sinks.

It was relatively empty in here, just a dirty blonde drying her hands so I took my time washing my own, waiting for her to move away from it so I could dry my hands after.

When she was done drying her hands and went to the mirror, I walked over and did my own hands too before I walked out the bathroom, getting my car keys out my bag so I wouldn't have to look through my bag in the parking lot for it, having it in my hands and turning back around just t- wall.

I hit a damn wall.

I looked up and-

I did not hit a damn wall.

I blinked at the person in front of me, well I blinked at the persons back till they turned around and it was none other than the man I was avoiding in the flesh.

Fuck.

Fuckiddy, fuck fuck.

"You're here?"

Of course I was here Karsen, am I not in front of you? Standing? Do you want to poke me and check if I am real? Or a phantom? Maybe you're insane.

Are you insane?

I looked to the people besides him, the two guys almost as tall and handsome as Karsen was and they were both looking at right at me with a look of confusion but thankfully not any hostility or else this would've been weirder than it already began to be.

That is till the tall dirty blonde with the cute purple tank top came out the bathroom and walked over to the guy with the buzzcut, a smile on his lips when she came out and I muttered a soft, fuck, below my breath.

I should've freaking paid more attention when I was walking out here. I should've also maybe waited for her to leave the bathroom first, then I would've came out when they were long gone.

"Can we talk?"

I looked away from blondie and the brown haired buzzcut boy who'd started a conversation with the other blonde haired guy at the sound of Karsen's voice.

"I have stuff to do right now." I tell him, and I looked down to my wrist, no watch, but I did it anyway which was actually pretty stupid, but oh well.

"Sorry." I shrugged him off as I made way around him and practically sped walk through the hallway again.

Inwardly I was cringing at our interactions with one another since all so far were kinda awkward, or well very underwhelming, not disappointing though because I didn't expect it to be a rollercoaster or anything.

I ignored my thoughts as I got to the parking lot and to my car, keys in hand as I got in the car, pulling out the parking and making my way to Gracie's house.

===

Sitting and watching the Aladdin live action movie with a child that absolutely adored princess's was definitely not my Friday plans.

Except that I usually never had Friday plans, which was why when Gracie's parents needed a babysitter for today I jumped to it, and I didn't mind even if it was late notice.

"You kinda look like jasmin." She says, pointing to the screen and I raise a brow at the girl, but in any case taking the compliment even if I didn't quite see it. Hey, Naomi Scott was gorgeous.

"Sure Gracie." I say, shaking my head as I look back to the flat screen and she sighs, laying back on the couch, crossing her tiny arms over her chest and I know she's staring at me but I hope she'll eventually stop if I don't pay her any attention.

Unfortunately, i'm sure more than ten minutes had passed by and she was still watching me like a damned hawk, except her eyes weren't as beady of course.

I sigh softly, giving in and looking to her, "Do you have a question?"

"Yes!"

Of course.

I nod slowly, watching as she grabs the remote from my lap to put the movie on pause before she turns her attention back to me. "Have you ever moved houses before?" She asks me randomly and my brows pull together at the randomness of the question.

Truth was, i've lived in the same place since I was born.

"No, I haven't." I say, eyeing her expression, the way she looks around on the couch, shifting in place like she's growing agitated or something.

"Did your parent's say you'll be moving?" I ask her softly, hoping it wasn't crossing my boundaries but she clearly looked a little distressed by the subject of, moving houses.

She looks back up to me, biting her lower lip to stop it from trembling and she nods which makes realization dawn on me. "Just houses?"

"No." She says shakily, "Mommy said we're moving... countries, for daddy's work." She mumbles softly before she takes a huge gulp, probably swallowing a growing lump in her throat and my eyes soften.

"Why're you sad? That sounds like fun." I say, but truth is I know there's a lot of things to be sad about when moving, especially moving countries, but I didn't want to name all of them and add things to be sad about onto her list.

I'd rather just hear her out, and not give her any more things to worry about.

"It is..." She trails off before he puts her hands down to her lap, "But my friends are here."

Friends weren't exactly my kind of topic. But I try to understand it. If I had friends and had to leave them i'm sure i'd be a little disappointed too.

But the harsh truth is people are everywhere, you can always make new friends.

"You always can make new friends."

She shakes her head, "I like my friends, I don't want to leave them Eva."

I struggle with a reply for that, specifically because i've never cared about anyone that was not my blood relatives to the point that if I had to leave them i'd be broken, lost or even as little as sad.

I stare at her for a moment, trying to gather words, but when I come up with nothing I almost feel horrible, not just for the girl in front of me.

But for myself.

The sound of the door unlocking takes me out of my sudden thoughts and I breathe a sigh in relief, knowing I would get an out on this one.

But unfortunately, as much as I could run from Gracie's spoken thoughts, I couldn't quite run from my own.