My mother was asleep when I got up for my class in the morning. She was in her bed that was much too big for a one woman, especially at her petite size, and I stared at the spot beside her, the spot that someone else should've been in, filling.

We can't help it as much as we try not to. Humans long for humans.

Sometimes.

My mother was a 44 year old single woman for almost eight years now, and all she did was sleep in the mornings, eat throughout the day, and sometimes at nights, watch some tv and get up to shower, change her colostomy bags and go back to sleep in bed.

My mother had a stoma for as long as I knew. She had sustained an injury to her colon long ago, and was obligated to get a colostomy, everything she needed was half paid for and other half I paid for, she was fine, everything was fine and she was healthy, but mentally, she was not as healed.

My mother was living off of her sleep meds, an undiagnosed insomniac and that was it, that was her. Sometimes I think I simplified humans to what I saw immediately, looking at them, creating a story.

I never looked for the small details in people, well I did sometimes of course, but the big picture was always enough for me, if I didn't like the big picture why would I look deeper into it? I just left it as it was.

I move back and away from the door after setting our favorite orange juice beside her on the night table.

I take my hair into my hands and tie it up into a low ponytail, a skirt and shirt on my body because it was back to warmer weather and I was grateful for it.

I didn't really feel like wearing any heavy warm clothes over my body just yet.

I walked downstairs a few moments after I stood there, closing my eyes, letting the weight of life sink into my shoulders, down my body, sliding over and enveloping me for a second.

I open my eyes and I sigh softly as I make my way downstairs.

I grab a red apple to take with me on my way out before I throw my bag that was laying limply on the couch, now over my slumped shoulders as I unlock the front door.

Inwardly I hoped that I would just get through my day today quickly, and then leave to come back.

The usual.

===

My day was not going good.

How surprising.

I was late to class because of traffic in the morning, I was given a shit load of assignments during the day and to make matters worse, I haven't had an ounce of creativity in my bones since I got back to college and now I was eating a shitty turkey sandwich with bread that im pretty sure was a weeks too old, but it'd have to do.

I was one class away from going back home, to my books, to the library, just one class away, I thought, and repeated those words in my head as I threw away the ghastly sandwich and wiped my hands against one another, dusting the bread crumbs off my fingers.

Just. One. Class.

I had sculpture now, sculpture also happened to be my favorite class of the day since it wasn't too much work in class, more was done out in small assignments, and so inwardly, I hoped it'd be a good one today.

I was just about to open the classes door when someone else opened it from inside, practically stomping away when they got outside, seething as they left the class mumbling so many profanities that im sure would even leave the vulgarest of people in shock, maybe possibly put some elderly people in cardiac arrest too.

A person snorted from beside me, knocking me back to reality and I hadn't realized i'd been staring at the guy who was still stomping like a pre schooler, basking in his anger. I looked away from said person and walked into the class, just about walk down the steps when my professor was suddenly in front of me, grinning widely.

Oh no. What's happening?

She was a smiley woman but judging from everyones grouped hushed words around the place I could tell something was going on in here, which was not exactly the best of signs because I didn't want anything to be going on right now.

"Ms Dickens." I spoke in my usual dry tone in acknowledgment to the woman with her thick rimmed glasses standing in front of me. But I got no reply, just a hand thrusted to my chest, a paper pushed to me and I looked down, taking the paper before she turned me around in one quick swift motion by my shoulders.

"You two are partners, go sit i'll explain the rest when everyones here."

My eyes widened at the word partners and I looked up within seconds just to see my so called partner- Karsen fucking Kirst.

I blinked.

There was nothing actually wrong with Karsen Krist, but I just didn't want any partner, no one, like at all.

And within these past four years I'd requested it with my professors and it was always granted due to my circumstances, that circumstances they knew of was my mother being unable to work.

It wasn't that she was unable to work, she just chose not to and it was understood by many since her colostomy was considered a disability, but she it wasn't that she was unable to get a job because of it, that was not it at all, she really didn't want to leave the house to do anything at all, and that included, work.

I looked back to the professor but she was already gone to the next poor soul behind us who was going to be paired with a random person they've probably only seen once and not ever interacted with.

I huff softly.

I didn't want to speak to Karsen so I turned back around and walked to my seat, paper in hand and I'm not entirely sure if he was following me or not, hopefully he was because I wasn't gonna be checking in on him.

I got to my seat and thankfully, wordlessly, he sat beside me, as we unpacked our stuff for class she continued to give people their assignments papers, and a few seconds later she was back up in the front of the room and was speaking and I was happy for that, well, barely.

"Before you all come for my head this was not my plan."

The groans and annoyed hums started sounding around the class filled with people. I wanted to hum along maybe even groan too with everyone else but I kept quiet to hear what she had to say so I could come up with something to get out of this partnership.

Whenever we previously had partner projects, it was not with already assigned people, everyone chose who they wanted to work with and it worked well, the only reason as to why I was pissed about this was because I was always skipped by my professors intentionally because i'd tell them I didn't want to be partners with anyone at all, they knew my story since i'd told all of them about my circumstances.

"Shh!"

Everyone hushed at the sound and she sighed a deep sigh, scratching her brow with her index finger like she always does when she was delaying her words, which meant we really wouldn't like what she'd have to say.

"Mr Templeman set this out, a sculpting project on any single emotion with someone you've never worked with is more intimate than with someone you do know is what he'd said."

I mean, I guess he wasn't exactly wrong but what the fuck man.

"This is compulsory." She started, looking around from one side of the class to the other, "No exceptions." I saw her eyes land on a few people, that of including me and I sank back in my seat, feeling the same cusses rise to my throat as the guy who'd stomped out of here like a kindergartener.

"So let me tell you how this will go, as some of you might not know yet, you all will have smaller tests in class for the semesters, but this project will cost most of your grade, seventy percent to be exact, so big project yes, and what makes it even better, is that its only due in February!"

My jaw dropped at that just when the gasps, groans and soft whispered cusses started around the class all over again.

Six fucking months?

Yeah, no.