He frightened me, more than he knew, this changing and altering behavior. I studied him his movement of when he pulled me close to him or when he grabbed my arm and yanked me into that room.

The car was going at a steady pace in the middle of the city, we were heading back to the penthouse and I just wanted him to hug me, to grab me and let me melt in his grasp. He had me in his palm, he was demanding and arrogant but for some reason it just made me want him more.

"Can we talk about this?", words flew out of my mouth as I looked at him sincerely hoping for some sort of reaction. I wasn't used to this side of his compassionate voice. He looked deeply back at me as he was searching for the words to say in a vast sky.

"What's there to talk about?" he startled me with his arrogance. so sweet one second but bitter the next.

"Everything", the fold of the car slowly went up as the driver thankfully couldn't hear us. I looked back at him for him to see my heated head.

"Fine let's talk then", a sigh comes out of his mouth. The car suddenly stopped as Nolan opened the door to reveal we were home. I follow him in as I can feel the tension of how much steam we have. It's intense. Fiercely empowering me.

"I don't want to be an embarrassment to you", I looked him straight in the eye as I felt the sting of my words piercing into my tongue, leaving me breathless.

"I didn't mean that, this world just isn't meant to be played around that's all, you have a role,and you should be doing your job,I need you to be serious", he explained as I saw his side, but still wondered about my own side of working my way up so that I could understand all aspects.

"Why did you kiss me", I abruptly brought up as he ran his fingers through his hair as I could tell he had no idea why.

"I can't answer that", I could sense this conversation was long gone. I wanted him to have a reason of why, I wanted him to tell me that I drove him crazy and he liked me, I wanted him to tell me that I made his day.

I sulked back to my room as I took off my sweats and set them on my laundry rack. My scars were very much visible, red, dark and gashed up and down my abdomen.

My finger traced each one feeling the tendency of each individual stroke. I felt each shriek of pain over and over again each time stronger. My eyes got drowsy as I fell back on my bed staring up at the fan going round and round.And just like that my mind left me and I dozed off dreaming of a world where I felt free.

I knew the answer that haunted her mind. Why I kissed her? That was a question I had hoped she would never ask me. Could I tell her I had feelings for her even though her and I could never be?

I found myself outside of her room as I listened in to her light snores and I slowly opened the door and went in making sure to not wake her. I sat on her bed, and her frail body dipped to the additional weight. I saw her fragile hands move against her frame as she readjusted her body. I decided the thing that would destroy me, to push her away.

I was messed up, I couldn't deal with commitment or feelings, I wasn't good with talking and I didn't want to break her heart. This banter we had was something that drove my mind crazy about her one moment she's laughing and the next she's confident and brave. I knew I liked her, it was hard not too, and trust me I tried.

My thoughts wandered as I stroked her shoulder trying to wake her up, but only leaving her feeling comforted. I quickly pulled away as I realized why waste time on something that never mattered. I shut the door loudly not looking back, but I felt staggering, but sleepy eyes on me as I looked back up to see Natalie with a sleepy but anger filled grin.

I started heading for the stairs as a soft and tender voice interrupted my journey, "Ah, Mr. Clemente I hope your treating your wife right", as she grabbed a laundry basket, she left me standing their physically scared. How did she know? I'd end up breaking the poor girl before even starting why give it a try, if you know it'll end sourly.

"Ms. Cockroach left a message from your father and also her new number I didn't put it just as a courtesy to you", she spoke as I laughed at her broad ways. She would scold me, yell at me and I would simply allow her. She was a judge in my life and judged every thing I did especially who I hire, which she does not like Ms. Roach at all, hence Ms. Cockroach.

I heard the door open as I headed back down the stairs and behind the library straight to my office. There was a post it on my desk saying 'new meeting- family lunch at Clemente estate, bring Natalie'. Today of all days, she's pissed at me and now we have to act like we're happily in love, If I wanted to work and not have my position taken from me I better keep her in order and act as if we are madly in love and make them believe it.

I finished up a bit of work as I heard commotion from the kitchen a couple of pans clattering, I rushed to the kitchen to find Natalie stranded on the ground and pans surrounding her. She stared madly blushing and I began to forget why I needed to stay away from her in the first place.