"Your such a badass, my brother doesn't deserve you", Avery ranted on and on as I zoned her out looking out at the clouds wanting an explanation, of why he was like this. I didn't feel like a badass, I felt like I want to know more about this new surfaced behavior from him.

"I love this song", she said as she started singing and I sang with her to the lyrics. My goal was to forget about everything that happened tonight and just lose my head. After thirty minutes of restless singing and dancing, we arrived at the glowing bar.

"You ready", she said as we hopped the line as she showed her I.D and pulled me along with her. The line outside of the bar was filled with people and paparazzi, snapping pictures on cameras or telephones.

The atmosphere was so lively, I smudged my lipstick as Avery pulled me along passing drinks and drinks lining the bar. She pulled me down to a couple of empty barstools as a bartender came close to us waiting for our drink order.

"Two shots of tequila", she yelled as he started pouring us our tequila into two small shot glasses. I was ready to forget.

He slides us the shots while making googling eyes at Avery as she winked at him we clinked our glasses and swallowed. The tequila burned my throat, and I felt alive and ready for the next one. The first step of forgetting.

Avery slammed her glass on the bar as she took her lime and bit into it, she encouraged me to do the same. I grabbed the ripe lime, next to my empty shot glass and bit into it with its sourness and all.

"Another round over here", I yelled at the bartender as he rushed over and started pouring us our drinks. While he was pouring our tequila shots, he smirked at Avery as he shifted the bottle and ended up spilling a bit on the ground. Nervous, college students, as bartenders sounds like a promise to get laid. He cleaned up his little spill as Avery giggled to the side as she gave me a look like 'god he's cute', college kids may be her type, well I know she was theirs.

He slid us our drinks as Avery gave him a very enthusiastic welcome for our drinks. Who knew what that was for. Oh hell, half the bar knew.

I gave her another, demanded by me. I knew drinking wasn't the answer to all my problems as much as I wish it was. Instead the sting of the tequila and vodka stung my throat making me forget and focus on this sloppy moment.

"Keep em 'coming, cutie", Avery yelled as the bartender nodded in agreement and the same cycle took place shot after shot feeling a little woozier and feeling a little less sad.

A drunk, slurring Avery came back as she babbled on and on about how drunk she was and how she would never leave. Drunk Avery was fun. Until she started to pull my hand near the dance floor.

"Come on please", she pleaded as I pulled back not wanting to get ground on. Sweaty and grimy wasn't my thing.

"Avery, no", I shouted feeling so light I could barely walk. I was married, no married people on the dance floor. Or maybe they were cause there significant other was here and not in their office working while giving no shits.

"I want some air", I slurred as she let go of my hand and I made my way outside to an alleyway.

I went into the little corner and out the front door as I breathed in the cold Seattle breeze. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through contact after contact. I went to delete Nolan's name as I would just let my parents murder me in cold blood than live with him. I did something I had no courage to do, but the alcohol helped.

I called Nolan after a couple of rings he finally picked up and his first word was "Natalie", he sounded so exasperated and so exhausted, that I felt sorry for him for a couple of seconds. I actually did. He actually sounded surprised to say my name, like it was fresh off his lips.

"Yep, it's me", I hummed against the cold weather as I heard whistling from afar. His voice was stone cold.

"I just wanted to say thank you for being a complete asshole", I yelled into the phone, as my voice echoed through the cold air.

"Where are you", he said as my head pounded harder and harder. The whistling came closer as I still felt the pounding of the music from inside.

"You didn't ever need me and so I'm done, you're a bastard, I whispered into the phone as I heard a laugh from the other line.

"Natalie have you been drinking?", he asked as I giggled and just played with my hair.

"Yeah, I have, Mr. Snobby Pants. Your so arrogant and self- centered and conceited and-", I ranted about someone I didn't even know that much.

"Listen to me, come home right this instant", he demanded. His breathing grew louder as he kept breathing. I could tell it ticked him off majorly, did I care, no.

"You sound just like my dad before he stopped caring", I let that one out on accident but I meant it.

"Your so bossy, "Natalie your so beautiful", "Natalie we are married", "Natalie I know what you're doing", "Natalie your my wife", "Natalie stay away from me I'm not the man for you", I blabbered one of all the things I wanted to tell him but never had the courage too.

"That's it tell me where you are", he insisted as he pounded his hand against the wall. I knew he was getting angry, but it just made me want to irritate him more.

"How does it feel to not get your way", I retorted as I heard a sigh come from him.

"Where the fuck are you?", he asserted his voice as I sang to the music from inside. It made me happy he was mad, maybe he would finally understand the pain I had felt.

"I'm staying the night with Avery, at least she cares about me", I whispered into the phone as a couple came out the door and he slammed her against the wall as they fiercely attacked each others lips.

"I want romance, I want adventure, I want something you will never ever be able to give me and so here we are stuck and lost and you have the nerve to call me", I spoke sternly as the couple wandered to their car probably, but they looked alive and free.

"You called me remember", he said as he let out a hefty laugh.

"I did and I've realized something that I won't be happy with you, I can't be happy with you, you push and you're not nice to anyone, you're a selfish man and I hate you", I spat out the words that flowed through my mind.

"Are you done?", he interrupted my rant as he seemed annoyed and I sure as hell was.

"No, I have one question will you ever be happy with me, or are we doomed for life? ", I asked him something that had been wandering my mind.

"Please just come home and we can work it out I swear", he said against the phone and I wasn't pleased with his answer.

"You didn't answer my question", I repeated it as he let out a groan of frustration.

"We're married that's it don't you understand, if you're not happy there's nothing I can do you signed up for this and so did I. Come home and we can work this out", he suggested as the words were just married, struck me I was wanting something that I couldn't have.

"No, I'm not", I said and hung the phone up, he was conceited and all he based himself off of was his big ego. And I was far from done with it. That was probably the most we ever talked to each other and actually said what we felt. I should get drunk more often.

I went back inside the pounding bar as Avery was getting cozy with the bartender who was off duty as they danced on the floor. I took my seat back and ordered another shot of vodka, down it went.

All I remember is ordering multiple drinks until I became a crying fest, Avery dragged me out of the bar as I screamed "I'm never going to be happy" and "Fuck you Nolan" this wasn't the right time to be drinking.