《Is It Hate OR Love? Jodha Akbar》Chapter 11
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Knowing that Jalal will be spending the night with her, suddenly, Jodha began to feel everything beautiful around; her ears were hearing melodic music. Clouds began to dazzled at her slowly and ready to pour on her. The feeling of rain and the aroma of the surrounding was making her fanatical. Soon winds began to blow high with the feel of romance in the air millions of butterflies started to flutter in her stomach. Her face was glowing with pleasure. When she passed through the harem hall, many of his queens, who saw her, got amused, seeing her smiling for no reason and completely lost in her world. It was shocking for everyone to see her smiling; she always walked calmly and looked depressed. One of the queens said to the group, "She is happy, just because her parents are coming to take her back to Amer for some Hindu ritual, probably that is why she is gone crazy.
Jodha excitedly reached her chamber. As soon as she entered her chamber, she yelled loudly, "Moti and Reva" before they come within a few seconds, she shouted again impatiently, "Moti,"
Moti and Reva both came running to her worriedly; typically, she doesn't shout unless it's some urgency. Seeing her excited and happy face, both felt took sighed out with relief.
She impatiently told them to decorate her room with beautiful flowers, fragrances, and lots of scented candles.
Moti and Reva looked at each other with a mischievous smile and asked, "Princess Jodha. Is something special today? Why are you so glowing, and why suddenly you want all romantic decorations in your chamber??? Is something special going to happen tonight? We can also decorate your bed with flowers if you want" then both of them started to giggle.
Jodha realized that she was overreacting with Jalal coming to her chamber. She responded loudly, masking her feelings, "Reva, do as I said; he is a Shahenshah, the king of the kings, so I am respecting him by welcoming properly. Nothing is going to happen tonight; I am just fulfilling his condition."
"Oh, Jodha, Can you tell us why you are glowing so bright like the moon and excited like a little kid? Moti asked mockingly in a jesting whisper.
Moti and Reva both silently smirked. She had no explanation for her enthusiasm to mask her feelings; she tetchy said, "Shenshah will come here any second, and you both are wasting your time in teasing and laughing." She paused to look at them and got angrier seeing the humor in their eyes, then she pouted and said, "Just do as I say."
Jodha's POV
An hour later, Jodha looked at herself in the mirror and blushed heavily; she wanted to look her best today. She left her long, shiny and soft hairs open and did all the (Srinagar) makeup; she changed her necklace and earrings to match her dress. While putting on her bangles, She felt embarrassed as she remembered what happened the last time they slept on the same bed. She said to herself timidly, 'oh god, the temptation to be with him is irresistible, but what if he tries to kiss me? He always mesmerizes me with his eyes, and I forget everything. As soon as I see him, my heart jumps and beats so fast that I could hear my heartbeats. I need to control myself; otherwise, it will not take him long to know my heart's condition. She scolded herself for her thoughts. Why do I think about him? Oh, Kanah. What is happening to me? She took a deep breath in and long sighed out, looked at her gorgeous beauty in the mirror, and again got lost in the thoughts.
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A few minutes later, Jalal took off his shoes and came inside her chamber without announcement. A dazzling grin crawled on his lips, seeing her chamber decorated with beautiful flowers and lots of glowing candles. A heavy breeze was knocking on the door; the smell of the first rain made the surroundings even more pleasant. Moon was hiding behind dark clouds, which were causing the night to darker. Candle lights were dancing in heavy winds.
His captivating eyes caught Jodha; she was lost in some other world. He indicated to Moti and Reva to leave quietly. Jodha blushed heavily, looking at the mirror; her long hairs were blowing in the wind. Her beautiful hazel, doe-like eyes with long lashes and a deep eyeliner line were glowing in the dim candlelight. Jalal was delighted to see her happy face. She was deeply lost and didn't realize that Jalal was standing there and staring at her without a blink and was admiring her beauty.
In her thoughts, Jodha recalled their first meeting, their wedding, and many more beautiful moments. Her expressions were changing from a grin to blush and blush to smile. Still, then suddenly her smile vanished and turned into severe pain as she recalled how Jalal had said that 'you are my possession, a winning trophy, a decorative piece for my palace, you are not an important person in my life. I married you to take revenge from you and your Amer..'
The realization hit her with a blow; she went too far dreaming. Jalal's words echoed again and again on her conscious. She concluded, she means nothing in his life; he doesn't even want her to give her respect as his official married queen. He doesn't even invite her to Diwan E Khaas or any special occasion. He hates her, and just to take revenge, he married her.
Her heartfelt a pinch inside with her conclusion, soon it followed with intense ache and turned into tears. In a few moments, her doe-like beautiful eyes gleamed with a pool of tears and began to dazzle.
She said to herself, 'He doesn't have the heart to understand my love for him; love is too far to expect, but he doesn't even care about me; he cannot love me ever. I am nothing in his life. I am just one out of thousands of women he has in his Harem.
She came back to reality; her heart throbbed once again for her destiny. It was an intolerable feeling for her to believe that Jalal hates her. His bitter words were ringing in her ears again and again.
Jalal was so stunned to see her weeping intensely. His smile disappeared in a second, he was puzzled and didn't understand what happened to her suddenly, she was smiling happily just a few seconds ago.
He cautiously walked towards her and kept his hand over her shoulder. She realized that it was Jalal, rapidly she turned back and saw him. It happened too fast; she couldn't mask her unwanted tears. She swiftly got up from the chair.
Jalal cupped her face and softly wiped her tears with genuine care and love. "Jodha, why your happiness got suddenly turned into sorrow??" He asked delicately
She gaped at him pointedly; while looking straight in his eyes, she replied bitterly, "Shahenshah, I just came out of my dream to reality." then she swiftly moved away from him.
She could not understand her attitude, why those words are bothering her now, and why she felt the sting now; when he said all this to her, she didn't feel this pain.
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Suddenly, she realized that she had forcefully invited him to spend the night with her, and now seeing her crying might upset him. She wiped her tears, then masking her feeling, she fakely smiled at him, and to divert his mind, she said in a low tone, "Shahenshah, I am so happy; you have spared your precious time for me."
He pulled her by her wrist and asked her angrily with a thick sound, "Jodha, tell me what happened suddenly??? Which dream of yours has been broken?"
She looked at him impassively and decided not to reply.
"Jodha, don't play around with your words, don't act too smart; I need to know what is in your mind? What is bothering you? If you are going hide things from me, how will I fulfill my duty? All my queens are important to me, and I can't see you in pain. Tell me which dream of yours was broken?" He shouted at her authoritively once again to answer him while simultaneously making his grip stronger on her wrist.
She looked straight into his eyes with hatred and retorted loudly, "Shahenshah, Please leave me; why are you so concerned about how I feel? I am just a winning trophy of yours and one more addition to your decorative pieces in your palace. I have no right to feel anything. I am not important in your life; my existence shouldn't matter to you. I am just one of your possessions." Her words were filled with extreme resentment.
Jalal could feel the heat and the extreme fire inside her; she was burning in a blaze with the harsh words he said to her. This was probably the first time he saw her intense bitterness; he released her hand in shock.
She ran towards the window; the storm was passing through, winds were blowing high, all the curtains were flying in the air, and doors were knocking noisily on her heart. There was a massive storm inside of her and another outside in the sky. She suddenly felt hollow, like nothing was left in her life; she was all alone again.
Jalal walked near the window and quietly stood next to her; his heart wept, seeing her in tears. He didn't know how to comfort her. He was shocked even to touch her; he wasn't sure how she would react to it.
Her tears were flooding out without any sob silently; her hands were placed on the window.
After about a minute of silence, he gently kept his hand on her palm and looked at her with assurance in his eyes. You are not alone; I am yours. He wanted to apologize for what he had done and said in the past, but his words got choked in his throat; her pain slaughtered him. He desired to take her in his arms and hold her tight to give her warmth; he ached to take away all of her pain and tears. Each tear that fell from her eyes felt like slowly acid dripping on his heart.
He broke the silence and vulnerably asked, "Jodha, can't you forget the past? I can't see you in this state." He looked at her with lots of guilt for what he had done. It was too difficult for him to gulp tears threatening to come out. Finally, his eyes slightly gleamed with her pain. His vision got blurred; both looked at each other. Jodha understood he is guilty of the words he said to her. His wet eyes gave a shock to her. She never thought he could be this emotional.
Inside and outside, the storm had passed through, and now clouds were shedding tears. A cool breeze came with the rain through the window. It was dark outside, and only a few candles were burning; thunder crackled with lightning and flashing soon after, Jodha got panicked with a sudden flashy roar of thunder and striking lightning.
With the likely reaction, Jodha huggedJalal in fear. Jalal instantly captured her in his arms tightly, and with this embrace, both felt absolutely content. Jalal squeezed her securely; he didn't want to let her go anywhere. Both got lost in each other's warmth. Jodha gradually clutched him tightly and surrendered herself in his broad, muscular cuddle.
Their painful tears changed into content tears. The mischievous clouds laughed at these lovebirds with the roar of thunders again and again, and while gripping them in deep passion, this sensation was beyond imagination. They were in each other's arms for long; at that moment, they both knew they were in love with each other; there was no need for any words. Their souls met once again in this life forever.
After a long cuddle, Jodha felt shy, realizing that she was hugging him so possessively, she pushed herself away in embarrassment. Only one candle burning in the room. In the dim light, she looked sensually appealing, beyond any poet's imagination. Her rosy cheeks and cute little nose turned red due to crying, and all of her artificial makeup washed away in tears. Her delicate face was glowing in the dim light of a candle. Her eyes were still gleaming with fresh tears; she stood by the corner of the window breathlessly. Her long hairs were flying with the winds. Jalal was not able to take his eyes off her.
He pulled her hand gently towards him. His eyes were filled with deep dark obsession. he whispered sensually in her ear while tucking her hair behind her ears, "Jodha, I know you wanted to chat the whole night, but I don't know how I will manage to hold myself. You are my sweet torture. I can't resist myself being with you, and not touching you is not less than any punishment."
She looked down while gasping heavily, repeating his words in mind 'sweet torture.' She smirked silently.
He gazed at her without a blink, then softly ambled his finger from her cheeks to her lower lips and said in a mumbling tone, "How will I survive tonight." He went slowly near her lips, but before he could kiss her, she moved away from him and replied playfully, "Shahenshah, to chat, we need to talk only. "
Jalal glanced at her with a mischievous grin. He closed his eyes with a deep sigh to control his desire. Jodha began to light up all the other candles. Soon, the room started to glow full of light and flowers. Her face again started to sparkle brightly.
"Shahenshah, Do you want to play something?" She asked him innocently.
"Yes, but what I want to play, you might not like it, "Jalal replied playfully while smirking.
"No, No... I won't." She instantly responded nervously
"So, you don't want to play Chess?" He questioned teasingly
"Oh! Yes, I want to play chess."
"So what game you didn't want to play, queen Jodha? You just said you wouldn't." Jalal impishly asked her
Jodha was trapped; she had no answer. She looked at him shyly and blushed!
His lips curved with a romantic smirk, "My dear Queen, For your information, I always play a game to win something. Without a challenge, it's no fun!"
"My dear King, Don't forget that I am a Rajvanshi princess, and I am not afraid of any challenge." she proudly replied while fixing her dress.
"You are not a Rajvanshi princess anymore; now you are an honor of a Mughal kingdom, A Mughal Queen Jodha."Jalal instantly corrected her.
Jodha squinted eyes and, in a moody tone, replied, "I agree with the Mughal queen, but I am still a Rajvanshi. You can call me Rajvanshi Queen."
"You are too stubborn and fearless, my Queen from Rajvansh." He smirked mysteriously and continued, "So, my dear queen, are you ready for any challenge?"
With little resentment, Jodha replied, "YES! I accept your challenge Shahenshah!!! What is the challenge?"
He oddly gazed at her, and after a long pause, he stated, "Whoever wins gets one wish." after a pause, he repeated. "Any wish."
"A Wish!"Jodha shockingly questioned.
He slightly smirked replied tactfully, "Looks like My Rajvanshi queen is already frightened; forget it then."
"I accept it, "Jodha declared proudly.
"Are you sure? You agreed on any wish!" He confirmed with a lustful gaze.
Jodha, with overconfidence, argued, "hmmm...Why should I worry??? I know I am going to win."
His eyes were dancing with humor seeing her overconfidence. "Done! Then let's play." Jalal stated.
They set up the chessboard in the middle of their bed, and the game started.
"Shahenshah, I was shocked to see tears in your merciless eyes."Jodha teasingly said.
Jalal narrowed his eyes and gazed at her with deadly silent resentment. Seeing his dark eyes, she shivered and thought, oh god, he didn't understand I was jesting and took it seriously.
He replied in a calm but threatening tone, "Queen Jodha, it was not tears; something fell in my eyes, so my eyes got moist." Calmness in his manner once again warned her. she took a deep sighed out and mumbled to herself. 'he is too controlling and dominating.'
While playing, Jodha talked about Amer, her childhood, her brother Sujamal, and how she learned to fence. She also spoke about her friends, palace, brothers, sisters, and about everyone without even stopping for a breath. Jalal was amusingly listened to her sweet talks and stole glances at her secretly. He was enjoying her ongoing innocent chat. While she was talking, he laughed inwardly, comparing her to other women in his harem, how desperately they tried to please him with their dance, music, and lustful behavior.
After a while, she realized that Jalal had not said anything about himself, and she is the only one who is talking. Jodha, with a cranky tone, complained, "Shahenshah, I am talking so much, and you hardly said a word and stopped gazing at me like this."
"Queen Jodha, I was waiting for my turn to talk."Jalal mockingly replied while hiding his grin.
"Shahenshah, this is not your courtroom where you have to scan, scramble, and weigh every word before saying. You better talk to me; otherwise, I will not say a word."Jodha, with an irritated expression, warned him.
"Ohhh... my Rajvanshi queen is giving me a warning." He smirked.
Jodha squinted her eyes at him.
He continued with a serious tone, "Queen Jodha, it doesn't matter where I am. I am the Shahenshah of this kingdom, so every word that comes out of my mouth is scanned."
"I don't agree with that, Shahenshah," Jodha replied hesitantly.
"What do you mean, queen Jodha? I always think and scan my words before saying. I learned that in my childhood, and now it became part of my routine, it comes naturally." Jalal said confusingly.
"I agreed you mostly scan and talk, but when you are angry, your mind doesn't scan what you are saying. Did you scan your bitter words before saying them to me?"Jodha argued.
"Yes! I did scan every single word before saying to you; I wanted to take revenge from you, I wanted to shatter your pride, so I was purposely hurting you with my harsh words." He paused for a few seconds and said in a soft and guilty tone, "It was my ego Jodha, not words."He replied while looking straight in her eyes.
Silence prevailed, and silence has its own language. Jodha understood his apology in his silence. They played quietly for a few minutes.
Jodha gulped the past and seriously asked, "Shahenshah, Can I ask you something?" She paused to see him and continued, "I want you to scan, scramble, and weigh your words before you answer my question."
Jalal confusingly gazed at Jodha and replied, "Hmmm, ask me?"
"Tell me three people whom you trust blindly." Asked Jodha.
Jalal replied promptly, "NO ONE...NOT EVEN MYSELF."
Jodha looked back at him, surprised and shocked, then asked him again, "Don't you trust your Badi Ammi? Not even Queen Rukaiya Shahenshah?"
"I have the same answer to this question, as well. I am the King of the kings. I don't even trust my own shadow. No, I don't have trust in Badi Ammi or Queen Rukaiya. Jodha, I can't trust anyone. I only trust my ears and my own eyes. I have seen enough treachery to know not to trust anyone."
Jodha sadly replied, "By the way, Shahenshah, trust comes from the heart, and sometimes even your own eyes and your ears can betray you, but if you trust and hear the sound of your heart, it never betrays. For me, trust is everything. I trust Moti and Reva completely. I trust many people, and fortunately, no one has betrayed me other than my DESTINY." She paused; her eyes had immense sorrow, she continued gloomily, "It is sad to know that my husband will never have trust in me."
Again she challenged him with her simple fact of life. Seeing the deep pain in her eyes, Jalal said in a dark, unsure tone, "Queen Jodha, I don't know why, but I think I have started to trust you, and I am terrified of that feeling. What if you also?"
With a giggle, Jodha replied, "What if I kill you and run away with a Rajvashi king?"
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