《Is It Hate OR Love? Jodha Akbar》Chapter 5
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While kissing on her lips spitefully, Jalal's eyes wedged the sight of blood on her hand, which was flooding out. Suddenly, after seeing blood, his senses returned, and realized he was about to force on her. His heart sank, seeing her condition. The way she was standing exposed without her dupatta (stole), her hair looked clumsy, and all messed up lips swollen, and there were many bite marks on her cleavage and collarbone. He couldn't believe himself; he did all this to her. Instantly, he released her hand from his grip; when he felt blood on his hand, he stepped back in shock. She was standing there like a lifeless corpse; There was no reaction from her.
In a faint, guilty tone, Jalal apologized, "Queen Jodha, please forgive me," there was no reaction from her. His words didn't reach her ears. She stared at him impassively. He decided to leave the tent since he was disgusted with himself. He started walking out, and suddenly he heard a loud noise like something fall. He hurriedly turned and saw Jodha on the floor unconscious, "Jodhaaa." he roared.
He carried her in his arms and carefully put her on the bed; then He grabbed dupatta (stole) from the floor and covered her to hide assaulting marks on cleavage. Then swiftly, he came out of the tent and instructed his guard to call the doctor (Hakim) immediately and told Moti to go inside with him.
Moti ran inside the tent with Jalal; she was shocked to see Jodha in this condition. Seeing her swollen lips, she immediately understood what must have happened. Tears began to delude out from her eyes silently.
She knew Jodha was fasting for the last three days, and today the whole day, she was cooking.
Within a minute, the doctor (Hakim) rushed into the tent; seeing her condition, she shuddered for a second. She wiped her wound and put medicated ointment to stop bleeding. After checking Jodha's pulse and eyes, "Why is she so pale, her skin also too dry. Seems like she is dehydrated? Her pulse is so slow. Is she eating and drinking properly?" she asked questionably while looking at Jalal and Moti.
Jalal looked towards Moti for the answer.
Moti began to cry loudly out of panic. "Jodha is fasting for the last three days; she has not eaten or drank anything."
Jalal's eyes widened in shock; he angrily stared at Moti. When she continued crying, he shouted, "Keep your mouth shut and tell me why she was fasting?"
Moti feared seeing dreadful anger in Jalal's eyes; in a low voice, she explained, "Queen Jodha has not eaten anything after her wedding. She was very depressed while leaving Amer; I overheard her grieving with the god Krishna for tarnishing her dream and life; she was so upset at God; she chose to punish god by punishing herself. Since her childhood, she has had immense faith in Lord Krishna, and she always speaks to him like his acquaintance and well-wisher. She has done many fasts before, but since it was a long journey and on top of it, today she cooked in front of a hot grill. She directed me not to notify anyone about her fasting, and no one even asked why she didn't eat for three days and night, but she will eat tomorrow morning after prayer since today is the last day of her fasting."
Jalal got extremely surprised and disturbed to find that Jodha has not eaten anything for the last three days. He scolded Moti in a tender tone for not telling him about her fasting. He was already disgusted at himself for forcing himself on her; both of her hands were still bleeding. He felt guilty knowing that she has been fasting for three days, and he made her cook for so many people just to break her apart. Seeing her pale and weak face, he was feeling even more remorseful. He said to himself. Oh, God, I have not seen anyone so headstrong and divine like her, who could even fight and punish god by punishing herself.
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Jalal anxiously asked, "(Doctor) Hakim Sahiba, How is queen Jodha's condition?"
Cautiously, she replied, "Shahenshah, she is fragile, and her pulses are sinking. If you permit me, I would like to give her some remedy with water; since she is fasting, I am not sure what to do; otherwise, without medicine, it's going to be very difficult."
Without thinking much, Jalal responded, "(Doctor) Hakim Sahiba, give her medication and water immediately and do everything you can to cure her."
Jodha was still unconscious, and Jalal was standing near the window thinking about what he had done to Jodha. He recalled her innocent chirpy smile and proud face when they met first; he turned then and saw her feeble and sad face.
Seeing her state, he felt suffocated. His mind often questioned, why is he so obsessive about her? Why is he losing his self-control against her? Why is he so concerned about her condition? He has so many women in his harem, then why is she affecting him so much after her rejection? To convince himself, he thought, maybe I am feeling guilty because I am responsible for her condition today; otherwise, she is nothing in my life.
His mind haunted the same thoughts. It was more than an hour now, but he was still lost. Suddenly Hakim Sahiba's fearful sound snapped him out of his thoughts. She said in a timid voice, "Shahenshah, queen Jodha's condition is getting worse. She has a high fever and seems like she is scared or afraid of killing her from inside. Even in her unconscious condition, she is shivering, and her facial expression changes like she has seen a ghost. If her fever doesn't go down soon, I will not be able to help her. I have given her all the medicines I could; now, the only god can save her."
Jalal knew what fear was killing her from inside. He ordered everyone to go out of the room for a few minutes and leave them alone.
Jalal sat on the bed next to where she was sleeping; he said in a sorrowful guilty tone, "Queen Jodha" he held her hand softly and continued, "Please forgive me for my grave mistake. I am giving you a promise; I will not touch you without your consent; I will never demand my husband's rights." Then he caressed her face with care and continued, "Please trust me, I will never force myself on you ever again, and my rage took over my all wits. I am your husband, and I promise I will protect you from everyone, even myself." Jalal could see her terrified expressions changed to calm ones after his apology. He could sense she heard his words. Seeing calmness on her face, he felt relieved, and for a while, he forgot that he is a King of Hindustan and his self-centered ego. He was only a husband then; he started to take care of her. As per Hakim's instruction, he began to put cold water cloth on her head, and gradually, in a few hours, her condition started to improve.
(Doctor) Hakim Sahiba and Moti were surprised to see Shahenshah treating and sitting next to her warily.
Three hours passed, but Jalal was without a blink taking care of Jodha.
At last, her fever reduced. She opened her eyes and saw Jalal sitting next to her. As soon as her eyes laid on him, her face again got filled with extreme fear. Jalal could read the terror in her eyes. He loudly said to everyone, "Takhliya" (depart the tent)
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He gently held her hand and remorsefully said, "Don't be scared of me, Queen Jodha, please forgive me for my slip. Your rejection, beauty, anger, and drunk condition created a monster inside me. I didn't realize when I lost control over myself and was about to do Gunah E Azim (unforgivable sin). I am extremely guilty for what I have done to you. I promise you one thing today; I will not touch you without your permission. I strongly believe that touching any woman without her consent is the biggest offense, and even God doesn't forgive for that sin.."
She stared at him with mystified expressions. She couldn't believe what she heard.
After a long deep sigh, he said in a slight grumpy tone, "But I want you to know that the amount of hatred you hold against me, I hold double that against you. You have dared to challenge Mughals and me, and that is the only reason I have married you, to take revenge on you."
He paused briefly to see her expression; his ego was hurting for apologizing for his mistake. To hide his care and defeat, he continued firmly, "Queen Jodha, understand one thing very clearly, I have more than five thousand women in my harem, you are not special at all, and I am not obsessed about you or your beauty, and I do not want to give you more importance by touching you. You will stay in a Mughal palace as my winning trophy, just like a decorative showpiece. You are not at all mattering to me. But unfortunately, you are my official wedded queen; hence you will have to follow all the rules with respect; otherwise, no one can protect you from me. You have already seen my anger once; just pray you don't have to see that again." He looked at her frustratingly for a few seconds; then he walked out of the tent. His expressions were mixed with pain and anger. It was clearly visible on his face that her rejection and his actions hurt him.
Jodha was confused; on one side, he apologized and promised, and on the other side, he threatened her. But she felt relieved to hear that he will not touch her without her permission. 'You are nothing in my life. You are nothing more than a decoration piece in my palace.' The sentences seized her heart and echoed a few times.
After Jalal left, Moti came running inside the tent and started to cry warily and happily. She hugged Jodha and asked her impatiently, "How did you get injured on your wrist... what happened last night?"
Jodha's tears pricked out, recalling that horrifying flash. She told everything to Moti about what had happened, how Jalal tried to force on her, how violently he kissed her and brutally injured her while holding her wrist harshly, and then suddenly his consciousness awakened. He stopped it; then he apologized; after that, I don't remember anything.
Moti's eyes also feared with terror and tears; she hugged Jodha to give her comfort.
"Jodha, I am so shocked to hear this because the entire night Shahenshah took care of you without a blink; every five minutes, he was changing cold water cloth to reduce your fever; he sat next to you all night and didn't let anyone else take care of you. He seemed extremely worried and concerned for you, Jodha, but what you are telling me is so different, his ruthless words and actions, I am so confused." Moti said
Jodha wiped Moti's tears and said, "I am also very puzzled and confused by his behavior. In my unconscious state, I was able to hear every word but could not move. He apologized and assured me that he would not touch me without my consent and caressed my face tenderly. he held my hand for so long to give me comfort and assure that he is with me, and then again he apologized and promised me when I came back to my consciousness, but then he also threatened me and told me ruthless words."
Jodha, I think he cares about you; why else would he take care of you for the entire night and apologize for his behavior and he also swore that he would not touch you unless you wish." Moti softly replied"
Jodha stopped Moti and irritably said, "Moti, he doesn't care about me. He was guilty about his behavior, and otherwise, he is a Jallad (devil). I will never forgive him. I hate him so much that I do not wish to see his face.
A few hours later, early in the morning, Jalal sent Jodha food and ordered the maids to make sure she finishes the food.
Jalal is in his tent thinking of his own action and questioned himself, why he is so much concerned for Jodha??? Why does he want to make sure she has eaten or not??? I am a king, and I do not care about anyone. He was confused by his behavior. All of his thoughts were wounding his ego again; he came back to reality and started thinking; I cannot bow down to Jodha like this. I have to win, I have to teach her a lesson, and I have to break her ego. She needs to know who I am.
The maid brought food to Jodha and requested her to eat; otherwise, Shahenshah will get upset with her.
Jodha was surprised to hear this; why is this Jallad (devil) trying to be nice to me? There must be something in his mind?
Jodha arrogantly sent the food back and instructed the maid to let Jalal know that she will eat after finishing her prayer and tell Shahenshah that I don't need any special treatment from him; I can order food for myself.
Jalal received Jodha's message and got angry; her rejection hurt his ego once again. How dare she disobey my orders, she will have to learn a lesson. He walked towards her tent furiously and gazed at her with angry red eyes and then shouted, "Jodha begum, what do you think of yourself? You are too arrogant; now it's time to teach a lesson of manners; I will punish you for not obeying my order. Today you will not be allowed to do the god Krishna's prayer. This is your punishment for disrespecting me. You worry more about god Krishna than my command; now you will know what Shahenshah's order means." He called and gave the guards orders to watch Jodha begum and make sure she does not perform her prayer; before Jodha could say even a word, he crossly walked out of her tent. This was a tremendous punishment for her. First time in her life, she will not do God Krishna's prayer. So she decided not to eat or drink until she performs her prayer the next morning.
There was an essential function and welcome celebration planned at Agra Place for Jodha. It was a part of the customs of marriage. His first wife, Queen Rukaiya, was happy because Jalal was returning to Agra after many days. Jalal gets married or bringing women with him was not new to her. The only difference this time has been that he officially married a Rajput Hindu princess. As per his religion, he could marry four times in his life. Rukaiya and Jalal were best friends from their childhood. Rukaiya always loved Jalal, but Jalal saw her as his best friend, adviser, and chief wife. He did not love her, but she was very much important in his life. Rukaiya controlled all his queens and concubines. She was very good at politics and commending power. She influenced Jalal on his political decision. It was a shock when she heard Jalal married officially to the Rajput princess without any discussion.
Eventually, after three days of the tiring journey, they all arrived at Agra, the palace in the afternoon.
A loud announcement was made at the gate of the Agra Palace arrival of the Shahenshah E Hindustan and new queen Jodha bai.
Jodha looked outside of the palanquin; her eyes oozed, seeing the palace's grandeur and opulence richness. They went through the detailed artistically carved entrance. Even the colorful door had gemstones studded. Her eyes widen, seeing the majestic architecture of the huge palace. The complete inner layer of the palace was made with marbles. Every single wall was engraved with beautiful artistry. She was speechless seeing this affluent royal palace. She came out of the palanquin; her face was covered with a long veil. She looked through her veil, a lot of people came to welcome them, all the women covered with a veil. They were standing on the other side behind the transparent curtain. All the guards and maids were in the same type of uniform. She felt disgusted seeing other women who were trying to get Jalal's attention.
She felt surprised to see this grand welcome for her. The palace was beautifully decorated with flowers, and welcome music was going on. Jalal rides off from the horse next to her.
Jalal's mother, Hamida Banoo, came in front excitedly to welcome them. Happiness was clearly visible on her face; she happily said, "Welcome queen Jodha to your new home." She introduced herself to Jodha that she is a mother of Jalal. Jodha immediately bends down to take her blessing.
Before they reached Agra, everyone in the palace came to know about her condition for the marriage. Hamida planned her welcome as per her condition; she was very aware of Hindu customs since she spent many Hindu house years. She called Hindu maids to sing Rajvanshi welcome songs for Jodha. Then as per ritual, she followed Griha Pravesh (first-time bride entry to the home) custom, which annoyed Jalal and Maham Anga. But as Jalal had agreed on her conditions, he did not utter a word. Jodha was feeling too tired; she wanted to rest since she hadn't eaten anything for four days. She was deeply depressed and miserable because she could not perform god Krishna's prayer for the day.
Jalal kept Jodha's health condition hidden from everyone since he was at fault. When Hamida took off Jodha's Ghoonghat, she got shocked seeing her face. She also noticed the bandages on her hands. Immediately, she put her veil (ghoonghat) back and told everyone that queen Jodha needs to rest; she will see everyone at tonight's function.
Seeing Jodha's contour, Hamida knew something was not right. Something must have happened on the way. She looked at Jalal angrily with a questioning gaze. Jalal was not able to see in her eyes... Seeing guilt on his face and eyes, Hamida decided to take Jodha to her palace.
Hamida took Jodha to her chamber while talking to her politely; her words were comforting and soothing on her wound. After the marriage, the first time, she felt serene in her warmth.
She made her sit on a divan and pulled her veil from her face, then softly caressed her head and asked with much care & concern, "Queen Jodha, my dear child, are you all right? Is everything fine?"
Jodha couldn't hold any more; she began to cry like a small child. Hamida hugged her with love and said, "I am like your mother, don't worry, Jodha, I will always stay by your side. Don't feel that you are alone here. Anytime you feel sad or need something, just come to me, my child."
Hamida let her cry on her shoulder for a minute; when she noticed Jodha calmed down a little, she continued.
"I don't know what Jalal has done, but let me tell you something, my son is not a terrible person, he lost his father at a very tender age, and then he had to take care of the entire Sultanate at a young age, so day by day he became like a stone. He has seen a very rough time, and many betrayals have turned him into a heartless person. I am aware of what circumstance you agreed to marry him against your desire and sacrifice your life for your land and family. You are a pure-hearted selfless person; everyone and around him wants something from him; I am sure one day he will recognize your value and purity. I have hope that one day you will bring my Jalal back." She hugged her again, kissed her forehead, and said, "God bless you, my child!" Then she gave Jewelry and an outfit for the function to wear, which Jalal picked, especially for Jodha. Before leaving, she told her that many important people are coming today to attend this function of your welcome, so relax now and get ready in three hours.
Jodha gratefully thanked her; Her comforting word and warmth reassured her that she was not alone in this big palace.
As per routine, Jalal went to see Queen Rukaiya first. Rukaiya was so happy to see Jalal that her tears came out. She hugged him with passion, but somehow Jalal was still lost and couldn't respond in the same way. His response was too dry; Something was bothering him. But abruptly, he snapped out to reality and hugged Rukaiya with the same passion and asked her warmly, "How are you, my dear Queen? You are looking lovely as usual."
Rukaiya instantly knew something was different about Jalal today. "You look like a different man Jalal. You look lost somewhere." She teasingly said
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