Just when I thought things were better.

Just when I thought I was ready for my baby.

Life wanted to kick me right in my heavily pregnant guts.

Jamie decided to crawl back into my life, with all of his barren promises and his sly smiles, he cleverly crept back in. With him, I had no strength. My thoughts were always so strong, yet my will was pathetically so weak whenever it came to him. I stupidly opened the door to my new flat to Jamie, and stupidly let him make himself right at home. And oh my goodness, didn't he just. His face was full of cocky delight, when he saw the new home that I had created. With my mum no longer breathing down his immature neck, he took great pride in becoming the man of the house.

His arrogance, had increased.

His dominance, had increased.

His cruelty, had increased.

I found myself caught up in something that was so much bigger than I ever could be. Trapped in a relationship, that I was too weak to ever get away from. All those previous times when I would wish that Jamie wouldn't ever leave me, with only a few weeks left to go until I had my baby, I began praying that he just would.

In the week or so that he had pranced around my flat like he was the king of a castle, I had discovered he had been cheating on me. Not with just one girl, but two. One was a girl, who had left her lipstick on the collar of his polo top and her name and number in the pocket of his jeans, with the i within her name cutely dotted with a heart. Apparently, she was a young and impressionable DJ groupie, but the other girl...well, she was someone that I had considered a friend.

I'm going to leave her nameless, because even to this day, I don't like to use her name. That girl, was someone I had confided in. For months, I had been telling her how much Jamie was hurting me, I even cried in her flat, because of that hurt. In some ways, her betrayal was far worse than Jamie's.

I had come to expect it from him.

I never expected it from her.

Remember when I said how mine and Jake's paths would one day cross again? Well, Jake was her boyfriend. He had fathered some of her children. That night when I stopped him from doing over Jamie, if Jake had known about all that had been going on between my boyfriend and his girlfriend...I don't think that even I could have stopped him.

When I found out about the cheating, I was crushed. But then again, Jamie had a wandering mind, a wandering heart—of course he would have a wandering eye as well.

At the time, those two girls were just the tip of the infidelity iceberg. All those times that Jamie would be gone, I now know that he was sleeping around with just about every girl who paid him and his ego any attention.

But when you're heavily pregnant, feeling isolated and unloved, then discover that your guy has been cheating on you, it's a hard blow to take.

I was scared.

Scared of everything.

I felt fat.

Ugly.

All of my 'new beginnings' optimism had been completely rubbed out by Jamie's cheating and lying. When I thought that things couldn't get any worse, they so horribly did...so violently did.

I can't even remember what the argument had been about, only that there was an argument. I know that we were in the bedroom. I also know that I was feeling incredibly insecure. Jamie would always get this distant look in his eye and be moody and quiet when he was readying himself to walk out the door for however long he needed to be gone, and on that afternoon; he had that look in his eye.

So an argument began.

Jamie shouted.

I shouted.

We shouted over one another.

Usually, he would just go. But on this particular day, he didn't. His words became more spiteful and more personal. He hated my pregnancy bump. In fact, it repulsed him.

One night, the baby had been very active, so I had grabbed his hand so he could experience it. "Can you feel that?" I asked him, smiling at the joy of the movement from our baby.

Jamie grimaced, before jerking his hand right away from my swollen stomach. "That's disgusting!" Was his inappropriate response. "Seriously, that feels gross!"

So really, was it any wonder that he would be calling my pregnant self, every degrading name that he could possibly think of on that cruel afternoon?

As the argument had gotten more heated, at some point, I tried to leave the bedroom, but Jamie wouldn't let me. From out of his mouth, vile words were constantly being thrown at me. His eyes became black and wide, with detached fury. It was during his verbal onslaught, that I felt the baby kick, so I tried again to leave the room.

"You're not going anywhere." Jamie spat at me, pushing me deeper back inside of the bedroom.

"Let me through." I pushed back, eyeing the bedroom door with determination.

"No!" Jamie angrily pushed me back again, only this time, with more strength behind his angry push.

Stupidly, I pushed against that angry push of his. "Let me out!" I shouted, yet tears had already began to roll themselves down my reddened cheeks.

Then, Jamie pushed me harder than ever before, pushing me down onto the bed, before beginning his uncontrollable fist frenzy into the whole of my back. Face and belly down, I cried and screamed, while he kept punching my back. Using my arms and hands, I protected the sides of my belly, not wanting him to punch me anywhere in the stomach. So I stayed in the position that I was. I was sobbing and I was crying, but I didn't fight. In the blink of an eye, my relationship with Jamie had changed. I was now wading in dangerous waters with him, and I knew I was completely out of my depth.

I don't know how long he had hit me for. It felt too long. Too long, trying to protect my baby from being hurt from him. Until finally, it stopped. I didn't even move, when Jamie left the flat. I heard his fierce breaths become more and more distant, until the flat door opened, then finally slammed behind him.

All alone, I was left with what had happened.

All alone, I never felt more alone.

All alone, I had endured the biggest hurt of all.