Over the next couple days, you stayed at Viktor's. The knowledge that your kidnappers knew where you lived made you sick, and you could barely stand to leave the house, let alone return home. You were overcome by irregular waves of fatigue that sent you spiralling down to low points. Just when you thought that you'd recovered, that you were getting better, you heard a crow squawk in the eaves, or were startled by some miscellaneous loud noise from outside, and were back where you started.

Finally, after two days of staying indoors and slowly working your way through the ungodly amount of books he had stashed about the place, you felt well enough to return home.

Viktor offered to walk with you, and you gladly accepted. The incident had sparked an irrational fear of abandonment, and the last thing you needed was a walk across the city by yourself.

On the way there, you noticed he was unusually quiet. He had been, the past few days. You'd tried to start conversations by asking about work or plans or upcoming events, but every attempt dwindled after a few quiet sentences. When he was deep in thought or preoccupied he often lapsed into long silences, but it didn't seem to be that. If anything, he looked almost... sad. Troubled.

As expected, the walk to your apartment was quiet. You both spoke, but it was a shell of your former conversations, one-sided and lacking. Once you reached your door, he stopped. Before you could say your goodbyes, he spoke.

"Y/N, I..."

Something in his tone made your heart plummet. Still, you managed to maintain your composure, although your concern manifested in a slight lower of your eyebrows. "Yes?"

"I think..." He took a breath, steeling himself. Then- "I think we shouldn't see each other anymore."

The breath left your lungs. You hadn't heard correctly, surely. "What?"

"We shouldn't..." he repeated, but his voice trailed off. He had a look of resignation on his face; he'd come this far, he'd said this much, now he had to follow through. No turning back. "I don't think it's safe for us to be... friends anymore."

"What?" you said again. You could barely hear your voice over the ringing in your ears.

"It's just- Look, everything that happened to you, it happened because of me-"

"Viktor-"

"You were abducted because you knew me. That girl wanted information that she thought you knew because you knew me. I should never have told you about any of the Hextech plans in the first place. It was stupid of me. Nothing ever would've happened if we'd just-"

"Just what?" You were surprised by the hard edge to your voice, and the hazy fog of anger seeping into your brain.

It was a long time before he spoke. His mouth worked silently, his words coming out hesitant. "Just," he began. A pause. "Just never..."

Your heart sank. "If we'd just never met," you finished, and you knew by the heavy look in his eyes that that was what he'd meant.

"I can't forgive myself for it, Y/N. For what happened to you. For what I caused."

"Viktor..."

This time he didn't interrupt you, but you didn't know what to say. You wanted to say so much, too much. The words clustered in your throat, choking you, too much. You couldn't speak.

"I care about you so much, Y/N, but I'd rather you be safe than continue to-"

You turned and began to unlock your door. You had to leave. It was all so much, too much, so unexpectedly. Your fingers fumbled with your keys. They slipped from your grasp and clattered against the floor. Hot tears built up behind your eyes, blurring your vision. It took a moment of scrabbling on your haunches to grab them again.

You felt a hand on your shoulder. "Y/N-"

"No," you said without turning. "It's fine. It's fine. I'm fine. If you want to just- forget you ever knew me, fine."

"I didn't mean that-"

"Then what did you mean?" You didn't give him a chance to answer before the lock finally clicked open. He had barely spoken another word when you whirled inside, shutting it quickly behind you.

A part of you had hoped that once you'd disappeared back into the peaceful solitude of your home, it'd all disappear. You'd be alone. It would be over. But that wasn't how things worked. Regardless of the locked door between the two of you, Viktor was still there. Right there. But just for a moment, it was silent. You were both mere inches apart, both staring at the thing slab of wood and metal that separated the two of you.

Finally, a knock. Viktor's voice was so quiet you could barely hear it over your quick breaths and ringing ears.

"Y/N, I'm sorry." A pause. "I shouldn't have been so blunt. I didn't mean it that way."

Another pause. You waited, holding your breath. When it seemed that finally it was over, that he'd gone (forever?), you crossed the room, heading towards your bathroom. You needed to splash some cold water on your face, sit on the tiles, and think.

But then, a final, quiet, pleading word for the other side.

"Please."

You stared at the door, the handle. A part knew you should go back and give him a chance, stop being so unreasonable, but you were so... hurt. Angry. At yourself. At him. Upset. At yourself. At him.

You turned away.

And so you disappeared into your bedroom and sat on your bed, head in hands. By the time you finally left the room, seconds or minutes or hours later, you had gathered the strength to open the door.

You turned the handle. Pushed it open. But the hallway was empty. It was quiet.

You were too late.

He was gone.