I've been by his side every since I found out about the car crash. I wasted no time coming to check on him and how he was.

Right now he's in a coma fighting for his life and I'm right by his side fighting for us. All the things I've said , every time we've argued it was so meaningless compared to this. We should have been loving each other instead of fighting every second of the day , maybe if I hadn't said that in the cafeteria that day he wouldn't have been so upset that he didn't pay attention to the road.

I should've been there for him, I failed him.

Every time I look at his pale face that remained gorgeous as ever I cry until I can't anymore , everyone has tried to persuade for me to go home and at least lie down in my bed but I refused every time. I can't leave him when he needs me most I don't care how long it takes I'll stay right here and wait until he wakes up.

*****

A couple days turned into weeks and weeks into months but still I will always remain by his side. I've had all my school work be collected and brought to the hospital along with my clothes and other necessities, I've basically turned this into my own room.

They had to move him because the old room didn't have a shower for me and I couldn't be dirty when he woke I needed to be clean and healthy so I could help him regain his strength.

Today I was going home just for a little while to see Jacob, I've really missed him and being here I barely get to see him.

"Hi baby" I coo at him trying my best to seem perky but really I'm hurt. He gurgles a little and flap his arms around clearly excited to see me.

I smile as a tear leaves my eye, I know Xzavier would be so happy to see how big baby Jacob has gotten. At the a mere five months he's doing so much.

"Autumn"

"Hi dad" I wipe my tear away quickly hoping he didn't notice. He sighs and takes a seat next to me on the couch.

"Babygirl your stronger then this , you got to have faith that he will wake up"

"I feel like he won't wake. Apart of me feels a if he doesn't want to wake up and it scares me so much dad... I love him" he pulls me into him and hugs me tightly while jacob lays in my arms.

"It's going to be okay"

"No it's not! He doesn't want to wake up and it's my fault!" I'm then pulled from the comfort of his arms until I could see his face,he was serious.

"I've raised you better then this! Your the most strongest person I've met autumn and now what your scared?! You want him to wake up again? Give him that strength to fight for it. How must he know his strength when all he's surrounded by is tears and people saying how sorry they are for him? You love this boy?"

"Yes"

"Then you go to him and you make him listen to you, your going to make him fight for all that you two have been through ,for the sake of both of your hearts and if he comes back to you then that's true love"

I took in every word my dad has said and he's right , how can I expect Xzavier to wake up when I'm not motivating him to. I need to be stronger and give him the strength to wake up.

"Thank you dad" I hug and kiss him while placing Jacob into his lap.

I know what I have to do

Now and I won't let my fear of losing him to this coma stop me from being there for him.

I jump in my parents car and head for the hospital. This time I'm going to make him listen , I'm going to make him want to wake up. He's going to fight and I'm going to be the one motivating him.

I make it to the hospital and this time I walk to his room with confidence I feel fearless with every step I take not once did I second guess myself. I stand over his body that looks void of life , I keep my composure and lean so that my face is directly above his.

"Wake up Xzavier!" My voice was demanding.

"You say that you love me right? If you really love me you'll get your sorry ass up and tell me that to my face! Don't say it in your head I want to hear it come from your lips Xzavier because if you don't wake up I'll hate you"

"I'll hate everything about you and I'll leave for London probably tomorrow actually. I'll get a new boyfriend and he'll be so much better then you because you know what? He won't leave me like you did because he'll actually mean it when he say that he loves me and would never leave me unlike you"

"I've seen what you can do Xzavier, your strong and head strong anything you want you have it so don't try to give yourself excuses to not wake the fuck up! You hear me! Be the Xzavier I know and love with every fiber in my being , be the Xzavier that would never leave me"

"You look really pathetic laying in this bed all lifeless it disgusts me to think that I've been dating someone so weak that they don't know their own strength to get up and make it through this shit! Your known as Xzavier the bad boy that never backs down from anything so don't back down now, don't let this stop you from being you or you'll die without purpose." I know the words that I'm saying to him would get to him , he has to hear me.

"How can I expect a future with someone who doesn't care enough for a future for himself? Is that what your trying to tell me , that you don't want a life with me? I'll walk right out that door and will never come back again" I walk around his bed still keeping my eye on his body.

His heart rate starts to pick up but it only motivates me more. I finally got him to listen now all I have to do is to get him to wake up.

"I was really thinking about London you know , what could be waiting for me there. Maybe I'll fall in love with one of those guys and have the dream life I hoped for with you. I remember all the stuff you told me and every time we argued we made up in the rain, you remember don't you? Well it's raining now Xzavier nows your time to wake up so that we can make up. No more arguing... for now"

After my little rant I sit down in the chair and wait for him to wake up but he still doesn't. The sudden urge to pee takes over me so I use the restroom, I came out thinking he'd be up but he wasn't. He still laid in that bed hopelessly.

I stood by the window watching as the rain fell from the sky onto the ground. It was beautiful and peaceful watching the rain in silence , even though I miss the conversations we had when we would just watch the rain fall. They were so random but the best moments about us.

"Don't leave me Xzavier" I close my eyes and take in a deep breathe not wanting the rain to never stop pouring.

Lighten struck somewhere making a very big booming sound in to follow it. I was at ease while calmly watching the leaves on the trees move in a certain direction because of the wind and rain.

"I wasn't planning on it kitten" I quickly turn around and there he is.

My Xzavier sitting up with a weak smile on his face , he still looked a little pale but in all I was glad the he was awake. Without hesitation I run and jump onto him not caring what the nurses will say all I care about is being under him.

"I-I thought"

"Shh I'm here kitten , I will never leave you"

"You wouldn't wake up" I bury my face into the crook of his neck and sob more tears then I have these past five months but only now they were tears of joy.

"I heard you and I had to tell the most beautiful girl in the world that I love her so much" I continue to cry while holding onto him , I'm afraid if I let go then he'll disappear and leave me again.

"Don't you ever do that to me again"

"I won't but don't you ever say your going to find someone better then me. I mean have you seen me no one can look this good kitten" I smile through my tears.

Even though he's in the hospital he still managed to make me smile through this , all the hurt and pain I've been through vanished and now I'm the most happiest I could ever be.

"I love you so much"

"I love you to kitten"

"Always"

"Forever"

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