《The Arrangement》Chapter 22
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I stare out at the nights sky and sigh a breath of relief while I take in the fresh air. I'm still angered by what Xzavier did but I decided to hear him out , if I'm going to hear her side I want to hear his also.
"Do you remember when Cassandra and I were dating a few years back"
"Yeah"
"Well we didn't have the best relationship everyone thought we had. I was weak and naive and I let her take advantage of me , she made me believe no one else cared about me but her and I believed it. I thought no one loved me the way Cassandra did but that was all a lie , she mentally fucked me up when she told me she was leaving I thought I would die without her I didn't want her to go so I asked my mom can she stay with us but she declined and I snapped.." I could tell it pained him to talk about what happened , I didn't want to push him further then he could go.
"Xzavier" I began rubbing his back in soothing circles.
"I threatened my mom... can you believe that my own mother who I love so much , I threatened her and told her if she didn't let Cassandra and I be together than I would kill everyone I ever loved. I flipped out on everyone , I tried fighting my father, I beat random people up in the street it didn't matter anything in my sight I destroyed until they put me in a mental institution, And than one day right before Cassandra's leave she stopped by and seen me... I remember I was so happy to see her , everyone told me that she didn't really love me but I thought that they all were lying...."
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"When she came in the room and seen me she smiled as if she was amused but I thought nothing of it I was just happy to see her. She sat down across from me and told me that she never loved me and that it was all a game... she told me I was weak and I should just kill myself because I was nothing. That day after she left and told me her real feelings I cried I was so dumb for her when I finally realized what she did to me I was sick to my stomach. It didn't take me long to become cold hearted and not care about anything but my family I refused to let another girl have my heart only to destroy it the way she did"
"And than you came along and proved my heart wrong. Your caring , loving , kind and all the things I want and I don't want you to leave me it was fucked up I know but I can't lose the one good thing that's happened to me because of a bitch like Cassandra. I can't tell you why I kissed her back because I don't know that myself but we didn't have sex she wanted to but I couldn't and I didn't want to I'm yours and only yours I don't give a shït about all of these other girls your the girl for me." He grabs my hand and tightens his grip as if he's scared I'll leave him.
My rage didn't die it only grew knowing what Cassandra did to him, it was clear he was in love with her but it wasn't the good type of love that wasn't love at all it was only manipulation. She hurt him badly and that's not something you can ever forget.
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"I love you too, Your right you did fuck up by kissing her but I can't pin that on you. It's clear that she still has a little affect on you like she use to but you can get over it all you have to do is forget don't let what she did to you haunt you or eat you alive let it out express what your feeling because it's for the best. Forget about Cassandra she's no longer apart of our lives and I personally don't want to ever talk about her again because after hearing this I want to beat her ass all over again" I kiss hand that holds onto mine reassuring him that I wasn't going anywhere , he needs me at this time and I'm going to be there for him.
Even though he kissed her that's all it was only a kiss and I can get over that it's not like he had sex with her. But I'm still bothered by what she's done to him and I know he has to live with that forever , the painful reminder of what Cassandra caused in his life.
He pulls me into his lap and caress my air while he places light kisses on my shoulder.
"You make me so happy kitten"
I stare out at the stars that shine bright in the night sky that seem to shine brighter tonight. Xzavier nuzzles his face in my neck with a heavy sigh and I already know what's wrong with him.
"Come on baby lets go home" I kiss his lips before going back to the car , we get in and he drives all the way home. We stay in a comfortable silence the whole ride home.
Once we're at the house and finally walk in Jason and Mandy stand up ready to what happened with us.
"Autumn I think you should hear Xzavier out he's over Cassandra and-" Jason speaks first.
"I know we talked about it and thank you guys for caring but my baby is tired so we're going to head up to bed" I give both Jason and Mandy I hug before grabbing ahold of Xzavier's hand and leading him upstairs into the room.
We get changed and ready for bed in the same silence as we did in the car. I've seen a while new side of Xzavier today , the side of him thats depressing that he fights to keep hidden.
I lay under him embracing the warm feeling i get when I lay beside him and his arm around my waist. He kisses my forehead before murmuring a goodnight. I knew he was tired when we left out and I could tell why.
"Goodnight Xzavier"
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