I toss and turn not being able to drift to sleep. A certain bad boy seems to invade my mind non stop, I feel like I can trust him but than again Matt's words come back to me and I remember everything that could've been before Xzavier came into my life.

He really surprised me tonight when he snuggled up next to me in his car without trying anything like I would have assumed he would. Maybe he could change his rebel ways but at the same time that's what make him hot.

I can't seem to make up my mind about this while situation. Should I give Xzavier and I a real chance or should I play it out and hate him as I did before.

Either way I've signed that contract meaning I belonged to him until he breaks it. Truthfully I had forgotten all about that stupid contract that I signed to save Matt's family from going bankrupt and going through struggles.

I need to talk to Sarah tomorrow, hopefully she has some advice or anything to help me figure out if what I'm feeling for Xzavier whether it's love or lust?

***

Since Xzavier called to tell me he had a few things to do this morning and couldn't pick me up I decided now would be a good time to talk to my best friend about what's been going on in my life.

Once Sarah parked on the curb next to my house I quickly jumped in the passenger seat and greet her in the most cheerful way possible.

"So what happened to lover boy"

"Xzavier had something to do today so he wasn't going to be able to pick me up"

"I still can't believe you two are together. Do you realize your dating the hottest, popularest, richest , guy in the entire school. Fuck that the entire town!"

"Calm down Sarah" I laugh at her outburst.

"I'm just saying many girls will die to have your spot. Although... I do feel bad for Matt he's been acting strange lately"

"I've noticed. Which brings me to a question"

"What's that baby?"

"Do you think it's right that I'm with Xzavier even though I might have feelings for Matt still?"

She pauses for a minute thinking about what I've just told her. I know that I love Matt , he was the first ever boy that I've felt that way for but when he kissed me it was no fireworks , my stomach didn't get any butterflies I didn't feel as if I was floating it was just..... nothing.

"Do you like Xzavier more than Matt?"

"I don't know I'm so confused I need your help" I sounded as desperate as I was things couldn't be more complicated with my feelings now.

We parked into the schools parking lot but instead of going in we both stayed behind.

"Tell me exactly what made you fall in love with Matt"

"Where do I start. He's loving and caring , I can be myself with him not to mention he was the first guy ever to interest me I know I love him and I feel normal with him. Simple"

"Interesting, now how do you feel about Xzavier?"

"Well he smothers me always wants me to be around him. I mean I like spending time with him , he excites me you know. We never have a dull moment and I really feel close to him sometimes. His lips are delicious I yearn to kiss him every time and I explode when we kiss with butterflies and I blush Every time I see him and we haven't even had sex yet. He make sure I'm okay and genuinely cares about my feelings. Sometimes I hate his guts but than I stare into his mesmerizing eyes and I... I melt."

Silence fills the car as I stare off into the distance taking in the things I just said about Xzavier. I mean I knew I was happy being with him but I didn't know I felt that way about him. Just than Sarah squeals and jumps up and down in her seat.

"Autumn baby your in love! I thought you had it bad for Matt but he's no where near compared to Xzavier even though he can be a dick sometimes your my best friend and if you love him I can look past all that"

"I don't love him I love Matt I know I do"

"You've never talked about Matt like that. Yeah he's attractive but you've never had such strong feelings for him I think that because he's a good guy that you were first attracted to made you think you loved him but no it's Xzavier"

I think about what Sarah says and now it all makes sense. After being with Xzavier I feel high on a drug sometimes , my heart beats fast and I cant breathe. I want to hate him I do but I love things about him , when his hands touch me I feel instant butterflies and our kisses feels like the first every time leave me wanting more. He's extremely sexy and caring , of my feelings anyway. I feel special and....

"I love him" I say in almost a whisper to myself.

"Aww baby how do you feel"

"Scared as hell! He probably doesn't feel the same way Sarah" I panic knowing my feelings but not knowing if he feels the same way.

"Calm down autumn if it helps I'll study him you know what they call me"

"What's that?" I smile amused at my weird best friend.

"The love whisperer" she says with all seriousness.

I stare at her but can't help contain my laughter. Soon she joins me and we laugh while getting out of the car making our into the school.

How did I get so lucky as to have a friend like her even though she's crazy. She my type of crazy , I missed times like these when we can just talk and laugh about anything whether it be serious or not.

"So how's Evan?"

"Perfect. Oh and for spring break I won't be able to make it"

"What? why? We always stay at my parents beach house"

"Well I'm going to spend the week with Evan and his brothers that week"

"His brothers?"

"Yeah he has these two twin brothers who are coming home from college that week and he wants me to meet them"

"Well don't go falling for the twin brother while your there"

"What do you mean I would never!" She screeches.

"I've seen his twin brothers and I'll tell you this now. Their hot as hell"

"So , I have Evan and we are great together"

"When you get laid by the twins I want to her all the details" I walk off into the other direction heading to my class.

"Autumn don't jinx me you whore!"

"I love you to baby. Tell me who was the biggest!" I continue to tease her. She laughs and walks off to her class.

********************

🌹